April 17, 2008
Herschel Walker’s Revelations
I am neither a psychiatrist nor a psychologist; some folks think I’m a psycho but that won’t help me here. I have no intention of judging whether Herschel Walker actually has Dissociative Identity Disorder or not; neither do I intend to make fun of person who has a mental illness – on the chance that his diagnosis is a correct one and that he really does harbor a dozen different personalities within himself. Herschel Walker was very good football player who definitely lived his life on a path that was orthogonal to most of the athletes of his day. Even if someone harbors a dislike for Walker, it would be hard to call him a ne’er-do-well or a sociopath. However, his autobiographical revelation of the existence of these multiple personalities in his body seems to balance the books on a previous event:
Back in 1989, the Cowboys traded Walker to the Vikings for five players and six draft picks – or maybe it was six players and five draft picks. Whatever. Well if Herschel had those multiple personalities, maybe the trade was pretty much an even-up deal…
Steve Rosenbloom of the Chicago Tribune had this item in his blog:
“Bears coach Lovie Smith said he supports Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama and that the senator from Illinois gave him some advice on the quarterback situation. Like what? Get one?”
Bears’ fans should not be overjoyed with a prominent politician offering advice to their team’s football coach. Richard Nixon was a football fan and supposedly, he designed a play for the Washington Redskins and gave it to then coach George Allen. The Skins ran the play in a pre-season game – surely as a friendly gesture to the President who had taken the time to communicate the idea to the team – and as I recall the play lost about 10 yards. I think you would draw a very long bow if you were to try to convince me that Lovie Smith had some unique and fertile insights into geopolitics, which may lead to immediate world peace. Similarly, you draw a long bow if you try to convince me that Senator Obama knows enough about pro football to advise a head coach … unless that advice is of the generic variety that Steve Rosenbloom has suggested here. If he told Lovie Smith that the Bears need to get a QB, then Senator Obama is on the money.
Maybe the Bears could get a QB from the Bucs. It’s not unusual for an NFL team to carry four QBs on their roster at this time of the year. If they don’t have four now, then they will often bring in a fourth QB for training camp just to provide some nominal competition for the back-up spots. However, the Tampa Bay Bucs seem to have gone to new dimensions here; I think they have five QBs on their roster and a sixth “on-hold”.
Jeff Garcia was the starter and the leader of the team last year; he’s still there. The Bucs traded to acquire Brian Griese – from the Bears – a couple of months ago; you have to think that he is in their plans as a back up since they gave up a draft pick to get him. Luke McCown and Bruce Gradkowski are both on the roster and have NFL experience – albeit that experience does not come with anything near a winning record in the NFL. Chris Simms is on the roster and is in rehab coming back from his splenectomy; he has NFL experience too. And of course, Jake Plummer is still retired and remains the “property” of the Bucs after the Bucs traded for him in years past. I guess Jon Gruden is committed to depth at the QB position…
The sports universe is 180 degrees out of phase at the moment. I for one would like to hear from Matt Walsh about what evidence he may have related to “Spygate” if only to bring closure to that entire issue. Matt Walsh is totally silent. I for one have grown hugely tired of hearing from Skip Bayless on ESPN. Skip Bayless continues his perorations.
We need to have the sports universe orbit near the event horizon of a huge black hole to put things right. Then Matt Walsh will have his say and then disappear into the night from whence he came. Simultaneously, Skip Bayless will enroll in Marcel Marceau University. That would set things right…
Assume for a moment that Brett Favre was serious and truthful when he said that he would have to think seriously about coming back to the Packers if Aaron Rodgers got hurt and couldn’t play this year. Now put yourself in the position of Rodgers’ agent with the responsibility to do what is best for your client’s career.
Question: Do you hire a team of bodyguards for Rodgers to protect him from rabid Cheeseheads who might consider injuring Rodgers?
Break up into groups of three and discuss. Then select a spokesperson from your group and report back to the rest of the class…
Golf on television drives me nuts. Not only do I have to watch a bunch of guys strolling leisurely down the fairways – be still my fluttering heart – I also have the distinct honor of watching golfers take 90 seconds or more to analyze and line-up a putt. I realize they need to do that, but it is not compelling television. Therefore, I have an idea for a televised golf event that might be more exciting. Don’t tell me that the game of golf is sacred and cannot be “altered” for television; that’s what half of the golf events in the autumn are all about.
Perhaps we could call it “Golf on Steroids” – but that might not be a good image for this new event. Maybe a better handle would be “Kentucky Derby Golf”. Here’s how it would work. Golfers would earn a score equal to the number of strokes per round PLUS the number of minutes it takes for them to complete the round. Lowest score wins. I don’t know if it would catch on, but I would certainly watch it once…
Finally, Greg Cote had this observation in the Miami Herald:
“KU rewarded championship coach Bill Self with a pay raise to keep him, after deciding this was not the time to be Self-less. (By the way, when Bill jots down a reminder of something he has to do, does he write, ‘Note to Self’?)”
But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…
