The Sports Curmudgeon®

They say that life sometimes imitates art. Well, I think I have discerned another “situation of imitation”. We are now 90% of the way through the Presidential primaries here in the US; and for at least the last six months, I have heard the cadre of TV political analysts huff and puff and repeat the same thing over and over again. Last night, I realized that the “Road to the Final Four” and the arguments for and against teams being included in the NCAA basketball tournament are nothing more than the same kind of “political coverage” and prognostication - - except the subject is basketball and not votes. I doubt that realization will make next year’s bloviating about the tournament and/or the “bubble teams” and/or what Northwest/Southwest A&M needs to do to advance any more palatable. However, it will explain the presence of that hot air mass settling in over the country…

By the way, there is another way that the basketball pontificating and the political predictions and analyses are very similar. In addition to the common element of endless bleatings about the obvious, all of the predictions are eventually rendered moot because of objective results. Only one team can win a basketball game; only one candidate can win a primary election. Who wins and who loses is determined outside the venue and the purview of the TV pontificators.

Enough philosophy. There was a point earlier in the NBA season where the Houston Rockets were winning 22 games in a row and it sure looked as if – even with Yao Ming injured – the Rockets had a good shot to advance in the NBA playoffs. Tracy McGrady has been on the NBA All-Star team seven times but his team has never advanced to the second round of any playoff series – in those years when his teams made the playoffs. Based on the first two games of this year’s series against the Utah Jazz, it sure looks as if that trend will continue. In addition, Tracy McGrady needs to shoulder a big part of the blame if that indeed happens this year.

In the fourth quarters of the first two games of the playoff series, McGrady has scored a total of two points and has not made a single field goal. He just missed a triple-double in Game 2, but was 0-4 from the field in the fourth quarter of what was a close game. That is not what is expected from a player making $19M this season and whose salary escalates to $23.2M in 2009/10.

In another NBA playoff series, the Cavaliers have a comfortable 2-0 lead over the Wizards. Much has been made of Brendan Haywood’s hard foul against LeBron James in that series but if anyone is buying into the idea that the Wizards are a tough/physical team, then they have not been watching the Wizards for the last decade. Some folks would like to believe that the referees are protecting LeBron James so much that the Wizards have no chance. Balderdash! Of course the referees give “star preference” to LeBron; that is NBA basketball. However, for the Wizards’ fans to think that this is the reason for the 2-0 deficit in the series is purely delusional thinking. Consider:

In Game 1, the Wizards missed eleven consecutive shots from the field in the fourth quarter.

In Game 2, they played terribly from the opening tap until the final whistle and got blown out. The way they played in Game 2 might have gotten them beaten by 10 points against the Grizzlies or the Heat.

The Dallas Mavericks have now lost 10 consecutive playoff games. After leading the Heat 2-0 in the Final series two years ago, they lost four in a row. Last year, they were the #1 seed in the NBA West and they lost four in a row to Golden State. This year they are down 0-2 to the Hornets. And unless someone on that team figures out a way to stay in the same zip code with Chris Paul, the Mavericks will continue to lose. I watched a little more than half of the second game between the Hornets and the Mavericks and the best thing the Mavs did on defense against Paul was that two players faithfully kept their eyes on Paul at all times as he dominated the game with a jillion points and a half a jillion assists.

For the record, if you actually believe that Jason Kidd has the ability to put the defensive clamps on Chris Paul in this series, I would suggest that you are living proof of reincarnation - - because no one could be that ignorant with only a single lifetime to work on it.

In baseball, the Chicago Cubs are off to a torrid start. They share the best record in MLB after 21 games. What I find hugely interesting in their record is that they have accomplished most of their success with Alfonso Soriano out of the lineup. When a team has a player on the DL who they signed to a “nine figure contract”, you would think they would be a whole lot better once he recovered and started playing again, no?

A lot has been made of the ESPN “gotcha moment” with Miguel Tejada where they presented him with his birth certificate showing that he is actually two years older than he has claimed to be. Danny Almonte jokes have abounded. If you stop and think for a moment, Miguel Tejada is still the subject of a DoJ investigation for perjury involving the whole steroid mess. Forget whether or not he could be found guilty of perjury in a court; the fact that he might be investigated for that offense indicates to me that Miguel Tejada and “The Truth” have only a casual relationship. So he lied about his age; big deal! How many guys lied about their age in order to get into a bar before they were of legal drinking age?

Here is a Quick Quiz:

1. Which MLB player will be the first to do an infomercial for a device that will give you “six-pack abs” - - Andruw Jones or CC Sabathia?

2. Will that infomercial sell 11 devices - - OVER/UNDER?

Finally, Scott Ostler had this observation in the SF Chronicle:

“Michael Vick, serving a 23-month prison sentence, will enroll in a drug-treatment program that can reduce the sentence of nonviolent offenders by as much as one year. Our family dog Petey just asked me to explain to him the part about ‘nonviolent offenders.’ “

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…