Adding To Yesterday’s List…

In addition to the comments on the website adding items to the list I produced yesterday of things I just do not care about, I got some e-mails suggesting other items:

    One gentleman took exception to my statement that sex was not a spectator sport and said that XXX Rated Movies were interesting but that watching real people having sex was not interesting. Sorry, I think that is a distinction without a difference; I find both uninteresting.

    Another gentleman – a physicist and a proud alumnus of Florida State University – suggested four things that can be on the list:

      1. “Mind numbing discussions by old, tired, past-their-prime guys at half time.” [No problem adding that one…]

      2. “Televised celebrity sports of any type.” [No problem adding that one…]

      3. “Cage fighting unless to the death.” [Agree that cage fighting is hugely uninteresting but I doubt that adding a “death dimension” would be sufficient to make it interesting.]

      4. “Discussions of the alleged bad acts by the Criminoles, unless they are winning.” [Clearly this is too self serving to be allowed on the list…]

    Of course, I should have known that Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times would come up with a clever retort:

    “Deer hunting would be a participatory sport, except the deer haven’t been told they’re participating.”

Sports fans around the world can sleep well tonight knowing that the International Olympic Committee continues its vigilance to make sporting events happen on a level playing field. Those ever watchful folks announced that they have determined that six Olympians from the Summer Games of 2008 used CERA – an “advanced version” of EPO, the blood doping hormone. They announced this in the context of a success for their testing program. Excuse me, but those competitions ended about 9 months ago; the winners have their adulation; the losers have come to grips with the fact that they did not win. Ergo, all that these tests prove is that the original testing program was not nearly as good as the IOC flacks would have had you to believe. The only way they should be permitted to trumpet this as a success is if they hang a giant sign reading “FAILURE” on everyone and everything that was involved in the original testing program 9 months ago.

In case you have been tempted to call the police and report all the members of the LPGA Tour as missing persons, they are still alive and well. They have been out of sight for a while since staging their last tournament in the US on the same weekend that the NCAA Final Four happened. They were off for 2 weeks and played in Mexico last week and are off again this week. The LPGA has had to cancel several tournaments this year due to sponsors withdrawing support in this economic climate.

Here is another very bad economic indicator related to sports. Hollywood Park – not a minor racetrack in any way – had to cancel its racing card for today because there were not enough horses entered to conduct racing. According to a report in the LA Times the track extended the deadline for entries into today’s potential racing card for 48 hours and still they could not card more than six races for the day. A track official said:

“There is a shortage of horses. It may be the economy. Investing in horses is an expensive proposition.”

This news comes on the heels of an announcement by Del Mar that it would cut back its race days from six days a week to five days a week this summer. Del Mar on the West Coast and Saratoga on the East Coast traditionally run well-attended race meets in the summer with plenty of stakes races and lots of two-year-old racing. If those tracks suffer shortages, the industry is in even more serious trouble than I think it is.

Jeremy Tyler is a 17-year old high school junior who plans to skip his senior season in high school and go play pro basketball in Europe. Obviously, this has caused lots of people to come down with the vapors. I don’t think this is a huge problem - - so long as the people advising Jeremy Tyler to do this are looking out for HIS best interests and not THEIR best interests. Bob Molinaro wrote an excellent column on why we need to “cut Tyler some slack” in this matter; I commend it to your reading:

Meanwhile, I read somewhere else – but have lost the link to the source – a comment from Jeremy Tyler about his decision to play in Europe next year and not continue on to college here in the US:

“…nowadays, people look to college for more off-the-court stuff versus being in the gym and getting better.”

Ah yes, that “off-the-court stuff” perhaps to include classes, books and exams – those annoying things that intrude on a student-athlete pursuing the improvement of his game… When will those NCAA busybodies get out of the way?

Franz Kafka’s literary works describe the futile struggles of people situated in a universe dominated by absurdity and hopelessness. The starting QB for Northwestern next year is named Kafka; how appropriate is that?

Finally, here is another item from Dwight Perry in the Seattle Times:

“Fat people contribute a disproportionate share of the CO2 gas emissions that lead to global warming, according to scientists at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine.

“NASCAR, sensing a windfall profit, is already pushing for a U.N. resolution on restrictor plates.”

    [Aside: If this study is correct, might it not be in The Planet’s best interest if the leading guru on global warming - - Al Gore - - mixed in a salad or took the stairs once in a while…???]

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

I Just Do Not Care…

Recently, I had the opportunity to break bread with an old friend – a long-term reader of these rants – and his new significant other. As the conversation evolved, she asked me if I cared about a variety of sports and I always answered that I did - - even if some of the minor sports commanded a smaller degree of caring than others. Finally, she asked if there were any things in the sports world that I didn’t care about. When I answered in the affirmative, she seemed surprised and asked for examples. That led to a discussion, which led to making a list of “Things I Just Do Not Care About”. And that list gave birth to this rant.

With the NFL Draft fresh in my mind, the very first thing I mentioned that went on the list was “Mock Drafts”. There was a time when one or two people did Mock Drafts late in the week leading up to the Actual Draft. Those were interesting to a degree because they were “different”, the people doing the mock drafts were presumed to be knowledgeable, and the Actual Draft was imminent. All of that is so horribly diluted now by the presence of Mock Drafts written by thousands of people who possess degrees of knowledgeability that are undecipherable. Compounding that horror is the fact that you can go looking now for draft orders for the 2010 NFL Draft such that all you need do is plug in the NFL teams in the reverse order of their finish for 2009 and get the first round for April 2010. Categorically, let me say that there is no value to such things other than to contribute to the entropy death of the universe. I just do not care…

As a corollary to Mock Drafts, I no longer care about “Bracketology”. I do not recall when it was that I read my first projected NCAA basketball brackets this season but it was within a week either way of New Year’s Day. That is too much blather and babble to maintain interest. It got to the point that whenever I heard someone on radio or TV prattle on regarding the projected brackets, I thought to myself how much nicer it would be to wait until that certain Sunday evening and to allow the doings of the Selection Committee to manifest themselves. I just do not care…

The WNBA regular season and its playoffs are simply uninteresting. I just do not care…

The NHL regular season and the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs constitute a set of contests that go on for far too long involving far too many teams that mean nothing to me or to the majority of sports fans in North America. I just do not care…

The NBA regular season represents about six months of ennui punctuated by a few seconds of real excitement randomly strewn throughout that time span. I just do not care…

Sideline reporters have even less likelihood to produce something interesting/compelling than does a random NBA regular season game. The same goes for “news conferences” with a golfer who just won a tournament, the owner/trainer/jockey of a horse that just won a major race, the owner of a team that just won the World Series or the Super Bowl or anyone from the NCAA speaking about the wonderful “student-athletes”. I just do not care…

If someone is in a fantasy league for any sport from baseball to NASCAR to the Iditarod, I really do not care about your team or how you went through the analysis to select your team or what your standing in your imaginary league may be. I do not want to hear about it; I do not want to read about it. If I really were interested, I would have an analogous entry in a separate league - - but I do not have such an entry because I do not have a real interest. By the way, if I had an analogous entry in a separate league, you should not care about my team and I would not presume to bother you with stories about it. I just do not care…

National Signing Day – the day when high school seniors announce where they will go to college to play football – is less interesting to me than a treatise on dandruff in some obscure species of woodpeckers. I just do not care…

Televised poker was a curiosity – and therefore interesting – for a while about five years ago. In the intervening time, it has become so horrendously overexposed and with relentless reruns that it has become actively antagonistic. I enjoy reading Norman Chad’s syndicated sports column; he is creative and clever. Nonetheless, I want to throw a brick at him every time I see him on ESPN leading into yet another poker program. I just do not care…

At least televised poker had a moment in the sun when it was interesting. Televised fishing and televised deer hunting - - or hunting for any other species - - has never been particularly interesting and has not attained any level of interest as years go by. Poker, fishing and hunting are participatory events not spectator sports. [Aside: Sex is also not a spectator sport, which is why XXX Rated Movies are not of any interest to me.] I just do not care…

The poker craze on television followed a natural and predictable course. Once the producers had run out of WSOP events to show and had shown the same professional poker players participating in mind-numbingly repetitive tournaments taking place at different latitudes and longitudes, they fell back on a tried and true expansion formula. Let’s show celebrities playing poker and ask anyone who actually knows how to play poker to suspend their incredulity at the lack of ability of these celebrities. If you think I got tired of watching WSOP reruns, you have no idea how quickly and vehemently I tired of Celebrity Poker. The reason here is that it brings together two things I have no interest in - - televised poker and celebrities. Celebrities are interesting only when they exhibit the talents/abilities that make them worthy of notice in the first place. Celebrities in any other context are boring. I just do not care…

And so, as a logical consequence of my lack of interest in celebrities, let me highlight just a few here to give you sense of where my head is at:

    Anything Alex Rodriguez does or says outside the context of a baseball game is uninteresting.

    Athletes and celebrities have sex with one another so frequently that it is no longer news and no longer interesting.

    David Beckham is not interesting to an amazing degree. His off-the-pitch life has been uninteresting for a while; now he has created a drama about where he will actually play soccer and that drama is uninteresting too.

    Lance Armstrong was an inspirational story at first. Now he seems to be such an attention-whore that he has become uninteresting.

    Speaking of attention-whores, Danica Patrick took up residence in that zip code a while back. Think about how unimportant she is as an “athlete” any more; what do you read more about, her racing endeavors or her appearances in the SI Swimsuit Edition?

    And it should go without saying that Brett Favre’s career decisions and life vector are uninteresting.

    For all of these issues and the hundreds that are fundamentally the same - - where only the names change to expose the guilty, I just do not care…

I have two words for you here. Reality … Television. No, it is not. I just do not care…

While it may be a bit tangential here, let me also say for the record that I find Facebook, My Space and Twittering monumentally uninteresting. I just do not care…

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

Milton Bradley Warming Up?

Last weekend, Scott Ostler has this short comment in his column in the SF Chronicle:

“Milton Bradley, who woulda thought he’d already be suspended for bad behavior, and injured?”

Looking at the 2009 baseball season still in its infancy, Bradley has already been suspended for two games after he bumped an umpire; he went 1-23 at bat to start off the season, he has been injured and missed time due to a groin injury; he failed to run out a ground ball so the fans at Wrigley Field got on his case; and he has been refusing to speak to the media in Chicago. There hasn’t been a meltdown yet, but can we agree that the temperature in the core reactor is rising?

Bradley speaks only to “Cubs.com” – which as the name indicates is hardly a forum where he will be grilled regarding his less than sterling contributions to the team so far this year. It isn’t likely that a “reporter” from “Cubs.com” might ask Bradley how his performance to date combined with his behavior to date equates to the $30M contract that the Cubs gave him. To give you an idea of the kind of hard-hitting news that “Cubs.com” thinks is germinal to this matter, consider this two comments from Bradley that they passed along:

“I’m just not into negativity. I can see already that I’m going to be that guy, since nothing else is going on in here. ‘We’re going to harp on Bradley all year and see if we can get him to snap.’ I’m not going to go for it. You can’t get a good story if I don’t talk. So just go ahead and make something up and leave me out of it.”

“I’m a positive person, an upbeat person. I’m trying to focus on what I’m trying to do here. My teammates are behind me, and the more reporters get in my face, the more I talk, the more things get written the way I don’t say them or they’re taken out of context, and that’s when you lose teammates and you lose fans. The best strategy for me has always been to not say anything.”

Wow. Good thing he’s not into negativity. If he were, imagine how he might interact with the reporters in Chicago…

There is conflicting baseball news related to New York. The Yankees and Mets have been unable to sell out their new stadiums; first, Bud Selig “reviewed” the Yankees ticket pricing structure and pronounced it “reasonable”; later, he announced that both the Yankees and Mets were looking at ticket prices with an eye toward possibly reducing them to fill seats. Then the Yankees said that they were thinking of increasing the price of their premium seats by 4% next season.

Let me get this straight. Seats that individually cost up to $2625 per game are not selling. So, the best way to resolve that problem is to raise the price to $2730 next year? And those $900 tix will fly off the shelves when priced at $936?

The US Congress would love to be able to repeal some Laws that get in the way of the Congress doing some of the silly things that it thinks it ought to do - - trivial matters such as the First Law of Thermodynamics and the Law of Supply and Demand. The only way the Yankees putative ticket-pricing strategy for next year works out for the best is if that pesky Law of Supply and Demand goes by the wayside. Even Nancy Pelosi and Barney Frank working together cannot pull that one off…

When Curt Schilling retired, there was a feeding frenzy on sports radio and on SportsCenter about whether or not he deserved to be in the Hall of Fame - - as if that is something that needed to be pondered any time in the next five years. That feeding frenzy ran its course, but every time Curt Schilling posts something remotely noteworthy on his blog - - such as when he made his predictions for the AL East this year - - a sports radio host will use that opportunity to discuss Curt Schilling’s Hall of Fame credentials to fill up another 10-12 minute segment of the show.

    Memo to Sports Radio Hosts:

    1. I have heard all the arguments pro and con by now and need not hear them again.

    2. For those hosts hung up on the fact that Schilling has so many fewer wins than other “outsiders” such as Bert Blyleven, have you also considered that he has 51 more wins than Sandy Koufax? Does anyone believe that Koufax (only 165 wins) does not belong in the Hall of Fame?

I believe that Schilling’s “eccentricities” will hurt his Hall of Fame candidacy as much as his career stat line might. Not every baseball reporter who has a vote for the Hall of Fame loves Curt-Schilling-the-person for his off the field behaviors toward them. In case you think that never happens because Steve Carleton was a first ballot Hall of Fame inductee, consider the case of Dennis Rodman in basketball.

Rodman was part of five NBA championship teams; Rodman was the defensive player of the year twice; Rodman led the NBA in rebounding seven times. Nonetheless, you can count on one hand the number of times there has been a serious discussion of Dennis Rodman as a Hall of Fame player - - and you’d have at least four fingers left over. I don’t know if Dennis Rodman needs to be in the Hall of Fame nor do I care even a little bit if he is inducted, but I am convinced that the reason he is never even discussed in that context is that the people who vote for the basketball Hall of Fame are disenchanted with Dennis Rodman for his off the court antics and his “eccentricities”.

Finally, here is a comment from Jerry Greene of the Orlando Sentinel - - prior to his retirement of course:

“With cars and banks getting out of the sports advertising biz, booze is back. The Phoenix Coyotes hockey club had an offer where you buy a bottle of Smirnoff vodka and get a ticket to a game. Such a deal - be smashed before you get there. It’s not just hockey. At Wrigley Field, they just opened the Captain Morgan Club.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

The Silence You Hear Is The Passing Of The NFL Draft

The NFL Draft weekend had come and gone one more time. Even though it is hugely over-hyped, it is an important element in the building and maintenance of a franchise so I need to make a couple of comments about the draft. I will NOT, however, succumb to the temptation to give draft grades to teams. Any grading of a team’s 2009 draft roster is only an interim evaluation until about 2012.

Having said all that:

    The University of Miami has had players taken in the first round for 14 consecutive years until this year. No players from “The U” went on the first day of the draft this year.

    I said in my pre-draft analysis – in my new alter ego as The Couch Scout – that I did not think the Lions should select Matthew Stafford with the #1 pick. They did and they signed him to a contract that will guarantee him more than $41M. Actually, they really did have to make this pick once they released Jon Kitna; that left them with this depth chart at QB:

      Duante Culpepper - - huge question mark.

      Drew Stanton - - first career pass was a 1-yard TD; since then no more.

      Drew Henson - - 29 years old and zero meaningful experience at the NFL level

    Is Matt Millen looking smarter today than he did yesterday? I don’t know; but if the Lions had swerved everyone and drafted Michael Crabtree with the overall #1 pick, Lions’ fans might have started a petition drive to get Millen back and send this new front office team off on an ice floe.

    Looking at Vikings’ coach Brad Childress on the sidelines during a game, he often looks as if he has a terminal gas bubble in his gut. Somehow, I don’t think drafting Percy Harvin – a player who tested positive for MJ at the Combine knowing that he would be tested for it there and whose reputation for practicing rivals that of Allen Iverson – is going to give him a look of serenity.

    The Jaguars took two offensive tackles that the draftniks all said were top-shelf talent. Now, if the draftniks are correct …

If you want to read a really good column on the NFL Draft, go to Bernie Lincicome’s blog and read the entry from 4/24/09. Bernie explains there that one needs to have to learn to decipher “Draft-speak” and he gives lessons throughout the column. Here is one example to whet your appetite:

“Carl Jackson, DE, 6-3, 270, Oklahoma Abnormal-”Considered for the Lombardi Trophy, the Outland Trophy and the Heisman Trophy.” He won the Lipton Trophy for flow-through linemen.”

Last week, Frank Fitzpatrick had this item in his Morning Bytes column in the Philadelphia Inquirer:

“Say what? Another incomprehensible release that came across my desk:

” ‘RotoHog, the leading fantasy sports platform provider, today announced an exclusive partnership with RazorGator for the 2009 Baseball season. The partnership will give RotoHog’s Fantasy baseball participants access to RazorGator’s exclusive ticket inventory for live events, as well as other merchandising and promotional opportunities.’

    “1. Fantasy players don’t attend live events unless they’re taking place over their parents’ garages.

    “2. The only sports platform provider I’m familiar with manufactures diving boards.

    “3. Are RazorGators utilized in the slaughter of RotoHogs?

You will be glad to know that the NCAA has maintained its slavish devotion to avoid saying anything that might be offensive to anyone. Not satisfied with their campaign to try to get rid of potentially offensive team mascots and nicknames, the NCAA announced last week that it will recognize/sanction a new varsity intercollegiate sport. I shall leave the commentary to Greg Cote of the Miami Herald to fill you in fully:

“The Most Ridiculous Thing I Heard This Week, one in a series: The NCAA has sanctioned beach volleyball as a new sport but will call it ‘sand volleyball’ in fairness to land-locked schools.”

Finally, Scott Ostler was in a problem-solving mode last weekendin the SF Chronicle. Here is his free advice to the NY Yankees about how the team might solve that vexing problem of having those really expensive empty seats right behind home plate where they show up so clearly on TV:

“Dugouts, schmugouts: Let the players sit in the stands. Or, instead of sending slumping players to the minor leagues, option them to the Legends Suite.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

Kentucky Derby A Week Away - - Anyone Notice?

The Kentucky Derby is a week from tomorrow. Ten years ago, there would have been a general buzz about the race among sports fans; twenty five years ago, a significant number of sports fans would have had their “Derby Horse” picked out because they had been following his performance in prep races from January until the last week in April. This year it’s crickets…

If the Kentucky Derby cannot create a buzz amongst the sports fans who are not yearlong followers of horseracing, then there isn’t anything that will. The critical issue for the horseracing industry is that their loyal – even rabid – fanbase is aging quickly. That means that the Grim Reaper is harvesting a significant fraction of that loyal fanbase and there is no surge of interest in younger fans. The actual Kentucky Derby race this year will probably be similar to most of the other Kentucky Derbies of recent years. There will be a large field (Churchill Downs is limited to 20 runners); there will be a cavalry charge to get favorable position on the first turn; there will be a wall of tiring horses at the top of the stretch in front of any stretch runner who would try to catch those front runners that are still hanging on. Only the identities of the horses involved here will be different; and in 2009, there is a significant fraction of the sporting public who cannot name 4 horses who are Derby entries - - let alone how they have performed this year.

Racing has a ton of other problems too not the least of which is that racetracks are in danger of being razed and turned into real estate developments. Even in the down economy, that is a serious threat. Bay Meadows in California is closed and Hollywood Park could have a date with the wrecking ball at the end of its meeting in December 2009. One bidder for Pimlico and Laurel Park as a result of the Chapter 11 filing by Magna Entertainment Corp said explicitly that he wants to tear the tracks down and put up multi-use real estate developments. Here is a truism; even if someone miraculously solves the problem of attracting hordes of new fans, horseracing will not do very well if there are no tracks to hold the races.

By the way, the other huge event in horseracing is the Breeders’ Cup races in the Fall. They were at Santa Anita last year and by all accounts, it was a hugely successful weekend of racing. It is supposed to be there again this year - - except Santa Anita is another track affected by the Chapter 11 bankruptcy proceedings of its owner, Magna Entertainment Corp. The folks running the Breeders’ Cup want assurances that the track can indeed stage the events this Fall and they want it in time to make other plans. This could be another huge mess - - instead of a showcase for this troubled sport.

The NFL Draft is this weekend; it has moved into prime time; instead of starting at noon, it will begin at 4:00 PM EDT on Saturday. The NFL and ESPN have turned this event into a sports news juggernaut and one result is that NFL personnel people are now viewed as if they were actually doing something calculable with all of their charts and times and Wonderlic tests and other measures that appear to be meaningful because they are expressed in numbers. Here is a piece of history related to the NFL Draft:

    In 1985, the sixteenth overall pick in the draft was a young wide receiver named Jerry Rice. Fifteen teams decided not to take him. Arguably, Jerry Rice is the best WR in the history of the NFL; all he did was to be selected for the Pro Bowl 13 times. Fifteen teams did not think he could make an impact on their squad…

    By the way, in that same draft another wide receiver named Andre Reed was drafted in the third round with the 86th overall pick. Andre Reed will be in the Hall of Fame one of these years.

Remember these little facts when you hear people talking about how they did extensive work on whomever they picked and why they think he was the “best player available”. They do not always know what they are talking about…

Having said those less than kind things about the people who make draft day decisions in the NFL, I must admit that they have not yet been as embarrassed as Canadian Football League draft gurus must have been about 15 years ago when one of the teams - - I am 95% sure it was the Montreal Alouettes - - drafted a player who had died a couple of months prior to the draft. I admit that I have on occasion referred to a player taken in the NFL Draft who did not perform well at that level as “a stiff”, but a Canadian Football League team actually drafted a person known in the vernacular as “a stiff”.

While the teams are drafting new players, keep in mind that those players will become members of the NFLPA. About a month ago, the player reps from all the teams met and elected DeMaurice Smith to head up the NFLPA as a replacement for the deceased Gene Upshaw. There were several “finalists” for the job who had gone through a winnowing process and then there was the vote.

Yesterday, the LA Times reported that DeMaurice Smith has been working for the past six weeks without a contract with the NFLPA. His contract is still being negotiated; and so far, he has been paid nothing by the NFLPA despite the fact that he is “working 16 hour days” and seems to be available to anyone with a microphone or a camera or both. ESPN says that the issues are salary and contract duration. Gee whiz; is that all? That sounds like something the players who make up the NFLPA should be able to deal with; those are generally the issues that hang up their negotiations with teams.

My confusion here has to do with something other than contract terms, signing bonuses, and contract duration. The search for a new NFLPA Executive Director went on for about 3 months; perhaps as many as a half-dozen people received something more than a cursory glance by the NFLPA. Then there was a final review prior to the player reps voting in early March (as I recall). Yet, at the end of that entire process, no one associated with the NFLPA thought that it might be a good idea to state to the applicants just what the salary and benefits would be if they were the person selected for the position? Haven’t the players learned yet that these kinds of negotiations are good for them when they are the job-seekers but not such a wonderful thing when they are the job-fillers? DeMaurice Smith may have more issues on his plate in trying to run that organization than he may have imagined when he applied for the job…

Finally, here is a comment attributed to Warren Sapp that relates to the leadership qualities of the Raiders’ new coach:

“Tom Cable couldn’t lead the Raiders to a picnic in his own back yard.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

Blatant Racism

As a person of Italian extraction, I am not proud of today’s lead item. Juventus - - one of the top-shelf teams in Italian soccer in Serie A - - will have to play its next home game in front of no fans. The Italian Football Federation as a result of the last home game played by Juventus on 18 April imposed that ban. That game was against Inter Milan; and for the duration of the game, the Juventus fans hurled racial epithets and sang racially derogatory songs aimed at Mario Balotelli who is a native Italian and who is also Black.

On the field, the Italian Serie A is far superior to MLS in terms of the talent on each squad; in the stands, MLS is about a century ahead of the Italian league.

Speaking of MLS, the new franchise in MLS this year is the Seattle team, the Sounders. The franchise has caught on in Seattle; they have sold almost 20,000 season tickets and they have attracted about two dozen corporate sponsors including Microsoft who will pay to have the Sounders display the “X-Box 360 logo” on their jerseys. The Sounders have drawn 28,000 fans to one of their home games and 32,000 to another; they play at Qwest Field so they have plenty of room to expand that audience.

On Monday of this week, the Washington Nationals hosted the Atlanta Braves in Nationals Park. The announced attendance for that game was 12,473. Note that was the announced attendance and not necessarily the turnstile count. Last year, the smallest crowd for the Nats in their new playpen was 20,487. Folks, the bloom is off the rose. Here are three things to note in terms of Nats’ attendance:

    1. Last year the Nats said that they sold more than 20,000 season tickets. The club has chosen not to announce how many they sold this year or what the renewal rate was over the winter. Monday’s attendance may explain why they have not wanted to make such an announcement.

    2. Come September when the weather turns chilly, football season is about to start and the Nats have not played a meaningful game for the last 8 weeks, might the attendance drop into “4 figures”? Surely, the turnstile count will be in “4 figures” by then; I wonder if the announced crowds will also be there.

    3. DC United has averaged close to 20,000 fans per game for its MLS regular season schedule for the past 3 years. On the assumption that DC United attendance mirrors recent years, it is possible – albeit unlikely – that the MLS team in Washington could play in front of a higher average attendance than the MLB team in Washington.

I wonder how long it will be before it becomes undeniable to the MLB honchos that the Washington Nationals are indeed still the Montreal Expos except they are playing at a slightly more southerly latitude?

I read that William “the Refrigerator” Perry had been hospitalized and that he was in serious condition. Naturally, I assumed that it was some kind of coronary or vascular condition that put him there; he was a huge man when he played for the Chicago Bears and the Philadelphia Eagles 20 years ago and has not slimmed down to any extent since his retirement. Subsequent reports say that his problem is not his circulatory system; Perry is being treated for Guillain-Barre Syndrome, which is a chronic condition involving inflammation of peripheral nerves. This too is a serious condition but it is amenable to treatment/therapy more than half the time. According to a report in the Chicago Sun-Times, Perry’s family says that he has been treated for more than a week now and that he is doing much better. Amen…

According to a report in the LA Times, the Los Angeles Avengers of the Arena Football League withdrew from the league and disbanded. The Arena League canceled the 2009 season back around the first of the year with the idea that the league would restart in 2010 using a new “business model”. In the subsequent months, the league and the clubs within the league have not reached any conclusions regarding said new “business model”, yet the league was about to vote on a new collective bargaining agreement with its players union.

The owner of the Los Angeles Avengers thought that this was a bass-ackwards way to approach the financial shortcomings that drove the league into its suspended animation in the first place. When the league would not postpone the vote on the CBA, the Avengers withdrew from the Arena League and closed its doors. They are not the only team in the Arena League to fold in the recent past; the New Orleans Voodoo ceased to exist late last year.

Here is a factoid passed along to me by a reader. It is certainly not important but it can be useful when trading trivia bits with friends:

    Only one basketball coach in history has coached at Kansas University and had a losing record for his tenure there. That coach would be James Naismith - - merely the man who invented basketball in the first place.

Finally, here is a comment from Jim Armstrong of the Denver Post about the Washington Nationals - - a commentary from 2000 miles west of Washington DC:

“Some woman was bitten several times the other day after leaping into the polar-bear lair at a Berlin zoo. OK, so I’ll give you that. But name me one other thing more painful than watching the Nationals.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

Isiah Thomas Still Making News…

The hiring of Isiah Thomas as the head basketball coach at Florida International University continues to draw “less than fully positive” reviews from columnists around the country. Here is an item from Greg Cote in the Miami Herald – a local paper for FIU:

“FIU athletic director Pete Garcia reportedly did not even bother to speak to anyone from the New York Knicks when considering whether to hire Thomas. It is believed to be the most thorough vetting process since John McCain introduced Sarah Palin.”

In case you think that only “local papers” took note of this personnel move, consider this item from Dwight Perry in the Seattle Times – hardly a local paper for FIU:

“Isiah Thomas, having run the Continental Basketball Association and the NBA’s Raptors and Knicks into the ground, has been named head coach at FIU.

“FIU, in case you’re wondering, stands for Flubbed It Up.”

You just have to know that Messr. Perry had to think carefully to come up with the phrase “Flubbed It Up” because the more obvious word to use for the letter “F” would never have gotten past the editors in his fine family newspaper…

ESPN will part company with Stephen A. Smith; his contract expires in May and reports say that ESPN will not renew the deal. Smith is a controversial figure and his verbal style is easy to parody. Nevertheless, I have always thought he was a good reporter with good sources inside the NBA. When he wrote for the Philadelphia Inquirer, I used to look specifically to see if he had written anything on a given day. I have not yet seen any speculation as to where he will go next but I hope he surfaces somewhere very soon.

ESPN also announced that they have a deal with Matt Millen and that he will be part of the MNF programming. Most reports say he will replace Emmitt Smith for the studio portion of the programming along with Stuart Scott and Steve Young. Make all the jokes and nasty comments you want about how Millen was a disaster as GM of the Lions; Matt Millen is excellent on TV as an analyst and he will be so far above Emmitt Smith in that role that you can give him a new nickname - - Stratosphere.

There are some other reports that he might be in the booth for the game telecasts on MNF with no subsequent rumor as to which of the three incumbents might not be invited back. I like the MNF announcing crew as it is; I think Matt Millen has shown he can be excellent as a color analyst; so from my perspective, ESPN has an embarrassment of riches situation on its hands. I must say, however, that I hope they do not try to make it a four-man crew to do the games. That would not be fun to listen to…

By the way, if Millen does wind up as the studio analyst for MNF as most reports have it, what is the ESPN plan for Herm Edwards? From everything I ever heard from Herm Edwards, he is insightful, analytical, and articulate on the subject of football. It would seem to me that ESPN would want to highlight him on NFL programming and an MNF slot seemed to be so logical. Stay tuned…

Given that I firmly believe that the NFL schedule is coordinated to a large degree with the four “network partners”, I have to conclude that NBC must love the NFC East. I do not think they got the following line-up of games by accident for Sunday Night Football:

    Cowboys/Giants on 20 September
    Cowboys/Eagles on 8 November
    Cowboys/Redskins on 27 December

Some people think that I am unduly harsh on the Washington Nationals when I say things like they are a AAA team playing for major league prices in a new $612M stadium that is nice but nothing more than that and they cannot come close to filling it because Washington fans basically don’t give a rat’s patootie about baseball. Well, here is the headline from a column by Bob Molinaro of the Hampton Roads Virginian-Pilot:

“Nationals’ Blunders Vaults Team Into A New League – Comedy”

You should read the entire column - - it really is excellent - - to see what other observers think about this farcical franchise.

Both NY baseball teams have seen that the current economy will not allow them to fill their new stadiums at the outrageous prices that they seek to charge. Last Saturday, the Yankees played a home game on a day with nice weather here on the East Coast. They had more than 7,000 unsold tix and more than a few of those were the expensive ones right behind home plate - - assuring that every time the centerfield camera was on, the viewers stared at those empty blue chairs. On the same weekend, the Mets had more than 5,000 empty seats at CitiField.

New stadia should sell out for decent weather dates in their first year unless the teams stink (not the case with the Yankees or the Mets) or the fan base is indifferent (not the case in NYC but certainly the case in Washington DC). The problem in NY is that the prices for tickets would be exorbitant in good economic times and are over the line and into the range of “obscene” in these bad economic times.

Meanwhile, when you want to think about a franchise that just does not get it, consider the Atlanta Braves. Reports from Atlanta say that the Braves will add a surcharge of $2 on every ticket purchased by a fan who walks up to the ticket window and buys it on game day. The Braves are nowhere near selling out their stadium but they are going to provide an economic disincentive to fans who might make a last minute decision to come to see the game? How is that a good idea?

Once the game starts, those unsold tickets are worthless – as in worth not a single farthing. If anything, the Braves should reduce the prices for people who walk-up - - although that would make for logistical problems, so I understand why they might not do that. However, adding to the cost of a ticket at 5:00PM which will be worthless at 7:45PM makes no damned sense – particularly in a place notorious for being a bad sports town.

Finally, here is a comment from Greg Cote in the Miami Herald regarding tickets to another sporting event:

“UM [University of Miami] played host to the Atlantic Coast Conference track and field championships this past weekend. Admission was free, approximating public interest.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

NFL Draft Analysis - 2009

It is that time of year again. Mel Kiper, Jr. and all of his imitators and wannabe successors are in full throat. Fanboards for NFL teams all over the country are exploding with comments, analyses, rumors and wishful thinking regarding the impending NFL Draft. Here in Curmudgeon Central, it is time to get out the tattered notes from six months ago and to try to decipher the handwriting on said notes.

The NFL Draft is an annual ritual dedicated to the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Teams routinely ignore performance on the football field in college and are seduced by “workout wonders”; teams routinely ignore sociopathic behaviors on the part of players they want to draft thinking that demonstrated social misfits at the collegiate level will miraculously transform themselves into charismatic and productive team leaders in the NFL. [Memo to NFL GMs: No, they will not!] Moreover, to prove to you conclusively that the NFL Draft is anything but a science where all is predictable, Ray Lewis was 26th pick in the NFL Draft in 1996; 25 players were taken ahead of him that year. [BTW, the #1 overall pick that year was Keyshawn Johnson…]

For new readers, let me explain what you are about to read. I like college football and I watch a lot of college football on TV. During the season, I keep a small notepad next to me as I watch games and I make notes about players that I see who do things that make me think about them as prospects for NFL football - - the next level up. Now in the springtime, I gather up those notes and – assuming I can read them – try to put some perspective on them in terms of the NFL Draft. Think of this as the ramblings of an NFL “Scout” who never leaves his recliner and his TV remote except to get more guacamole dip and to release the beer that has made its way through the Scout’s system. With all due deference to syndicated columnist, Norman Chad, whose alter ego is The Couch Slouch, I am The Couch Scout. Marchons…

Obviously, my comments are biased toward players who went to “big schools” because they are the ones that are on TV most prominently. I never had the chance to see Montana Tech take on Eastern Oregon; there could be a couple of real diamonds in the rough on those squads and I would not recognize them in a line-up with any random WNBA team picture. I do not have a network of people around the country who feed me info and data on players – although a few readers do send me an e-mail about a local “prospect” they think is a good player and I include them here. I do not pretend that this is a comprehensive analysis.

More importantly, I may see a team play only one game and fail to recognize a star player doing anything memorable. Last year, I said that I had seen Ryan Clady’s team play but never bothered to write his name on my notepad - - despite the fact that he was a hot item leading up to the draft. A reader took me to task for that. Nevertheless, all I can say was that in the one game I saw him play, I did not notice that he was an excellent offensive tackle - - a fact that was borne out by his high draft status and his presence on the NFL All-Rookie Team.

Balancing that lack of insight on my part was my observation last year that I was unimpressed by Vernon Gholston. The Jets took him at #6 in the draft and got almost nothing from him in terms of on-field production. Gholston appeared in 15 games and made a total of 13 tackles; he is a disaster in pass coverage; he was a “healthy scratch” from one game last year. Gholston’s favorite number must be ZERO because that is the number of sacks, interceptions, defended passes, forced fumbles and fumbles recovered that he had as a linebacker last year.

Despite all these limitations, you will – based on previous incarnations of this annual feature – find a few names here that will represent lower round draft picks who will make an NFL squad and actually contribute to the teams that are paying them. It is an imperfect thing, but it is a lot more interesting to me than trying to come up with yet one more mock draft…

For fans of individual NFL teams, it is clearly important for your squad to avoid the “fabulous flame-out” draft pick such as a Ryan Leaf or an Akili Smith or a Tony Mandarich. At the same time, they need to avoid the less noticeable but equally debilitating effect that can happen to a team when they spend a high draft pick on someone like KiJana Carter, Heath Shuler, Tim Couch or Peter Warrick.

I will go through this by position and so I will start with the most important position on a football team - - -

Quarterbacks:

As a note of perspective here, let me quote what I said about Matt Ryan last year:

“Matt Ryan is the acclaimed best QB in the draft. My notes say ‘good arm but not great’, ‘accurate passer’, ‘mobility against college defenders will not translate to mobility in NFL’ and ‘not worth paying him QB money high in first round’. Obviously, I differ from the common wisdom here; so be it.”

OK, I was very wrong there. However, before you write me off as an unmitigated dumbass, here is what I had to say about Joe Flacco last year BEFORE the draft:

“I saw Delaware play in two of the Division 1-AA playoff games and was impressed with QB, Joe Flacco. He is not fleet afoot by any means but my notes say he is ‘huge’. Indeed, he is listed as 6’7” tall and he probably looked big by comparison because he was playing in Division I-AA games; but in addition to being physically large, he has a strong and accurate arm. Can he step in and be a starter in Game 1 of the 2008 NFL season? No. Can he be developed into a starter? I think so. Before he went to Delaware, he was at Pitt and left there because the Pitt folks picked someone else to be the starting QB there.”

Now with that all as background for imperfect analysis, the bottom line for quarterbacks in this 2009 draft is that I am truly underwhelmed.

    Matthew Stafford (Georgia) is the generally acknowledged “best QB in the draft”. My notes say nothing akin to that. My notes say “throws a lot of wobblers”, “floats the ball on out patterns” and “plays against top defenses but hardly dominates them”. In fact, Stafford did not lead Georgia to any level of glory in the SEC last year so I wonder how he is supposed to dominate NFL defensive opponents… Most assuredly, I would not take him with the first overall pick - - much as the Lions do need a competent QB. We shall see…

    Mark Sanchez (USC) is the other top flight QB in this draft. If you are someone tied to historical omens, here is a cautionary note for you. The last USC QB to leave the school with eligibility left on his plate to go to the NFL was Todd Marinovich. If you do not know how that worked out for the Raiders, you really should not be worrying a lot about how the draft can affect an NFL team positively or negatively. My notes on Sanchez say, “looks great on a team where every position on offense dominates the position across the line from it”. Come to think of it, the QB for Montana Tech – whoever that might have been – would look probably have looked good under those same circumstances…

    Chase Holbrook (New Mexico State) caused me to make these notes. “Huge QB but not like lumbering hulks such as J-Load” and “accurate passer even if his arm is not as strong as expected from someone that big.” Unless he is a dumb as a stone, he is worth taking in a late round to see if he can be developed into an NFL QB.

    Curtis Painter (Purdue) is likely to be taken in the draft because he is from the same school and system that Drew Brees came from - - and the NFL is indeed a copycat league. Purdue has also turned out some less than spectacular NFL QBs over the years [think Mark Herrman] but GMs will tend to ignore that this year. My notes on Painter say he is “big”, “more mobile than it first appears” and “less arm strength than I expected”. If taken, it should be late on the second day; anything above that is a real stretch. Remember, in a big game against Penn State last year, Painter was benched in the midst of that game.

    Rudy Carpenter, (Arizona State), Cullen Harper (Clemson) and Pat White (WVU) all had lots of hype and publicity last year. I saw all of them play and my notes boil down to this: “Way overrated…” I suspect if any team takes these guys they will make them the team’s designated highly paid clipboard carrier and visor model.

Wide Receivers:

With regard to wide receivers, NFL GMs probably wish that someone would invent the “Diva-Meter” so they might predict which of the current crop of collegiate WRs might turn into the next iteration of T.O. or Chad Ocho Cinco or Plaxico Burress or … I do not claim to have such a “Diva-Meter”, but I surely did see some WRs who have lots of physical skills…

    I liked Jeremy Maclin and Michael Crabtree from their games on TV - - as would most fans. My preference would be for Maclin, but both ought to be good picks in the top 15 of the draft. However, here is a cautionary note. There were loads of big offenses and monstrous passing attacks in the Big 12 last year; might some of that awesomeness be attributed to a lack of great pass defense in that conference? Running patterns against the defense of the Baylor Bears or the Kansas Jayhawks is just a tad different from running pass patterns against the defense of the Chicago Bears or the Baltimore Ravens.

    Darrius Heyward-Bey (Maryland) can certainly fly. My notes say that a team taking him in the first round might regret that pick. Here is what I have written down “dropped two passes that hit him on BOTH hands” and “does not block downfield effectively”. I would not take him until the second day of the draft…

    My notes say Percy Harvin (Florida) runs good routes, catches well and runs very well after the catch. He is not a large WR, but he is “really fast”. On physical skills, I’d take him high - - but with rumors that he tested positive for recreational drugs at the Combine and that his Wonderlic score was “less than a number in the teens”, he might be disappointing as a first round pick. But oh my, can he ever run…

    Derrick Williams (Penn State) is not the fastest WR in the draft this year but he is “football smart” and an “effective blocker on DBs and on LBs”. Taking him late in the second round or in the third round would make sense.

    Mohammed Massequoi (Georgia) prompted me to make this note, “tall and good hands”. I also wondered, “is he why Matthew Stafford is so successful as a QB?”

    I noted that Taurus Johnson played for USF - - a team known as the Bulls. That could not have been an accident, could it? I made no notes about him as a player - - meaning that I saw nothing to make me think he was likely to succeed at the NFL level. But his name caught my attention…

    I had one note on Marcus Everett (UCLA) saying “not real fast but very good hands; good in traffic; take in late rounds.”

    I must insert here some info that came to me via an e-mail from a reader in Texas back in December 2008:

    “Don’t be surprised if Johnnie Knox (Abilene Christian) gets a lot of notice as a draft pick as a WR and a kick returner next year. He has great speed and great hands. He was limited only by the quality of the quarterback that threw the ball to him … He might be a first round pick; he should be taken before the middle of the third round.”

    I do not know Johnnie Knox from Johnnie Be Good, Knox Gelatine or Fort Knox. However, the reader who sent me this has been reading these things for years now and this is the first time he has ever touted a player to me. For what it is worth, I would take a wager that Johnnie Knox will not go in the first round of the draft this year…

Tight Ends:

I made some notes on Tight Ends. This does not seem to be a year where there are lots of good ones out there.

    I have virtually the same notes regarding Brandon Pettigrew and Chase Coffman. Both are very big; neither is ultra-fast; both have good hands catching the ball in traffic; both block well on running plays. That should probably translate into a first day pick for both of these guys…

    Dan Gronkowski (Maryland) is an “excellent blocker” on running plays, “good size”, and has “very good hands”. He too could go on the first day.

    Travis Beckum (Wisconsin) showed “good speed” and “good hands” but also showed “cannot block a corpse”. In the NFL, tight ends have to be able to block a little bit and he does not look as if he can/will.

    The only other tight end from my notes was Bear Pascoe (Fresno State). Obviously, I think he should be drafted by Chicago just based on his name. He is “a very large man” but “not nearly as impressive as a blocker or a pass catcher as one might expect from someone that size.”

    I received an e-mail from a long-time reader back in October of last year telling me that there was a tight end due to graduate from the University of New Hampshire that I needed to follow because he had a great name. I agree, Scott Sicko, is a great name for a football player. However, I never did see him play and have not been able to find out a whole lot about him. So, look for him during the draft as a great name to be drafted by a team.

Offensive Linemen:

On the offensive line, I tend to group players together because many of the people who play tackle in college wind up at guard in the NFL and centers in college are not necessarily centers in the NFL.

    Obviously, when I saw Michael Oher and Jason Smith and Andre Smith, I was very impressed by all three of these players. They all should go in the first round of the draft and it would not surprise me if all of them were gone in the first 15 picks.

    Eugene Monroe (UVa) is also very highly regarded. I saw UVa play at least twice last year and I never wrote down Monroe’s name. Maybe he is this year’s Ryan Clady in that he will be a significant starter for an NFL team that I never noticed in his last year in college?

    The same situation applies to Eben Britton (Arizona) who could be drafted late in the first round according to some mock drafts. I saw Arizona play but made no notes of Britton one way or the other.

    I have almost identical notes about two other offensive linemen in the draft this year, Kraig Urbik (Wisconsin) and Herman Johnson (LSU). Both are “huge men”; if they do not make it in the NFL, they could “sell shade for a living.” Johnson is listed on some of the draft boards at 6’7” and 390 lbs. Both are “strong drive blockers”; both “take up space in pass blocking” and both are “slow”. These are second day picks.

    I also liked Philip Loadholt (Oklahoma) and his linemate Duke Robinson. What I noted about both of these players is that both are proficient in pass protection and in run blocking. Robinson particularly “runs well for a big interior lineman”.

    I liked AQ Shipley (Penn State) at center for his “excellent pass blocking”.

    I liked Alex Mack (Cal) at center for the fact that he is a “really good run blocker – gets downfield to block routinely”.

    I liked Dan Voss (Georgia Tech) as an “outstanding run blocker” on a team that ran the ball more times than not.

Running Backs:

I liked several running backs - - some of whom are not the “household names” being bandied about as the players who should go early in this draft.

    LeShan McCoy (Pitt) is not the biggest running back nor is he the fastest running back I have ever seen. But McCoy “hits the hole immediately” and “hits defenders as hard as they hit him” and “is elusive once he gets to the linebacker level”. If he is durable enough for the NFL, he can be a productive payer there.

    “Beanie” Wells (Ohio State) is “big, fast and bruising”, but how does someone that big and that strong get hurt as much as he does? I see that some folks have him going in the first round; I think that is at least one round too high.

    Shonn Greene (Iowa) is “probably the best power runner this year” and a very productive running back. I also noted that he is “not fast” and “maybe too slow for the NFL?”

    Knowshon Moreno (Georgia) is a “complete back”. He “runs, runs with speed, runs with power and blocks well”. I am not sure he has the hands to play for an NFL team that runs a West Coast offense, but he should be able to play well in the NFL.

    Javon Ringer (Michigan State) is a “tough runner” but he is not very big. One other note says, “is he fast enough for a RB in the NFL?” I don’t know…

    Will Taufo’ou (Cal) is a monster at fullback as a blocker. If you are an NFL team who had trouble on “third and short situations” last year - - such as the Eagles - - you might want this guy as your lead blocker. My notes say, “might be able to topple an Easter Island statue”.

    Jeremiah Johnson (Oregon) is “built like a bowling ball” and he “runs hard and low to the ground”. The draft boards have him listed as 5’9” and 205 lbs. If I had to guess from looking at him on TV, I’d guess 5’7” and 220. He is a mid-round pick.

    Andre Brown (NC State) earned this note, “punishing inside runner who can break a tackle and then get another fifteen yards”.

    A long time reader of this feature sent me an e-mail telling me that there was another player who went the “Joe Flacco route” - - he left Pitt to go to a small school and demonstrated loads of ability there. The reader was touting Rashad Jennings (Liberty) as a running back who the reader says “will play in the NFL because he can run the ball and he can catch the ball.” I never saw Liberty play; I did see Jennings in one of the “All Star Games” but only noted that he “runs hard”.

Defensive Ends:

Here are the defensive ends that attracted my attention.

    Michael Johnson (Georgia Tech) is “tall”, “good speed rusher” and a “punishing sacker”. However, he was “ordinary at best against runs toward his side”; however, he “runs down plays to the opposite side of the field”.

    Brian Orakpo (Texas) is “excellent pass rusher” “speed moves and power moves”. He is “nothing more than decent against the run”. Many of the draft gurus say he will be the first DE taken and it will be high in Round 1. He is good, but I do not know if he is that good. I am “old school” with regard to defensive ends; I think they have to play the run well in addition to rushing the passer well. Orakpo’s play against the run would make me leery of taking him high in Round 1.

    Aaron Maybin (Penn State) has a “great speed rush on QB” but “is he really big enough to be a DE” in the NFL? If he can add 25 lbs without losing speed, he might be the best one out there.

    I must not have been impressed with impressed with Jarius Wynn (Georgia) because my notes say, “gets pushed around three plays out of four”.

    I also made this note about Stryker Sulack (Missouri). “You should want to draft a DE named Stryker - - except he doesn’t do a whole lot of that.”

Defensive Tackles:

Here are the defensive tackles I made notes on:

    BJ Raji (BC) seems to be everyone’s favorite. My notes say he is “a monster” - - and I mean that in a good way.

    However, I also liked his running buddy at BC, Ron Brace. My notes say that he “is OK at pass rushing” but “stuffs the run really well.” My notes also say he is “slower than slow”. Look for his name in the mid to late rounds.

    Tarrance Taylor was a nose tackle at Michigan and for a team that runs a 3-4 defense - - or one that overshifts the DT over the center frequently - - Taylor could be a good mid-round pick. My notes say “always hustling” and “hard hitter” and “really strong”.

    Evidently the announcers must have been really high on Fili Moala (USC) the day I saw USC play because I have two notes that say “what are these guys talking about?” and “must be someone on the production staff’s nephew”. My performance notes say “big”, “not as strong as you’d expect” and “slower than a tree”. He will be drafted because he went to USC, but I would not spend a pick on him until very late on the second day.

    Vance Walker (Georgia Tech) “hustles/plays hard every snap” and “controls the inside on run plays”. He’s not much as a pass rusher because he is “slow”. He is probably someone to go on the second day of the draft.

    Earl Heyman (Louisville) is “probably too short to be a high round draft pick” even though he “plays hard every play” and gets “good penetration inside on the QB”.

Linebackers:

Here are my linebacker notes from last season:

    Everyone loves James Laurinaitis (Ohio State). I thought he was OK and marked down “third round?” He hits hard but he “looks awfully slow to me to be effective against the pass in the NFL”. Remember, how everyone also loved Ohio State linebacker Andy Katzenmoyer a few years ago and then he was a high draft pick in the NFL and then …

    Aaron Curry (Wake Forest) did not have nearly the hype coming into the season that Laurinaitis had but when I saw Curry I wrote “what can’t he do well?” and “why would anyone want Laurinaitis over this guy?” I also wrote, “top-ten pick”.

    I may not have noticed Eugene Monroe during any of the UVa games I watched, but I did make note of Chris Sintim as an outside linebacker. He is “big and agile” and “runs well”. I also said, “strong enough to play the run in the NFL”. He should go on the first day.

    Jonathon Casillas (Wisconsin) got a lot of love from the announcing crew when I saw him play. My notes say “too small to play LB in the NFL and too slow to play strong safety”. Now, watch some team trade up to take him in the first round just so I can get a nasty note from a Wisconsin fan telling me how I showed no respect for the Badgers …

    Moise Fokou (Maryland) earned this comment, “take this guy if you hate your radio play by play announcer…”

    Brian Cushing (USC) is “always around the ball” and “hits very hard”. He looks “fast enough to be good in pass coverage and to blitz from the outside.” I understand he had a significant knee injury earlier in his college career and that may drop him in the draft, but I think this guy is a player.

    Rey Maualaga (USC) is a “huge hitter” who tries to “blow up every play and everyone with the ball”. However, I also noted, “not real fast – can he play pass defense in the NFL?” Based on everyone else’s draft boards and mock drafts, he should go in the top of the first round.

    Scott McKillop (Pitt) “seems to be in on every tackle” and “is a sure tackler”. He is “big enough to be MLB” and “fast enough to cover TEs – but not RBs”. I have not heard much about this guy but I think he is worth a first day pick.

    Lawrence Sidbury (Richmond) stood out in the Division 1-AA championship game. He played DE for Richmond but my note here says “way too small to play DE in the NFL but looks like an OLB to me”. He is a sure tackler with a “high rpm motor”. He “chased down screen passes to the opposite side of the field a couple of times.” Do not be surprised to hear his name on the first day.

    Jason Phillips (TCU) earned this comment, “not big and not fast but he must have some Tasmanian Devil DNA in him.” He pursued the ball carrier and/or the QB relentlessly.

    A long-time reader of these rants who lives in Nevada sent along a note about University of Nevada’s Joshua Mauga. I have no notes on Mauga, but I do not recall seeing Nevada play last season so it is not as if I watched the team and never saw him do anything noteworthy. For what it is worth, here is the essence of the reader’s note to me:

    Mauga weighs 250 lbs and can run well enough to be an outside or an inside linebacker. When he has a coverage assignment, he is usually on his man. He is a sure tackler and a tough guy.

Cornerbacks:

Here are my notes on cornerbacks from last season. If the NFL scouts agree with my assessment, this will be a lean year for prospects at that position.

    Oregon State played with their corners in man coverage – and not always with safety help – on an awful lot of plays. That means they got burned a few times, but it also showed that these two guys could cover in a man scheme. Keenan Lewis is the bigger of these two guys but not real fast and Brandon Hughes is the faster of these two guys but not very big. I wrote down “both of these guys should be drafted”.

    Sean Smith (Utah) is “very tall” and he “covers well and hits hard”. He might be a CB or a Safety in the NFL. He is worth a first day pick.

    Alphonso Smith (Wake Forest) is “short but covers really well”. I also noted that he is “not a sure tackler” and “seems to avoid big contact when runs come to his side.” I would look for him in the mid-rounds.

    Jarius Byrd (Oregon) is “big time hitter but not so good in coverage” and perhaps that is because he “seems a bit too slow to play CB in the NFL. If a team thinks they might convert him to safety, he might move up on their draft board; but as a CB, he might lack something they cannot teach - - speed.

    Asher Allen (Georgia) is “very fast” and “reacts to the ball well on long passes”. Playing in the SEC means he has seen some good opposition. He will probably go in the mid-rounds.

    Vontae Davis (Illinois) sparked this comment, “Good thing he is really fast because he is often way off in coverage and has to use his speed to close on the guy he should have been blanketing.” On the positive side, I made this note, “Could be really good kick returner/punt returner with that speed.”

    Malcom Jenkins (Ohio State) seems to be the consensus best CB in the draft. All I wrote down when I saw Ohio State was this, “Good tackler and big hitter. Cover skills?”

    A Florida reader sent me this note about Corey Small (Florida Atlantic University). I never saw Corey Small play; I don’t know if he is small or large…

    “Here is a sleeper cornerback for the NFL draft. He had ten or more tackles in four games last season and he’s good in coverage too.”

Safeties:

Here are the safeties that did something to merit some note taking on my part.

    Clemson was only a mediocre football team last year despite the thought that they might have been a Top 10 team in the preseason rankings. Nonetheless, Clemson had two safeties that looked good to me. Michael Hamlin is “big and tough” and “seems to go looking for contact/good tackler”. Chris Clemons is “quick to the ball” and “covered tight ends in the middle and WRs coming over the middle really well.” I think both of these players will be drafted in the mid-rounds.

    Curtis Taylor (LSU) is “tall” “covers receivers well” and is a “sure tackler”. That sounds like someone who should be drafted by an NFL team, no?

    David Bruton (Notre Dame) is “big, athletic and fast”. Perhaps that is also why he is “good in coverage”. I also noted that he is a “good tackler” and that he “played on punt coverage team effectively.”

    Eric Thatcher (Pitt) was “always around the ball” but also “looked much too short to be a top candidate for an NFL DB”

Special Teams Players:

I do not even pretend to have tried to notice long snappers. I realize that every team has to have them, but I paid them no attention as I watched college football games. My notes are confined to kickers and punters.

    Louis Sakoda (Utah) is punter AND a kicker. His punts are high and long; they have plenty of hangtime for the coverage team to exploit. He is an accurate kicker with plenty of range. He will not go in the first round, but maybe late in the third round …?

    Graham Gano (Florida State) is also a punter AND a kicker. He does both well and “has good accuracy on long field goal attempts/ down the middle”. Maybe late third round or …?

    Justin Brantley (Texas A&M) is a “very large guy for a punter” and he “gets plenty of distance” but he “punts the ball low not high”. If no one drafts him and you need a punter for training camp, I would have his agent’s number on speed dial.

So, there it is. That is the report from The Couch Scout. In a couple of years, we can look back and see if there were any diamonds in the rough here.

And to put a final perspective on all of the scouting and the draft board construction all over the NFL and the ubiquitous coverage of potential draftees, here is a comment from Greg Cote in the Miami Herald:

“Mel Kiper Jr. is now projecting the 223rd pick in the draft will be Farqhuar long-snapper Ned Nebbish, up from an initial projection of 229th based on a recent 4.33 40 while eluding police.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

Caveat Emptor …

According to reports late last week, the Arizona Cardinals will now entertain offers for Anquan Boldin and the bidding will open at a first and a third round draft pick. Since I have no pipeline into the Arizona Cardinals’ front office, I am going to assume – dangerously – that the reports are absolutely accurate. On that assumption, I believe that only a team who believes that they are one receiver away from playing in the Super Bowl should pick up the phone and call the Cardinals. For the record, I do not know that such a team exists…

It is not that I do not like Anquan Boldin as a receiver; he is a very good wide receiver. Nevertheless, the price for him is rather steep; and so, you have to look at Anquan Boldin in a rather harsh light to determine if he is worth that price:

    1. Anquan Boldin will be 29 years old in October. It is the rare wide receiver who gets any better once they leave 30 years old in their rear view mirror. Realistically, his performance is unlikely to sustain at current levels over the life of the new contract a team will need to sign him to.

    2. Anquan Boldin has a dash of “diva” in him. He was not going to speak to his coach last year; he had a sideline argument with the offensive coordinator in the Super Bowl; he did not join the team in celebrating the NFC Championship win. “Diva” wide receivers have been known to have a detrimental effect on team chemistry.

    3. Anquan Boldin had a very serious injury last year – from which he recovered very quickly – and he has had injury issues for his entire career. He has been in the NFL six seasons; only twice has he played all 16 games.

Therefore, if a team believes that the only missing piece of the puzzle for them to make it to the Super Bowl game - - not the playoffs and not the conference championships - - then Anquan Boldin for a first and a third is a good deal. Other than that, caveat emptor.

The NBA playoffs began last weekend; they will go on interminably. Unlike the NCAA basketball tournament, the NBA playoffs just do not develop any groundswell of interest in the first and second rounds. I believe that the suits at the NBA in conjunction with the suits at the networks have misread the situation terribly and have made decisions that put a lid on accumulating fan interest in the early rounds.

Unlike the college tournament where a team plays two games in three days – and then the student-athletes go back to class for a while [cough, cough] – the NBA series are scheduled such that there are no overlapping games. That drags out the series so that any excitement and interested generated in Game 1 between two teams in the first round is largely dissipated by the time there is a Game 2. And even if the there is some spark of enthusiasm left, it had to survive through the distraction of every other playoff match-up sequentially intervening between Game 1 and Game 2. Add to this the fact that playoff games will be carried on three different networks and fans will have to go looking for date and time and channel just to follow a series.

Greg Cote put the NBA playoffs into perspective in the Miami Herald:

“The first round of the postseason alone will last up to two full weeks. The NBA’s goal is to complete the playoffs before the start of next season.”

Here is an NBA tidbit from the final game of the regular season courtesy of Charlie Walters of the St. Paul Pioneer-Press:

“Mike Miller scored 14 points for the Timberwolves in their final game of the season against Sacramento, but the other four starters — Brian Cardinal, Jason Collins, Kevin Ollie and Mark Madsen — played a total of 51.32 minutes and scored just two points. Really.”

That is truly scary…

The NHL Stanley Cup playoffs are in the midst of their first round series. The Florida Panthers are not partaking of the Stanley Cup quest again this year prompting this comment from Greg Cote in the Miami Herald:

“Panthers players spent $21,000 throwing themselves an end-of-season party at the South Beach club B.E.D. Hey, it isn’t easy missing the playoffs eight seasons in a row. It’s a rare feat. You want to celebrate!”

The Florida Panthers hardly have a long and storied hockey history. But the Toronto Maple Leafs are one of the “Original Six”; the Maple Leafs have won the Stanley Cup 13 times – albeit the last time was in 1967 – and have participated in the Stanley Cup Final Series 21 times. While the Florida Panthers have not been in the playoffs for 8 consecutive years, it has also been 5 years since the Toronto Maple Leafs have made the playoffs.

I read a report that CC Sabathia bought a home in Alpine NJ for a cool $15M. Good for him; it is not as if he is going to be “house poor” with that purchase. Nevertheless, it is in Alpine NJ. Have you ever been to NJ? What part of NJ that you have seen might bring to mind anything associated with the Alps? And he paid $15M for that location…

    Memo to CC Sabathia: Beware of anyone offering to sell you property in Nirvana, Nebraska.

Finally, an observation from Bob Molinaro in the Hampton Roads Virginian-Pilot:

“Bottom line: After overestimating the public’s tolerance for insanely overpriced tickets, the Yankees are taking out full-page ads in the New York Times to sell seats in their new stadium. It’s OK by me; I’m for anything that helps keep newspapers afloat.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

Recommended Reading…

I have seen/read more than a couple of columns today on the retirement of John Madden. Not surprisingly, Scott Ostler of the SF Chronicle had a great one. I commend it to your reading…

Ray Ratto - also of the SF Chronicle - wrote this piece on cbssports.com. It is also worthy of your attention…

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