Hercules And The Dallas Cowboys

When teams go through seasons that are “hugely disappointing” and/or “brutally incompetent”, there is often a coach-firing event during the season or a nanosecond after the final whistle of the final game.  In most cases, my position is that the problem might reside in the construction of the roster and not the shortcomings of the coaching staff.  Indeed, it is far more common for in-season coaching changes to produce what Wall Street commentators call the “dead cat bounce”.  On Wall Street that means the price of the stock of a company about to go belly-up plummets toward zero but along the way it has some upticks – – if you drop a dead cat, it will bounce a bit when it hits bottom but that is not going to save the company.

The Dallas Cowboys’ record in 2024 is 3-5-0; considering that the Cowboys’ leadership labeled the season as “all in” back around Labor Day, that is worse than “underachieving” or “disappointing”; that is simply “unacceptably bad”.  There will be no surprise here when the Cowboys make major changes once this season is in the books and try to move on to next year as another “all in season.”

There is an additional level of housecleaning necessary in Dallas; in fact, it has parallels to Greek mythology.  Recall one of Hercules’ twelve labors was to clean the Augean stables.  According to the myth, King Augeas’ stables had not been cleaned for 30 years even though it was home to thousands of oxen; Hercules achieved the cleaning by tearing holes in the walls and then diverting the flow of a nearby river through trenches he had dug for that purpose.  It is not clear from the myth how the people living downstream of the diverted river flow enjoyed their newfound riparian rights; I guess that is left to the readers’ imaginations.

The Dallas Cowboys need a similar cleansing; there are significant and obvious flaws in the construction of the roster in 2024; there just isn’t a lot of room to pretend that is not the case.  So, changing the coaching staff is cosmetic in the case of the Cowboys because the underlying problem is that the GM (Jerry Jones) is also the owner (Jerry Jones), and the owner is not going to fire the GM which would be the first step to charting a new course for the team.  To return to the Hercules myth, King Augeas did not tell Hercules how he had to clean those stables because if he constrained the problem sufficiently, Herc would not have been able to work his mythical powers.

Let me be very careful here to point out that there are boundaries on what I am going to say next:

• Jerry Jones suffers from a “syndrome” that was a hallmark of Danny Boy Snyder’s behavior whilst Snyder owned the Washington franchise.

I do NOT mean that Jones has engaged in the kinds of sleazy behaviors that have been alleged and reported on during the “Snyder Era” in Washington. What I mean here is that Danny Boy thought he knew a lot about football and what it took to build a champion; Snyder was an ”active participant” in the Draft and he once fired a coach because the coach chose not to start the QB that Snyder wanted him to.  For all the protests of thirsting to being a winner to DC, it was always clear to me that such an accomplishment would not be enough for Danny Boy; his team needed to win a Super Bowl in such a way that it was an accomplishment made possible directly through Snyder’s “football acumen”.  And the fact that kept getting in the way there was that Snyder’s “football acumen” was a mere drop in the river that Herc used to wash away all that bovine excrement in the Greek myth.

• Sound familiar to Cowboys’ fans yet?

The problem in Dallas is that it seems to be the only way to chart a new heading for the team must involve Owner Jones replacing GM Jones.  And that is not going to happen without GM Jones taking significant punishment to his ego for the shortage of his “football acumen”.  Remember, Jones had a falling out with Jimmy Johnson after Johnson won the Super Bowl twice with the Cowboys because, in part, Johnson was seen to be the architect of that accomplishment and not Jones.  That happened in 1994, which was 30 years ago, and which was the timespan over which the Augean Stables had not been cleaned.

• Coincidence?  You make the call …

Moving on …  Gregg Popovich is absent from the San Antonion Spurs’ bench at the moment with an “undisclosed health issue”.  Popovich is 75 years old and has had to miss some time on the bench; there was a similar circumstance where Popovich had to miss some time as the team coach due to health concerns a couple of years ago but the reports surrounding this “health issue” have a significantly darker tone than I recall from the previous incident.

ESPN’s Shams Charania said that there is “a great level of concern” related to the current situation and that the current issue is a “serious health issue”.  The only reporting on this subject that seems a bit encouraging to me is that Popovich is supposedly “at home and in good spirits” and that he has been in touch with his assistant coaches in addition to whatever medical folks are involved in his treatment.

Popovich has been the coach in San Antonio since 1996; his regular season record is 1388 – 821 for a win percentage of .628.

• Memo to Gregg Popovich:  Get well soon.  Then stay well.

Finally, let me close with this quote from Jerry Jones to suggest that he may not have as much “football acumen” as he thinks he does:

“This quarterback [Brandon] Weeden can drive the ball down field. He’s a thing of beauty on throwing a football. His passing motion and his arm, frankly, you won’t see a more gifted passer, power, accuracy, the entire aspect of it.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………