Next Wednesday, 30 April 2014, is National Honesty Day. Honestly. I suggest that the timing for this “holiday” is appropriate in that it comes two weeks after the deadline to submit our tax returns. In order to celebrate the day properly, might I suggest a few things for the day:
No advertisements on radio, TV or in the newspapers next Wednesday.
Every member of the US Senate or House of Representatives should wear a muzzle on that day.
Every NFL GM or coach speaking on the subject of the upcoming draft must be silent.
Mark Emmert should stay in bed.
Of course, the occasion of National Honesty Day needs a symbol to remind everyone of the mendacity that goes on for the other 364 days of the year. Some possible symbols:
A pair of pants up in flames
A randomly selected online restaurant review
A freeze frame from the movie Pinocchio
Or perhaps, just a banner that reads:
“If you like your health care plan, you can keep your health care plan.”
Michael Pineda got himself a 10-game suspension for smearing pine tar on his neck and using it to grip the ball. As many players, managers and commentators have pointed out, this is common practice for many pitchers but MLB really had no choice but to suspend Pineda for two reasons:
1. It is the second consecutive game where cameras caught him with the pine tar in plain sight.
2. To be honest, Pineda’s suspension is for blatant stupidity. Seriously, putting a smear of pine tar on your neck? That is the best you can come up with?
Memo to Michael Pineda: Never get involved in a high-stakes game of hide-and-go-seek.
Time has revealed its list of the world’s 100 most influential people for 2014. If I counted correctly, there are five people from the sports world on the same list that has political leaders, religious leaders, titans of industry, Nobel laureates and the like. Honestly, it is hard for me to understand why four of the five are on the list at all. Here they are:
Jason Collins: For 2014, he definitely belongs on the list.
Lydia Ko: If you have to guess what sport she plays and if 75% of sports fans would have trouble picking her out of a line-up with the Harlem Globetrotters, is she really one of the 100 most influential people on the planet? She plays golf…
Cristiano Ronaldo: He is a great soccer player. Other than influencing the outcome of soccer matches, I have no idea what kind of influence he wields in the world at large.
Richard Sherman: He is a great defensive back. Other than his brutally candid interview with Erin Andrews earlier this year, what else has he done that might be remotely “influential”?
Serena Williams: A great tennis player, but might this be just a bit of a stretch…
Manchester United fired their manager, David Moyes, after only one year of his five-year contract. Moyes is the person who had to follow Sir Alex Ferguson in the job at the head of Man U and following a legendary coach is normally a ticket to failure and anonymity.
[Aside: Can you recall who it was that succeeded Vince Lombardi or Bear Bryant or Bud Wilkinson or John Wooden? In case you cannot recall, those gentlemen would be Phil Bengston, Ray Perkins, Gomer Jones and Gene Bartow.]
According to reports, Moyes will suffer something in addition to failure here. Because Man U is in seventh place in the Premier League table, (We would call it the “standings” here in the US.) they will not be eligible to participate in the European Champions League next year. Only the top four teams in the Premier League get to play in the Champions League and I believe my calculations are correct that Man U cannot make it to fourth place even if they win out. If it comes to pass that Man U is indeed out of the Champions League, David Moyes will not be paid for the next four years of his contract. Reports say that there is a clause in the contract absolving the club of the responsibility to pay him under those circumstances.
Memo to David Moyes: If those reports are correct and you are going to miss out on four years’ salary, you really need to find a new agent to negotiate any future deals you might enter into.
Finally, here is an item from Greg Cote in the Miami Herald:
“Idaho hockey fans are suing a Boise arena for selling large beers with the same amount as small beers. That’s shocking. Who knew there were hockey fans in Idaho?”
But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………