The Sports Curmudgeon®

When Greg Norman inserted himself back into the news of sports with his first three rounds of the British Open a couple of weeks ago, it renewed attention to his messy divorce and his dalliance with Chris Evert that was a part of that divorce. Frankly, I had paid just about no attention to these matters in the past but recent reports did catch my eye. According to one report I read, Greg Norman paid his ex-wife $103M to settle the divorce action. My first thought on reading that was that he must have wanted to get away from her awfully badly and that she might just be a world-class harpy. However, then I read that he and Chris Everett began their “torrid courtship” while both of them were still married and so now there are two possibilities here:

1. The ex-Mrs. Norman really is a shrew and it was worth $103M just to be in some other zip code away from her.

2. Elliot Spitzer got a bargain with his extra-marital dalliance because all he paid was $4K an hour.

NFL training camps are in full swing. I will refrain from commenting on which unsigned free agent has “made an impression” on coaches at whatever camp or on what player entering his contract year showed up in camp in “the best shape of his life”. I really do want to refrain from any more comment on the Brett Favre/Green Bay Packers saga - - but there is a nagging feeling that I need to express.

I really do not think Brett Favre is – in his heart – a malevolent idiot. Neither do I think that his agent is stupid. At the same time, the Green Bay Packers are not stumblebums when it comes to organization. So, the thing I don’t understand is this:

How did this matter reach “FUBAR” stage?

There is something missing in the story as it has been reported so far and it would certainly seem as the vector for the reporting on the story will not go back and pick it up. Why could adults not have reached some accommodation in this matter long before it came to this? Here is a hypothesis - - based on no inside info or off the record communications:

Might there be a real, palpable and mutual dislike between Brett Favre and Packers’ GM Ted Thompson, which has “stayed under the radar” until now?

Other hypotheses?

I ran across a stat for the 2007 Seattle Seahawks that amazed me. For the season, the Seahawks’ offense faced 3rd-and-1 on 28 occasions. I do not have any league-wide stats on this situation, but my sense is that teams convert 3rd-and-1 about 80% of the time. The Seahawks only converted 12 of their 28 tries or 43%. Even if my 80% estimate is high, I am sure that the league-wide average is well above 43%.

I also read that the Steelers put DT, Casey Hampton, on the Physically Unable to Perform List when he showed up in training camp and could not complete a series of wind sprints. The Steelers’ website says Hampton weighs 325 lbs; that’s his playing weight. Some reports said that he showed up in training camp in the 375 – 390 lb range. If so, Casey Hampton can probably make a few extra bucks in the heat of training camp by selling shade to some of his teammates.

Former referee, Tim Donaghy, received a 15-month sentence from a judge this week for his involvement with gambling on NBA games. He could have been sentenced to 33 months; his cooperation with prosecutors probably got some time shaved off his sentence. After the sentencing hearing, I heard Donaghy’s lawyer say that he and his client were pleased with the leniency shown by the court. My thought was:

Donaghy probably took the UNDER on a 20 month sentence.

There were reports that Donaghy and his lawyer sought probation as his sentence partly on the claim that Donaghy was addicted to gambling. What was the point of that argument? That he would not be able to gamble as easily in prison and would therefore suffer withdrawal in the Graybar Plaza?

And speaking of something I simply do not understand, the Detroit Pistons signed Kwame Brown to a two-year deal – it is Brown’s option to extend it to the second year not the team’s – for $4M a season. I understand that Kwame Brown is almost seven feet tall and that it is not possible to teach a player to be tall. I also understand that Kwame Brown has shown in all of his previous stations in the NBA that he cannot play effectively at the NBA level. Granted, $4M a year is almost “chump-change” in the NBA salary spectrum, but still I have a question that keeps going through my mind:

WHY?

The NCAA super-sleuths are at it again. They have found wrongdoing by some ne’er-do-wells at yet another small school. Note how they never seem to be able to find it at any “powerhouse” schools”. This time the miscreants are the folks at Texas A&M – Corpus Christi. The NCAA says they used ineligible players, committed recruiting violations and – here is the really bad news – lacked institutional control. The lack of control allegation has at its core that the Athletic Director knew about two ineligible players at the school and did not report that to the NCAA and that he actually submitted a false report to the NCAA regarding one of those players. This means that the AD did not comport himself in accordance with the NCAA’s “high standards of honesty and sportsmanship.”

The NCAA can actually say those kinds of things with a straight face. I suspect one of the things that an applicant for a job there has to do is to say that kind of stuff a half-dozen times without giggling. Oh, did I mention that the ineligible athletes were a volleyball player and a tennis player. Still waiting for the NCAA to discover on its own some kind of wrongdoing in the football program at a perennial top 20 school…

Finally, given the stories surrounding the Reggie Bush matter and the OJ Mayo affair, would it be completely unreasonable to suggest that USC might stand for Unscrupulous Sports Cheating? Just asking…

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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The Olympics will begin a week from Friday. Since I will be away for part of next week, I want to focus on “Olympic stuff” today. The latest estimate that I read is that the Chinese government has spent $42B preparing for these games including a few really big-ticket items such as the new airport terminal that cost $3B. In addition to the stadiums and sports venues in Beijing, a new subway line was part of the infrastructure enhancement in the city in addition to a huge media center and an Olympic Village that will become residential housing as soon as the Games are over.

Greece spent nowhere near this amount of money on the Athens Games and the Greek economy is only now beginning to eat through the massive debt it incurred. (Greece says it spent $15B but many folks say that does not account for any of the security costs or the costs to hire all the folks as temporary workers who actually provided the logistical support for the athletes and the attendees. Some estimates have had the Greek total expense in the $19-20B region. Whatever…) However, the Chinese economy is the second-largest economy in the world (GDP is in the neighborhood of $4T this year) and it seems as if this $42B spending spree will not cause major economic turmoil and upset. Whether or not the Olympics will pay for themselves – after you factor in the economic benefits provided by the infrastructure enhancements – is totally another story. I suspect that economic analysts can spin the numbers to come out with whatever answer they have been hired to come out with.

Stories of the spending for the London Games in 2012 are not nearly so rosy at the moment. The last account I read had the spending approaching $19B with a $6B contingency fund for overruns pretty much already earmarked. Moreover, London surely had plenty of infrastructure to begin with so the London cost accountings could be interesting to watch over the next four years.

NBC is ready to go with coverage that will be off the charts. Current plans call for 2,900 hours of coverage on about a dozen channels in the NBC ambit. If you do the math, that comes to more than 170 hours a day of Olympic coverage spread out over those channels; you will not be wanting for a way to see even the most minor of Olympic events. If you were to record all of the coverage - - obviously with about a dozen DVRs - - it would then take you a little over 120 days of non-stop watching to wade through your archive. To provide such coverage, NBC will send more than 2500 people to China to produce and cover the events.

Ad revenues for the games should top $1B; 30-second ads are going for an average of $750K apiece and as of late June, the estimate was that a little over 90% of the slots had been filled.

And so, the Games shall begin and once again they will be less and less about “stronger, higher and faster” and more and more about “cha-ching!” The athletes will only provide the means by which corporate sponsors and TV advertisers can maneuver to ring up sales and gain market shares. Like it or not, the athletes are merely cogs in the machinery of the Olympics…

Speaking of the athletes who will be competing, here is a prediction:

The winner of the diving competition could well be any random Portuguese soccer player. Their theatrics could really impress the judges.

I do not understand something about the gymnastics competition. Why do they call it women’s gymnastics? Despite the chronological age of any of the major competitors, it surely does not appear that many of them have even begun their march through puberty. I guess it doesn’t fit with the Olympic ideal or the Olympic motto to call it “Little Girl’s gymnastics”…

Here is a Quick Quiz:

Describe three of the five events in the Modern Pentathlon.

EXTRA CREDIT: Describe three of the five events in the Ancient Pentathlon.

EXTRA EXTRA CREDIT: Explain why anyone should care.

Here are some comments about the Olympics from columnists around the country that will give you a glimpse into various nooks and crannies of the Games:

“What can you say about the Bulgarian weightlifting team after it dropped out of the Olympics because 11 of 13 members tested positive for banned substances? When the Iron Curtain fell, it must have hit these dopes on the head.” Bob Molinaro Virginian-Pilot

“Nineteen South Florida-based athletes will be competing in Beijing. More than half qualified in this year’s new Olympic event, 100-meter road rage.” Greg Cote Miami Herald

“It shouldn’t be difficult to spot Hiroshi Hoketsu, Japan’s 67-year-old equestrian, at next month’s Olympic Games.
“Look for the horse with only a left blinker on.” Dwight Perry Seattle Times

Finally, here is one more comment relative to the Olympics from Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times

“Mizuki Noguchi of Japan, the defending women’s Olympic marathon champion, will be back to defend her title with a new secret weapon — running shoes made from ground-up rice husks.

“Or, as they’re better known around the training table: Rice-A-Runni.”

But don‘t get me wrong, I love sports…

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The Philadelphia Soul beat the San Jose SaberCats in the Arena Bowl yesterday. That makes the Soul the champions of the Arena League. The last team in Philly to win a championship was the Sixers in 1983 with Moses Malone and Dr. J. So, the interesting question now for sports fans in Philly is this:

Does the success of the Soul mean that the championship drought in Philly is over?

As NFL teams head for training camp and there is rampant optimism for the upcoming season in at least 20 of the 32 NFL cities, may I inject a note of reality here to point out the continued excellence of the New England Patriots over the period 2001 – 2007. Before anyone gets their knickers in a knot about the Pats success vis a vis “the tuck rule” and “Spygate” and a bunch of other things that might distract you from facts, please consider:

1. From 2001-07, the Pats won the AFC East six times. The only year they did not make the playoffs in that span (2002), they tied for first in the AFC East but the Jets got in on a tiebreaker.

2. In April of this year, the Pats had a draft pick in the top ten because they traded to get it. The last time the Pats had a top-ten draft pick based on where they finished in the league was in 2001. [They took Richard Seymour with that pick and that helped them more than a little bit.]

3. From 2001 to 2007, the Pats won 86 games; no one else did that.

4. From 2001 to 2007, the Pats were in the AFC Championship Game five times and were in the Super Bowl four times.

5. In their AFC Championship Game loss to Indy (2006), they lost in the final minute of play. In their Super Bowl loss to the Giants (2007), they lost in the final 40 seconds.

This record does not match success of the five NFL Championships by the Lombardi Packers from 1961 – 1967, but it does come awfully close…

When training camps were about to open, Terry Glenn and Lamont Jordan were released by the Cowboys and Raiders. Jordan was not on the market long; the Pats signed him about 24 hours later. It will be interesting to see if Jordan’s game gets the same boost upon going from the Raiders to the Pats that Randy Moss’ game did…

The Chargers cut WR Eric Parker; they said he got caught up in a numbers game. Parker missed last season with a foot injury that he is still in the process of rehabbing. However, assuming that it heals and he can return to form, Parker might be a worthwhile acquisition for a team needing another WR. Prior to his injury, Parker averaged 50 catches per year and more than 12 yards per catch. Those may not be Hall of Fame numbers, but there are not a lot of WRs in their 20s who are available with those kinds of numbers on their résumé.

Speaking of Hall of Fame numbers, the first game of the Exhibition Season will be the Hall of Fame game this Sunday between the Redskins and the Colts. That makes me think that the Hall of Fame balloting ought to be very interesting in 2012 because Michael Strahan and Warren Sapp will be on the ballot then for the first time. I have heard lots of people say both are sure-fire first ballot inductees and anyone who has watched NFL games for the last decade has to realize that Michael Strahan was a dominant defensive end for a decade and Warren Sapp was a dominant defensive tackle for a decade. But let me channel Lee Corso here and say, “Not so fast, my friend.” Consider:

Chris Doleman also had a fifteen-year career in which he had 9 more sacks, 20 more forced fumbles, 9 more recovered fumbles and 4 more interceptions than did Strahan. Chris Doleman has yet to make the final cut for Hall of Fame consideration.

Kevin Greene had 20 more sacks in his career than did Strahan. Greene has been passed over five times for Hall of Fame induction.

Charles Haley has five Super Bowl rings and he has not made it into the Hall of Fame yet. He has been eligible since 2004.

I suspect that Strahan’s presence in the media over the next five years will aid his cause a lot since the electors are media folks too.

It might also be interesting to see how the media voters treat Warren Sapp in his first year of eligibility. Sapp was known as a “go-to guy” for interviews and candor. He was also a really good defensive tackle for much of his career making the “all-decade team of the 1990s” and eight Pro Bowls. He was Defensive Player of the Year in 1999. Now let me channel Stephen A. Smith and say, “HOW – EVAH”…

Cortez Kennedy was also on the “all-decade team of the 1990s” as a defensive tackle and Kennedy also was selected for the Pro Bowl in eight different seasons. Kennedy was also NFL Defensive Player of the Year in 1992. Cortez Kennedy has never been a finalist for the Hall of Fame since he became eligible in 2003.

Finally, here is an interesting viewpoint on Bill Belichick from Scott Ostler in the SF Chronicle:

“Hasn’t Bill Belichick earned the benefit of the doubt? How do we know he wasn’t filming all those other coaches to steal fashion tips?”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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Now that a little time has passed since the pit-area dust-up between Danica Patrick and Milka Duno - - you have to have seen the video of that at least ten times by now on the various ESPN and FSN outlets - - I got to thinking about the “confrontation”. Just how many “confrontations” has Danica Patrick had with other IRL drivers now? Six? Eight? Ten? They all get covered in depth on ESPN and other sports outlets because of Danica Patrick’s celebrity status; and interestingly to me, that seems to be the only in-depth coverage that IRL gets just about anywhere outside of Indianapolis. Hmmm… These “confrontations” couldn’t be staged, could they?

If the latest “confrontation” were real, I might have expected Milka Duno - - whom I don’t know from a Milky Way candy bar - - to have taken a swing at the intruding and insulting Ms. Patrick. No male driver on the planet would dare do that as much as many might like to do that, but Ms. Duno could have taken sufficient umbrage to plant a right cross upside Ms. Patrick’s jaw line. If she had done that, I suspect that IRL would have promoted them for a boxing match with the winner to take on Tonya Harding.

So, what is the OVER/UNDER for when Danica Patrick’s victories exceed the number of these dust-ups she has with other drivers?

a. 2010

b. 2015

c. The Twelfth of Never - - and that’s a long, long time… [/Johnny Mathis]

I happened upon a SF Giants/Washington Nationals game recently whilst grazing through the cable sports channels. I watched a few innings between these two wretched teams before I simply had to change the channel. However, in that brief time I did make an observation that I thought I would never make. Benjie Molina is even slower now than he has been before. Last year, he could have made it from first-to-third in less time than it takes to whip up a serving of veal cordon bleu. Today, I’m not sure…

The Pirates’ trade with the Yankees makes the Pirates quest for their first winning season in the last 16 years more difficult than it was - - and it was going to be difficult enough without that trade. Coming back from nine games under .500 with 57 games left will not be easy with that pitching staff…

The NFL announced that they will stream live broadcasts of their Sunday Night Football games over the Internet starting in September. Lots of folks see this as the NFL looking to embrace modern technologies and to reach out to grab even more viewers. That’s probably true. But here is what I don’t understand…

Why is NBC so happy to let this happen? It would seem to me that making the games available on the Internet can only reduce the number of folks watching them on TV; that means lower ratings; that means lower advertising rates; that can’t make NBC affiliates thrilled. What am I missing here…?

The other networks will not put their games on the Internet and the NFL says that the playoffs and Super Bowl will not be on the Internet. If this is such a slam-dunk great idea, how come no other network is jumping in here? And why is the NFL going to keep its showcase games - - playoffs and Super Bowl - - off the Internet?

Quick Quiz: Which will happen first…?

a. Danica Patrick has more victories than “confrontations” with other drivers.

b. Michael Vick gets an endorsement deal from Petco.

c. David Stern utters the words, “I don’t know,” in that sequence.

d. Dr. Myles Brand gets something right.

e. ESPN realizes that it never should have hired Emmitt Smith in the first place.

I read an item which said that Rush Limbaugh told the St. Louis Business Journal that he might be interested in putting together a consortium of investors that would try to purchase the St. Louis Rams. Can you picture the mayhem at one of the NFL owners’ meetings if Rush Limbaugh, Jerry Jones and Daniel Snyder all see a TV camera at the same time and start a mad dash to be the one in front of the lens? That collision might rival the ones anticipated in the bowels of the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland…

The Olympics begin in less than two weeks. Eight is a lucky number in China and the Opening Ceremonies will be on 8/8/08. The PGA will hold its final major tournament of the year - - the PGA Championship - - from 8/7/08 through 8/10/08. With Tiger Woods on the shelf, the PGA was already going to be a ratings nightmare for golf when compared year-over-year with 2007. Add to that the fact that this is the opening weekend of the Olympics and it will not be surprising if the PGA ratings fall below the “Jesse Ventura Line” - - the nadir of the XFL ratings at 2.0.

Finally, here are two comments regarding the recently concluded British Open:

“The British Open became the latest golf major to be blown by Greg Norman. It probably wasn’t a good sign when Norman was accompanied on the first tee last Sunday by medics prepared to administer the Heimlich maneuver.” [Greg Cote, Miami Herald]

“Greg Norman, only golfer ever to lose all four majors after leading going into the final round. The Grand Slammed.” [Scott Ostler, SF Chronicle]

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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There are two WNBA stories that have made the “headline lists” on various sports news sites today. And those two stories demonstrate rather clearly the irrelevance of the WNBA. The first story is about ten suspensions handed out by the league following a brawl between the LA and Detroit teams. Detroit assistant coach Rick Mahorn even got involved although he claims he was only trying to be a peacemaker and keep combatants apart. Sadly, the WNBA garners headlines here because it makes the WNBA game look like a men’s basketball game. This fight coincidentally happened in the same place as the legendary Pistons/Pacers “basketbrawl” except fans did not get involved this time. If you think I’m being harsh on the WNBA here, consider that the last time the WNBA grabbed some headline space was when one of the players dunked a basketball in an actual game. Then too, it made the WNBA seem like the men’s game…

But the second story today is even worse. The Detroit Shock signed and played Nancy Lieberman in an actual league game. Lieberman is in the Hall of Fame – with good reason – but she is 50 years old and has not actually played professionally for more than a decade. It’s a feelgood story to be sure - - but it makes the WNBA out to be a carnival act. The NBA won’t be bringing Charles Barkley back for a cameo role in an actual league game next year and Sir Charles is only 45; the NBA won’t be bring back Dennis Rodman (age 48), Magic Johnson (age 50) or Dr. J (age 58) either. They won’t because they don’t need to do that to make the headlines and because to do that would make a mockery of their games.

In the world of baseball, I saw a report about an amazing outing by a pitcher that you may have missed. Last week, Jeremy Sowers started a game for the Cleveland Indians against the Tampa Bay Rays. In four innings, Sowers walked seven hitters and struck out eight; that four-inning effort took 93 pitches. The second inning was the most bizarre. Sowers faced seven batters; none of them hit a fair ball; he walked four and struck out three and it took him 41 pitches to get out of the inning. I’ve seen a lot of baseball games in my lifetime; I don’t recall ever seeing anything like that beyond a Little League game.

The Minnesota Twins have a new stadium going up in Minnesota; and of course, they will be looking for a company to buy the naming rights. Minnesota is the land of 10,000 Lakes so why not have Land-o-Lakes butter make the buy? Land-o-Lakes Field in the Land of 10,000 Lakes… Once again, I am proving to you that I would never have made it in the field of marketing/advertising…

Here is a baseball proposition bet for all the seamheads out there:

Mariners’ wins for the year +5 vs.

Francisco Rodriguez’ saves

With regard to the Alex Rodriguez/Madonna dithering, let me say that these are two adults – at least chronologically – and whatever they choose to do with their lives in the privacy of their homes/boudoirs is really none of anyone’s business. With all the coverage of this “liaison” to date, there has not yet been any hint of any kind of illegal activity that might be ongoing amongst the two of them. Even if all the reports only tell half the story, these are not two people engaged in some kind of nefarious plot to bring an end to Western Civilization as we have come to know it. It is no big deal; please, give this story a rest…

I did read one rumor/assertion/flight-of-fancy with regard to the A-Rod/Madonna dithering that resonated with me. One report had it that this blissful union might – I said might – convince Madonna to give up her music career once and for all. Now, wouldn’t that be a boon to all humankind? This year is the Chinese Year of the Rat, which is not a glorious portent for things to come, but Madonna’s future musical silence would surely be a wonderful gift to all of us from the Year of the Rat.

In fact, maybe we can extend the story and get an even bigger benefit. Any chance that Carly Simon might be joining these folks for a threesome and that she will decide to go silent too? I know; don’t be greedy…

In NFL news, Devin Hester did not report to the Bears’ training camp and says he might hold out for the year absent a new fat contract. Hester says he will not play for his $450K salary this year because he feels underpaid after the two explosive seasons he has had; he’s probably right about that. However, his leverage is limited here. He can be fined up to $15K per day that he misses team activities; that means that after 30 days of “absence” he would have to play the season out for nada/squadoosh/nil/zilch. And if he does not report to the team by Game 10 – well after he has run out of salary to pay his fines – then he gets to play next year under this year’s contract provisions. Somehow, I do not see how this one will end with everyone happy…

The US Army has decided that Caleb Campbell must report for active duty in the army and cannot play NFL football for the Lions this year. I am of two minds on this one.

Campbell went to West Point and got a taxpayer-funded education knowing that military service was part of the deal. At the same time, the US Army told Campbell and the NFL that Campbell could indeed play in the NFL starting this year and serve out his commitment to the services under an “alternative service option”. So Campbell was eligible to be drafted and the Lions took him in the seventh round.

Now comes the “double back” by the Army. Certainly, Caleb Campbell consumed public resources, as he was educated/trained to be an officer in the US Army. The public should expect to get that service from him as “recompense”. At the same time, the Army made it clear that he had a way to pay back his education costs in terms of a cash reimbursement and “alternative services” and Campbell and the NFL acted based on that good faith representation by the Army. Somehow, I don’t see how this one will end with everyone happy…

Finally, here are two things which when placed in juxtaposition give you an idea of how ironic life can be:

1. Michael Vick filed for bankruptcy claiming debts of up to $50M. It all went down the drain due to that dogfighting mess.

2. Leona Helmsley’s dogs have a net worth of about $10M

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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When I was a kid, I would go to the movies on Saturday afternoon. One genre of film that I liked was the old “horror flick” – not the new ones with gaudy special effects. I mean the ones with Bela Lugosi as Dracula and Boris Karloff as Frankenstein. Each of those films had innumerable sequels to the point where the titles became confusing such as Brother-in-law of the Cousin of the Next Door Neighbor of the Bride of Frankenstein. I bring up those movies only because they all started in the same way. Some goof finds Dracula “dead” in his coffin with a stake in his heart – or the Mummy’s newest tomb or the body of the Frankenstein monster conveniently close to an electrical supply that might be connected across those terminals sticking out of its neck. Then that same goof pulls out the stake or fires up the monster and all hell breaks loose for a couple of hours until someone finds a way to put things back the way they were at the beginning of the movie.

It seems as if we have one of these “monster movie sequels” about to play itself out in the sports world this weekend. We’ve seen this before but that won’t keep us from peeking in to see if the end is as horrible as it has been in the past. I’m speaking of Michelle Wie entering a men’s golf tournament – the Reno-Tahoe Open. If you follow professional golf, you probably think that the main event for the weekend is the World Golf Championship – Bridgestone Invitational in Ohio because that is where most of the top names on the PGA Tour will be. But now the sponsors of the Reno-Tahoe Open have a way to get some of the attention deflected from Ohio to their junior varsity event. You don’t think that might be part of their motivation for the sponsors there, do you? Neither do I…

Now that Michelle Wie is 18 years old, she is an adult and therefore she is responsible for making decisions relative to her life. In the past, one could point to greedy promoters who might be manipulating her overly ambitious parents for exploiting the talents of a teenage girl for their benefits. Those exploitations surely did Michelle Wie’s golf game no good; in the past two years, she has made the cut in exactly two tournaments on any of the tours she plays in and neither of those “successes” came this year. She needs to finish well in the LPGA Canadian Open and other LPGA events where she can get in just to avoid having to qualify for LPGA events next year.

But now Michele Wie is an adult and she can do what she wants to do with her time; and so, this decision is on her. Sure, the promoters want ESPN to show Michele Wie playing in their second-rate tournament and ESPN will do just that. Sure, her parents/handlers want promoters to continue to fawn over them. Those things are true, but Michele Wie holds the ace of trump here; she can tell all those folks to pound sand. Instead, she chooses to pull the stake out of the heart of the vampire - - and so this one is on her.

Memo to Michelle Wie: Since you insist on playing against the men yet again, please remember that the PGA also requires you to sign your scorecard and to turn it in promptly after every round of golf. You are welcome.

On more than one occasion, I’ve ranted about the boneheadedness of the folks who run horseracing in the US. Rather than repeat any of those rants let me just say that the Captain of the Titanic navigated his treacherous course about as well as the US horseracing mavens have managed their industry. However, there may be a spark of a new idea for horseracing coming from Great Britain.

The British horseracing industry wants to start something called the Sovereign Series starting next year. It will be a season-long competition comprised of ten Group I races. [In North America, we call them Grade I races but the idea is the same; these are major racing events that draw top talent.] These races will be contested over a 5 month span (May – October) meaning that there will not be huge gaps between the events where fans can lose interest or forget about the competition. The shortest race will be a mile and the longest race will be a mile-and-a-half; there will be no sprints.

Horses can earn points based on their finishing position in each of these races and the finale of the series will be something called the Champion Stakes. The prize pool for the Sovereign Series itself will be 2 million pounds (almost $4M at today’s exchange rate). In addition, the Sovereign Series will add 3 million pounds to the purses of the ten races in the series; those races already carry purses that total over 4 million pounds.

The Champion Stakes would fall in late September or early October meaning it would be very close to the Prix de l’Arc de Triomphe in France and the Breeders’ Cup in the US. While that may sound as if it poses a huge problem for racing, it may in fact be the basis for people to sit down and talk about how to make horseracing a lot better than it is on a worldwide basis.

The British idea has some exceptionally good ideas:

1. The idea that there is a series of races that could happen every few weeks where the results might actually matter in some context other than the payoffs to the bettors at the conclusion of the race should generate interest in the sport. Lord knows, horseracing can use that.

2. The idea that the shortest race will be at a mile is a good one because just about everyone agrees that breeders have damaged the species by breeding only for speed and not for endurance too. Having a lot of purse money out there for “distance horses” might be good for the breed and therefore good for the sport.

3. Who says the Sovereign Series cannot become an international competition to include horses and races that would make the competition a year-round event by including places such as Dubai, Hong Kong and Australia?

This idea comes from “across the pond”. It will be interesting to see if the geniuses who run horseracing in North America can remove their heads from their colons long enough to see the potential to do something different that might be beneficial. And if they do rectify their rectal blindness momentarily, can they put a leash on their collective egos long enough to think about the concept of “cooperation”? Maybe they need to go and watch some of the old Sesame Street episodes about “cooperation”?

Finally, an item from Dwight Perry in the Seattle Times:

“Sign spotted on the back of the San Jose Sharks’ Zamboni: ‘Driver carries no cash.’ “

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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Back in May 2004, I wrote that the NCAA was a necessary evil. I said then that it provided an organizing body to put on championships for dozens of non-revenue sports that could not do so on their own and that it put on the single best large-scale athletic event of all, March Madness. Having said that, the tacit part of the phrase, “necessary evil” is that the evil is tolerable because the goodness is so great.

At the moment, a recent high school graduate is about to stir the pot that creates the luscious stew that is college basketball. Brandon Jennings is one of those phenoms who would not go to college even for a day were it not for the NBA labor rule that he cannot enter that league until one year after his high school class graduates. He has no interest in all of the broadening experiences that make up “collegiate life”; he is a basketball player - - and by all accounts, a pretty damned good one.

He was going to “do his time” and spend a year at Arizona. Then there was some kind of an irregularity on his SAT tests that made the overseers of the testing wonder why the scores on two of the tests were so different. Those scores are very important to Jennings because without a certain score – pulled out of thin air by the NCAA mavens –, he could not play basketball while he pretended to be a student at Arizona. Please recall; he is not interested in college; he is a basketball player.

At this point, the story gets murky. Maybe Jennings decided that he just didn’t need any more of the NCAA arbitrariness on things like test scores; maybe someone whispered in his ear that he could skip college and go play pro ball overseas and not put up with all this nonsense; maybe this; maybe that; maybe the Presidents on Mount Rushmore will smile more next year. Whatever. The bottom line is that Brandon Jennings will go and play basketball in Italy next year for a team based in Rome.

Good for him.

The deal is described as a “three-year multi-million dollar deal” with a buyout that would allow him to become NBA draft material next summer. Supposedly, the Italian club will also assure that Jennings’ 13-year old brother is accepted in an English-speaking school and that the brother will get a slot on a club team in Rome for younger players.

Some folks have said that this is a horrible thing for Jennings and for basketball. Interestingly, many of those folks already told us that they don’t like the NBA labor provision that sets up the “one-and-done year” in the first place but those folks don’t seem to recognize the hypocrisy of their opposition to both things at the same time. If Brandon Jennings has “the right to play in the NBA”, then why does he not have “the right to play in Italy” if he so chooses. To quote Alexander Graham Bell:

“When one door closes, another opens but we often look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us.”

Brandon Jennings saw that newly opened door. Perhaps a less-than-loveable shoe company representative brought it to his attention; perhaps he found it himself by taking the chicken-bleep that he faced with the NCAA and college basketball and found a way to make chicken salad. Remember, he is only an 18-year-old kid who isn’t interested in education as much as basketball now. So, of course the folks who are in charge of the academic institutions that sponsor basketball teams will have something more profound to say on the matter. Actually, that’s not the case…

Lute Olsen is the “jilted” coach at Arizona. His response is that he will no longer recruit players who will leave for the NBA when they are 19. Sounds good, but somehow I don’t think that will really be the case. Olsen also said that the NCAA needs to institute a rule something like the baseball rule where once a kid enters college he has to stay for a minimum of two or three years. I guess the NCAA could do that if they stopped with the idea of granting “scholarships” to get kids to go to institutions and made it a formal contractual agreement between the “student” and the school. But then, how would they maintain the pretense of the “student-athlete”? More importantly, how would the schools avoid paying the “apprentice basketball players” in anything other than cash money? Aye, there’s the rub…

[Aside: Lute Olsen also needs to look at other aspects of the way baseball and other sports handle their dealings with young players; a 16-year old from the Dominican Republic just got an MLB signing bonus north of $4M. Brandon Jennings might have liked that deal when he was 16… Tennis players and golf phenoms can compete with professionals before they are 19 so long as their skills allow them to be competitive. ]

Let me be clear about this next point. In 99% of the cases in college basketball, the outstanding player who is a “one-and-done player” toils his year in college and postpones making himself wealthy because in that year his efforts are devoted to making his college coach wealthy. That may not be the “way it ought to be” or the “way Dr. Myles Brand would have you believe that it is”. It is merely the way of the world.

When the Knicks drafted the 19-year old kid from Italy in this draft, some fans objected because they thought the Knicks should have taken someone else. I didn’t hear anyone moan and groan because this 19-year old Italian kid was not going to play a year of NCAA basketball. I fact, he had been a pro for the last three years and had already earned lots of money and endorsements along the way. If he doesn’t care about education, why try to cram “knowledge and wisdom” down his throat? Doing that reminds me of the old adage:

“Never try to teach a pig to sing. It doesn’t work and it annoys the pig.”

I do not think that it is good for baseball, basketball, or football to have high school kids go directly into those pro leagues; in the long run, it will damage the games. But the NCAA administration of basketball in particular has become such a one-sided deal in favor of the coaches and the schools - - and ESPN and CBS too of course - - that Brandon Jennings is probably doing everyone a great service here. He is likely to make the folks who run college basketball look at the game and find a way to make it run with just a tad more honesty and integrity. Most importantly, Brandon Jennings is showing clearly that he would rather play basketball and be compensated in dollars or euros than in “the right to go to classes he doesn’t want to go to in the first place.” There is a quid pro quo in play here and Jennings has said that he doesn’t like the “currency” that the NCAA is offering up.

Good for him.

The next move belongs to the NCAA and the people who run college basketball. They have been to college so they should have a really good solution to this problem that they will be announcing shortly. I’ll be waiting to hear what they have to say. So far from Dr Myles Brand and his idealists who ponder the greatness of all those “scholar-athletes”, all we have heard is … crickets …

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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When it became apparent after the US Open that Tiger Woods would play no more golf this year, I said that the TV execs who had prepaid for the broadcast rights for golf tournaments had to be despondent. Well, some data now exist to show that if they were not feeling badly then, they ought to be feeling badly by now.

After the US Open, it would be logical to have expected Tiger Woods to play in the Buick Open because Buick is one of his major corporate sponsors. Compared to last year when Woods was on TV on Sunday, this year’s ratings were down 12%

Since Tiger Woods is the motive force behind the AT&T Invitational and since the Tiger Woods Foundation is a beneficiary of sponsorships there, it would be logical that he would have played in this year’s event. He didn’t and on Sunday, the TV ratings were down more than 40%.

Since the British Open is a major, it would be logical to have expected Tiger Woods to be in the field. He was not and Sunday TV ratings were down 15%.

The networks will continue to be hammered with low ratings and sponsors will express their displeasure over low ratings. There are really only two important golf events left on the calendar for the year; all those silly-assed skins games and manufactured events at the end of the golf season don’t amount to a modicum of moose mucous. I’d rather watch the World Snoring Championships. Important events to go this year are the PGA Championship and the Ryder Cup. The network execs at CBS and NBC who have these properties have to hope for something to pull in viewers; the PGA has to hope that TV ratings for these major golf events stay above those of the XFL during its final days.

Perhaps TV ratings of 2.0 should be called the “Jesse Ventura Line” to honor the XFL color analyst on those ill-fated telecasts and when sports/events fall below that line consistently, they should be considered minor sports? Using that yardstick, only the British Open avoided the label “minor sport”…

As an aside, I’ve read in a couple of places that the US team, which has been trounced in Ryder Cup competition recently, will have no chance whatsoever with Tiger Woods on the disabled list. I went to check and according to the data I could find, Woods is 10-13-2 in Ryder Cup competition. If that is a “fatal blow” to the US team, maybe they should reduce their carbon footprint and just stay home.

Just as golf is having trouble generating interest in the absence of Tiger Woods, the NBA continues to struggle to regain the popularity it had during the Michael Jordan days – I mean the days in Chicago and not those final days in Washington. When the Bulls beat the Jazz in the NBA Finals in the 90s, the TV ratings were almost 19; this year the Celtics Lakers series drew 9.3 and the NBA was spinning that number to say it was up more than 50% from the Spurs/Cavs series last year. If you do the math, you’ll see that this year’s ratings were ALSO down a little over 50% from ten years ago…

By the way, when you go to the supermarket and see a Wheaties box with the champion Celtics on it, ask yourself what the Celtics eat for dinner because obviously they have Wheaties for breakfast and they had the Lakers for lunch and so …

I realize that the advent of free agency and salary caps and all that stuff has changed the dynamic of the NBA to the point where teams can rise and fall more quickly than they did in the past. However, the recent historical precedents for the Lakers are not all that good. The last time a team lost the NBA Finals and then came back to win the title the next year was in 1989 when the Detroit Pistons (Isiah Thomas, Bill Lambeer, Dennis Rodman, Joe Dumars et. al.) did it.

The Clippers are trying to regain a shred of relevancy in the LA market; acquiring Baron Davis was a positive move; losing Elton Brand was a negative move; obtaining Marcus Camby was just totally mysterious. Marcus Camby is not a great player by any means but he is an excellent defender – he has been Defensive Player of the Year in the NBA – and he is a solid citizen. The Clippers got him from the Nuggets in exchange for a swap of second round draft picks in 2010. Say what? The Nuggets didn’t even get a case of athlete’s foot medication?

I realize that Camby is 34 years old, that he has a big contract (about $20 M left to go), and that he has the offensive moves of an Easter Island statue. But that cannot possibly have been the best offer the Nuggets could have gotten for him. And that leaves the Nuggets with Kenyon Martin and Nene to play center. Let’s just say that “avoiding injury” has been a major hurdle for those folks throughout their careers. Denver played only token defense as a team last season; with Camby gone, who will play defense at all?

Here is another indicator of the gigantic problems facing horseracing in the US. Clearly, the newspaper industry is in a state of flux; downsizing and cost containment are the orders of the day there. Many papers have already cut back racing coverage to the point where race results and race entries are not included in the daily papers. Now the LA Times has announced, “…the handicap charts and results from Del Mar will not be included in the daily sports report.”

For those of you who are not racing aficionados, Del Mar is the west coast version of Saratoga; it is a race meeting that lasts only about 6 weeks and it highly prestigious. If Del Mar cannot make the cut and find its way onto the daily sports pages of the LA Times, it is hard to imagine that the paper will cover much of anything beyond pinnacle events such as the Triple Crown or the Breeders’ Cup. The announcement said that “major events” during the race meeting would be covered. Don’t be surprised if the words “for the moment” were edited out of that announcement.

Finally, here is an astute observation from Mike Bianchi in the Orlando Sentinel regarding the Celtics win in the NBA Finals this year:

“I still can’t understand how Doc [Rivers] can win a championship in Boston with Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen but couldn’t win one in Orlando with Gordan Giricek, Zaza Pachulia and Tyronn Lue. . . .”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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Sometimes when you sit down in a restaurant and look at the menu, you just know you are going to have a wonderful meal. You look at the choices in front of you and so many of them look so appealing. Well, today I’m looking at my “menu” of sports topics for commentary and I just know that I am going to be really cranky by the end of this essay. There’s just a whole lot of rotten stuff out there.

I’ll begin with the latest in the Roger Clemens maelstrom. To set the stage, let me be clear that the following information comes from Brian McNamee’s attorney in the form of a “statement”. Since McNamee is involved in a lawsuit with Clemens and his attorney is not in court providing this information to a judge, let me be gracious and say that he just might be shading the information a bit to make his client look good. In fact, he may be lying through his teeth – which he would do only with great trepidation in a court in front of a judge. Nevertheless, McNamee’s lawyer says that Kirk Radomski – the already convicted steroid peddler who used to work in the Mets’ clubhouse – moved a broken TV in his home and found shipping documents under the TV that involve HGH and Roger Clemens. Voila! Just like that…

In this case, the dog didn’t eat the homework; in this case, the dog barfed up something under the broken TV that was in perfect condition. I guess that is why the call Radomski’s former employer, the Mets, - - amazing.

I wonder what the next twist and turn in this story might be:

Perhaps, a DNA test will show that Debbie Clemens is actually Amelia Earhardt on some really potent age defying drug.

Or possibly, lab analyses will show that Kirk Radomski’s DNA has a significant tendency toward that of members of the genus Mustela (weasels).

Or possibly, surveys will show that Roger Clemens’ reputation/image has fallen below that of John Wayne Gacy.

Here’s what I know; whatever comes next in the saga will likely make me even more disgusted than I am at the moment…

But that’s not all… According to a report from the British Open, John Daly said that he is peeved at swing coach, Butch Harmon, over comments made by Harmon that Daly wasn’t seriously devoted to being the best golfer he could be. Daly actually said,

“I think his lies kind of destroyed my life for a little bit.”

I bear no animus toward John Daly but in order for anyone to believe that a statement that he might – I said might – prefer drinking and carousing to practicing golf would be something that could “destroy his life”, that person would also have to believe that Green Eggs And Ham was a report on the environmental aftereffects of Chernobyl. Give me a break here… The data on Daly’s golf game in recent times is pretty clear:

He lost his PGA Tour Card; he plays now on sponsors’ exemptions.

He has entered 12 tournaments this year; he missed the cut in 9 of them.

In the last 3 years, he has missed the cut 37 out of 57 times.

Since my glass of the milk-of-human-kindness is way less than half-full at the moment, let me pose these options. Which would be the most outrageous celebrity pairing in terms of tabloid furor:

a. Alex Rodriguez and Liz Taylor

b. Charles Barkley and Della Reese

c. John Daly and Brittney Spears

d. Roger Clemens and “Hannah Montana”

e. Any permutation or combination of the people above… [shudder]

In the category of “who woulda ever thunk that,” a third cyclist in the Tour de France tested positive for EPO this year and his team resigned from the race. Competitive cycling is obviously a competition where “chemical cheating” is a way of life based on the number of “catches” made; but as a sports fan, here is what all of this tells me:

If the cyclists in this race – knowing they will be tested randomly and often – still use banned substances, doesn’t that mean that they do not believe they can possibly win the race without “chemical cheating”?

And if that picture is even half-true, how can I believe that anyone in the field who finished better than 244th is clean?

Speaking of cycling and doping, Floyd Landis lost his appeal to get his Tour de France title back. One report said he spent $4M in pursuing that appeal. Say what? Four million dollars for what? I don’t even want to know where that money came from or what it went for…

To cap off this wonderful day in sports, the NBA officiating saga has taken a turn downhill for the league - - or at least until David Stern finds a way to lecture everyone on just how meaningless all of this is and that we should pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. There are reports now that Tim Donaghy was in touch via phone with another NBA official far more frequently than one might expect two referees to be in touch with one another. And that other official worked the NBA Finals this year. Let me just quote an item from Steve Rosenbloom of the Chicago Tribune to give you the overview here:

“The NBA keeps screaming that Tim Donaghy acted as a lone fixer among referees, but get a load of this: One of the guys in Donaghy’s fave five, Scott Foster, officiated seven games in 2006-07 that moved the point spread by at least two points, and Vegas lost all seven games. The odds are less than 1 percent that such a thing occurred randomly, meaning without, say, a referee fixing it. The more the NBA keeps screaming that Donaghy acted as a lone fixer among referees, the more it seems like the NBA’s nose is growing.”

David Stern keeps trying to protect the integrity of the league and its officials. Here are two things that the Viscount of Verisimilitude should keep in mind:

1. Integrity is like virginity; you only get to lose it once.

2. If Donaghy was the only “problem child” and every other NBA ref is totally above reproach, why kill a mosquito with a ball peen hammer and hire a retired army general – who seems never to have refereed any basketball games – to oversee this part of the league’s operations?

Finally, here is an observation from Greg Cote in the Miami Herald:

“In other tennis news, Monica Seles officially announced her retirement five years after playing her last match. What’s next? A retirement confirmation from Evonne Goolagong?”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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It was more than ten years ago that I first said to a friend and colleague that the sport of boxing was morphing into pro wrestling. The occasion for that comment was when some guy jumped up to the ring ropes to interrupt a championship bout. That had been standard fare in pro wrestling for years but it seemed to be a step in the wrong direction for boxing.

Today boxing is not exactly dead, but it’s not healthy either. It would be a great term paper assignment for a sports journalism class to have the students look at the history of boxing and horseracing and then compare the glories of those sports in the past with what is there today. Part of boxing’s problem is that there are too many horrendous mismatches and far too much hype for what is delivered. Oh by the way, that is not all that different from pro wrestling…

Recently, José Canseco stepped into the boxing ring with former NFL kickoff/punt return specialist Vai Sikihama. Despite a seven inch height advantage and a fifty-pound weight advantage, Canseco lasted all of a minute-and-a-half before going paws up. This is the kind of spectacle that should never get any attention in a sport that hopes to pretend to be a “major sport”. But it got attention - - way too much attention.

Last night, James Toney and Hasim Rahman duked it out for something called the NABO heavyweight championship. Stop ten random folks that you encounter today and ask them what NABO stands for; more people will say “Nasty-Assed Body Odor” than will say “North American Boxing Organization”. In the James Toney/Hasim Rahman context, possibly both expansions of the acronym would be accurate but that’s not the point.

These two “warriors” are not as old as Methuselah, but Methuselah isn’t trying to box anymore either. They fought to a draw in 2006. Since that fight, Rahman has lost whatever title he held at the time and then fought four tomato cans with forgettable names such as Willie Last and Kenny Getup.

Toney – on the other hand – has been more visible. He did lose two fights to Samuel Peter – not to be confused with Simon Peter, Simon and Garfunkel, Simple Simon, Simon Says or Peter, Peter the Pumpkin Eater – and then he won a split decision over Danny Batschelder. The great thing about the Toney/Batschelder fight was that both fighters tested positive for “improper drugs in the bloodstream” in post-fight testing. Seriously, if they did post-event testing for pro wrestlers, how often do you think that both combatants would light up the test tubes?

So, with that backdrop, Toney and Rahman stepped into a ring such that there was an opportunity for one of them to walk out holding a championship title. Do not go to Google anyone but here is a prop bet for you:

OVER/UNDER on the combined ages for Toney and Rahman - - 78.5

What’s your call?

And if you care, James Toney won this “classic encounter” in the third round. Try to maintain your composure…

As if those two examples are not bad enough, here is an item from Dan Daly in the Washington Times that summarizes another example of how boxing is dying before your eyes:

“Speaking of altercations, 49-year-old Azumah Nelson and 44-year-old Jeff Fenech met in the boxing ring again last Tuesday -16 years after they last fought for the super featherweight title. The bout, won by Fenech on a 10-round decision, was widely denounced by such groups as the Australian Medical Association, the Ghanaian Boxing Association and the Hair Club For Men.”

I notice that the Brewers traded for CC Sabathia putting CC and Prince Fielder on the same team at the same time. Having all of that gravitational potential in the same dugout runs the risk of warping the space-time continuum sufficiently to create a small black hole, which could then devour the city of Milwaukee. My calculations say that is highly unlikely to happen but here is something that will probably have to happen:

The Brewers will need to put Omar the Tentmaker on retainer to sew team uniforms for the rest of the season.

With baseball at the halfway point of the 2008 season, it’s time for a few observations:

Was the substitution of Joe Girardi for Joe Torre such a no-brainer that even the Steinbrenner braintrust could figure it out?

How could Jeff Francoeur’s career have fallen so far so fast? He was in the running for Rookie of the Year in 2005; he played in the World Baseball Classic in 06; he hit .293 with 19 HRs and 105 RBIs last year; this year he was sent to Class AA Mississippi to work out the problems with his ability to hit a baseball.

The Pirates are only six games under .500 so they have a shot to avoid the ignominy of a 16th consecutive season below the break-even mark. The problem is their pitching. The Pirates are fifth in the NL in runs scored but they have only the eleventh best record. The team ERA is 5.24 and the starting rotation has a combined ERA of 5.64. That is not the way to win more than 81 games in a season.

Finally, I have been telling you for several years now that the Washington Nationals will not be a big draw in Washington DC unless they are championship contenders year after year after year. I have also told you that in their new stadium, there are huge blocks of empty seats for every game. Now here is what syndicated columnist Norman Chad has to say on the matter:

“So, how’s that spanking new, paid-for-by-the-people Nationals Park working out? The Nats are 12th out of 16 National League teams in home attendance in the first year of the fresh-faced, gleaming facility — your tax dollars hard at work!”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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