Job Opening At MLBPA

First, I need to correct an error from a couple of days ago. I said then that my math had the Red Sox record at 306-194 during their 500-game sellout streak. The “Houston gentleman” who is a font of sports stats sent along the following e-mail:

“Going back to May 15, 2003 when the Red Sox streak began, they are 327-173 according to an AP article.”

I suspect the reference to the AP article is there at least in part to make me feel better about my math errors. I am also sure that he has this information in some database that he maintains just because…

The big baseball news is that Donald Fehr has announced that he will step down as the head of the MLBPA before the start of the next baseball season. Tell the truth; are you going to miss his highly entertaining presence at news conferences and Congressional hearings in the future? I shall not. Many people think that Donald Fehr is a towering figure in the sporting world who has made things better as a result of his actions. I agree that he is a towering figure; and in a sense, he has been hugely successful representing his “clients” – the baseball players. I have never thought – nor do I think now in the afterglow of his retirement announcement – that he has made things better.

Financially, the baseball players have thrived under Donald Fehr’s leadership; there is no question about it. The average salary in baseball has risen about 1000% in the last 25 years. Would that a similar situation had obtained with me for the final 25 years of my career… In that dimension, Donald Fehr was supremely successful and beneficial to his clients. A cynic might say that the fact that Donald Fehr’s recompense was tied to the average salary of a baseball player explains his seeming monomaniacal focus on that aspect of his job to the exclusion of most others. But perhaps that hypothetical cynic is indeed a realist…

Outside his singularly outstanding area of success – compensation for the players – Donald Fehr was an obstructionist. You can blame a lot of people for averting their eyes as steroid use – - an illegal practice since the substances being used were illegal substances – - crept into baseball and spread like soft butter throughout the game. Nonetheless, as soon as someone began to suggest testing the players, it was Donald Fehr who came up with the argument that it would be an invasion of their privacy for the players to subject themselves to testing. That same stance is still in vogue when it comes to blood testing which is why there is no testing for human growth hormone at this time. Know that such an argument is fabricated; there are jobs/professions in the US where employees can be tested randomly for drugs as a condition of their employment. I once had such a job…

Maybe the fact that steroids got players bigger contracts and that put more money in the Fehr checking account came into play there? I don’t know; I don’t read minds. I do know that with his obstructionism he delayed testing several years, which maintained a workplace for his clients that was more dangerous to their long-term health than it had to be. Continued steroid use outside of a physician’s supervision can really damage a human organism. Donald Fehr caused that situation to obtain and to flourish longer than it needed to.

Let me get a couple other things out on the table here. The infamous list of 104 players who failed drug tests in 2003 that was never to be made public resided with the MLBPA. If it was indeed the MLBPA’s sworn duty to maintain the anonymity and privacy of those 104 members of the MLBPA, then it was the union that failed. If Donald Fehr is to receive accolades for advancing union causes, he needs to take a major shot for this debacle.

Oh, and by the way, it was Donald Fehr – - NOT Bud Selig – - who “cancelled the 1994 World Series”. It was the players who walked out on the season in the middle of 1994; the owners did not lock them out. It was the players who did not return to work in time for a World Series. Donald Fehr made that happen; it was in his power to avoid that happenstance; he led the union in such a way that there was no World Series.

Nepotism seems not to bother Donald Fehr all that much either. His brother has been one of the “day-to-day negotiators” of the last two CBAs with the owners. I doubt that DeMaurice Smith’s son is the CFO for the NFL Players Union…

I had hoped that one day Donald Fehr might have to resign under some kind of cloud of impropriety because I wanted to use as the headline for that day’s rant, “Fehr Strikes Out”. That won’t happen now. Too bad. So allow me to reiterate something that I have said before about Donald Fehr and his sidekick, Gene Orza:

    Fehr and Orza are – indisputably – four letter words.

Recall a few years ago when the NCAA political correctness tribunal decided that the College of William and Mary would be allowed to retain its nickname – The Tribe – but that it had to change its logo because it had two feathers depicted on the logo that might offend someone somewhere. As a result, the school is in the process of coming up with a new mascot to go along with a new logo and it is hard for a mascot – singular – to be a tribe – plural. There have been several hundred suggestions made to the College President; one of the suggestions is a spear of asparagus. That would be a good idea since that would not offend any vegans anywhere. It would also be a good mascot because they could dress him/her up as a spear and have the costume designed such that the asparagus had a cheese sauce on it. With William and Mary’s colors being green and gold, that would look right.

In case you aren’t buying any of that, neither am I. Having an asparagus spear as a mascot is no better than having an animated flake of dandruff as a mascot.

Finally, Scott Ostler posed a series of rhetorical questions in a recent column in the SF Chronicle: [I really like the last one…]

“We can put a man on the moon, so why can’t the man be Jose Canseco?”

“If A-Rod is suffering from exhaustion, where’s his cousin?”

“If a winning team helps build community spirit and morale in hard times, shouldn’t a lousy team be declared a menace to society?”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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  • Ric  On June 24, 2009 at 11:40 am

    I always thought the whole privacy thing was a joke.
    I served 20 years in the US military and we were subjected to random test.

    The amazing thing was a friend of mine got a part time job at Blockbusters and on the application it stated that a condition of employment by Blockbuster was that you agreed to random drug test.

    So feel good in the fact that your local Blockbuster employee is drug free. Now about your local MLB player I can’t say that.

  • Rich  On June 24, 2009 at 12:47 pm

    By standing up for his clients’ privacy rights with regard to drug testing Donald Fehr has rendered the Whizzanator obsolete. I would put that high up on his list of accomplishments.

  • JJC  On June 24, 2009 at 7:09 pm

    Ooohhh, I can be an obstructionist! I have a brother that likes Baseball! Time to fax my resume, once I finish targeting it for that gig.

    Of all the things in the universe that one can use to represent your, um, tribe, I can’t imagine asparagus even if weaponized into a spear. It’s just soft. It’s not even the first plant life I would have picked. At least something dangerous like from the bramble family.

  • The Sports Curmudgeon  On June 25, 2009 at 8:31 am


    I used to referee basketball at the high school and at the recreation league level. I was subject to random drug screening there.


    If the Whizzonator is indeed obsolete, then Ontarrio Smith never got the memo.


    If you get the job with MLBPA, I promise always to compare you favorably to Donald Fehr.

    I wonder if the person who originally suggested the asparagus spear really has it in his/her mind to make the mascot into a giant phallic symbol on the sidelines. If that is actually the case, then please scratch my suggestion that the costume include a dash of cheese sauce…

  • Ed  On June 25, 2009 at 3:14 pm

    Let the NCAA get the stones to go tell Notre Dame that is an offensive stereotype. Then they might get credibility. Look at the Curse of the Red Storm. St John’s was an NCAA basketball power, even briefly #1 in the 80s, with the Mullinses, Berrys, etc. changed from the Redmen to the Red Storm and changed from top rank to just rank….

  • The Sports Curmudgeon  On June 25, 2009 at 10:24 pm


    The NCAA rarely takes on the powerhouse teams. That is why the USC/Reggie Bush situation is so interesting and why the USC/OJ Mayo is not a trivial matter even though USC hardly enjoys a storied history in college basketball.

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