A Victory For Cream Cheese

Sometimes you just have to take your small victories and hope they accumulate into larger ones. In the past, the NCAA rule for colleges in terms of the meals they could provide for athletes allowed schools to provide unlimited amounts of fruit, nuts and bagels for players. However, schools could not provide free cream cheese or other toppings for those bagels. Seriously, that was the interpretation of the rule on the books. Last week, the NCAA announced that it was re-interpreting that rule and now bagel toppings such as butter, cream cheese, peanut butter, etc. can also be provided to players in unlimited quantities.

Sounds good … until you ask yourself how the NCAA might react to a school that provides half-bagels (not bagels) topped with pizza sauce, cheese, pepperoni and sausage. Hey, cream cheese used to be an “NCAA banned substance”; now we will need a set of rules that apply to half-bagels.

Nero supposedly fiddled while Rome burned; the NCAA is focused on bagel toppings while they are being sued for using the likenesses of college athletes without license to make money for the NCAA and its member schools. At the same time, the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania is suing the NCAA on anti-trust grounds (although the arguments of the Commonwealth sound pretty lame to this layman). Those are potentially huge problems facing the NCAA and what we have are re-interpretations of rules about bagel toppings. Cue up the violin section…

Speaking of NCAA rules consider this one, which underwent modification recently:

“An institution’s head coach is presumed to be responsible for the actions of all assistant coaches and administrators who report, directly or indirectly, to the head coach. A head coach shall promote an atmosphere of compliance within his or her program and shall monitor the activities of all assistant coaches and administrators involved with the program who report, directly or indirectly, to the coach.”

I have no problem at all with the first sentence here; the head coach should be responsible for the actions of his underlings as they apply to football activities. Obviously, the head coach is not responsible for speeding tickets his assistants might accumulate; however, with regard to any actions related to the team or to recruiting or to academics for players, the assistants and the head coach should be jointly responsible.

I have no problem with the second sentence either.

I do have an observation and some questions to ask once you put the two sentences together and make it into a rule where violation of the rule may incur penalties:

    Observation: If I am to believe head coaches, their current responsibilities consume each of their waking hours. [Aside: Recall that Mack Brown at Texas complained about the time he had to devote to working with folks at The Longhorn Network sometime last year.] Now they will have the responsibility to monitor all the activities of about a dozen assistants who may be in 4 different time zones at any given instant. A head coach may need to hire an assistant coach in charge of monitoring the other assistant coaches and then to report to him – except that would just give him one more assistant to monitor…

    Questions: If the head coach is responsible – and presumably accountable – for all this stuff, just what is the Athletic Director responsible for? Same goes for the various Vice Presidents at colleges and the University Presidents too. Given this new rule, do those folks bear any responsibility here?

Recently, a new “reality” show made its debut on one of the networks I never watch. This one is called Hits and Mrs.; it stars Pete Rose along with his much younger fiancée who just happens to have been a Playboy Playmate. The idea behind the program is to show us to watch the couple as they move ahead to marriage and to see how Kim’s two kids blend into this impending family unit. I tried to watch the first episode just because the premise was so preposterous and managed to last a few moments until I had enough of watching Rose stare at Kim’s boobs and then touch one of them for no particular reason.

Here is my bottom line on this program:

    1. The well of creativity for the program ran dry after they came up with the name Hits and Mrs.

    2. If you thought Pete Rose was a lying weasel before this program, you can now think of him as a perverted lying weasel.

    3. Do not bother to tune into this program.

    4. I feel sorry for those two kids.

Bud Selig is now in a position to do a monumental service to Western Civilization. He should call Pete Rose and offer the following deal:

    Selig will life Rose’s banishment from baseball immediately in return for …

    Cancellation of this TV series and the destruction of all copies of the video shot to create the programs.

Brad Rock had this item in a column in the Deseret News a week ago:

“The Nude Olympics are set to begin Sunday in Australia.

“Sources say a big turnout is expected, though for some reason the number of participants in the fencing competition is down.”

Finally, here is a headline from The Onion.com:

“Adrian Peterson re-tears ACL in preparation for 2013 season.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

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