And a Happy St. Patrick’s Day to everyone as that Feast Day coincides with the start of March Madness in 2026. The so-called “First Four” will be in action this evening. There are commonalities between St. Patrick’s Day and March Madness beyond the proximity of the two things on the calendar.
- March Madness produces unpredictability and “bracket busting”.
- St Patrick’s Day evokes images of shamrocks and “luck of the Irish”
However, everything today will not be chaotic or unpredictable because here in Curmudgeon Central there is another “tradition” that links to the start March Madness; today will be my annual light-hearted review of player names on the 68 teams that will contend for the national championship starting this evening. There is no malice intended here; it’s just wordplay.
Before I begin, however, I do need to harken back to last year’s tournament’s first round action. Florida – – the eventual National champion by the way – – faced Norfolk St. in the opening round. The oddsmakers had Florida at a 31-point favorite and the coach for Norfolk St., Robert Jones, said before the game that he was very happy with his team and that they were not 30 points worse than Florida.
The final score of the game was Florida 95 and Norfolk St. 69. Said Coach Jones after the game during his presser:
“I told you we weren’t a 30-point underdog.”
Well played, Coach.
As I was scanning the 68 team rosters for the tournament this year, I was struck by the fact that Vandy seems to have tried to corner the market on players named “Tyler”; on a 15-man roster, Vandy dresses out:
- Tyler Harris
- Tyler Nickel
- Tyler Tanner
The North Dakota St. roster, meanwhile, has an unusual number of name “parings” on the team:
- Carson Smith, Tay Smith
- Carson Smith and Trevian Carson
- Riley Massey and Riley Saunders
As is customary, I will begin the wordplay by noting players whose names are Complete Sentences:
- Trent Burns – – Missouri – – better with a direct object, but whatever …
- Chase Clemmons – – Kennesaw St.
- Will Cooper – – Nebraska – – Just add a question mark
- Jeremy Fears Jr. – – Michigan St
- Chase Johnston – – High Point
- Anthony Rise – – Iowa St. – – All you need is a comma
Next up, here are players whose names just might portend their careers once they have finished playing basketball. I call this the Career Omens List:
- Dante Allen – – Miami (FL) – – Poet
- Jack Anderson – – American – – Investigative Journalist
- Solo Ball – – UConn – – Operatic tenor
- Dawson Baker – – BYU – – Too easy …
- Tavion Banks – – Iowa – – Financier
- Chandler Bing – – Vandy – – Crooner
- Leon Bond III – – Northern Iowa – – Secret Agent
- Xavier Booker – – UCLA – – Publisher
- Cameron Boozer – – Duke – – Mixologist
- Aylin Breed – – NC State – – Westminster Dog Show judge
- Kaleb Brewer – – McNeese St. – – Pretty Obvious…
- Stephon Castle – – UConn – – Chess Master
- Skyy Clark – – UCLA – – Astronaut
- Dom Clay – – N. Dakota St. – – Potter
- Jackson Cook – – Arizona – – Chef
- Alex Cotton – – Howard – – Fashion designer
- Tanner Cuff – – Hawai’i – – Tailor
- Caden Diggs – – UMBC – – Funeral director
- Jalen Dollar – – Cal Baptist – – Hedge Fund executive
- Jim Ferry – – UMBC head coach – – Boat captain
- Boogie Fland – – Florida – – Choreographer
- Trey Fort – – Michigan St. – – Sentinel
- Oscar Goodman – – Michigan – – Movie Director
- Cody Head – – Akron – – Hair stylist
- Jazz Henderson – – Texas Tech – – Obviously …
- Zayden High – – UNC – – Airline pilot
- Dean Hogans – – American – – University Administrator
- Dontae Horne – – Prairie View – – Trombonist
- Tom House – – Furman – – Congressman
- Hunter Jacobsen – – Northern Iowa – – Not a gatherer…
- Parker Jefferson – – Gonzaga – – Park Ranger
- Cooper Josefsberg – – Florida – – Barrell maker
- Rory Hawke – – St. Mary’s – – Falconer
- Jax Kerr – – St. Louis – – Mayor of Jacksonville
- Miles Klapper – – Idaho – – Bell ringer
- Urban Klavzar – – Florida – – City planner
- Jaxon Kohler – – Michigan St. – – Plumber
- Colt Langdon – – NC State – – Rodeo rider
- Cedric Lath – – Houston – – Stucco worker
- Fletcher Loyer – – Purdue – – Arrow maker
- Chance Mallory – – Virginia – – Professional gambler
- Rienk Mast – – Nebraska – – Sailor
- Carson McDonald – – American – – Farmer
- Drew McElroy – – TCU – – Portrait artist
- Onyx Nnani – – USF – – Jeweler
- Tristen Newton – – UConn – – Fig farmer
- Tyler Nickel – – Vandy – – Chemist
- Michaelangelo Oberti – – Penn – – Ceiling painter of course
- KJ Perry – – BYU – – Defense attorney
- Casper Pohto – – St. John’s – – Ghostbuster
- Justin Porter – – Clemson – – Longshoreman
- TJ Power – – Penn – – Linesman for the county?
- Reuben Prey – – St. John’s – – Big game hunter
- Nick Pringle – – Arkansas – – Potato chip maker
- David Punch – – TCU – – Boxer
- Brenden Reed – – Lehigh – – Saxophonist
- Quentin Rhymes – – Nebraska – – Poet laurate
- Calvin Robins Jr. – – Howard – – Ornithologist
- Tate Sage – – Iowa – – Herbalist
- Ozyiah Sellers – – St. John’s – – Commodities trader
- Tre’Shawn Sheppard – – LIU – – Clearly …
- Justice Shoats – – Siena – – Law Enforcement Officer
- Cam Spencer – – UConn – – Auto mechanic
- Charles Stone – – Kennesaw St. – – Sculptor
- Cam Thrower – – Penn – – Auto engine saboteur?
- Bryson Tiller – – Kansas – – Farmer
- Jayden Toombs – – SMU – – Archeologist
- Zach Tow – – Kentucky – – AAA affiliate
- Ace Valentine – – UMBC – – Poker pro
- DJ Wagner – – Arkansas – – Guess what
- Kyle Waltz – – Miami (OH) – – Dancing with the stars?
- Cory Wells – – Prairie View – – Oil wildcatter
- Mason Williams – – Iowa St. – – Bricklayer
- Nolan Winter – – Wisconsin – – Climate scientist
- Logan Woods – – Wright St. – – Carpenter
The next list is made up of players’ names that are Alliterative. Three entries here are a trifecta of Aliteracy when paired with their schools. I have always been in search of an Alliterative “Superfecta” in the tournament but have not been successful. What I need to come across one of these years is a player named Billy Bob Brewster from Brown. The search goes on …
- Amaree Abram – – Tennessee
- Alfredo Addesa – – Lehigh
- Abdullah Ahmed – – BYU
- Amari Allen – – Alabama – – Trifecta
- Almar Atlason – – Miami (OH)
- Brayden Boe – – Utah St.
- Brayden Burries – – Arizona
- Brent Byers – – Miami (OH)
- Cobi Campbell – – Troy
- Cooper Campbell – – Troy
- Coen Carr – – Michigan St.
- Carson Cooper – – Michigan St.
- Cade Courbat – – Northern Iowa
- Chase Courbat – – Northern Iowa
- Dominique Daniels, Jr. – – Cal Baptist
- Dylan Darling – – St. John’s
- Donovan Dent – – UCLA
- Daylon Dickerson – – UMBC
- Dominique Diomande – – BYU
- Derek Dixon – – UNC
- Damian Dunn – – Houston
- Declan Duru, Jr. – – Texas
- Elan Elmer – – Miami (OH)
- Francis Folefac – – Siena
- Greg Gordon – – LIU
- Jason Jakstys – – Illinois
- Joshua Jefferson – – Iowa St.
- Julian Johnson – – Howard
- Jay Jones – – Penn
- Jayden Jones – – Tennessee St.
- Kerrington Kiel – – Troy
- Keba Keita – – BYU
- Kolby King – – Utah St.
- Karter Knox – – Arkansas
- Kasen Krueger – – High Point
- Luke Laczkowski – – St. Louis
- Liutauras Lelevicius – – TCU
- Lefteris Liotopoulos – – St. John’s
- Lucas Lueth – – Penn
- Matt Mayock – – American
- Mavrick Miller – – High Point
- Mackenzie Mgbako – – Texas A&M
- Mark Mitchell – – Missouri – – Trifecta
- Milan Momcilovic – – Iowa St.
- Malachi Moreno – – Kentucky
- Owen Odom – – Virginia
- Ose Okojie – – Howard
- Shammah Scott – – Akron
- Silas Sunday – – Hofstra
- Trey Thomnpson – – Iowa
- Thomas Tillman – – Furman
- Tanner Toolson – – TCU – – Trifecta
- Victor Valdes – – Troy
Moving on to the next list, we encounter players’ names that are “palindromic”; they can be read forwards or backwards and still produce a recognizable name. I call this the list of Back and Forth Names:
- Corbin Allen – – Kansas
- Drake Allen – – Utah St.
- Tyshawn Archie – – McNeese St.
- Jayden Bradley – – Arizona
- Tyree Bryan – – Texas Tech
- Henry Burt – – Nebraska
- Campbell Duncan – – Tennessee
- Ryan Elvin – – Houston
- Federiko Federiko – – Texas A&M – – Is there an echo in here?
- Jack Francis – – Texas Tech
- Winters Grady – – Michigan
- Isaiah Henry – – Queens
- Isaia Howard – – Iowa
- Dillon Hunter – – Clemson
- Birgir Irving – – High Point
- Bryce James – – Arizona
- Jimma James – – Queens
- Mike James – – Vandy
- Jack Janicki – – Wisconsin
- Tai’Reon Joseph – – Prairie View
- Gunnar Lewis – – Furman
- Brandon Lee – – Illinois
- Alex Lloyd – – Florida
- Tramon Mark – – Texas
- Rob Martin – – High Point
- Marcus Millender – – Georgia
- Gavin Paull – – Tennessee
- Asa Thomas – – Furman
- Matthew Walter – – Queens
- Johnnie Walter – – Penn
Here are players in this year’s March Madness field whose name reminds me of someone else; it is my “Somebody’s relative?” list:
- Marcus Allen – – (Miami (FL) – – Aren’t you in the Pro Football Hall of Fame already?
- AJ Brown – – Florida – – Is your brother a WR for the Eagles?
- James Brown – – UNC – – The Godfather of Soul?
- Garry Clark – – Utah St. – – Did your dad play in the NFL?
- Javon Colbert – – Troy – – Son of Stephen?
- Themus Fulks – – UCF – – “Jumpin’ Joe’s” grand nephew?
- RJ Godfrey – – Clemson – – Arthur’s grandson?
- Brayden Hawthorne – – Do you have a scarlet letter in your name?
- Hunter Erickson – – Hawai’i – – Descended from Leif?
- Isaac Holmes – – St. Louis – – Son of Sherlock?
- Christian Horry – – UCLA – – Make your dad proud.
- Puff Johnson – – Ohio St. – – Any magic dragons in the family?
- George Kimble III – – Vandy – – Was Dr. Richard Kimble your uncle?
- Peter Kramer – – Lehigh – – Do you know Jerry Seinfeld?
- Eric Mulder – – Iowa St. – – Is the truth still out there?
- Gehrig Normand – – Santa Clara – – Shouldn’t you be on the baseball team?
- Jermaine O’Neal, Jr. – – SMU – – Make your dad proud.
- Caleb Sanders – – USF – – Do you have an uncle who was a Colonel?
- Kareen Stagg – – Georgia – – Amos Alonso’s great grandson?
- Tru Washington – – Miami (FL) – – Do you have a twin brother named False?
- Cam Ward – – Michigan St. – – I thought you were a QB…
Next is a list of player’s names that relate to former Presidents of the United States. I call it the POTUS List:
- Blake Buchanan – – Iowa St.
- Hunter Carter – – Hawai’i
- Tyler Crider – – Queens
- Jackson Francois – – Arizona
- Harrison Hochberg – – Michigan
- LaTrell Hoover – – Texas Tech
- Elmarko Jackson – – Kansas
- Kordell Jefferson – – Houston
- Morez Johnson, Jr. – – Michigan
- Caleb Johnson – – LIU
- Carter Lang – – Virginia
- Braden Pierce – – Villanova
- Tyler Robbins – – Miami (OH)
- Mylik Wilson – – Houston
- Carter Wellington – – Clemson
The next list of players’ names relates to warriors and fighters; I call it the Military Man List:
- Devin Caesar – – UMBC
- Graham Ike – – Gonzaga
- Brandon Garrison – – Kentucky
- Jayden Jackson – – Cal Baptist
- Xaivian Lee – – Florida
- Dominick Nelson – – Iowa St.
- Izaiyah Nelson – – USF
- Kellen Pickett – – Wright St.
- Jackson Rasmussen – – Idaho
- Clint Sargent – – Wright St. (head coach)
- Cole Sherman – – Louisville
- Frankquon Sherman – – Kennesaw St.
- Hunter Wellington – – Clemson
Here are players’ names that constitute an Artist’s Palette:
- Kendall Blue – – Nebraska
- Isaiah Brown – – Florida
- Malik Brown – – Duke
- Elijah Gray – – Wisconsin
- Korben Green – – Troy
- Trey Green – – St. Louis
- Blue Cain – – Georgia
- AJ Redd – – Illinois
- Colin White – – Ohio State
- Jacari White – – Virginia
- Tre White – – Kansas
The next list of players’ names conveys a sense of Nobility or Peerage:
- Duke Brennan – – Villanova
- Caesar Burrows – – Lehigh
- Jah’Likai King – – UMBC
- Sam King – – Purdue
- Duke Miles – – Vandy
- Kelvin Odih – – St. John’s
- Labaron Philon, Jr. – – Alabama
- Kamran Prince – – American
- Devin Royal – – Ohio St.
Next up, players names that can make you think of faraway places; I call it the Geography List:
- Trevon Brazile – – Arkansas
- Gibraltar Coleman – – American
- Jordann Dumont – – VCU
- Camden Heide – – Texas
- Troy Henderson – – Tennessee
- Ed Holland III – – Howard
- London Jemison – – Alabama
- London Johnson – – Louisville
- Khalil London – – Tennessee St.
- Houston Mallette – – Alabama
- German Plotnikov – – Hofstra
- Kellen Thames – – St. Louis
- Dallas Thomas – – Clemson
- Jordan Watford – – Queens
This list has players’ names that make you recall things from the Bible; it is the Biblical List:
- Christian Anderson – – Texas Tech
- Bishop Boswell – – Tennessee
- Luke Brown – – American
- Solomon Callaghan – – Wright St.
- Colby Christiansen – – Queens
- Jacob Crews – – Missouri
- Austin Cross – – Troy
- Justin Cross – – Kansas
- Malachi Davis – – LIU
- Malachi Douyon – – Santa Clara
- Isaiah Evans – – Duke
- Aaron Fine – – Purdue
- Elijah Gertrude – – Virginia
- Jeremiah Green – – Texas A&M
- Noah Haaland – – Gonzaga
- Micah Handlogten – – Florida
- Aaron Hunkin-Claytor – – Hawai’i
- Seth Joba – – Idaho
- Jasper Johnson – – Kentucky
- Jeremiah Johnson – – Howard
- Samson Johnson – – UConn
- Emmanuel Innocenti – — Gonzaga
- Jacob McFarland – – Houston
- Isaac McNeeley – – Louisville
- Adam Miller – – Gonzaga
- Josiah Mosley – – Texas Tech
- Elijah Perryman – – Utah St.
- Jordan Pope – – Texas
- Emanuel Sharp – – Houston
- Luke Skaljac – – Miami (OH)
- Zion Stanford – – Villanova
- Seth Trimble – – UNC
- Divine Ugochukwu – – Michigan St.
- Noah Williamson – – Alabama
I have saved this list for last because it is the most fun one for me. This is a list of players’ names that could create nightmares for copy editors at newspapers around the country. In addition, some of these could be “challenging” for play-by-play announcers in the heat of game action. I call this the Copy Editors’ Nightmare List:
- Sadiku Ibine Ayo – – St. John’s
- Berke Büyüktuncel – – Nebraska
- Francis Chukwudebelu – – Santa Clara
- Regimentas Ciunys – – UMBC
- Somtochukwu Cyril – – Georgia
- Sash Gavalyugov – – Santa Clara
- Michael Imariagbe – – Wright St.
- Zvonimir Ivisic – – Illinois
- Ugnius Jaruševicius – – Nebraska
- Danas Kazakevicius – – Howard
- Motiejus Krivas – – Arizona
- Yanis Ndjonga – – Mc Neese St.
- Gytis Nemeiksa – – Hawai’i
- Nginyu Ngala – – Kansas
- Dozie Onyirimba – – Kennesaw St.
- Apostolos Roumoglou – – UConn
- Vianney Salatchoum – – TCU
- Andrej Stojakovic – – Illinois
- Alex Tsynkevich – – Hofstra
- Poohpha Warakulnukroh – – UCF
- Ifeanyi Ufochukwu – – Duke
- Matas Vokietaitis – – Texas
I believe that there is a least one entry on one of the lists here for each of the 68 schools in the tournament and I have tried not to duplicate any player’s name on multiple lists. If I have been successful, and if I assume that each team has 15 players on the team, then there will be 1,020 players participating in the tournament and I have 312 of their names contained herein. In case you were wondering and did not feel like counting for yourself.
Finally, it would seem appropriate to close this year’s version of my “Name Game” by quoting Juliet Capulet:
“What’s in a name?
That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.”
But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………