Sex And The Village?

With the Paris Olympics on the horizon, there are a couple of items to keep in mind.  First, there will be 4 new “sports” in the program for 2024.  I use quotation marks here because if you stopped the “man on the street” and asked him to name strange sports, you would likely spend a week stopping folks before you got all four named.  Here they are:

  1. Break Dancing
  2. Skateboarding
  3. Sport Climbing
  4. Surfing

Please ignore the fact that nothing like these “events” were part of the original Olympic Games in or around 776 BC nor the fact that Surfing in or around Paris is problematic.  [Aside:  Surfing will take place at Teahupo’o in French Polynesia, so it is technically in France although it is 9771 miles from Paris via the Great Circle Route.]  There will be competitions in all these sports and Olympic Medals will be doled out.  That news is moderately outré as compared to the next tidbit.

The Olympic rules against “intimacy” and “fraternization” among inhabitants of the Olympic Village have been lifted; sex is legal this time around.  And part of the preparation by the organizers reflects their thinking on what might go on in the 17 days and nights between July 26 and August 11 this year.

  • There will be 300,000 condoms available for the taking – – and – –
  • Beds are designed to support up to 550 pounds.

Let me put some perspective on those numbers:

  • If you assume that a packaged condom weighs 1 ounce, 300,000 condoms would weigh 18,750 pounds which is more than 9 tons.
  • You need not assume anything to realize that the organizers have provided an average of 17,647 condoms per day for the Olympians’ deployment.
  • The number of athletes for the games is capped at 10,600.  I have not been able to find a breakdown as to the number of male and female athletes expected to participate in the games, but if the numbers are equally divided, each male athlete would have at his disposal 3.3 condoms per day for 17 days.

All the above is simple arithmetic and one can draw whatever conclusions one might want to take from the numbers as to the anticipated orgy-level in the Olympic Village come the summer.  Regarding the beds that will support 550 lbs, do not let your mind dwell on that imagery for too long.  The TV series Sex and the City will have been off the air for 20 years when the Paris Olympics take place; perhaps we can think of the Games this time around as Sex and the Village.

Moving on …  In the NBA, LeBron James is no longer the best all-around player in the league; he is still “Top 5”, but I believe the best all-around player is Nikola Jokic.  The most intriguing player at the moment – – the one you tune in to see what he might do on this particular night – – is Victor Wembanyama who shows flashes that he might be the best all-around player at some point in the future.  However, I would like to make an argument here about the player who is the most valuable to his team and who simultaneously is not nearly the best all-around player in the NBA.

Yes, I know this is a futile argument and that this player will never be named NBA MVP for a season, but my assessment is that the player most valuable to his team in the NBA is Jalen Brunson of the NY Knicks.

  • The season before signing Brunson (2021/2022) as a free agent, the Knicks were 35-47 and did not make the playoffs.
  • Last year was his first season in NY; the Knicks went 47-35 and won one round of the playoffs.
  • This year the Knicks are 41-27 putting them in 4th place in the Eastern Conference and a mortal lock to make the playoffs.

I am not saying that Jalen Brunson is a better all-around player than Nikola Jokic or Wemby or LeBron James; he is not.  However, in terms of value to his team – – the Knicks – – he very well might be the most valuable player.

Next up …  The reports of the death of Sports Illustrated may have been premature.  The ownership of the SI is complicated, but an entity known as Minute Media has acquired the license from the brand’s owner to publish the magazine.  The licensing agreement is reported to be for 10 years with an option to extend the agreement for 20 years after that period.  [Aside:  Given the uncertainties of the media world in 2024, any thoughts about what might exist 30 years from now is pure fantasy.]  The new publishers can produce the magazine in print and online and can continue the Swimsuit Issue as part of the deal.

One thing is for sure.  The new publisher must avoid anything resembling the embarrassment that fell to SI a few months ago when it was uncovered that the online version had reports written by an artificial intelligence algorithm and was published under a fictitious byline.  I am no journalist by anyone’s definition, but I know that sort of skullduggery is not acceptable in the world of journalism.

Finally, I began today musing on the anticipated sexual events in the Olympic Village this year.  So, let me close with these general observations about sex from a variety of folks:

“Is sex dirty?  Only if it’s done right.”  (Woody Allen)

And …

“If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.”  (Fran Lebowitz)

And …

“Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place.”  (Billy Crystal)

Bud don’t get me wrong, I love sports………



4 thoughts on “Sex And The Village?”

  1. It’s just a matter of time before the Kama Sutra joins the decathlon and heptathlon as medal events.

  2. It’s no longer our world. I propose that Olympic events be combined. For instance, clean-and-jerk weightlifting with break dancing.

    1. TenaciousP:

      I like your thinking here. Might I also suggest combining weightlifting with synchronized swimming?

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