The Sports Curmudgeon®

It looks as if today’s rant will just be a collage of unrelated observations so let me begin with an observation I made once before. As I was watching the Packers/Niners game last weekend, I had this thought every time I saw DuJuan Harris’ name in one of the screen graphics:

If DuJuan Harris had been born as half of a set of twins, might his mother have named his sibling DuOddaJuan?

If my math is correct, since the start of the 1997 NFL regular season, the Dallas Cowboys regular season record is 128-128. Over that period of time, the Cowboys’ playoff record is 1-6. Question:

Might it be time to look for another team to carry the label, “America’s Team”?

On the other hand, maybe the Cowboys are the perfect example of “America’s Team” since they clearly show no bias toward winning or losing. Hmmm…

ESPN’s Stuart Scott tweeted that his cancer “has reared its ugly head again”. I have been critical of Stuart Scott’s style on ESPN more than a few times in the past. Nonetheless, I want to make it clear that I wish cancer on just about nobody. Reports say that Scott is taking chemotherapy every other week. He may not be my favorite ESPN reporter/host, but I wish him a full and speedy recovery.

Here is a comment from Conan O’Brien on why he felt no need to watch the BCS Championship game between Alabama and Notre Dame:

“I was home for the holidays, so I’ve had quite enough of the Fighting Irish.”

Despite their furious second-half rally, the Seattle Seahawks’ season came to an end against the Falcons last weekend. I thought the final play of the game demonstrated the symmetry of the universe and a cosmic need for closure. Recall that on the final play, the Seahawks launched a Hail Mary pass into the end zone and it was intercepted by Julio Jones. Go back in your mind to the Seahawks/Packers game on September 24 – the one that brought on the demise of the replacement referees – and recall that the Seahawks won that game on a blown call by those referees on a Hail Mary pass with no time left. If indeed there were a cosmic need for closure, then the cause and effect of karma would seem to be at work here…

With people anxiously awaiting the Lance Armstrong/Oprah Winfrey interview, consider this suggestion from Ron Judd in the Seattle Times for a question Oprah might ask:

“If you were a tree, what kind of illegal performance-enhancing fertilizer would you inject into your roots?”

Mentioning Lance Armstrong reminds me of PEDs and that brings to mind a report that baseball will now expand it testing program to include in-season tests for human growth hormone. Greg Cote of the Miami Herald figured out what the testing protocol will need to be:

“Players will be tested at random, or if they gain more than 30 pounds between at-bats.”

The Jets have fired their offensive coordinator – again. Last year, it was Brian Schottenheimer who took the fall because the Jets’ offense was anemic; this year Tony Sparano is clearly the guilty party. Reports say that the Jets have interviewed Cam Cameron, Hue Jackson and Marty Mornhinweg for the job. [There may be others; I have not tried to follow this story closely by any stretch of the imagination.] That is an interesting list..

Cam Cameron was fired late last year as the offensive coordinator of the Ravens at a time when the Ravens’ offense was floundering. He was criticized for not utilizing Ray Rice sufficiently or properly.

Hue Jackson had one year as the head coach of the Raiders and one-year stints as offensive coordinator with the Redskins, Bengals and Falcons all of which were undistinguished.

Marty Mornhinweg has been the offensive coordinator for the Eagles for the last 7 years and is a “West Coast offense guy” coming from the Mike Holmgren/Andy Reid school of offense.

Granted that Rex Ryan is not focused on the team’s offense, but the last time we heard him expound an offensive philosophy, it was “ground and pound”. None of those three guys has any history that might indicate even a rudimentary basis for designing a “ground and pound” offense. Ergo, the Jets must be planning to adapt their offense to something completely different [/Monty Python] or they are about to try to jam a square peg in a round hole within their coaching staff. Stand by…

I mentioned Tony Sparano getting the axe by the Jets above. The rumor mill has it that Sparano will join Andy Reid’s KC Chiefs’ staff as the offensive line coach although I can find no verification of that rumor as of this morning. Sparano has a lot of experience at the collegiate and NFL levels but if he takes that job it would not give him the most positive career arc considering that he is only 52 years old and presumably has another decade of coaching ahead of him. Consider:

Offensive Line Coach … Dallas … 2003 – 2006

Assistant Head Coach … Dallas … 2007

Head Coach … Miami … 2008 – 2011

Offensive Coordinator … NY Jets … 2012

Offensive Line Coach … KC … 2013 ??

That sure does appear to be a career that has peaked…

Finally, here is one more observation from Greg Cote in the Miami Herald:

“Miami Jai-Alai opened its 86th season. Roster is again led by top player Goikoetxea, who is best known for constantly having his name misspelled.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………