Mental Meanderings …

Happy Cinco de Mayo.  Take it easy on the tequila shots…

As a public service announcement, allow me to remind you that the first Saturday in May is something other than the day they run the Kentucky Derby.  The first Saturday in May is officially World Naked Gardening Day and the goals, objectives and traditions of this day are explained at this website.  So, what might one do to honor and celebrate this day?  Here is what the website suggests:

“First of all, on the first Saturday of May, find an opportunity to get naked and do some gardening. Do so alone, with friends, with family, with your gardening club, or with any other group collected for that purpose. Do it inside your house, in your back yard, on a hiking trail, at a city park, or on the streets. Stay private or go public. Make it a quiet time or make it a public splash. Just get naked and make your part of the botanical world a healthier and more attractive place.”

See how simple that is?  Let me suggest, however, that if you decide to join in these festivities tomorrow, you will need to apply sunscreen to parts of your anatomy that normally do not get such attention.  Same goes for insect repellent.  A word to the wise…

In the world of sports, the first Saturday in May does indeed bring us the running of the Kentucky Derby.  Tomorrow will be the 143rd time the Derby is contested but there does not seem to be nearly the normal level of anticipation for the race this year.  I do not have any strong feelings about any of the entries this year and so I will offer up this unenthusiastic prediction:

  • McCracken and Always Dreaming as an exacta box.
  • McCracken, Always Dreaming and Girvin as a trifecta box.
  • McCracken, Always Dreaming, Girvin and Classic Empire as a superfecta box.

I have routinely referred here to José Canseco as “the gift that keeps on giving” because at least a couple times a year he does or says something sufficiently off-the-wall that I can comment on it here.  The great thing about Canseco is that there is no way to predict what might be coming next.  One time, he is involved in a celebrity boxing match; then he may be trying to reinvent himself as a knuckleball pitcher in an independent league; then he may be trying to sell you the privilege of just hanging out with him for a day and he might even suggest to then candidate Donald Trump that he (Canseco) should be the next Chairman of the Federal Reserve.  Sit-com screenwriters should be so creatively goofy.

There is a possibility that there may be a second “gift that keeps on giving” emerging in the sports world and that new entrant could be LaVar Ball.  There is no doubt that LaVar Ball has achieved a level of outrageousness that would qualify him for that label and he is certainly prolific in the number of off-the-wall things that he says and does.  The only quality that I think LaVar Ball would need to certify himself as a “gift that keeps on giving” is a little variety in his egregiousness.

José Canseco’s “stuff” is all over the map.  Would anyone be really surprised to learn that Canseco would be a participant in a pro ‘rassling “extravaganza” somewhere down the road?  Would it be totally out of character for Canseco to announce his candidacy for mayor of some metropolis somewhere?  Any activity that is not blatantly illegal would surprise me if it were associated with Canseco.  However, with LaVar Ball, the scope of his off-the-wall pronouncements is limited to his declarations of his own personal greatness and that of his kids.

The latest startling event is the announcement of Lonzo Ball’s first signature shoe.  Lonzo has yet to play a minute of pro basketball and he has a new shoe ready for sale – – actually if you order it you will not get it right away but shipping is guaranteed to be prior to November 30, 2017.   There are no refunds on the deal and the cost of the pair of shoes is $495 – – unless you have a really big foot and need a really large size in which case the shoes will set you back an additional $200.

Folks, that announcement is sufficiently outrageous to put LaVar Ball squarely in the same neighborhood with José Canseco.  Now if LaVar Ball can only diversify his pronouncements and actions just a bit.  Maybe he could suggest that he and Lonzo be named as Ambassador-Without-Portfolio by the President so that he and Lonzo can go to the Middle East and explain to all the folks there why a peaceful solution to their differences is beneficial to all.  That would be all I would need to confer upon LaVar Ball the title of “gift that keeps on giving” …

You may recall that I recently pointed out how the so-called “draft experts” on TV covering the NFL Draft never criticized any of the draft selections by any of the teams despite the certainty that as many as 40% of those selections would never see the field in a real NFL game.  Bob Molinaro of the Hampton Roads Virginian-Pilot had a similar/parallel comment regarding the demonstrated expertise on those telecasts:

“Recent history: Draftniks would be wise to remember that they’re receiving analysis of this year’s quarterback crop from the same people who determined last year that the Cowboys’ Dak Prescott was a fourth-round pick.”

In case you are planning to take in a D-Backs game at Chase Field this weekend, let me alert you to one of your culinary possibilities there.  It is called The Churro Dog – not to worry, there is no hot dog in here:

  • Start with a cinnamon churro and stuff it into a cylindrical chocolate covered glazed donut.
  • Slather that in frozen yogurt and top it all with chocolate sauce and/or salted caramel sauce.
  • [There’s gotta be 1000 calories in this bad boy…]

Finally, here is a comment from Brad Dickson in the Omaha World-Herald regarding another ballpark cuisine item:

“The Seattle Mariners are selling out of a new item — toasted grasshoppers covered in chili-lime salt. These are the first baseball games where you have to bring insect spray to protect you from a concession item.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………