Julian Edelman is facing a 4-game suspension from the NFL for failing a drug test. I was not the least bit surprised to hear that Edelman proclaimed that he had no idea how this happened; that is the “go-to response” for every athlete who “lights up the lab” with one of his samples. Here is the thing that did surprise me:
- The NFL said that his failed test was due to the detection of an “unrecognizable substance”.
The natural question here is:
- If the substance is “unrecognizable” – – translation: the guys in the lab have no idea what it is – – how can the NFL be sure that it is a performance enhancer or one of its banned substances or some sort of illicit drug?
Just suppose that after months of painstaking analysis, they find that the “unrecognizable substance” is in fact – – mule snot. I doubt there is evidence that mule snot is a PED; I am pretty sure that ingesting mule snot is not illegal; I am certain that mule snot is not on the NFL list of banned substances. So, while the test can only conclude that there is some “unrecognizable substance” in Julian Edelman’s sample, how can the NFL assume that it is one that merits a suspension?
Another NFL-related story got far too much attention over the past several weeks. Terrell Owens said that he would not attend the Hall of Fame ceremony that would induct him into the Hall of Fame. Analysts have concluded that T.O. is miffed that it took him a couple of years to be voted into the HoF and that is why he will not show up for the event. Talk about a tempest in a spittoon…
Look, if Terrell Owens wants to make his mark as the guy who snubbed the HoF ceremony because he thinks the HoF snubbed him for a couple of years, so be it. By turning that decision on Owens’ part into something worthy of discussion/debate, the media journalists played directly into his hand. I think it is fair to say that more than a few events in Terrell Owens’ life/career point to the fact that he loves to be the center of attention; discussing this magnificently unimportant decision on Owens’ part only serves to make him the center of attention.
Jason Whitlock of FS1 had this Tweet about this matter:
“The worst teammate in the history of professional football is now going to be the worst teammate in the history of the Hall of Fame.”
Somewhere T.O. is smiling while doing sit-ups in his driveway and thinking of how he just got his name in the public eye yet one more time…
Here is an alternate explanation:
- Owens will skip the ceremony because he could not find anyone who was sufficiently egoistic to write the acceptance speech for him.
- Of course, if that is indeed the case, I think it would be safe to conclude that Terrell Owens and LaVar Ball are not on the best of terms.
The US Congress – Motto: Taking fecklessness to new depths daily! – – has held hearings as it contemplates a piece of legislation known as the Horseracing Integrity Act. Sports fans with a memory span greater than that of a rutabaga should recall the last time the Congress waded into the sports world with legislation to preserve the integrity of sports. That previous incursion was the late – but hardly lamented – passage of PASPA which was to protect and preserve college and professional sports from the evil influences of gambling. There were only two flaws in the PASPA legislation:
- It was declared to be unconstitutional 26 years after its enactment.
- It failed to stop gambling on collegiate or pro sports thereby failing in its stated duty to protect those athletic endeavors.
Other than that, …
These days the Congress is contemplating how to “save horseracing” and to protect its integrity; moreover, the Congressthings are actually able to do this with a straight face. Clearly, this means that all of the important problems facing the nation are already resolved if the geniuses on the Hill can take time to work on this nit-not-worth-picking. The Horseracing Integrity Act would ban Lasix on race day and would put drug testing for horses under the auspices of the USADA (United States Anti-Doping Agency). Those are the same efficient and effective folks who assure that Olympic athletes and cyclists are not using banned substances. What could possibly go wrong? I know; they might find horse blood and urine samples that have “unrecognizable substances” in them and use that information to draw a conclusion other than the most obvious one:
- Your “drug testing regimens” are woefully insufficient.
Recently there was a hearing on this matter and the opposing sides of the debate came loaded for bear. Here is a link to a report that will give you more details on this subject that the law allows…
Finally, here is a comment from Brad Rock in the Deseret News. I completely agree…
“ESPN and Netflix plan to air a 10-part documentary on Michael Jordan.
“Because what the world seriously needs is more stories on Michael Jordan.”
But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………
I am not concerned about the horse racing legislation. There will be a group of Congressmen who oppose it because of some unrelated issue it fails to address to their satisfaction.
Doug:
I am not worried about the legislation at all; I am worried that given all the other problems facing the US that this sort of nonsense consumes the time and energy of our legislators. Since horse racing always involves horses, stand by for PETA to join the conversation here. That will surely add more heat and no light to the matter.
So glad that you are back at the keyboard Mr. Curmudgeon. I have been perusing your writings for well over a decade, and find that my day just isn’t complete without a dose of your musings.
Mark:
Thank you for your kind words. Hopefully, I will be doing this for another decade or so…