In addition to the comments on the website adding items to the list I produced yesterday of things I just do not care about, I got some e-mails suggesting other items:
One gentleman took exception to my statement that sex was not a spectator sport and said that XXX Rated Movies were interesting but that watching real people having sex was not interesting. Sorry, I think that is a distinction without a difference; I find both uninteresting.
Another gentleman – a physicist and a proud alumnus of Florida State University – suggested four things that can be on the list:
1. “Mind numbing discussions by old, tired, past-their-prime guys at half time.” [No problem adding that one…]
2. “Televised celebrity sports of any type.” [No problem adding that one…]
3. “Cage fighting unless to the death.” [Agree that cage fighting is hugely uninteresting but I doubt that adding a “death dimension” would be sufficient to make it interesting.]
4. “Discussions of the alleged bad acts by the Criminoles, unless they are winning.” [Clearly this is too self serving to be allowed on the list…]
Of course, I should have known that Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times would come up with a clever retort:
“Deer hunting would be a participatory sport, except the deer haven’t been told they’re participating.”
Sports fans around the world can sleep well tonight knowing that the International Olympic Committee continues its vigilance to make sporting events happen on a level playing field. Those ever watchful folks announced that they have determined that six Olympians from the Summer Games of 2008 used CERA – an “advanced version” of EPO, the blood doping hormone. They announced this in the context of a success for their testing program. Excuse me, but those competitions ended about 9 months ago; the winners have their adulation; the losers have come to grips with the fact that they did not win. Ergo, all that these tests prove is that the original testing program was not nearly as good as the IOC flacks would have had you to believe. The only way they should be permitted to trumpet this as a success is if they hang a giant sign reading “FAILURE” on everyone and everything that was involved in the original testing program 9 months ago.
In case you have been tempted to call the police and report all the members of the LPGA Tour as missing persons, they are still alive and well. They have been out of sight for a while since staging their last tournament in the US on the same weekend that the NCAA Final Four happened. They were off for 2 weeks and played in Mexico last week and are off again this week. The LPGA has had to cancel several tournaments this year due to sponsors withdrawing support in this economic climate.
Here is another very bad economic indicator related to sports. Hollywood Park – not a minor racetrack in any way – had to cancel its racing card for today because there were not enough horses entered to conduct racing. According to a report in the LA Times the track extended the deadline for entries into today’s potential racing card for 48 hours and still they could not card more than six races for the day. A track official said:
“There is a shortage of horses. It may be the economy. Investing in horses is an expensive proposition.”
This news comes on the heels of an announcement by Del Mar that it would cut back its race days from six days a week to five days a week this summer. Del Mar on the West Coast and Saratoga on the East Coast traditionally run well-attended race meets in the summer with plenty of stakes races and lots of two-year-old racing. If those tracks suffer shortages, the industry is in even more serious trouble than I think it is.
Jeremy Tyler is a 17-year old high school junior who plans to skip his senior season in high school and go play pro basketball in Europe. Obviously, this has caused lots of people to come down with the vapors. I don’t think this is a huge problem – – so long as the people advising Jeremy Tyler to do this are looking out for HIS best interests and not THEIR best interests. Bob Molinaro wrote an excellent column on why we need to “cut Tyler some slack” in this matter; I commend it to your reading:
Meanwhile, I read somewhere else – but have lost the link to the source – a comment from Jeremy Tyler about his decision to play in Europe next year and not continue on to college here in the US:
“…nowadays, people look to college for more off-the-court stuff versus being in the gym and getting better.”
Ah yes, that “off-the-court stuff” perhaps to include classes, books and exams – those annoying things that intrude on a student-athlete pursuing the improvement of his game… When will those NCAA busybodies get out of the way?
Franz Kafka’s literary works describe the futile struggles of people situated in a universe dominated by absurdity and hopelessness. The starting QB for Northwestern next year is named Kafka; how appropriate is that?
Finally, here is another item from Dwight Perry in the Seattle Times:
“Fat people contribute a disproportionate share of the CO2 gas emissions that lead to global warming, according to scientists at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine.
“NASCAR, sensing a windfall profit, is already pushing for a U.N. resolution on restrictor plates.”
[Aside: If this study is correct, might it not be in The Planet’s best interest if the leading guru on global warming – – Al Gore – – mixed in a salad or took the stairs once in a while…???]
But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…