Fun With Players’ Names

Many US sports fans today are in the midst of researching their bracket picks.  I have spent my time researching what has become an annual event here in Curmudgeon Central – – taking a light look at players’ names on the 68 NCAA men’s basketball tournament teams.  I believe I have an entry below for at least one player from every team; I certainly would not want to be accused of snubbing any team in my process.

To begin let me point out four players whose names are Complete Sentences:

1. Gavin Burns – – Longwood
2. Chase Hunter – – Clemson
3. Chase Martin – – Purdue
4. Chase Ross – – Marquette

My first name category will be Alliterative Names.  On this list, there are five examples of an alliterative trifecta.  I continue to look for an alliterative superfecta simply because I have never found one.  Every year, I begin my search for something like:

• Billie Bob Boston – – Brown – – or – –
• Tommy Tooter – – Texas Tech

That search will have to continue next year but in the meantime consider:

• Achor Achor – – Samford
• Ali Ali – – Akron – – Trifecta
• Andrew Alia – – Drake
• Al Amadou – – Marquette
• Atiki Ally Atike – – BYU (Trifecta)
• Alex Anamekwe – – Texas
• Avery Anderson III – – TCU
• Brooks Barnheizer – – Northwestern
• Brycen Blaine – – JMU
• Brent Bland – – St. Peter’s
• Buddy Boyer – – Samford
• Ben Bryson – – UVA
• Boo Buie – – Northwestern
• Cameron Carr – – Tennessee
• Coen Carr – – Michigan St.
• Chris Carter – – Kansas
• Chris Conway – – Oakland
• Colin Coyne – – Tennessee
• Cooper Craggs – – Oakland
• Dain Dainja – – Illinois
• Dylan Darling – – Washington St.
• Donovan Dent – – New Mexico St.
• Dylan Disu – – Texas
• David Dixon – – Duquesne (Trifecta)
• Damian Dunn – – Houston
• Francisco Farabello – – Creighton
• Greg Gearhardt – – Colorado
• Jalen Jackson – – W. Kentucky
• Javon Jackson – – Utah St.
• Jack Janicky – – Wisconsin
• Jadon Jones – – Long Beach St.
• Josiah-Jordan James – – Tennessee (Trifecta)
• Joshua Jefferson – – St. Mary’s
• Jack Johnson – – Florida Atlantic
• Jalen Johnson – – Grambling
• Javonte Johnson – – Colorado St.
• Kobe Knox – – USF
• Kajus Kublikas – – Florida
• Keaton Kutcher – – Illinois
• Langston Love – – Baylor
• Mason Miller – – Creighton
• Matt Mimms – – S. Dakota St.
• Mark Mitchell – – Duke
• Milan Momcilovic – – Iowa St.
• Maddox Monson – – Long Beach St.
• Michael Mora – – Vermont
• Matthew Mors – – S. Dakota St.
• Ose Okojie – – Howard
• Petras Padegimas – – Dayton
• Presley Patterson – – Auburn
• Ryan Raad – – San Diego St.
• Royce Robinson – – Montana St.
• Shammah Scott – – Akron
• Seth Sigmon – – UAB
• Sean Stewart – – Duke
• Stephan Swenson – – Stetson (Trifecta)
• Treyton Thompson – – Stetson
• Tony Toney – – UAB
• Trey Townsend – – Oakland
• Townsend Tripple – – BYU
• Warren Washington – – Texas Tech
• William Whorton – – S. Dakota St.
• Zakai Ziegler – – Tennessee

My next category is  Back-and-Forth Names – – ones that would seem normal if the first name and the surname were reversed such as:

• Harrison Alexander – – Mississippi St.
• Trey Alexander – – Creighton
• Quincy Allen – – JMU
• Jaden Bradley – – Arizona
• Jack Francis – – Texas Tech
• Ja’Vier Francis – – Houston
• Keshon Gilbert – – Iowa St.
• Ben Gregg – – Gonzaga
• Justin Harmon – – Illinois
• Rodney Howard – – W. Kentucky
• Isaac Jack – – Dayton
• Tre Norman – – Marquette
• Marcus Randolph – – St. Peter’s
• Will Richard – – Florida
• Cormac Ryan – – UNC
• Tyrese Samuel – – Florida
• Miles Stewart – – Howard
• Trey Stuart – – TCU
• Kalil Thomas – – Morehead St.
• Shane Thomas – – Creighton
• Ja’Kobe Walter – – Baylor

Next up are player names that remind us of former US Presidents:

• KJ Adams, Jr. – – Kansas
• Carter Ash – – Montana St.
• Jackson Cook – – Arizona
• Dallin Grant – – Utah St.
• Jackson Grant – – Utah St.  (A Presidential doubleheader)
• Cyncier Harrison – – Stetson
• Graham Ike – – Gonzaga
• Harrison Ingram – – UNC
• Elmarko Jackson – – Kansas
• D.J. Jefferson – – Tennessee
• Kordelius Jefferson – – Houston
• Andre Johnson, Jr. – – UConn
• KD Johnson – – Auburn
• Keshad Johnson – – Arizona
• Tyler Kolek – – Marquette
• Grant Nelson – – Alabama
• Tyler Patterson – – Montana St.
• Aundre Polk – – Oakland
• Carter Sobera – – Auburn
• Corey Washington – – St. Peter’s
• Jalen Washington – – UNC

Some players’ names create an Artist’s Pallette:

• Cameron Brown – — Marquette
• Darius Brown II – – Utah St.
• Xavier Brown – – JMU
• Josh Gray – – S. Carolina
• Jasen Green – – Creighton
• Michael Green III – – JMU
• Brandon White – – Texas A&M

The names of five players imply Nobility or Peerage:

• Josiah Dotzler – – Creighton
• Fredrick King – – Creighton
• Sam King – – Purdue
• Tre King – – Iowa St.
• Jackson Prince – – Texas

Some names call to mind Places:

• Devon Arlington – – Yale
• Devin Cambridge – – Texas Tech
• Brennan Canada – – Kentucky
• Grant Darbyshire – – Kentucky
• Dallas Graziani – – Samford
• DA Houston – – Longwood
• Denver Jones – – Auburn
• Andrew Meadow – – Boise St.
• Austin Sacks – – Baylor
• Saxby Sunderland – – Longwood

A goodly number of players’ names have a Biblical Connection:

• Samson Aletan – – Yale
• Noah Amenhauser – – Grand Canyon
• Solomon Ball – – UConn
• Luke Champion – – Arizona
• Michael Christmas – – Longwood
• Christian Coleman – – UAB
• Justin Cross – – Kansas
• Aaron Deloney – – Vermont
• Noah Friedel – – JMU
• Luke Goode – – Illinois
• Jaffrey Grace III – – Nebraska
• Luke Haertle – – Wisconsin
• Micah Handlogten – – Florida
• Samson Johnson – – UConn
• Isaac Jones – – Washington St.
• Enoch Kalambay – – W. Kentucky
• Jonah Lucas – – Marquette
• Jacob McFarland – – Houston
• Micah Parrish – – San Diego St.
• Christian Reeves – – Duke
• Elijah Saunders – – San Diego St
• Isaiah Shaw – – Grand Canyon
• Malachi Smith – – Dayton
• Evan Solomon – – Oakland
• Joshua Strong – – Howard
• Messiah Thompson – – Long Beach St.
• Isaac Traudt – – Creighton
• Seth Trimble – – UNC
• Elijah Tucker – – Longwood
• Noah Waterman – – BYU
• Isaiah Watts – – Washington St.

Some players’ names make me wonder if the player is related to Someone Else who is Famous:

• Kyle Carlisemo – – Colgate – – He IS the son of PJ Carlisemo!
• Patrick Cassidy – – Kansas – – Hopalong’s nephew?
• Roy Clarke – – St. Peter’s – – Did your uncle host Hee Haw?
• David Joplin – – Marquette – – Janis’ long-lost son?
• Hayden Hefner – – Texas A&M – – Hugh’s heir?
• Chuck Hepburn – – Wisconsin – – Audrey’s grandson?
• Jackson Huxtable – – Stetson – – From The Cosby Show?
• Connor Kraft – – S. Dakota St. – – Your family invented mayonnaise?
• Rob Landry – – UNC – – Your granddad coached the Cowboys?
• Spencer Mahoney – – Washington St. – – Paul Winchell’s sidekick?
• Jamal Mashburn Jr. – – New Mexico – – Saw your Dad play for Kentucky.
• Dillon Mitchell – – Texas – – Related to the US Marshall in Dodge City?
• Tristan Newton – – UConn – – Descendant of Sir Isaac?
• Gehrig Normand – – Michigan St. – – Shouldn’t you play baseball?
• Charlie McCarthy – – Kansas – – Edgar Bergan’s sidekick?
• Christian Shumate – – McNeese – – Did your dad play for Notre Dame?
• Nicholas Timberlake – – Kansas – – Justin’s younger brother?
• Isiah Warfield – – Howard – – Your grandfather played for the Miami Dolphins?
• Demarion Watson – – Iowa St. – – Your uncle hung out with Sherlock Holmes?
• Jaden Webb – – Morehead St. – – Your dad starred on Dragnet?
• Julian Wooden – – JMU – – Did your father coach UCLA?

I have an extensive list of players whose names might just Foretell Their Future Careers:

• Marvel Allen – – Dayton – – Comic book artist
• Steven Ashworth – – Creighton – – Chimney sweep
• Dawson Baker – – BYU – – Obviously …
• Xavier Banks – – Oakland – – Financier
• DeAirius Barker – – Charleston – – Dog trainer
• Patrick Bath – – Drake – – Plumber
• Omaha Biliew – – Iowa St. – – Steak house operator
• Stanley Borden – – Duke – – Dairy farmer
• Churchill Bounds – – Wagner – – British MP
• Johni Broome – – Auburn – – Home cleaning services provider
• Jalen Bridges – – Baylor – – Civil engineer
• Miles Byrd – – San Diego St. – – Ornithologist
• Colby Brooks – – Gonzaga – – Cheese monger
• Lucas Clanton – – Auburn – – OK Corral gunfight reenactor
• Donovan Clingan – – UConn – – Star Trek actor
• Mookie Cook – – Oregon – – Chef
• Ta’Lon Cooper – – S. Carolina – – Barrell maker
• Xavier Cork – – TCU – – Wine maker
• N’Faly Dante – – Oregon – – Poet
• Hunter Dickinson – – Kansas – – Nah … too easy
• Jaylen Dorsey – – W. Kentucky – – Band leader
• Kobe Elvis – – Dayton – – Crooning basketball player of course
• Wesley Fields – – McNeese – – Farmer
• Kayden Fish – – Iowa St. – – Deep sea angler
• Mason Forbes – – St. Mary’s – – Magazine editor

[Aside:  Mason Forbes’ grandfather, Spencer Forbes, played for the Harlem Globetrotters back in the 1960s.  This apple did not fall far from the tree.]

• Robert Ford III – – Montana St. – – Automotive engineer
• Trey Fort – – Mississippi St. – – Commanding officer
• Jazz Gardner – – Nevada – – Outdoors musician
• Kyron Gibson – – Drake – – Guitarist
• Ben Gold – – Marquette – – Mining engineer
• Joey Hart – – Kentucky – – Transplant surgeon
• Rory Hawke – – St. Mary’s – – Falconer
• Zayden High – – UNC – – Secondary school principal
• Walker Horn – – Kentucky – – Band leader
• DJ Horne – – NC State – – A Dee Jay obviously
• Jaelen House – – New Mexico – – Real estate developer
• Dillon Hunter – – Clemson – – Anything but a “gatherer”
• Tone Hunter – – Oakland – – Musician
• Jaxon Kohler – – Michigan St. – – Plumber
• Chandler Leopard – – Samford – – Safari leader
• Julius Marble – – Texas A&M – – Sculptor
• Walyn Napper – – Longwood – – Mattress tester
• Eric Northweather – – Drake – – Meteorologist
• Breon Pass – – NC State – – NFL QB
• Jack Payne – – Colorado St. – – Physical therapist
• Tylan Pope – – Nevada – – Theologian
• TL Power – – Duke – – Linesman
• Nick Pringle – – Alabama – – Potato chip mogul
• Keegan Records – – Colgate – – Music producer
• Freedom Rhames – – Howard – – Parole officer
• DJ Richards, Jr. – – McNeese – – Another Dee Jay obviously
• Jeremy Roach – – Duke – – Exterminator
• JT Rock – – Iowa St. – – Sculptor
• Juliana Roper II – – Northwestern – – Rodeo athlete
• Emmanual Sharp – – Houston – – Musician
• Atticus Schuler – – Dayton – – Criminal defense lawyer
• Patrick Shelley – – UVA – – Poet
• Jackson Skipper – – Vermont – – Sailboat captain
• Cam Spencer – – UConn – – Auto mechanic
• Trevian Tennyson – – TCU – – Poet Laureate
• Brock Vice – – Creighton – – Police detective
• Kerwin Walton – – Texas Tech – – Angler
• Rocket Watts – – Oakland – – Astronaut
• Thomas Weaver – – Howard – – Rug merchant
• Shahada Wells – – McNeese – – Wildcat oil driller
• Jae’Lyn Withers – – UNC – – Thoroughbred horse trainer
• Kam Woods – – NC State – – Carpenter
• Freddie Word – – Charleston – – Author

And I have saved for last a compendium of players’ names that probably cause Nightmares For Copy Editors at newspapers around the country – – and maybe tangle the tongue for an announcer or two also:

• Deraje Agbaosi – – New Mexico
• Max Agbonkpolo – – Utan St.
• Ileri Ayo-Faleye – – Vermont
• Lav Cvetkovic – – UVA
• Ebrima Dibba – – S. Carolina
• Kymany Houinsou – – Washington St.
• Oso Ighodaro – – Marquette
• Zvonimir Ivisic – – Kentucky
• Andrej Jakimovski – – Washington St.
• Veikka Koivisto – – Charleston
• Tuburu Naivalurua – – Oakland
• Michel Ndayishimiye – – Vermont
• Yanis Ndjonga – – Baylor
• Chilaydrien Newton – – Grambling
• Shaumba Ngoyi – – Long Beach St.
• Emeka Nnaji – – Grambling
• Zimi Nwokeji – – Dayton
• Josh Ojianwuna – – Baylor
• Ze’Rik Onyema – – Texas
• Ugonna Onyenso – – Kentucky
• Jackson Paveletzke – – Iowa St.
• Ayodele Taiwo – – Howard
• Jonathan Tchamwatchoua – – Baylor
• Fousseyni Traore – – BYU
• Obinna Ugwuakazi – – Charleston
• Szymon Zapala – – Longwood

Finally, I’ll close with these remarks about names from a few folks far more famous than I:

“Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.”  (Oscar Wilde)

And …

“Always forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.”  (Robert F. Kennedy)

And …

“I shall write a book some day about the appropriateness of names.  Geoffrey Chaucer has a ribald ring as is proper and correct, and Alexander Pope was inevitably Alexander Pope.  Colley Cibber was a silly little man without much elegance and Shelley was very Percy and very Bysshe.”  (James Joyce)

            But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………