Category: Daily Rants

The 2025 NFL season remains “open for business” to 8 of the 32 teams today; the other 24 teams are probably using their time strategizing for free agency and then the Draft and ultimately the 2026 season.  To my mind, the NY Giants’ situation stands out from the rest of the league.

• Many of the “idle” teams this morning are looking for “their QB”.  The Giants seem to be in fine shape there with Jaxson Dart.
• Reports this morning say that the Giants and John Harbaugh’s agent are finalizing an agreement for Harbaugh to coach the Giants.  Check that box.
• And then, on the negative side, there is this headline from msn.com:
• “Russell Wilson leaves Giants cruel parting gift with NFL investigation expected over comments”

Say what?  Russell Wilson’s contract with the Giants was a 1-year deal; so the “parting gift” is not something related to a cap hit when the team released him and even if there were some unusual clauses in that contract, how might that involve an NFL investigation?

Here’s the deal.  On his way out the door, Wilson said that he injured his hamstring prior to the Giants’ Week 2 game against the Cowboys and that injury went unreported.  If true, that is an NFL no-no.  Also, if true, other QBs around the league might be looking to injure their hamstrings before games because Russell Wilson threw for 450 yards and 3 TDs against the Cowboys in Week 2.  The Giants lost that game 40-37, but it would be difficult to pin the blame on Wilson for that outcome.

Here is what Wilson said to reporters:

“You know, I played that [Week 2] game, you know, I tore my hamstring on Friday in practice — the last play of practice.  And I had a grade two [tear]. I couldn’t tell anybody. I had to go and play on it just because I knew the circumstance, I had to play on it, no matter what. I actually ended up going to the Dallas Mavericks’ facility, training.”

The NFL has long been diligent in reporting the injury status of players; that practice has taken on even more importance with the explosion of legal sports wagering and things like “player prop bets” proliferating.  That statement cannot have fallen on deaf ears in the NFL Front Office; the Giants need that sort of scrutiny like I need a third nostril.

And lest you think that this is merely one last grasp at publicity by Wilson, it is not.  In the same session where he dropped that little item above, he also declared that he is a free agent and fully expects to be ready to play QB for an NFL team next season.  Here is how he characterized his off-season plans:

“You know, and just be ready to rock and roll, and be as healthy as possible and be ready to play ball.”

As they say at the World Series of Poker, “Shuffle up, and deal …”

Moving on …  Do you realize that the NBA regular season is almost half over?  Teams already have played between 38 and 41 games; the regular season is 82 games in length.  I have paid only the most marginal attention so far this season; I have watched only two or three games in their entirety since the season tipped off in October 2025 and have not paid full attention to some of the game snippets I have experienced so far this season.  For those of you who have also paid little attention, let me bring you up to speed here:

• The Detroit Pistons have the best record in the Eastern Conference at 28-10.  No, they have not cloned Isiah Thomas and Bill Lambeer.
• The Boston Celtics record is 24-15 which is surprising since most folks thought that Jaxon Tatum’s injury and other roster shuffling would make this a down year in Boston.
• The Oklahoma City Thunder started the season with a 24-1 record; they have “cooled off” since then but still have the best record in the league at 34-7.
• At the other end of the teeter-totter, the Philadelphia 76ers record for futility is all but assured; the Indiana Pacers record today is 9-32.  The Sixers’ record in 1973 was 9-73, meaning the Pacers would have to lose out from here just to equal that degree of ineptitude.

Finally, here is an interesting point of view from George Burns:

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

 

 

Scott Adams died yesterday; the cause of death was metastatic prostate cancer.  Scott Adams was the creator of the comic strip Dilbert which I considered a “must-read” from the mid-1990s on.  His social and political views were outside the mainstream; he described himself as a libertarian minus the crazy stuff; nonetheless, some of his views were seen by many as “crazy”.  He suffered from the “cancel culture” when he made some racially insensitive remarks on his podcast.  Notwithstanding his personal sociopolitical views, Scott Adams brought me thousands of smiles and chuckles with Dilbert and Wally and the pointy-haired boss.  His satire of “office life” was sharp and pointed; he will be missed by many folks including me.

Rest in peace, Scott Adams.

Mike Tomlin decided yesterday to abandon his role as the coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers after 19 seasons on the job.  Every football fan in America knows that Tomlin’s Steelers never recorded a losing record in any of those 19 seasons and that feat alone should pave the way for Mike Tomlin’ entry into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.  The search process for a new coach will be an unfamiliar one for the Steelers’ organization and for Steelers’ fans; here is the history:

• In 1969, the Steelers hired Chuck Noll to replace Bill Austin.
• In 1992, the Steelers hired Bill Cowher to replace Chuck Noll.
• In 2006, the Steelers hired Mike Tomlin to replace Bill Cowher.

In the last 57 years, this will be the Steelers’ fourth “coach-hiring event”; that record is unique in NFL ranks.

Even though Tomlin’s teams never had a losing season, a part of the fanbase became disenchanted with him and his style of football – – defense first and a conservative offense.  At a game in the regular season this year, chants of “Fire Tomlin!” broke out in one of the Steelers’ home games.  I have to think those chants played at least a small part in Mike Tomlin’s decision yesterday.

Some have opined that Tomlin now joins John Harbaugh as a “prize catch” in this year’s NFL coach-swap season.  [Aside: How great would it be for Harbaugh to get the Steelers’ job and for Tomlin to get the Ravens’ job and the two of them to carry on their rivalry?]  My gut tells me that Tomlin is not going to take another coaching gig quickly; the level of stability that he had lived and worked under in his time with the Steelers is not likely to be imitated let alone duplicated anywhere else; so, I suspect he will do a lot of thinking about whether he wants to work in a different environment or not.

Others have suggested that Tomlin will go into broadcasting – – and at least a few commentators have speculated that he already has the outline of a deal with FOX for next season.  Yahoo!Sports says that he earned about $100M over his time with the Steelers; if that figure is even close to correct, I doubt that Mike Tomlin “needs a job”.  Personally, I think he would be very good on TV if that is what he chooses to do next in his life.

Staying with today’s theme of “departures”, the Eagles fired their offensive coordinator, Kevin Patullo yesterday.  To say that the Eagles’ offense underperformed in 2025 would be high praise for that portion of the Eagles’ team.  After I watched the Eagles lose to the Niners over the weekend, I sent a text to two good friends who are Eagles’ fans; I did not know at the time I sent the text that they were in attendance for that game freezing their butts off in those weather conditions.  Here is the text I sent to them:

“If Patullo has a job with the Eagles on Tuesday morning, that means he has photos of the owner having sex with a barnyard animal.”

I have not seen a report as to the exact time that this separation took place, but I will assert that my prediction came true because there are no photos of the Eagles’ owner having sex with a barnyard animal – – or even a household pet.

At the end of a text exchange with my friends, one of them declared that:

“… I’m swearing off going to Eagles games when the wind-chill is below 70°.”

To paraphrase the bearded guy in the Dos Equis ads:

• Stay warm, my friends …

Finally, since today has been about separations, let me close with George Carlin’s view on one specific separation:

“I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

 

 

Stonehill College is in Easton Massachusetts and its men’s basketball team – the Stonehill Skyhawks – are in the Division 1 Northeast Conference.  Another member of that conference is the Chicago St. Cougars, and the two teams played each other in a game with a bizarre finish.  Let me set the stage:

• Chicago St. led by two points,
• Time left on the clock was 1 second.
• Chicago St. had possession of the ball out of bounds.

You guessed it, Chicago St. lost that game.  How could that happen you may ask.

The Cougars’ player with the ball out of bounds called a time out – – but Chicago St. had no timeouts left.  By rule, the timeout is granted and a technical foul is assessed thereby giving Stonehill two shots from the foul line.  Naturally, Stonehill sank the two free throws to force overtime and then Stonehill won the game in overtime 85-82.

That loss left the Chicago St. Cougars with a record of 2-15 for the season; it is not as if defeat is unknown in that locker room.  However, that loss must be a standout for the team; that timeout call is even worse than the infamous one executed by Chris Webber in the NCAA Tournament against UNC.  Yes, the stakes were higher in that March Madness game; Chicago St. is clearly not going to “be a factor” in the NCAA Tournament this season; however, Webber’s mistake was made in the course of game action not in a situation where the ball was in the hands of a player standing out of bounds needing only to throw the ball to anyone on the court to start the clock down from 1 second.

[Aside:  That victory for Stonehill ran their season record to 4-12; I am guessing they too will not “be a factor” in this year’s March Madness event.]

Moving on …  The Atlanta Falcons hired former Falcons’ QB, Matt Ryan, as their President of Football late last week.  Ryan turned in his “football analyst on TV” mantle and assumed the role of “NFL Front Office Executive”.  The Falcons can only hope that Ryan will be as good as an exec as he was as a studio analyst on TV; the CBS pregame show has a hole to fill.

In that new role, Ryan will answer directly to the principal owner of the Falcons, Arthur Blank.  In a statement by the Falcons, Blank said that Ryan will have the final say on “all football decisions”.  That would seem to take any ambiguity off the table about roles and responsibilities within the organization.

Ryan’s first job objective is to find and hire a new GM and a new head coach both of whom will report to him.  And it would appear that Ryan is letting no grass grow under his feet.  According to a report in this morning’s Washington Post, the Falcons announced on Monday that they had already interviewed both John Harbaugh and Mike McDaniel for the head coach position.

Let me make it clear that I do not wish for Matt Ryan to fail in his new role; it seems to me that he is a class act.  However, the Falcons did something akin to this in the past.

• In 1968, the Falcons hired former NFL QB, Norm Van Brocklin, as their head coach.
• In 1970, the Falcons made him the GM in addition to the head coach.
• “Stormin’ Norman” was with the Falcons through the first half of the 1974 season.
• The Falcons record under Van Brocklin was a meager 37-49-3.

Switching gears – – sort of …  John Harbaugh is clearly the trophy fish in the coaching pond at the moment, and his coaching style is different from just about everyone else out there on various teams’ radars.  John Harbaugh is a former Special Teams coach and defensive backs coach; he was never an offensive coordinator nor a defensive coordinator; he does not call plays on either side of the ball and – – according to reports – – he delegates game planning and scheming to his staff.  That style does not map well onto many other coaching aspirants.

What does John Harbaugh do to earn his keep as a head coach?  From my perspective, he assures that there is always an adult in the room.  Moreover, that adult will remain emotionally in control through good and bad game situations providing a measure of stability that is not universally present on NFL sidelines week after week.

Personally, I think the Giants would benefit the most from having Harbaugh’s maturity and stability on their sideline; those elements were clearly absent during the “Brian Daboll Days”.  As of this morning, I have not heard or read anything that would suggest that the Giants have spoken with Harbaugh about the job.

Finally, here are words for Matt Ryan and John Harbaugh as of this morning from General George S. Patton:

“Accept the challenges so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

 

 

The CBA between the WNBA and the WNBPA has expired.  Notwithstanding two time extensions from Halloween until last weekend, the two sides chose not to come to an agreement, and the league now exists in a zombie state.  There are no rules or restrictions on things that players or teams might choose to do; and at the same time, there is reason for teams and players to do nothing spectacular since no one knows what the new rules/restrictions will be once a new CBA comes into existence – – which must happen sometime down the road.

There is no player strike and there is no league- imposed lockout at least for the moment.  The sticking points seem to be commonplace for management/union stalemates – – salaries and benefits.  Both sides issued statements once the CBA ceased to exist over the weekend and both statements were just about what anyone would have expected under the circumstances

From the union:

“Make no mistake, pay equity is not optional and progress is long overdue. We urge the league and its teams to meet this moment. The players already have and will continue to do so.”

From the league:

“As the league experiences a pivotal time of unprecedented popularity and growth, we recognize the importance of building upon that momentum.  Our priority is a deal that significantly increases player salaries, enhances the overall player experience, and supports the long-term growth of the league for current and future generations of players and fans.”

Unless one is willing to project the evaporation of the WNBA and its disappearance from the sporting cosmos, there will need to be a compromise here one of these days.  Here is my “suggestion” for the sports media in the US:

• Report NOTHING about the players and the league until and unless they announce that negotiations are over and a new CBA has come to be.

Recall in George Orwell’s dystopian novel, 1984, there were “Unpersons” – – those that had been “removed” from society by the Party and whose very existence had been expunged from all memories.  I believe the best thing that could happen to the labor negotiations here is for BOTH SIDES to experience what it is like to be an “Unperson”.  If there is nothing that either side can do to achieve even a morsel of attention from the media, both sides may become a bit more motivated to get to where they both need to get.

• The league might begin to wonder if indeed the sporting public and the sports media might be able to continue to exist without a thing called the WNBA.  Public indifference might lead to public absence from arenas and from in front of TV sets.
• The players might begin to recognize that if the league fails or exists in diminished stature, their playing future(s) will also go into decline.  Yes, the players would still have overseas leagues to join, and they would still have their 3-on-3 league, “Unrivaled”, as opportunities.  However, they exist now and if they were sufficient for players’ opportunities, there would be no imperative for worrying about any WNBA issues at all.

Let the coverage moratorium begin today and see how long it is until either or both sides here try to do something to “get back in the news”.  My guess is that would happen in 3-5 days …

Moving on …  The Winter Olympics in Milan will start on February 6^th; late last week, The Athletic had a report that there seems to be a major glitch in the preparation for the ice hockey events there.  The plans called for the construction of a new venue for Olympic hockey; with less than a month to go before pucks could drop, “… the main ice hockey venue remains very much a work in progress.”

The report says that the arena feels like a construction site even though a test game was played there last week.  There is an ice surface and there are seats in the arena; that is the good news.  However here are a few other observations from the report:

“Construction dust floated over the playing surface”

And …

“There were still multiple large holes in the exterior of the building “

And …

“The permanent dressing room area is also still under construction”

And …

“The practice rink structure is currently dotted with forklifts, building materials and other tools … Getting that completed is vital since there won’t be anywhere else for teams to skate during the Olympics, when the main rink will be jammed with as many as three games per day.”

And …

“The building currently features unpainted drywall and unfinished concrete floors throughout. There will be no fancy concourses or luxury boxes here. On Friday night, fans [for the test game played there] could purchase food and beer from food trucks parked outside.”

This sounds like the essence of a goat rodeo.  Like the inevitability of a new CBA for the WNBA and its players, there will be accommodations made to permit the Olympic hockey competition to happen.  Just sit back and focus on other matters and wait to see just what those accommodations turn out to be.

Finally, here is an interesting perspective on “inevitability” from author, Haruki Murakami:

“Pain is inevitable.  Suffering is optional.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports ………

 

 

Back in the days of the Roman Empire, Fridays were Dies Veneris – or Days of Venus, the goddess of love.  Possibly, that is because the Romans had not invented football yet; thus, they could not have experienced a Football Friday.  It’s no wonder that the Empire fell …

There were no picks in the “Betting Bundle” but there were two Money Line Parlays; so, let me clear the stats on that front:

• Spreads and Totals:              0-0
• Season to Date:                     35-40-2

And …

• Money Line Parlays:             0-2                   Loss = $200
• Season to Date:                     17-23               Profit = $657

 

College Football Commentary:

 

Before commenting on last night’s CFP action, I want to consider something a bit more generic about the CFP.  For a reason that I do not understand – – partly because I am similarly afflicted – – college football fans are very intolerant of early round lopsided games in the tournament.  And as the complaining reaches a crescendo, the knee jerk solution to that offensive situation is to exclude teams outside the Power Four and/or to increase the number of teams invited to the tournament.  By now – – when half of the teams that will play for the national championship has been decided – – those cries have died down to the point that the issue might be considered less emotionally.

I too am not nearly as entertained by some of the early round CFP: games as I would be if they were more competitive, but when I think about the general “solutions” offered to the problem, I am not sure that they would cure the problem.

• Add more teams: This “solution” would do two things; it would offer more games in the early rounds, and it would seriously impact all the other bowl games by removing the few teams that might be an attraction for those games.  If the “added teams” come from the Power Four, that will assure that some fourth-place teams from one or more of the conferences will be in the CFP and almost assuredly, those teams have already lost to the top teams from that conference.  So, is that going to kick it up a notch?  [Hat Tip: Emeril Lagasse].
• Exclude G-5 Teams:  This “solution” runs the risk of the CFP being sued for monopolistic practices and whether you believe it to be behaving in that way or not, facing that sort of legal jeopardy is not going to be attractive to anyone involved with the CFP.  Maybe you could come up with a structure whereby the G-5 schools get a percentage of the revenue generated by the CFP even without participating such that the G-5 would agree to the deal.  However, I think the willingness of the power brokers in the Power Four conferences and in the CFP hierarchy would be sketchy at best.

            As I was ruminating on this situation, an analogy came to mind that makes me wonder why fans are as intolerant of “CFP mismatches” as they are.  The best analogy to the CFP that I can come up with is March Madness.

• Both are intercollegiate competitions
• Both crown national champions
• Both attract large TV audiences
• Both generate sizeable revenues

And the early round blowouts in March Madness brackets are usually shrugged off as “business as usual” in the tournament.  When a team like UConn or Kentucky or Duke wallops “Are You Kidding Me A&M” by 45 points in a first-round game, the only “complaints” that seem to arise are from those who took UConn/Kentucky/Duke and laid 47 points.  So, what is the difference?  Why is there no hue and cry to make sure that “Are You Kidding Me A&M” and any team that resembles “Are You Kidding Me A&M” never darkens another annual bracket?

There is, regarding March Madness, a similarity in a suggestion to “add more teams”; some have suggested expanding March Madness to 96 teams which I think is outrageous.  And once again, if there is “expansion” along with the exclusion of more Mid-Majors”, legal peril could arise.

My resolution here is pragmatic.  The CFP will eventually expand to 16 teams; that will add revenue (always a welcome result), and it will obviate the debate on “rust or rest” that faces the top-seeded teams which have gone 1-7 in their first appearances in the CFP as it exists now.  Since I have every expectation that will come to pass, the only question is the makeup of the 16-team field and once again I think March Madness provides a model.

• Empanel a Selection Committee – – people with a strong résumé and a very thick skin.
• Empower them to name the participants and to seed them.
• Then embrace:

What the Selection Committee has put together, let no man put asunder…

            Or as Yul Brynner said in the role of Ramses II in The Ten Commandments:

“So let it be written; so, let it be done.”

The Miami Hurricanes secured a spot in the CFP Final Game last night coming from behind and scoring the winning TD with 18 seconds left on the clock.  Hopefully, that presence in the Final Game will silence all those who were dead certain that Miami simply did not belong in the field in the first place.  Moreover, it should serve as an example for folks who think that conference champions should be the teams to represent their conferences regardless of any other consideration; recall that this year’s ACC Champion was Duke, which posted a regular season record of 7-5.

 

Tonight’s CFP Game:

 

Oregon vs Indiana – 3.5 (48.5):  These teams met in the regular season; on Oct 11, the Hoosiers beat the Ducks in Oregon by a score of 30-20.  In that game, the score was tied at 13 apiece in the middle of the third quarter and tied again 20-20 early in the fourth quarter.  Given the subsequent performances by both teams, there is every reason to expect a good game tonight.  Both teams are well coached; the two QBs are considered to be “Top 5 Picks” in the upcoming NFL Draft; both teams play hard every play.  I think Indiana can establish “Big-Ten Dominance” in football this season by winning the CFP; it would be the third year in a row that the big Ten produced the CFP champ AND it would be the third different big Ten team to do so.  I like Indiana here to win and cover; put it in the “Betting Bundle”.

 

NFL Commentary:

 

I guess the biggest NFL news today is that no other head coach was fired overnight.  So, let me comment on the NFL coaching situation as it stands now – – recognizing that it will certainly change once teams are eliminated from the layoffs and their assistants can be openly interviewed and contacted.

• Ravens:  This must be a desirable position for several reasons; two-time MVP, Lamar Jackson, is there; Derrick Henry is there; Mark Andrews is there.  All those players are on offense, so this team needs a defensive guy to round things out.  Both Brian Flores and Robert Saleh had excellent season-long results as defensive coordinators.  Another “plus “attached to the Ravens’ job is the history of a patient ownership.  Since the Ravens came into existence 30 years ago, the team has had only 3 head coaches – – Ted Marchibroda, Brian Billick and John Harbaugh.
• Cards:  I guess the best thing this job has to offer is that it should not be difficult to show some improvement early on in one’s tenure in Arizona.  The roster did not mesh last year; the QB situation is up in the air; the team invested in defense in the last offseason and that defense was mediocre at best.  Coaches only get two shots at being a head coach in the NFL; after two firings, most are labeled as “damaged goods”.  I would be surprised to see a “second-time coach” take this job with this roster and with marginal ownership on top.
• Browns:  Everything I said about the Cards applies to the Browns – – except the Browns’ defense is very good as opposed to the Cards’ defense.  The ownership situation here is less than ideal to say the least and the QB situation would fill up two years of drama on an afternoon soap opera.  Remember, Deshaun Watson is still on the payroll and is rehabbing …
• Raiders:  Bad roster; bad owner; the specter of Tom Brady hovering around the team; playing in a tough division.  Other than those factors, this is a great job …
• Giants:  I think the team is at an inflection point; they appear poised to become much better than their double-digit losses in the previous season would indicate.  My first thought was that Kevin Stefanski would be the ideal candidate for this job, but I wonder if his low-key/ cerebral demeanor will play well with the NYC media.  A mismatch there can generate those “dreaded distractions”, don’t you know…
• Dolphins:  Who knows what that franchise will do next?  The first thing an aspirant for the job must figure out is the value of Tua Tagovailoa and then assess his availability due to injuries.  The defense is good – – not great – – and De’Von Achane is a quality running back.  Best assessment here is that this is neither the best nor the worst job out there this year…
• Titans:  This is another franchise where the next move is likely to be the next surprise.  According to a report at CBSSports.com, the Titans have requested interviews with 14 head coaching candidates.

Glass half full = The Front Office wants to gather as much input from as many candidates as possible to set the course for the future of the team based on a synthesis of that input,

Glass half empty = The Front Office has no clue what it needs or wants and will – at some point – tire of trying to sort among the candidates and draw a name out of a hat.

            Here are comments from some of last week’s games:

Giants 34  Cowboys 17:  The Cowboys played their starters for the first half only; the Giants played their starters longer than that.  Conclusion:

• The Giants starters are better than the Cowboys’ reserves

Vikes 16  Packers 3:  The Packers played Clayton Tune at QB in this game, and he had net passing yardage of minus-7 yards for the game.  On Tuesday of this week, he was released by the team from its roster.  Just in case you need an explanation of how important some of the games last week were …

Texans 38  Colts 30:  Riley Leonard acquitted himself quite well in this game throwing for 270 yards and 2 TDs against the Texans’ defense.

Raiders 14  Chiefs 12:  In this game, the two teams COMBINED to produce 372 yards of Total Offense.  The four QBs that produced that meager total were:

• Shane Buechele and Chris Oladokun (Chiefs)
• Aidan O’Connell and Kenny Pickett (Raiders)

Commanders 24  Eagles 17:  The Eagles played almost no starters on offense or on defense for the entire game; the Commanders played the starters.  See the Cowboys/Giants game above for a parallel assessment …

Steelers 26  Ravens 24:  When that last second field goal went “wide right”, I wonder if somewhere Scott Norwood felt a twinge in his leg …

 

Games This Week:

 

The Seahawks and the Broncos get a week off as the overall #1 seeds in the conference playoffs.  Both teams are as healthy as can be expected after an 18-game regular season schedule; so, they are not necessarily looking at this time off as a “rehab opportunity”.  The other 12 teams in the playoffs need to face quality opponents this week as they press on for a shot at the Super Bowl on Feb 8.

(Sat. 4:30 PM ET) Rams – 10.5 at Panthers (46):  These teams met in Carolina on November 30^th in the regular season; that was not all that long ago. In that game, the Panthers won outright by a score of 31-28.  In that game, the Rams closed as 10-point favorites – – and lost outright.  So, why is there nothing different in the spread for this game?  An important element of the Panthers’ winning six weeks ago was that the Panthers’ defense turned the ball over for the offense three times.  Can that unit replicate that performance?

(Sat. 8:00 PM ET) Packers – 2 at Bears (44.5):  This will be the third meeting for these two teams this season; that does not happen all that often.  I think the key to this game is efficacy of the Bears’ running attack.  If the Bears can run the ball and keep the Packers’ offense off the field a bit, that will provide some respite for the Bears’ defense.  Moreover, it will keep Caleb Williams from feeling as if he has to do everything by himself for the offense.

(Sun. 1:00 PM ET) Bills – 2 at Jags (51.5):  I know that Josh Allen is always capable of emerging from a phone booth (remember those) in a Superman outfit and taking over any NFL game.  Having said that, I like the Jags in this game because there has been “something missing” or “something discordant” about the Bills when I have watched them this season.  And the Bills’ run defense is just plain “not good”.  Give me the Jags plus the points; put that in the “Betting Bundle”.

(Sun. 4:30 PM ET) Niners at Eagles – 5 (44):  Let me get to the Bottom Line here:

• Niners’ defense has a ton of injuries to key players.
• Eagles’ offense has sputtered for most of the year.

It would not be a huge surprise to see the Eagles’ defense keep the Niners in check; the question is how the Eagle’s offense might fare against the Niners’ defense.  The spread for this game opened at 3 points so that line movement means there has been a significant imbalance of money on the Eagles from earlier this week.  I think this line is fat; give me the Niners plus the points; put that in the “Betting Bundle”.

(Sun. 8:15 PM ET) Chargers at Pats – 3.5 (46):  Drake Maye has never been in an NFL Playoff game; in fact, he was never in a college football playoff game. This is terra incognita for him.  Meanwhile, Justin Herbert has been in two NFL Playoff games and has lost both of them.  This is a long journey for the Chargers from sunny SoCal to cold and possibly snowy New England.

(Mon. 8:15 PM ET) Texans – 3 at Steelers (38):  Points will be at a premium in this game; defense is the calling card for both teams.  The spread here bounced up to 4 points a couple of times earlier this week, but it has been stable at this level since Wednesday evening.  Normally when I expect a low-scoring game, I like to take the points; but this game has too many moving parts:

• Aaron Rodgers has loads of playoff experience; CJ Stroud does not
• The Steelers get DK Metcalf back in this game; they had to play without him for the last two weeks.
• Can the Steelers’ OL handle the Texans’ pass rush?  Aaron Rodgers is not nearly as mobile as he used to be.

I’ll just sit back with a nice glass of wine and enjoy the last game of Wildcard weekend.

So, let me review the “Betting Bundle”:

• Indiana – 3.5 over Oregon
• Jags +2 against Bills
• Niners +5 against Eagles

            And just for fun here is a Money Line Parlay:

• Jags @ +105
• Pats @ minus-180
• Indiana @ minus-165                        $100 wager to win $412

Finally, Jake Gaither was the longtime head football coach at Florida A&M; here is how he described his ideal defensive player:

“He should be agile, mobile and hostile.”

Sounds like what we might be seeing in the Texans/Steelers game on Monday night.

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

 

 

I do not recall another early-January season where the NFL coach firings have come out in dribs and drabs the way they have this year.  Usually, all the beheadings take place or have taken place by Tuesday after Week 18 of the regular season; this year there seems to be a new “firing” every day.  This morning, I learned that the Dolphins have fired Mike McDaniel after having him at the helm for four seasons.  I wonder who is next …

Let me stay with the idea of “coach firings” for a moment here.  I read yesterday afternoon that the Raiders will owe Pete Carroll $30.1M as his buyout for the rest of his contract.  I thought that had to be a typo because I could not imagine that the Raiders had given a 73-year-old man a long-term deal and he had only been on the job for a little less than 12 months.  Well, I was wrong.

According to various references, Pete Carroll’s contract with the Raiders was for 3 years and $45M; so, assuming linear payments, the Raiders are on the hook for about $30M.  Moreover, even if there is a clause there allowing the Raiders relief should Carroll get a head coaching job elsewhere, that is not likely because Carroll is now 74 years old.

Reports say that the Falcons restructured Kirk Cousins’ contract such that they may be able to release him and not suffer a monstrous cap hit.  I don’t pretend to understand all that cap-related mathematics, but I assume all the reporting is reliable.  It does, however, make me wonder about the Falcons’ evaluations:

• The Falcons record in 2025 was 8-9-0
• Michael Penix Jr. was 3-7-0 as a starter
• Kirk Cousins was 5-2-0 as a starter
• Michael Penix Jr has been injured often in college and the NFL
• And the Falcons are working to release a backup who went 5-2-0 …?

The Cowboys fired defensive coordinator Matt Eberflus.  Given the way the Cowboys performed on defense in 2025, Eberflus is lucky he was not tarred and feathered on his way out of town.  The Cowboys finished the season with a record of 7-9-1:

• The Cowboys gave up 511 points (28.4 points per game) in 2025; that was the most in the NFL.
• That defensive failure wasted an excellent offensive year by the Cowboys who scored 471 points (26.2 points per game) which was third best in the NFC.

The Commanders fired both of their coordinators – – Klif Kingsbury on offense and Joe Whitt, Jr. on defense.  Kingsbury had to deal with not having Jayden Daniels available for 11 games in 2025 and with nagging injuries to Terry McLauren.  Indeed, the Commanders’ offense “took a step back” in 2025 but it is not clear that the playcalling was the cause.

On defense, the Commanders’ problem is much worse.  The problem there is that the Commanders have two – and arguably three – starters on defense who could also start for a majority of other teams in the league.  The talent level is low and coaching cannot infuse talent.  Having said that, there is a coaching issue with the defense, and it is basic:

• Other than Bobby Wagner, the Commanders’ defenders do not tackle effectively.  The essential element – the key skill/ability – of a football defender is to tackle the guy with the ball.
• The Commanders’ defenders usually tackle form the shoulders up; the more effective way to tackle is from the waist down.
• Coaching can be very effective in that aspect of the game.

The CFP continues this weekend; were this March Madness, we would be talking about the “Final Four” in the tournament.  Let me suggest that Alabama – – and more specifically Nick Saban – – have a large footprint regarding this “Final Four”; each of the head coaches this weekend have spent time working under Saban at Alabama:

• Curt Cignetti was at Alabama from 2007-2011 as the run game coordinator and the WR coach.
• Mario Cristobol was at Alabama from 2013-2016 as the run game coordinator, OL coach and Assistant Head Coach.
• Pete Golding was at Alabama from 2018-2022 as the linebackers coach and the Defensive Coordinator.
• Dan Lanning was at Alabama in 2007 as a Graduate Assistant.

And just in case you think I sneaked one in on you, if Lane Kiffin were still at Ole Miss, he too would fit the pattern:

• Lane Kiffin was at Alabama from 2014-2016 as the QBs coach and the Offensive Coordinator.

Finally, it would be difficult to argue with Nick Saban on this point:

“The way I look at it is, if you don’t want somebody to know something, don’t say it. If you don’t want them to see you do something, don’t do it.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

 

 

Even though there had been “reports” of some degree of conflict in the Baltimore Ravens’ locker room, I did not think the Ravens would “move on” from John Harbaugh who had been with the team for the last 18 NFL seasons.  Only Mike Tomlin (Steelers) has been in the same job for a longer time than that; although the Ravens clearly underperformed expectations for 2025, injuries had a lot to do with that.

If one were to use the metric that Harbaugh’s Ravens failed to make the playoffs, consider that the proximal reason for that failure was a missed but makeable field goal try with no time remaining in the final game of the season.  John Harbaugh did not miss that field goal attempt and nothing in John Harbaugh’s coaching decisions missed that field goal attempt.

In his 18 years as the head coach of the Ravens – – his only head coaching gig ever – – here are some stats:

• Overall record = 180-113-0   Winning percentage = .614
• 12 playoff appearances in 18 seasons
• 4 appearances in AFC Championship Game
• 1 Super Bowl victory

Those numbers are comparable to some of the achievements of coaches in the Pro Football Hall of Fame; they might not be so easy to replicate.

There is a potential similarity here to something in the past.  In 2012, the Eagles “moved on” from Andy Reid who immediately got another job with the Chiefs.  I need not remind anyone that Chiefs’ fans have been pretty happy with that hiring decision.  John Harbaugh comes from the “Andy Reid Coaching Tree” and I will not be surprised to read relatively soon that one of the NFL teams looking for a new coach chooses John Harbaugh for that job opening.

In fact, there are teams in the league who decided to stick with their coach for next year who might be “rethinking” now that someone with John Harbaugh’s résumé is out and about and perhaps looking for work.  Might there be a small measure of “pucker factor” going on in the coaching ranks of:

• Bengals
• Bucs
• Commanders
• Dolphins?

Moving on – – but staying with the topic of the NFL’s coaching carousel …  A report in The Athletic says that there is an inordinate amount of nepotism in the Front Office ranks of the NY Giants.  The report highlights some positions in the personnel evaluation department and in football operations where it is not clear that some incumbents are in positions based solely on merit.  Given that The Athletic is a credible source, applicants for the Giants’ vacant head coaching position might want to prepare a far more diplomatic way to ask two questions when they are prompted to do so by the interviewing team:

• Are the people responsible for the personnel decisions involving Saquon Barkley and/or Daniel Jones still in place?

And if the answer is “Yes”, then

• Why?

Switching gears …  I got an email from a former colleague who has been reading these rants even before they made it to the Internet.  He thought that I had been kinder to Jonathan Gannon when news of his firing was announced than I should have been.  Here is something he pointed out to me:

“Gannon’s Cardinals lost more games in 2025 than the other three teams in their division lost in 2025.  That team has lots of work to do to recover from a disastrous season.”

That observation is completely correct.  The Cards record was 3-14-0 in 2025.  The other three teams in the NFC West lost a total of 13 games.  Amazing …

Finally, I’ll close with this piece of wisdom from Peter Drucker:

“There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

 

 

After I posted yesterday’s rant, the Arizona Cardinals decided to take a hand in the NFL coaching carousel for 2026 and fired head coach Jonathan Gannon.  He had been on the job there for three seasons and posted a record of 15-36-0.  That is a bad record, but it is even worse than it looks.

• In 2023, the Cards were 4-13-0 – – but showed signs of life.
• In 2024, the Cards were 8-9-0 – – and looked competitive.
• In 2025, the Cards were 3-14-0 – – and lost 14 of their last 15 games.

I thought the Cards were ready to make a positive splash in 2025 and I picked them to win the NFC West in my Pre-Season Analysis.  [Aside: Snickering is permissible here …]  What looked promising to me back in August 2025 now appears to be sewage backup situation in Arizona.

On the assumption that teams have decided on their coaching situations going forward, there are six teams with job openings.  None of the opportunities look like great situations but let me consider each of them here.  These are in alphabetical order and not in any order of preference.

• Browns:  The Browns’ defense is excellent; there is no question about that.  The QB next year will be either Shedeur Sanders or Dillon Gabriel and that is not excellent.  The Deshaun Watson contract will hang around the neck of the new coach through the end of the 2027 season and the geniuses who created that contract mess are all still in place in Cleveland.  Who knows what else those folks have up their sleeves?  The Browns will draft at #6 in 2026.
• Cardinals:  The QB situation is in flux – – unless the new coach wants to try to reinvent Kyler Murray.  They have two excellent receivers in Michael Wilson and Trey McBride.  They spent on defensive players last year, but that never seemed to mesh.  They have the #3 pick in the upcoming draft.
• Falcons:  The team has a couple of MAJOR unknowns to deal with:
  • • Can Michael Penix Jr. stay healthy?
    • When healthy, is Michael Penix Jr. really an NFL franchise QB?

The Falcons have plenty of offensive weapons and a tolerable defense, but if Penix is fool’s gold …  One big plus for this job is that the Falcons are in the NFC South and that division is “less than fearsome” as witnessed by the fact that this year’s division champion posted a record of 8-9-0.  The Falcons do not have a first-round pick this year after trading it away last year.

• Giants:  It sure looks as if the Giants have a real asset at QB in Jaxson Dart and if both Malik Nabors and Cam Skattebo can return to form after serious injuries last season, the Giants could be better than average on offense.  The defense has some quality players up front but the linebacking and the defensive backfield need serious upgrades.  The Giants draft at #5 this year so there should be plenty of quality defenders available to them.
• Raiders:  The Raiders have three talented players on the roster – – Brock Bowers, Maxx Crosby and Ashton Jeanty.  They also draft first in 2026 and should get a quality player there.  [Aside: The last time the Raiders had t=he overall #1 pick and took a QB as they are expected to do here, they took JaMarcus Russell.  Let’s just agree that it did not end well for the team.] The rest of the roster is a soggy mess and any aspirant for the job there must convince himself that Raiders’ owner, Mark Davis, will allow things to settle into some sort of pattern.  Stability is not part of that franchise’s DNA…
• Titans:  Similar to the Falcons above, the Titans need to know if Cam Ward is indeed an NFL franchise QB.  He had some “good moments” in 2025 – – but not nearly as many as he had “bad moments”.  The Titans draft fourth in April and have plenty of need for talent upgrades throughout the roster.   There is an “owner issue” here too.  When Titans’ ownership had an internal squabble between the coach and the GM, these owners sided with the GM and fired Mike Vrabel.  Go look it up …

Finally, here is a closing thought from my favorite curmudgeon, H. L. Mencken:

“It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

 

 

Happy New Year to all.  Having returned from a road trip late yesterday, there was not nearly enough time for a full-fledged Football Friday today; so, here is a truncated version.  There were no entries in the “Betting Bundle” from Christmas Eve but to keep everything on the up-and-up here are the Season Totals as of now:

• Spreads and Totals:              35-40-2
• Money Line Parlays:             17-21               Profit = $857

 

College Football Commentary:

 

The CFP is in full swing and the surprises keep on coming.  I often refer here to the importance of “strength of schedule” even though measuring such a thing is imprecise at best.  However, the loss by Ohio St. to Miami indicated to me that Ohio St. had not played a difficult schedule in 2025 and when they played other top teams (Indiana and Miami for example), the Buckeyes were not nearly as good as their record would have led you to believe.

I was impressed by the Texas Tech defense notwithstanding the score of that game against Oregon.  The Red Raiders’ defense was on the field just about all game long.  I am not sure if the Oregon defense showed out to be a whole lot better than its reputation or if the Tech offense was simply inept.  If you want to take one side of that discussion, I will be happy to take the other.

Alabama was simply over-matched against Indiana.  Long before the game got totally out of hand, it was obvious that “Bama would need abundant good fortune to prevail in that contest.  Alabama rushed for a total of 23 yards in the game (on 16 attempts) and was outgained by 217 yards for the day.  Those are the sorts of stats you expect to see with Alabama on top when they take on one of their cupcake opponents in early September.

Ole Miss trailed Georgia 21-12 at the half and 24-19 as the start of the fourth quarter but the Rebels absolutely dominated the final 15 minutes of the game producing an ending that probably will never be repeated in college football games.  Getting from the point where there were 5 seconds left in the game until the final whistle may have taken as long as 20 minutes in real time.  That ending should be remembered alongside the Stanford Band marching onto the field thinking they had defeated Cal only to have Cal run though the band formation to score the winning TD.

There will be a fresh face as college football’s national champion this year:

• Indiana has been playing college football since 1887 with zero national championships.
• Oregon has been playing college football since 1894 with zero national championships.
• Miami last won the national championship in 2001.
• Ole Miss was the national champion in 1962.

            In case you want to know how the oddsmakers see the CFP playing out, here are the odds as of this morning regarding the ultimate champion for the 2025 college football season:

• Indiana odds range from +125 to +135
• Oregon odds range from +300 to +320
• Miami odds range from +300 to +335
• Ole Miss odds range from +550 to +600

Indeed, Indiana is now a significant favorite to win the national championship in football this season …

For those of you who think Lane Kiffin is nothing more than a money-grubbing carpetbagger, you need to root for Ole Miss to win it all while Coach Kiffin is moving into Baton Rouge and diversifying his retirement portfolio from that locale.  Just a thought …

Oregon and Indiana will meet in the next round of the CFP; those teams played each other in the regular season in Oregon and Indiana won by 10 points that day.  Notwithstanding that history, the opening spread for that game sees Indiana as 4-point favorites.

 

NFL Commentary:

 

It did not have to turn out this way, but the NFL schedule makers managed to construct a season where there are 3 meaningful games on tap for Week 18.

1. When the Panthers and Bucs lost last week, they set up a winner-take-all game for the NFC South championship this week.
2. When the Ravens and Steelers lost last week, they set up a winner-take-all game for the AFC North championship this week.
3. And the Niners/Seahawks game this week will determine playoff seeding for those two teams guaranteed as playoff teams.

As we wind down to the final parts of the regular season, I think the voting for Coach of the Year will be dispersed among 4 candidates for the honor.  In alphabetical order I think these are the contenders:

• Liam Coen – Jags
• Ben Johnson – Bears
• Kyle Shanahan – Niners
• Mike Vrabel – Pats

Take your pick there; any one of those four would be deserving of the award.

There were five games from last week with interesting outcomes:

Jags 23  Colts 17:  Do you realize that is the sixth loss in a row for the Colts?  They started out 8-2 for the year and could wind up with a losing record if they drop this week’s game against the Texans who are favored by double-digits.

Saints 34  Titans 26:  That is the sixth win for the Saints this year; after the way they looked at the start of the season before benching Spencer Rattler in favor of Tyler Shough, that is a surprising win total.

Seahawks 27  Panthers 10:  The result is not shocking, but the Seahawks held the Panthers to 139 yards Total Offense and only 40 net yards passing.

Eagles 13  Bills 12:  The Eagles only gained 17 yards of offense in the second half of the game and won because of their defense.  I could not find stats about teams winning games with less offense in a half, but I did run across this stat from a regular season NFL game that was “comparable”:

• In 2002, the Texans beat the Steelers 24-6.
• In that game, the Texans mustered a total of 47 yards on offense.
• The Texans won that game because they recorded 3 TDs on defense that day.

Giants 34  Raiders 10:  Looks as if the Raiders will be “on the clock” for the NFL Draft in April 2026.

 

Games This Week:

 

(Sat 4:00PM ET) Panthers at Bucs – 2 (44):  The Bucs have lost 4 games in a row and 7 of their last 8 games – – and they are favored here?  The winner goes to the playoffs meaning this game has some faux significance.

(Sat 8:15PM ET) Seahawks – 1 at Niners (47.5):  The winner gets home field advantage and a BYE Week in the playoffs; the loser should be the 6^th seed.  For me, the real question is more cynical:

• Will Sam Darnold play like “Early-Season Sam” or like last year’s “WTF Sam” in the late season?

Packers at Vikes – 7.5 (37):  Not a lot of meaning to this game other than it is a division game – – as are all the other games this week.

Colts at Texans – 10 (39):  Colts will play Riley Leonard at QB against a really good Texans’ defense – – and the Texans still have a chance to win the AFC South title with a win here and a Jags loss to the Titans

Dolphins at Pats – 11 (45.5):  Mathematically, the Pats can still get the overall #1 seed in the playoffs.  The Dolphins probably can’t wait to get home where it is warm.

Chiefs – 5 at Raiders (36):  It would delicious if the Raiders rise up and win this game costing them the overall #1 pick in the draft next year.  They have worked so hard to put themselves in this position having lost their last 10 games in a row.

Lions at Bears – 3 (50.5):  I look at that Total Line and wonder why it is so high – – and then I realize that Dan Campbell will be calling an aggressive game against a mediocre Bears’ defense and that Ben Johnson will be looking to stick it to his old boss on the other sideline …

Jets at Bills – 8 (37):  High temp for the day is forecast to be 26 degrees.  On a scale of zero to one hundred, my interest level in this game does not come up to 26 degrees.

(Sun Nite) Ravens – 3.5 at Steelers (41):  This is winner take all; loser goes home and shovels out the driveway.  The Ravens are the single most underachieving team in the NFL this year and the Steelers are a team that has put together a winning record with smoke and mirrors.  It should be an entertaining game…

Browns at Bengals – 7.5 (45):  The important aspect of this game has to do with Myles Garrett.  If he gets a sack in the game, he will set a new NFL season record for sacks.  If he were to do that in the first defensive series of the game, I would turn it off and do something much more important – – like rearranging my sock drawer.

Cowboys – 3.5 at Giants (50):  Best I can say about this game is that the starters are likely to play more than in some other games.

Commanders at Eagles – 3.5 (39):  Commanders’ coach, Dan Quinn, said this week that tanking is not in the team’s vocabulary and that they will play to win despite draft implications.  Sounds good – – unless the Commanders lose by 4 TDs while playing to win…  The Eagles need some sort of spark for their offense heading into the playoffs and the Commanders’ defense may be just  provide said spark.

Saints at Falcons – 3.5 (44):  Yes, this is a rivalry game.  No, I don’t care what the outcome is.

Cards at Rams – 7 (46.5):  The Cards’ season went in the tank early; the Rams seem to be fading late in the season.  It will be interesting to see what the Cards do with Kyler Murray in this offseason.

Chargers at Broncos – 13 (38):  Justin Herbert will get a week off.  It might have been an interesting game with him as a participant…

Titans at Jags – 13 (48):  The Jags can still wind up with the overall #1 seed in the AFC Playoffs with a win here and losses by both the Pats and the Broncos.  Hey, it’s not easy coming up with something to say about this game other than I am glad it won’t be shown in my viewing area.

I will forego a “Betting Bundle” this week because none of the meaningful games have lines that I particularly like – – and I will not pick from among the meaningless ones.  However, here are two Money Line Parlays for fun:

• Texans @ minus-500
• Bears @ minus-160
• Rams @ minus-330               $100 wager to win $154

And …

• Bengals @ minus-320
• Bills @ minus-360
• Jags @ minus-550
• Cowboys @ minus-180        $100 wager to win $208

Finally, this distillation of football from Mike Tomlin:

“It’s football. The ball snaps, you kick butt or you get your butt kicked.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports ………

 

 

Because I watch a lot of sporting events and sports studio programming throughout the year, I am exposed to advertising that nominally is aimed at me with the intention of convincing me that the sponsor is worthy of my consideration when it comes to spending my money.  Some ads are memorable – – even if they do not get me to open my wallet:

• Bob Uecker’s ads for Miller Lite were great.
• The Geico Cavemen ads were enjoyable.
• The “Jake from State Farm” ads are fun.
• The “Fanville ads” for Dr. Pepper are clever.
• The “Dr. Rick ads” for Progressive are humorous.

However, all is not peaches and cream in the ad world.  Some of the ads and some of the ad campaigns are off-putting at best and downright annoying at worst.  Here in Curmudgeon Central, I keep a list of the smarmy underbelly of ads shown to me during the year and use that list to prepare my final rant of the calendar year.  Before I begin, let me comment on something that is not a TV ad but is prominently displayed on the packaging of a product that I buy.

• Kirkland Brand Organic Tortilla Chips (Costco) tells me on its label in large lettering that it is “An Authentic Blend Of Real Ground White And Yellow Corn”.  Just parse those words …  Authentic?  What blend might be inauthentic?
•  And …
• Thank Heaven they used “Real corn” and not “Imaginary corn”.

            Here is a quiz for others who have watched sports on TV and checked out the ads.

• Who appeared in more ads this year…
  • • • Tom Brady
      • “Gronk”
      • Shaq
      • Snoop?

Drug company ads used to be focused on the weekend news conference shows like Meet the Press, but they have expanded their reach to sports programming in the last year.  Before getting specific, there is a common silliness contained in all those ads.  They warn me not to take the medicine if I am allergic to it.  That admonition is akin to telling a Boy Scout not to use poison ivy to wipe his butt should he need to relieve himself in the woods on a camping trip.  However, the medical warning here is even worse:

• The meds involved are not things encountered in daily life.  So, how might I know that I am allergic to the med before I take it and find out that my right arm fell off overnight?
• I have to take it to find out if I am allergic.
• Oh swell.

One of the meds is for relief from Crohn’s Disease and Irritable Bowel Syndrome.  The ad shows happy hikers out in the woods or a group of folks fishing from a boat in open waters – – which would be risky endeavors for someone with Crohn’s Disease.  So obviously, taking the med involved here opens up new possibilities for sufferers of bowel problems.  And then the voice over and the small print at the bottom of the screen that I might have side effects involving infections of my genital and anal organs.  Shouldn’t that get equal billing?  Seems like a harsh trade-off to me…

Rinvoq and Tremfya both treat Crohn’s Disease and they go on to tell me that those meds produce “visible healing of the intestine” in some fraction of the patients over some period of time.  Visible?  Not to the patient I would imagine …

Keytruda is a drug that can be used to treat some forms of cancer in patients.  I believe I counted 22 possible side effects one might experience while taking Keytruda – – and if that is not daunting enough, the narrator says, “These may not be all the side effects.”  What did he leave out?  Might you take the drug and grow a third arm out of the middle of your forehead?  That might be useful for doing push-ups…

Prevagen is a supplement for your brain; one of the Prevagen ads says that it has been the “leading seller of brain enhancement supplements for the past ten years in a row.”  That’s impressive until you ask yourself:

• Have you been wondering how everyone got so much smarter over the past decade – – or had you not noticed?

The insurance company ads continued along traditional lines this year:

• Geico brought back characters from the past.  The Caveman was fun but the squealing pig crying “Wheee!” all the way home should be labeled as a crime against humanity.
• Limu the Emu and Doug continued to probe the outer limits of stupidity.
• Jake from State Farm had good stuff.
• Progressive seems to want to have Flo and her compatriots fade into the background.  Please do not do anything to disabuse the company from that stance.
• Peyton Manning’s Nationwide ads are good – – but could use a bit more variety.

The ads with “Gronk” and Sam Elliott for USAA are well over the acceptable level for idiocy.  “Gronk” cannot become a member of USAA because he did not serve in the military and presumably none of his family like did either.  This causes a significant void in his life, so he presents himself and moves in as a roommate with Sam Elliott because Sam is a member because he served.  Two points here:

• First, how does Sam Elliott not tell “Gronk” to get out of his house?
• Second, since I am like “Gronk” and ineligible for USAA membership, why are they pitching that ad to me and viewers like me?

Here is one that short and simple.  The “winged buffalo” who patrols the innards of Buffalo Wild Wings registers a Level 11 on a scale of 1 to 10 when it comes to “Annoying”!

Shaq does a series of ads for JC Penney; they are all cringe-worthy.  Let me say here that there are few things that are quite as uncomfortable as being in the audience when someone is actively trying to be funny – – but he/she is not funny at all.  In these ads, Shaq introduces “comedians” to try out some of their material and none of it is remotely humorous.  After embarrassing themselves in the ad, the camera pans back to Shaq who is “phony laughing” and who intones, “It’s JC Penney”.  No wonder the company is on the verge of bankruptcy.  Recent reporting says that JC Penney has incurred a loss for each of the last 5 years and has a debt burden of about $5B.  These ads are not going to provide a rocket boost to sales …

Here is the set-up for an ad for FreshPet.  A guy is cooking dinner for his date presumably in his apartment; she opens the fridge and finds FreshPet in there.  She asks why he keeps dog food in the fridge, and he says it’s not dog food, it’s FreshPet.  She says that’s a bit weird and the guy throws her out of the apartment only to be seen sitting on the floor eating dinner with his dog and not the woman.

• First, unless he is eating FreshPet along with his dog, she was right; he was keeping dog food in the fridge.
• Second, if her questioning is sufficiently outré to cause the guy to throw his date out of the apartment, that would explain why he is still single.

I have saved “the best” for last.  This campaign is so stupid that it makes me weep while pondering the future of humankind.  Here are the words:

• “The Colonel lived so we could chicken.”

The New Year will arrive in 7 days.  The ad mavens will be moving on from the Super Bowl ads about then and focusing on what sort of message they will bring during March Madness.  So long as there are ads for sporting events on TV, I should have a reliable supply of things to fill up my final rant of the year.  Let me offer a New Year’s toast to all those ad folks for their service to Curmudgeon Central.

Finally, let me leave you with this observation by John Wannamaker:

“Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is, I don’t know which half.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………