The St. Louis Rams are going exactly nowhere on offense this year. They have played Marc Bulger at QB; they have played Kyle Boller at QB; and the Rams score about as frequently as The Elephant Man. The third string QB on the depth chart is a guy from West Texas A&M named Keith Null. So, here is my question:
If the Rams decide to find out if Keith Null can actually play at the NFL level and start him at QB and if the Rams score no points in that game, would I be wrong to conclude that the Rams’ offense is officially:
Null and Void?
After Sunday’s loss to the KC Chiefs, Redskins’ head coach Jim Zorn was “relieved of his play-calling duties” ostensibly so he could focus on coaching the QBs and on sideline game management. Absent a miraculous change in fortunes for the Skins, this is a prelude to Zorn’s firing sometime between next weekend and January 4, 2010 – - the day after this NFL regular season ends. The bigger question is who made the decision to “strip” Jim Zorn of these duties. The official announcement said that it came from a meeting between Zorn and Vinny Cerrato – the team’s nominal GM.
You would have to conclude that this came from higher up in the organization than Zorn himself – - someone who would be significantly complicit in assembling the players that make up the roster that made this decision thinkable in the first place. That would pretty much reduce the universe of possibilities to Vinny Cerrato and Little Danny Boy Snyder himself. If it was Danny Boy, then he was a weasel in that he did not think it was necessary or even courteous to do this in person. If that is the case, he sent his lackey, Vinny Cerrato – - aka The World’s Most Uninteresting Man – - to do the job.
Lest you think this could not possibly be the way it went down, allow me to recall for you just how Jim Zorn was hired in the first place. When Joe Gibbs threw up his hands and resigned as the head coach of the Skins, Danny Boy and Vinny set out to find a replacement. Rather than focus on getting a head coach who might then assemble his coaching staff, they saw that Gibbs had signed all of his assistants to contracts that were longer than the one he had, so the team owed those 20 or so guys a pot-load of money. They did not fire lots of them but they did go out and hire an offensive coordinator on their own before they had a head coach. That guy was Jim Zorn and it was a promotion for him; he had never been a coordinator before; he had been the QBs coach for the Seattle Seahawks.
After lots of fits and starts and plenty of opportunities for Danny Boy to see his name in the paper as he “searched” for a head coach, it started to become clear that coaches with top shelf résumés were not interested in:
a. Taking a job where the staff was already in place without their input – - and
b. Working in an environment where the folks “upstairs” would think that was even remotely like a good idea.
And so, Vinny and Danny elevated Jim Zorn not just to offensive coordinator, they made him the head coach AND the offensive coordinator. Oh, and he was the QBs coach too. Now, a year and a half later, they come to the conclusion that this guy is swamped and perhaps a tad over his head. What they don’t seem to be yet ready to admit is that the roster of overpaid and pampered players they assembled might be able to win 9 games in a season with a top shelf coach – - no more than that. But now that they have interfered with the team in yet another novel way, they are making it even more difficult for them to hire a top shelf coach next January without alienating other NFL owners by setting a salary scale for coaches that is even more ridiculous than the one in place today.
At the moment, I am willing to put some of the blame on Vinny and some on Danny Boy for the mess the franchise is in. Danny Boy is the meddling owner who does not know his ass from a kicking tee when it comes to football; Vinny is the sycophantical enabler.
I mentioned above that the Skins’ roster is made up of overpaid pampered guys. Think about this; a few years ago, Randy Moss – still with the Vikes – left the sidelines of a game in which the Vikings trailed with about 4 seconds to play. He was excoriated for that; it showed what an egomaniac he was; it showed he was not a “team guy”. Anyone remember that? Well, in yesterday’s loss to the Chiefs, Albert “The $100-million Man” Haynesworth left the team on the sideline and reportedly “sprinted” to the clubhouse before the game was over. Anyone want to bet that someone in the Skins’ organization chewed his ass out? I doubt that. The Skins’ organization is the one that puts the “dys” in “dysfunctional”.
The Bears lost to the Falcons in the Sunday Night Football game by a TD. If you want to know why the Bears lost, just check out their “Red Zone Productivity”:
Trip #1: Threw an interception.
Trip #2: Scored a TD.
Trip # 3: Lost a fumble. (Actually, they fumbled twice on consecutive running plays inside the 1-yard line. Sheesh!)
Trip #4: Turned the ball over on downs.
Now that the Jets have lost three games in a row – - after starting the season with three straight wins – - is it possible that Rex Ryan is not as smart or as clever as he thinks he is and proclaims that he is? Alternatively, is it possible that Mark Sanchez perhaps is not the second coming of John Unitas…? Given the NY media, I wonder how long before someone there starts asking those kinds of questions…
Finally, here is something from Dwight Perry in the Seattle Times regarding a stadium promotional event:
“NBC’s Conan O’Brien, on free prostate exams at Yankee Stadium: ‘Of course, fans felt a little cheated because the Yankees advertised it as Glove Night.’ “
But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…