The Sports Curmudgeon

I am still in Dublin, but this will be the final communique from across the Atlantic for this visit.  We have brought five consecutive days of sunshine to the city; so I expect the Chamber of Commerce and/or the Tourist Bureau here to offer to host us on a regular basis once they find out the cause of this outbreak of blue-sky days.

The Minnesota Timberwolves and their current owner, Glen Taylor have drawn the ire of animal rights activists.

• During the play-in game between the Timberwolves and the Clippers, a protestor tried to glue herself to the court.  [Aside:  Yes, you read that correctly.]  During the administration of a free throw, the game had to be halted as a protester ran onto the floor and attempted to glue her wrists to the court.  Security guards grabbed the woman and got her off the court and the area was cleaned.
• When the Timberwolves made it to the next round of the playoffs against the Grizzlies, play was interrupted again when another protestor chained herself to the basket as an act of protest.  Security guards unchained the woman and five of them carried the woman out of the arena.  While she was chained to the basket, the woman threw animal rights leaflets on the floor and she wore a tee shirt that said, “Glen Taylor Roasts Animals Alive”.

Here is my best understanding of the situation.  Glen Taylor owns a farm that raises chickens in addition to owning the Timberwolves – – which he has just sold .  Evidently, there was an outbreak of avian flu at one of his farms and the group that is orchestrating these protests alleges that Taylor’s farm – – and therefore Taylor himself by extension – – killed 5 million chickens by shutting off the ventilation systems in their habitat.

Taylor will no longer own the Wolves after they finish playing this season.  The new owners will be a consortium led by Alex Rodriguez.  Reports say that the new owners paid $1.5B to buy the franchise – – so I suspect that Glen Taylor will be able to withstand the loss he incurred from having to dispose of those infected chickens.

Finally, let me close with this observation about chickens by Oscar Wilde:

“People who count their chickens before they are hatched act very wisely because chickens run about so absurdly that it is impossible to count them accurately.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

 

 

Greetings from Dublin, Ireland where we have experienced three consecutive days of full sunshine.  We left the US on Sunday night, but I did bring a few notes with me to allow for brief commentary until we get home early next week.

I watched a bit of the opening weekend action in the USFL before leaving the US last Sunday night.  Here are five notes I made during the telecast:

1. The two teams are playing the game in an organized way.  It looks as if the teams have been practicing and playing together for a long time – – which is not the case.  That is a credit to the coaching staffs.
2. Given the recent record of Spring Football Leagues, it should be considered a major accomplishment if the USFL simply makes it to a second season next April.
3. Players are delivering enthusiastic performances.  Motivation is likely that they want NFL observers to see them hustling and making plays as often as possible.  Every player here wants to “graduate” to the NFL.
4. Curt Menefee and Joel Klatt as an announcing team were very good.  Klatt sometimes rattles on, but they let the game speak for itself to a large measure.  They were certainly better than many of the college football announcing crews out there.
5. I am already tired of the “helmet camera”.  Just because technology allows for that to be part of the telecast does not mean it enhances the telecast.

Speaking of TV announcers, there was some good news last week about one of them.  Dick Vitale got to “ring the bell” when tests showed him to be cancer-free.  Vitale had been diagnosed with lymphoma and he also had surgery to remove a melanoma, but after several months of treatment, he went through a PET Scan, and it came up clean.

Vitale is 82 years old; plans call for him to return to the airwaves for ESPN starting next college basketball season.

The Colorado Commission of Indian Affairs is working to remove Native American mascots from various public schools in the State.  It appears that the next target will be schools named “Thunderbirds” because that name represents a mythical bird that is an important part of the culture of several tribes in the State.  I wonder how this Commission will react when the Air Force Thunderbirds land at the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs…

Finally, here is an observation from Douglas Adams, the author of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy:

“There is an art, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.  Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

 

 

Even the oldest baseball stadium in the country can adapt to change.  As the Red Sox get ready for their home opener, there are new additions to the “Fenway Park Experience”.  There is a new studio for NESN – the regional sports network that televises Red Sox home games; a new terrace in right field gives fans an overlook to the entire park; a new and larger video board is in place in right-center field; there are new menu items and … Fenway Park is going cashless.  All purchases inside the park will now be credit card or debit card or “touch payments” e.g., Apple Pay.  Photos of the new facilities at the park look very inviting; the required use of credit cards and other electronic payments at concession stands should be efficient but I wonder how efficient that will be for the guys who are walking the aisles hawking popcorn or hot dogs during the games.  We shall see…

Some of Fenway’s new culinary offerings include:

• MingsBings – – vegan patties made from chopped cauliflower, vegan cheese, hot sauce and a “crispy crust”.
• Fluffer Nutter Fries – – you don’t want to know…
• Cheeto Hot Dogs – – did they pull ingredients out of a hat to create this concoction?
• Apple Fries – – fresh apple fritters are great; how fresh are these going to be?

I mention these changes because they take place at a facility that is 110 years old; even the guardians of that tradition find ways to modernize.  That stands in contrast to the situation that exists with the local NBA team here in Washington DC – – the Washington Wizards.  Their season is over; they finished 12^th out of 15 teams in the Eastern Conference and missed the play-in game round by 8 games.  The Wizards do not always miss the playoffs, but it has been next to forever since anyone thought they were a threat to make it to the Finals let alone win it all.

I get to see the Wizards more than any other NBA team because more of their games are on TV in this area than any other team.  For the last several years the Wizards’ greatest deficiency has been their inability to stop opponents from scoring barrels of points.  Finally, after years of nonchalant defense – and some highly paid players who just did not show even a minor interest in playing defense – the team set out on a “new course” this past season.  The chronic non-defenders were sent elsewhere, and the team hired Wes Unseld Jr. to be the head coach.  Unseld has royal bloodlines in this part of the world AND he brought with him a reputation as the “defense guy” that made the Denver Nuggets’ defense a significant part of that team’s identity.

So, what happened…?  This year’s Wizards’ team had a worse record than the year before and it gave up more points.  After the season was over, both Unseld and GM Tommy Sheppard declared that defensive improvement was going to be the focus of the team during the off-season.

• Plus ça change, plus ça même chose.

The Wizards did not play well on defense this year but there was improvement if you watched the players instead of focusing on the stats.  Last year – and in several preceding years – when opponents moved the ball from side to side on offense, the Wizards defenders would stand around and observe the ball motion almost as if hypnotized by the motion.  The players on the team making the most money did not do much on defense so there was nothing in the way of an example for the rest of the team to follow when the other team had the ball.

This year, the players were active on defense; this year’s problem was that the players on the Wizards’ roster taken as a whole are just not good defensive players.  They would try to get into a position to impede an opponent; however, most of the time they were late in getting there and often when they did get into position on time, the opponent merely drove around them.

If “defensive improvement” is going to be the focus of this off season for the Wizards, I think that GM Tommy Sheppard is going to have to make some fundamental roster changes; I am not sure that the current roster is capable of playing top-shelf defense because it looked to me as if lots of them were trying to do just that in Coach Unseld’s system.

• [Aside:  The current Wizards’ roster is a “Sesame Street” roster brought to you by the letter “K”.  The Wizards employ Kristaps Porzingas, Corey Kispert, Kentavious Caldwell-Pope and the alliterative Kyle Kuzma.  All of them play here in the Nation’s Kapital.  Maybe they should try to hire “Coach K” as a konsultant?]]

Moving on …  I ran across another tidbit about the upcoming FIFA World Cup tournament in Qatar this Fall.  Evidently, the authorities there have said that they will “confiscate” any gay pride flags that show up because “homosexuality is not welcome in Qatar.”  The report I read said that male homosexuals could face up to 3 years in prison and/or punishment by lashes according to the penal code in Qatar.  Your views on that sort of punishment may vary from mine, but I think those sorts of punishments make homosexuality far more than “unwelcome” in Qatar.

From reading that report, I wonder about two things:

1. If Joe Flabeetz from somewhere other than Qatar is there to attend the matches and displays an easily recognizable gay pride flag, would he be subject to arrest and charges of homosexuality in addition to the loss of his flag?  The report I read made no mention of the degree of acceptance given to free expression in Qatar.
2. What might happen if a player on a team not from Qatar were to score a goal and in his emotive celebration, he lifted up his shirt and displayed a gay pride flag emblazoned on his undergarment?

Finally, since I mentioned some food items above that appear “questionable” to me, let me close today with an observation by famous chef, Charlie Trotter:

“Cuisine is only about making foods taste the way they are supposed to taste.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

 

 

Baseball is a different game in 2022 as compared to 1972 – – just to pick a time in the past.  Here is something that happened yesterday which caused a minor dithering in the baseball cosmos:

• Clayton Kershaw threw a perfect game through 7 innings consuming only 80 pitches striking out 13 batters in the process.
• The Dodgers led the Twins 7-0 at that point.
• Kershaw was taken out of the game.  The Dodgers managed to “hold on” and win the game 7-0.

That simply would not have happened in 1972.  There is a piece of baseball lore wherein Bob Gibson – a pitcher around the time of 1972 – was having a rough day and his catcher, Tim McCarver, went to the mound to talk to Gibson.  At that point Gibson supposedly told his teammate and long-term catcher to “Get the [bleep] off my mound!”  Imagine a time travel machine wherein it was Gibson who had that perfect game going after 7 innings with only 80 pitches was in the dugout and receiving the information that he would not be taking the [bleeping] mound at the start of the 8^th inning.  My vision of the Dodgers’ dugout under such circumstances would be one of mayhem.

By the same token, the Dodgers’ manager – or any other manager in 1972 – would never have thought of pulling a pitcher who had a perfect game cooking after 7 innings.  In all of MLB since 1900, there have only been 21 perfect games thrown which averages out to about one every 6 years; in fact, there was a 34-year period where no one tossed a perfect game.  No manager in 1972 would have done what Dave Roberts did  yesterday – – and yet, that is the prevailing thinking in baseball today.

In NFL news yesterday, the Las Vegas Raiders committed themselves to Derek Carr as their QB for the next several years at least.  Carr signed a 3-year contract extension worth $121.5M saying  that he was happy to make it “team friendly” so that the Raiders could keep other key players necessary to maintain competitiveness in the AFC West.  Carr’s present contract has 1 year left so Raider fans should not be speculating about “who will be the Raiders’ QB” for the next several years.

I would not try to make the case that Carr is the best QB in the NFL; in fact, he is not even the best QB in the AFC West.  But he does not get sufficient recognition for his talents.

• Since taking over the QB job for the Raiders in 2014, the Raiders have played 129 regular season games.  Derek Carr has started 127 of those games.
• Carr has averaged 250 yards per game over his career; his TD/INT ratio is 2.25; and he has been selected for the Pro Bowl 3 times.

There is another QB-related story cooking in the NFL.  Baker Mayfield told the host of the Ya Neva Know podcast that he feels “100% disrespected” by the Browns.  Mayfield played last year with a torn labrum in his left shoulder; he did not have a good year and the Browns missed the playoffs.  Mayfield underwent surgery immediately after the season and he says that he was told that the team was committed to him returning and being the starting QB for the Browns.  Then, the Browns went out and traded to acquire Deshaun Watson…

Here is my view of the situation in Cleveland:

• Watson – once he shakes off the rust from a year on the shelf – is a better QB that Mayfield.  The Browns upgraded – – if all you consider is the physical skills of the two players.
• The Browns spent a ton of draft capital to get Watson – then gave him a monster contract that is fully guaranteed – and it would make sense for the Browns to try to get some of that draft capital back by trading Mayfield.
• Mayfield’s comments on that podcast do not enhance his value on the trade market even a little bit.  If the Browns’ braintrust had a master plan in place to get some value for Mayfield as part of the move to acquire Watson as their QB, I think that master plan just  hit an iceberg and is taking on water.

Meanwhile over in the NBA, the speculation about who will be the new Lakers’ coach has come up to a simmer already.  I do not care to comment on the half-dozen names that have already been thrown out as potential candidates, but I do have two observations:

1. For the Lakers to get themselves a coach who is already under contract with an NBA team – – Nick Nurse and/or Quin Snyder for example – – they will need to trade for him.  The Lakers have no draft picks in 2022 and only a second round pick in 2023; that is not exactly a big enticement for the team that has a desirable coach already under contract.  Moreover, the Lakers’ roster does not have a surfeit of desirable players who might be offered to “sweeten the pot”.
2. Comments in the last couple of days by Russell Westbrook were not constructive.  In essence, he said that under the team direction fostered by Frank Vogel, he had to sacrifice some of his game in order to play to the system.   Were it not for the fact that his preferred style of play is not going to complement the styles of his other star-power teammates, one might see that as a commitment to make things a lot better next season.  However,…

Finally, today is my long-suffering wife’s birthday.  I will close today with a quip by American humorist, James Thurber, that will give you an idea of how things are in our household:

“I hate women because they always know where things are.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

 

 

There are just so many sporting events that can be presented live as they happen and there are myriad media outlets that adhere to the format of “All Sports … All The Time”.  Recognizing the two truths above means that sports media outlets must present lots and lots of “studio programming” in between the presentation of live games.  A fleeting thought went through my mind along the lines of my sitting down for a few days and watching/listening to all the programming and then commenting on it.  It took me a nanosecond to figure out that I would never make it through the first few hours of such an “assignment”, so I have been tuning in sporadically and taking notes leading to today’s commentary.

On ESPN after hours of overnight SportsCenter presentations, the network begins its day of programming with Get Up!; over at FS1, the morning offering is First Things First.  Get Up! got off to a rough start about 3 or 4 years ago with a blend of program hosts that just did not coalesce; I said at the time that ESPN made a serious mistake in ditching the successful Mike and Mike in the Morning program to create this vehicle for Mike Greenberg.  I was wrong; once the network cleared the set of extraneous folks who rarely added much to the conversation, Get Up! became informative and often entertaining at the same time.

First Things First at FS1 has also seen cast evolution over the past couple of years.  My problem with the program – – and the reason I greatly prefer Get Up! as my morning sports viewing experience – – is that I have never warmed to Nick Wright as a reporter or commentator or whatever label you prefer to put on him.  There are people in this world who are “opinionated but lovable”; to me, Nick Wright is merely “opinionated.”

Once those early morning shows are out of the way, both ESPN and FS1 sink to unwatchable depths.  The totally faux debate shows come on and either one can strain your credibility in the first 15 minutes of airtime.  On FS1, you will quickly come to realize that Shannon Sharpe and Skip Bayless would find a way to disagree over the proposition that Tuesday comes after Monday.  On ESPN, they present Stephen A. Smith bombastically dueling a tag team of debate opponents depending on the day of the week and time of the year.  It does not take long to realize that tag team of “opponents” is only there to set up Smith’s sometimes manic presentations.

• If someone were able to sit through three consecutive days watching either of those shows in its entirety, I will tip my hat to him/her as a person with greater stamina and tolerance than I possess.

In mid-day, ESPN reverts to SportsCenter notwithstanding the fact that on just about every day of the year nothing of importance has happened since the overnight SportsCenter programs wrapped up.  But over at FS1, they put Colin Cowherd on the air for 3 hours.  Colin Cowherd is interesting in small doses; if you stay with the program from start to finish, you will quickly realize that a lot of the topics repeat themselves and Cowherd’s “takes” on those issues do not change from segment to segment.  Having said that, The Herd is a lot more interesting that a cobbled together SportsCenter show.

However once SportsCenter wraps up again, ESPN puts Max Kellerman on the air for an hour with a program called This Just In.  I have no idea why the program carries that name because it rarely involves reporting on an event that just happened, but Kellerman is worth watching because he is smart, articulate and measured in his commentary.  My first inclination was to wonder why this program was only  an hour in length, but I have come to believe that it is better for Kellerman to deal with a few issues a day instead of spreading him thin over a multiplicity of topics.

When Kellerman goes off the air, ESPN goes to sports-specific studio programming on “The Mother Ship”  and has relegated Jalen and Jacoby to ESPN2.  If I want NFL studio programming, I will find it on NFL Network; if I want NBA studio programming, I will find it on NBA TV.  Jalen and Jacoby is hardly compelling TV, but I would choose it over ESPN’s afternoon offerings.

FS1 is equally unwatchable once Colin Cowherd signs off.  There was a time when Speak For Yourself featured Cowherd and Jason Whitlock; that was always interesting commentary.  When Cowherd was replaced by Marcellus Wiley, the program continued to be provocative and interesting.  When Whitlock left and was replaced by Emmanuel Acho, I lost interest – – and going back recently to see if I might rekindle that interest resulted in no change in my opinion.

At 5:00PM Eastern Time, ESPN goes with Around the Horn and then PTI.  ESPN is the better programming to start the day and it is the clear winner with its end-of-the-day programming here.  I have enjoyed both programs for a long time now and the “opposition” over at FS1 – – Fox Bet Live – – would have to improve by 200% to achieve the status of LAME!

On the radio side of things, Washington DC is a wasteland.  There are three sports stations here and the only one with consistently interesting fare is ESPN Radio.  The other two stations carry programming that ranges from juvenile to nerdy.  I have reason to hear sports radio occasionally in places like Philly, NYC and Seattle; all I can say is that fans in those cities should appreciate what they have on the air because it is far superior to what we have here in the Nation’s Capital.

I just want to make one comment about ESPN Radio’s morning program Keyshawn, JWill and Max.  When this program began with Zubin Mehenti on the air instead of Max Kellerman, the show was disjointed.  Keyshawn Johnson was loud and random in his comments; Zubin Mehenti came across as a “fanboy”; Jay Williams either could not get a word in edgewise or chose not to say much.  I did not like the program at all.

Today, Keyshawn Johnson has grown into the role of a studio host who has opinions but who also asks questions about things where he may not be an “expert”.  Jay Williams found his voice and contributes significantly to the program.  Max Kellerman is a more interesting contributor that Mehenti was.  This program is worth dropping in on; I would not have said that 3 years ago.

Finally, since most of today has dealt with television programming, let me close with three observations about television:

“Television – a medium.  So called because it is neither rare nor well done.”  Ernie Kovacs

And …

“I must say I find television very educational.  The very minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.”  Groucho Marx

And …

“Television is now so desperately hungry for material that they’re scraping the top of the barrel.”  Gore Vidal

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

 

 

The Houston Astros’ sign-stealing scandal happened in 2017 and 2018; the ramifications of those events continue to reverberate in MLB.  As a quick reset here, stealing opponents’ signs in baseball has been part of the game for at least a hundred years but what the Astros did was to apply technology available to them in their home stadium to give them an edge in knowing what sort of pitch was coming before it left the pitcher’s hand.  The key element there is that the Astros could get an edge that was not available to the opponent.

If Team A is stealing Team B’s signs based on carelessness by Team B or if Team A has figured out Team B’s signs because they have not changed them in a month or so, that would seem to be fair play.  Team A’s advantage arises here from Team B’s ineptitude and few people would argue that ineptitude is something to be protected or nurtured.  The “distortion” of the playing field is real, but it seems to be tolerable.

But the Astros introduced technology into the mode of sign-stealing and that offended lots of people even those beyond the ones who are the guardians of the purity of the game.  MLB issued punishments and temporary banishments which seemed fair given the “crime” that was committed – – but how to prevent the next round of scandal.  After all, knowing what the next pitch is going to be prior to its delivery is a tasty morsel for anyone in the batter’s box.

Since technology was the culprit in the escalation of this scandal to Brobdingnagian proportion, it appears that MLB will turn to technology as the way to thwart any such recurrence.  Starting this year, teams may opt to use a small radio transmitter/receiver that originates from the catcher and is received by the pitcher – and possibly infielders too – that will tell the defenders what the next pitch is going to be.  That means the catcher will not need to wiggle his fingers in his crotch area to communicate with the pitcher and potentially with the middle infielders who can share that signal among themselves and their teammates.

The system here has been developed by a company called “PitchCom”; it was tested in the minor leagues last year and was used in some of the Spring Training games this year.  Teams will not be required to use PitchCom, but they can choose to do so in MLB games starting this year.  Most of the reporting related to PitchCom seems to take the position that it puts to bed any possibility of a recurring scandal.  However, consider for a moment this observation by Dwight Perry in the Seattle Times:

“Major League Baseball has OK’d the use of ‘PitchCom,’ an electronic device in which a catcher can signal pitches — pitch type and location — directly to the pitcher through a listening device.

“However, MLB denied the Astros’ request to park an AWACs truck next to the dugout.”

Professor Perry is at his snarkiest best in that commentary, but his snark reveals a truth.  If a “radio signal” is used to transmit information, that “radio signal” is subject to being intercepted.  Even if the “radio signal” is coded in some way, it is subject to “intercept and deciphering”.  PitchCom is much more “secure” than finger-wagging, but if anyone believes that PitchCom is invulnerable, I suggest that they are living in a delusion.

While I may not be completely convinced about PitchCom’s security over the long term, I suspect that it will be secure in the short term until someone figures out how to intercept the signal, and relay that information to the batter who is not authorized to have a receiver on his person in the batter’s box.  I see another positive aspect of PitchCom as well; it should allow for teams that use it to increase the pace of play.  Fewer confabs between pitcher and catcher – – the ones carried out with gloves strategically placed over their mouths to defeat lip readers – – allow for more action in less time.  Moreover, sending the signal and recognizing what it is and what it means should be faster using PitchCom; so, in theory, there might be a little less time between pitches.

I do not think that this technological introduction is going to harken the return of the 2-hour baseball game, but it might make things move along at a bit spritelier pace.  We shall see…

Someone said that one of the great things about going to a baseball game is that you just might see something you have never seen before.  Such was probably the case for fans who went to see LSU play Florida in Gainesville, FL on March 27^th.   LSU won the game 11-2 and a glance at the box score for the game might give you the thought that the Florida pitching staff was working hand in glove with the LSU hitters.  Consider:

• The Gators’ pitchers did not walk even one batter in the game.
• The Gators’ pitchers managed to hit 8 LSU batters with a pitch.
• All 8 of those batters who got a free base from the pitchers came around to score.

LSU outfielder, Gavin Dugas was hit by a pitch in three consecutive plate appearances in the game.  Dugas seems to specialize in getting plunked; as of this morning he has been hit by a pitch 13 times in 77 at bats in the 2022 season.  Those 13 free bases contribute significantly to Dugas’ OBP of .544 for the season.  Messr. Dugas seems to have a magnetic attraction for pitches; in the 2021 season he was hit by a pitch 18 times.  It is a good thing for Dugas that his sport is baseball; were he a track and field athlete, he might express his talents as a javelin catcher.

Finally, let me close today with a definition from The Official Dictionary of Sarcasm:

“Joe Six-Pack:  A generic term for the average citizen.  Yet, its image of a beer-bellied, brain-dead sloth lying gelatinously on a sagging couch with his pants open and guzzling a half dozen Old Milwaukees between explosive belches has somehow attainted a negative connotation.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

 

 

Almost 6 months ago in October 2021, the NBA regular season began.  After enduring 1,230 regular season games – most of which had little to no significance – fans can now expect to see a better brand of basketball during playoff time.  That is the positive NBA news of the moment, but there is a negative story out there that will likely not get nearly as much play as it should.

There are reports this morning that the LA Lakers are going to “part company” with coach Frank Vogel.  That makes about as much sense as firing the Director of Public Safety in LA in the event that a meteorite impacts the downtown area and obliterates the LA City Hall.  When you try to assess blame for the embarrassing fact that the Lakers will be sitting home watching these NBA playoffs, you have to go down the list a bit before you come to Vogel’s name.  I am not saying he is blameless, but there are other “culprits” who will likely get a pass here as Vogel is sacrificed to the angry Laker fans who have come to see deep playoff runs by their team as a birthright.

As is usually the case when a team has a bad season, a large measure of the blame ought to fall on the players and the folks who constructed the roster – – but it rarely seems to do so.  Last year when the Lakers traded for Russel Westbrook, there were lots of folks who wondered how it would be possible for Westbrook and LeBron James to be on the court together without each one detracting from the other’s strength.  There is only one ball in an NBA game and both James and Westbrook are at their All-Star best when they control the ball to create scoring chances for themselves or for teammates.  When someone else is controlling the ball and developing the plays, either James or Westbrook morph into just one of the many ornaments on a Christmas tree as opposed to being the star atop the tree.

Add to that compatibility issue the fact that the Lakers roster is old and fragile.  The youngest of its star players, Anthony Davis, cannot seem to avoid injuries.  Since joining the Lakers three seasons ago, the Lakers have played 235 regular season games; Anthony Davis has participated in 138 of those games.

• Anthony Davis has missed a tad over 40% of the games on the Lakers’ schedule.
• Is Frank Vogel the source of those injuries in some mysterious way?

I am not trying to say that Frank Vogel is a great coach; I maintain that the Lakers’ roster is a glorious mess and that it will not be any better next year unless one of two things happens:

1. The Lakers find a team willing to take Westbrook’s contract off their hands.  [Aside:  The contract has one year left at $47.1M.]
2. Russell Westbrook decides to retire from the NBA

For the record, I think “Option 2” above is about as likely as Forest Gump being admitted to MENSA.  So, good luck to whoever gets the honor of replacing Frank Vogel on the Lakers’ bench.  The pay will be nice, but you will have to navigate that roster through a full NBA season with expectations that an appearance in the NBA Finals is at least a 50/50 proposition.

Phil Jackson left the Lakers after the 2010/2011 season.  Since then, the Lakers have had 5 head coaches plus one interim head coach.  That speaks to the expectations and the long-range planning aspects of working there.  Here is a brief look at the Lakers’ roster situation in the future:

• Unless Westbrook retires, the Lakers have just about no cap space.
• Without cap space, the Lakers are hamstrung in signing significant free agents
• Without meaningful free agents arriving, the Lakers’ depth continues to be a mirage.
• In all the team’s maneuverings over the past couple of years, the Lakers next first round draft pick will be in either 2025 or 2026 and in this year’s draft, the Lakers have zero picks.

So, here is my message for the agent who represents anyone who might be under consideration for the Lakers’ head coaching job over the next month or so:

• If the deal is longer than 3 or 4 years, be sure there is a full buyout clause in that contract – – because your client’s chances of surviving in the job for 5 years or more are meager at best.

Moving on…  I found the following item in Dwight Perry’s column in the Seattle Times over the weekend:

“The Oakland A’s have the same payroll — $33 million — as they did in 1991, when they led the major leagues, according to Jon Heyman of MLB Network.

“If this year’s team inspires a movie, it’s probably ‘No-Moneyball.’”

That “inspired” me to go looking and I found that indeed the Oakland A’s payroll in 1991 was $33.63M AND that payroll was the highest in MLB for that season.  José Canseco was the highest paid player on the A’s that year; other notable team members were:

• Harold Baines
• Ron Darling
• Dennis Eckersley
• Rickey Henderson
• Mark McGwire
• Terry Steinbach
• Dave Stewart
• Walt Weiss

Times have changed since 1991.  The A’s are no longer among the big spenders in MLB; and if you look at those players on the roster and project what they would cost in their prime today, you can see what a “bargain” it was to pay the team a total of only $33.63M back then.

Finally, since I quoted Dwight Perry above, let me close with another item of his from the Seattle Times:

“SiriusXM fired PGA Tour Radio analyst Mark Lye after he said on-air ‘I’ll shoot myself’ rather than watch a WNBA game.

“Now they call him Unplayable Lye.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

 

 

             A friend who is a sporadic reader of these rants happened to read yesterday’s offering and called me to ask why I had left Max Scherzer off my list of recognizable players in new uniforms.  He wondered if I “have something against Scherzer”.  I assured him that I did not and that I left Scherzer off the list because his situation seems to me to be different.  Granted everyone on that list signed with teams that offered top dollar for their services, but Scherzer’s contract is outsized even by those standards.  Scherzer’s deal is 3 years and $130M.  He will make – on average – $43.3M per year to make what the Mets hope is 30-35 starts per season.  I should not need to do math for anyone here…

Max Scherzer won the Cy Young Award 3 times in his career and will be a shoo-in for the Hall of Fame down the road.  But he will be 37 years old in mid-season and last year he had to miss playoff time with a “dead arm” followed by a hamstring tweak this Spring.  I fear that Scherzer’s contract is one that the Mets are going to regret instead of celebrating.

While that may also be the case with the four players I listed yesterday, I think it is more probable in Scherzer’s case; so, I left him off the list.  I will be happy to be wrong about that…

Sticking with baseball as a subject, there was a report in the Washington Post yesterday that the “spending gap” between MLB’s big spending teams and MLB’s frugal teams is increasing.  Obviously, that gap works against creating parity in MLB and it was – reportedly – one of the important areas for change in the new CBA from the union’s point of view.  A preliminary glance says that the union did not get much of a change here.

• In 2017 the median payroll for the top 8 spenders in MLB was 2.3 times the median payroll of the bottom 8 spenders in MLB.
• In 2021, that ratio was 3 to 1.
• For 2022, that ratio is projected to be 4 to 1.

The reason is not that the big-spending teams have gone wild – – notwithstanding Max Scherzer’s $43.3M per year deal with the Mets.  The reason is that there are more frugal teams, and they are being even more frugal than before.

• In 2017 the lowest spending team (Brewers) had a total payroll of $68.9M and only 5 other teams spent below $100M on player salaries.
• In 2022, the lowest spending team (Orioles) will spend about $33M in salaries and there should be 10 teams that will spend less than $100 M.

The upshot here is not good for the game nor is it good for the players in the long run.  However, the two sides just emerged from a CBA battle that included a lockout and a delayed start to the regular season with this imbalance in place and with no progress being made to address it.  Let me repeat something I have advocated here before:

• Competitive balance – parity in the parlance of the NFL – is enhanced when there are comparable payrolls on all teams in the league.
• MLB owners have found that they can make a profit without spending a lot of money on salaries, so they are motivated to do just that.  Max Scherzer did not have a competing contract offer close to his final number from teams like the Pirates, Orioles or Royals.  I am not saying anyone here is either “right” or “wrong”, I am just saying there are teams that were not interested in spending that kind of money on a single player.
• The system that has shown itself to work to achieve competitive balance is what I call “Cap and Floor”.  There needs to be a salary cap in MLB (the union hates that) AND there needs to be a salary floor in MLB (about a dozen owners hate that).

The Cap and Floor model works for the NFL and the NBA and the NHL.  That does not mean it would certainly work in MLB – – but the odds are that it can be made to work to the benefit of owners and the majority of players who are not ever going to make more than $40M per year to play baseball.

According to Spotrac.com, the Cubs have the 15^th highest payroll for 2022 at $141.8M and the Rockies are 16^th highest at $137.9M.  For the sake of argument – and to simplify the math – let me assume that the median payroll in $140M.  If every team spent $140MK, the total payroll cost for MLB owners would be $4.2B.  There is plenty of money to go around here but instead of having the Dodgers support a payroll north of $270M while the Orioles would have to open their wallets to spend $35M, a cap and floor would force both teams to compete on a much more level playing field.  Whatever…

There was one other interesting piece in yesterday’s Washington Post addressing an issue related to The Masters.  Chuck Culpepper is an excellent reporter and writer for the Post and yesterday’s article had this headline:

“Walking Augusta National, Woods faces an uphill battle”

The piece dealt with the challenge to Tiger Woods’ surgically repaired leg posed by the “undulating terrain” of Augusta National.  What a great irony here:

• If only there were some technological invention that would allow Tiger Woods to get from place to place on the golf course without having to walk up and down those hills that could threaten his game.
• Perhaps Tiger Woods should get in touch with his former teammate at Stanford, Casey Martin, to see if Martin knows of any such magical device…

Finally, I will close today with some dating advice for young singles:

“If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

 

 

Glancing out the window of Curmudgeon Central here in the Virginia suburbs of Washington DC, it is drizzling, and the total cloud cover is at about 3000 feet; it is a dreary day.  According to the weather app on my phone, the current temperature is 47 degrees; it will go up to 54 degrees today and the probability of rain is greater than 70% for the rest of today and into tonight.  I mention this not because it is important; I mention this because today is the day that I personally call the “First Day of Spring” – – because today is Opening Day in MLB.  So, today I want to present some random thoughts about the upcoming baseball season.

The beauty of Opening Day is that all 30 teams in MLB have a “magic number” equal to 162…

Two players should reach statistical milestones this year:

1. Miguel Cabrera enters the season with 2,987 base hits to his credit.  He may not be the hitter he was 5 years ago, but he should make it to the 3000 base hit level sometime soon.
2. Albert Pujols needs 21 home runs in what he says is his final season to become only the fourth player in MLB history to hit 700 home runs.  The other three are – of course – Barry Bonds, Henry Aaron and Babe Ruth.  Last year, Pujols had 17 home runs in only 85 games.

There are four  “recognizable players” who will be in new uniforms this year:

1. Kris Bryant will be in Colorado having signed a long-term deal worth $162M.  I was surprised at that offer by the Rockies given that they had Nolan Arenado signed to play third base for them and traded him away – – and they let Trevor Story walk away in free agency.
2. Freddie Freeman is now with the Dodgers after spending the first 12 years of his career in Atlanta.  The Braves sought to replace his bat in the lineup by acquiring Matt Olsen from the A’s.
3. Robbie Ray won the Cy Young Award last year with the Blue Jays – – after having a disastrous truncated season in 2020 – – and then signed on with the Mariners on a 5-year deal.
4. Noah Syndergaard had Tommy John surgery and then suffered “elbow inflammation” limiting him to two innings pitched since 2019.  He signed a 1-year “prove it” deal with the Angels for this season.  He will be 29 years old in mid-season; if his arm is right, he could be a top free agent next winter.

The Atlanta Braves will be an interesting team to watch this year and not just because they are the defending World Series Champions.  The Braves had a bizarre season in 2021.  They were at or below .500 until early August; at that point in the season, they had lost their best player, Ronald Acuna, Jr.; they looked dead in the water.  So, all they did was to go on a two-month rampage to win their division by 6.5 games and go on to sweep through the playoffs and win the World Series.  By the way, Acuna will not be available on Opening Day as he continues his rehab, but reports say he should be up and ready to go early in the season.

Speaking of the Braves, there was a report on CBSSports.com earlier this week that they will offer fans a special burger at the park this year to commemorate last year’s championship season.  Here is a link to the full report; I will just quote a part of that report here:

“For a staggering $151 – a price reflecting the number of years the Braves have been a franchise – fans can buy ‘The World Champions Burger,’ a ‘half-pound Wagyu beef burger topped with cage-free pan-fried eggs, gold-leaf-wrapped Hudson Valley foie gras, grilled cold water lobster tail, heirloom tomato, bibb lettuce, Tillamook Cheddar cheese and truffle aioli on a toasted, Irish-buttered brioche bun.’  All purchases of the burger include a replica 2021 World Series ring – and Parmesan waffle fries, of course.”

The American League East Division is loaded this year – – save for the Orioles of course who have lost 108 or more games in each of the last 3 full seasons of baseball.  Given the rest of the AL East teams, you can pretty much pencil the Orioles in as “Eliminated” from the playoffs as of tomorrow.  In fact, if you list the teams in the AL East alphabetically by their cities you just might have the final standings of the division at the end of the season in reverse order:

• Baltimore
• Boston
• New York
• Tampa
• Toronto

There are three wildcard slots available for the playoffs this year.   Were it not for the fact that these AL East teams will beat each other up during the season, it might just be that the top four teams in that division could make the playoffs.

Here are a few random and brief observations:

• Astros look like the class of the AL West – – especially if Justin Verlander can return and resemble his former self.
• Mariners won 90 games last year; that performance came out of nowhere.  Was it a mirage or is this team poised to be a playoff team in 2022?
• Padres folded last year after looking like a shoo-in for the playoffs in early August.  Can they put that 79-83 horrible record behind them for 2022?
• White Sox lost several of their best players for over a hundred games to injury – – and all they did in 2021 was to win the AL Central by13 game as the only team there better than .500.  Absent more injuries, I think the White Sox might be playing very late into October this year…

Finally, Opening Day for MLB presents fans everywhere with hope for their local heroes.  So let me close with this view of “hope” from Nietzsche:

“Hope in reality is the worst of all evils, because it prolongs the torments of man.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

 

 

The Los Angeles Lakers are officially eliminated as of this morning from the 2022 NBA Playoffs.  Last night the Lakers lost – not surprisingly – by 11 points to the Phoenix Suns, a team that has now won 63 games in this regular season.  That loss coupled by the Spurs win over a favored Denver Nuggets team last night eliminates the Lakers and cements the Spurs in the NBA playoffs as the 10^th seed in the Western Conference bracket.  I would like to suggest that this outcome could be a plus for the Lakers – – and not because it puts them in the lottery where they might get the overall #1 pick in the Draft later this year.

The roster for the Lakers now is a cobbling together of mismatched parts; it more closely resembles Frankenstein’s monster than even a poorly oiled machine.  Let me count some of the problems with the Lakers’ roster:

1. The roster skews old; 8 players are 32 years old or older.
2. The roster is injury prone.
3. The top players on the roster do not fit with one another – and probably did not even when all were in their prime.
4. The bench is a mirage – – unless one turns back the clock to 2014

The Lakers spend about $120M in base salary for LeBron James, Russell Westbrook and Anthony Davis; no other player on the team earns $10M and 13 players earn less than $2.7M per year.  Every NBA team has a huge disparity between its most expensive players and the “guys at the end of the bench”, but this imbalance is monumental.  [Aside:  Some politicians love to bloviate about “income inequality”.  Next time you hear about that, just remember these numbers.]  The Lakers need a complete restructuring of the roster but do not have a lot of wiggle room – – unless the “folks in charge” can put their egos aside and admit that they got themselves into Gargantuan mess when they cobbled together this team.  Just maybe, the ignominy of finishing 11^th in the 15-team Western Conference with the likes of the Rockets, Thunder and Kings will get the “folks in charge” to blow this roster up and start over.

I would suggest that the braintrust for the Lakers should ponder this observation by the author, Anatole France:

“It is human nature to think wisely and act foolishly.”

Next time, act less foolishly…

Moving on…  For the last year or so, the sports world had been missing one of its great “drama queens”; not to worry, however, Tiger Woods is back.  After teasing the “sports journalists” who cover golf for about a week on the subject of would he play in The Masters or not, Woods finally ‘fessed up and told everyone he would indeed tee off tomorrow morning and gave the media the news they so desperately needed to report:

• Woods thinks he can contend for a 6^th Masters championship.

Obviously, no one knows what the state of Woods’ game might be this weekend; his last tournament appearance was in the 2020 Masters which was held in the late Fall that year because of COVID-19 concerns.  Maybe he is “rested and ready”; maybe he is “rusty and rotten”; there is no need to speculate about such things because we will all find out pretty soon when the scores come in for the first two days of The Masters.  Notwithstanding that certain status, you may be sure that the cameras covering the tournament will be focused on Tiger Woods from the moment he comes out of the clubhouse and onto the course.  If he stops to pick his nose, there will be a video record of that somewhere.

Lest you think I am exaggerating, here is an item from Dwight Perry in the Seattle Times about the coverage of Tiger Woods in the last week or so as he was leading the golf media around by the nose:

“If you’re wondering about who still moves the needle in golf,” tweeted golf analyst Jason Sobel, “Scottie Scheffler became No. 1 in the world a few days ago and didn’t trend on Twitter, while Tiger Woods took a plane ride today and has been trending all morning.”

Changing lanes – – while using my turn signal…  Thanksgiving in the US this year will take place on November 24^th.  Four things are certain for that day:

1. Lots of turkey and ham will be consumed.
2. The Detroit Lions will play an NFL opponent in the early afternoon EST.
3. The Dallas Cowboys will play an NFL opponent in the last afternoon EST.
4. There will be another NFL game (Teams TBD) in prime time EST.

However, there is one other sporting endeavor that will be in progress on November 24^th that could divert some attention from the NFL orgy that day.  The FIFA World Cup Tournament in Qatar will be in its first round of games on that day; there are 4 games scheduled for Thanksgiving.  Fortunately, the US team’s first game – – against England – – will be on November 25^th so there will be no division of interest on Thanksgiving Day.

Lest anyone worry that watching the US/England World Cup Game might cut into significant time thrashing about on Black Friday looking for deals on things one really does not need, let me try to assuage those worries.  If my calculations are correct, Qatar is 7 hours ahead of Eastern Standard Time – – so the US/England game starting at 1400 in Qatar will be on TV here in the eastern time zone at 0700.  No problem…

Finally, apropos of nothing other than my appreciation of H. L. Mencken as the quintessential curmudgeon, consider:

“It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods.  If such a board actually exists, it operates precisely like the board of a corporation that is losing money.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………