Well, today is supposed to be the last day of the world – according to the Mayans who seem to have taken leave of Planet Earth just a tad early. Their prediction of the apocalypse is the latest in a series of such pronouncements and every time we come up on one of these predicted deadlines – so to speak – it hits me how bad a bet it is to predict the end of the world. Think about it:
A. If you are wrong and the world continues on past your end date, everyone will call you an absurd asshat.
B. If you are right and the world comes to an end, there is no one around for you to sneer at and say, “I told you so.”
C. It is hard to imagine an outcome other than A or B.
Brad Dickson had this item in the Omaha World-Herald regarding the apocalypse and the impending Beef O’Brady’s Bowl Game between UCF and Ball State:
“According to the Mayan calendar, the world will end on this day. Which means Ball State vs. UCF could be the last football game ever played. Naw, I’m still skipping it.”
Along those lines, what are some of the things that we will not be able to follow or see through to closure in case the Mayans are right?
We will never get to see the college football playoffs.
We wasted a lot of time and energy doing Christmas shopping this year.
We will never get to hear Rex Ryan in a press conference after losing a game.
We will have seen our final March Madness.
We will not get to eat all those Hostess Twinkies we bought and hoarded.
I do not want to sound like Debbie Downer here; there has to be something positive that might come from the Mayans being right. Let me think:
We will never have to concern ourselves with who is boinking which Kardashian.
We need not worry about or resolve the fiscal cliff.
We will never hear another word about Honey Boo Boo
We will not need to file any IRS forms for 2012.
We will not need to hear Jon Gruden call any more NFL games on TV.
Hmm, maybe it isn’t all bad after all…
Here is what I hope happens in the days that follow the lack of an apocalypse tomorrow. I want a professor of ancient languages who has locked himself away in a library for the last several years to come forth and announce that he has found that there is a direct link between some of the hieroglyphs on the bottom of the Mayan calendar and the words:
Nostradamus and the Quatrains
[That would have been an awesome name for a “doo-wop group” back in the 50s, no?]
Enough speculation and commentary about the end of the world, here is something that I can state with absolute certainty each and every morning and no one can possibly refute it:
The world did not end yesterday.
There is a report on CBSsports.com this morning that the Jets want to trade Mark Sanchez and then get Michael Vick – who surely looks as if he will be released by the Eagles – to come to NY as the QB. That sounds like a plan but that scenario requires an NFL to trade for Sanchez whose contract calls for him to make a tad over $8M next year and there is some guaranteed money left in the deal in subsequent years. There are teams whose starting QBs are worse than Sanchez but they do not make $8M next year and cost even more millions in guaranteed money in future years. Finding a trading partner will not be an easy task.
One of the Internet sportsbooks, Bovada.lv/, has listed the odds for teams to win the World Series next year. Currently, the favorites according to the oddsmaker there are the Toronto Blue Jays at 15-2 odds. Prior to acquiring R.A. Dickey from the Mets, the Jays were at 12-1 odds.
Meanwhile, down the list a bit, the Chicago Cubs odds are 100-1. Since 2013 will be the 105th season since the last time the Cubs won the World Series, I think it would be a nice touch for the odds to be 105-1.
Finally, here is an observation by Scott Ostler in the San Francisco Chronicle. I hope the world does not end tomorrow because I want to be around to see this one come true:
“I have no problem with tattoos, but prefer ‘em below the neck. Comment that will be overheard in a few years: ‘He’s old-school. He’s got a face.’ “
But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………