Get Your Hot Dog Here …

Now that all of us have recovered from the celebratory excesses of the July 4^th holiday, let me spend a moment telling you how various MLB teams have decorated hot dogs in their stadia for sale during the entirety of the MLB season.  The hot dog is a symbol of “Americana”; MLB is a symbol of “Americana”.  Notwithstanding either of those statements, consider:

• In Arizona at Chase Field, fans attending D-Backs’ games can order a Top Tot Dog.  That would be a hot dog with chili, scallions, tater tots, nacho cheese sauce and sour cream.
• In KC at Kauffman Stadium, fans attending Royals’ games can order a Royal Blue Dog.  [No, this is not a political reference to Blue Dog Democrats…]  That would be a hot dog topped with bacon and blue cheese.
• In Cleveland at Progressive Field, fans attending Indians’ games can order a Slider Dog.  That would be a hot dog topped with mac and cheese, bacon and Froot Loops.  Seriously …
• In Atlanta at SunTrust Park, fans attending Braves’ games can order a Dixie Dog.  That would be a hot dog with pulled pork and barbecue sauce, cole slaw and pickles.
• In Baltimore at Camden Yards, fans attending Orioles’ games can order a Crab Mac ‘n Cheese Dog.  There is really no mystery there …
• In Detroit at Comerica Park, fans attending Tigers’ games can order a Poutine Dog.  That would be a hot dog topped with French Fries, gravy and cheese curds.
• In Pittsburgh at PNC Park, fans attending Pirates’ games can order a Cracker Jack ‘N’ Mac Dog.  You guessed it; this is a hot dog with mac and cheese, Cracker Jack chips and jalapeno peppers (fresh or pickled at the customer’s option).

Most of the above sound good enough to me so that my reaction to all of this is:

• Pass the Rolaids…

I read a report somewhere – – and did not make a note of where it was from so I cannot cite it properly – – that John Spanos who is the President of Football Operations for the LA Chargers said recently:

“It doesn’t matter where you’re playing; it’s important to have a good team. That defines everything.”

I think John Spanos is absolutely correct here; if an ownership and Front Office have a winning team on the field, most everything else can work itself out.  HOW-EVAH … [/Stephen A. Smith]:

• If location does not matter nearly as much as putting a winning team on the field, can John Spanos explain in 5 simple declarative sentences why the Chargers moved away from San Diego? 

I would be happy to hear that reasoned and logical discourse.

I have had a note about this next topic on my clipboard for a while and have put off talking about it because it is potentially a hot-button issue and I do not want to be labeled as some sort of troglodyte.  Nonetheless, I have decided to take the heat that is sure to come my way and talk about the scope of the NFL Cheerleaders’ lawsuits against various NFL teams and even the NFL itself.

I think there are two categories of lawsuits here.  Some seek compensation because cheerleaders have not been paid minimum wages. I have no problem with those lawsuits and – candidly – I hope the cheerleaders win those suits and collect for themselves and for women who preceded them.

There are allegations that some cheerleaders have been used as “eye candy” for big-spending suite owners who were invited to photo shoots where the cheerleaders were in various states of dishabille – to include being only clothed in body paint.  I find that disgusting – – not the cheerleaders in body paint but the fact that their employer would use them as a way to maintain or attract big spending customers.

I get all of that; I sympathize with all of that.  Here is where I get off the train – and where feminists can take aim and fire:

• Some cheerleader suits have claimed that they have been “body shamed” and forced to “lose weight” or “get in better shape” as a condition of continued membership of the cheerleading squad.

Yes, I agree that women ought not to be put in positions where they are ogled because they are women.  Notwithstanding that statement, I also believe that women who sign up to be cheerleaders for NFL teams should have NO EXPECTATION of value to the team other than as eye-candy.  Cheerleaders do not block or tackle; they do not score points or prevent the opposing from scoring points.  NFL cheerleaders are attractive women who are scantily dressed and the reason for all of that is that the teams hope that those women will be part of a fully rewarding experience for an audience that is mostly men – – and mostly inebriated men.

Here is why I could never be a judge.  No woman with an IQ equal to or greater than the speed limit on the Interstates could possibly fail to realize that she was signing onto a “job” where she was going to be objectified for her sexuality and that those were the most important “qualifications” for her to get the job in the first place.  Any woman who did not recognize that from Day One may not be able to tell lightening from thunder.

There are real – and potentially actionable – lawsuits out there for the taking.  There is the temptation to various activist groups to take those lawsuits to a nonsensical extent.

• Memo For Cheerleaders And Their Advisors:  You have the law on your side; you have won in the “Court of Public Opinion”.  Try not to screw this up and make some or all of the ranks of NFL Cheerleaders look like dumbasses.

Finally, Brad Dickson – formerly with the Omaha World-Herald – had this Tweet regarding the recently concluded College World Series in Omaha:

“At the CWS concession be sure to buy a ‘Widow maker’ – it’s 7 lbs of cheese, 5 lbs of bacon, covered in frosting, butter and tobacco.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………