The Sports Curmudgeon®

There were a lot of rumblings about the story in the NY Daily News that Roger Clemens had a longstanding “relationship with a country music singer. If/when the entirety of this story becomes known, I will be happy to take a position on its importance. For the moment, I have only a couple of simple comments:

1. How this can be used by the defense in Clemens’ suit against Brian McNamee for defamation is not obvious to me. McNamee’s alleged defamation related to Clemens’ alleged use of steroids/HGH not about his marital fidelity.

2. If this relationship were actually sexual in nature, the important part of that would be the age of the young woman when the relationship was “consummated” in the Biblical sense. She would have been 15 when they met; he would have been 28 when they met; a sexual relationship at that time would have been more than inappropriate.

3. If there are specific allegations of a sexual liaison between Clemens and this young woman, might he offer as a defense that all he ever injected her with was Vitamin B-12? [Sorry, I couldn’t resist that one cheap shot…]

Similar numbers of rumblings occurred around the story of Caleb Campbell (S, Army) being drafted by the Detroit Lions meaning that he can indeed play NFL football if he makes the team and can fulfill his Army tour of duty obligations by working in recruiting and community outreach positions. I have heard all the arguments for and against the rule that will allow him to do that. But that is the rule that was extant when he signed on to go to West Point and play football. All he is doing is abiding by that rule which he did not instigate or implement. For those who have a gripe here, your gripe is with the Army/DoD and not with Caleb Campbell.

I have read speculation in several places that the rapidity of the first round of the NFL Draft on Saturday (it took 3 hours and 31 minutes) could lead to holding just the first round of the draft on Friday night next year in prime time from 7:00 to 11:00 PM EDT. I can see that happening for one very simple reason. NFL Network – wholly owned by the NFL – needs programming and during the off-season, they just do not have a whole lot of original programming to offer up. A move like this can help NFL Network so I do not think it will have a lot of trouble being approved.

When the NFL schedule is analyzed and parsed to levels of detail that don’t make all that much sense, you often hear about teams that the league has been unkind to with regard to travel burdens. Well, for the 2008 season, the travel burden fell pretty unkindly on the New England Patriots. In October the Pats play consecutive West Coast games against San Diego and SF; then, in December the Pats go to Seattle and Oakland on consecutive weekends.

When the Raiders drafted Darren McFadden with the fourth overall pick on Saturday, they created a logjam at tailback. Obviously, the Raiders will sign McFadden eventually and he will be in camp and on the team. Already on the roster were – in alphabetical order – Michael Bush, Adimchinobi Eschemandu, Justin Fargas, Lamont Jordan and Dominic Rhodes. That logjam got a little less congested yesterday when the Raiders released Dominic Rhodes.

Two seasons ago, Rhodes played a big part in the Indy Colts’ win in the Super Bowl over the Chicago Bears. He cashed in with a lucrative deal in Oakland despite a DUI incident proximal to that signing. The NFL suspended Rhodes for four games; he then became part of the Raiders’ backfield and now he is gone. It will be interesting to see where/if he signs on next…

There is yet another idea afloat to put an NFL team in Los Angeles. The NFL has made it abundantly clear that this is not going to happen absent a new spiffy stadium in LA and that the city fathers can continue to try to come up with ideas to make the LA Coliseum into something less awful than it currently is but that will be insufficient. Now comes forward billionaire developer, Ed Roski. He has a plan to build a stadium in the City of Industry, which is about 35 miles east of LA and where the funding for the city comes almost entirely from sales tax. The City of Industry is zoned 92% Industrial and 8% commercial; there are only a handful of permanent residents but there is good transportation to the city and it is near LA.

This plan is different from most of the other “plans” that have been proffered in the recent past. The key element here is that Roski already controls the land needed for the stadium and he claims to have in hand all the environmental impact statements needed to move forward with a stadium. There is some tug-of-war ongoing with the State legislature in California over use of a portion of this sales tax revenue for the stadium; I don’t pretend to understand all of that but if that were the single stumbling block to getting a stadium and an NFL team back in LA, I think the votes could be rounded up to make that happen.

Another factor in favor of this new proposal is the longstanding relationship between Ed Roski and Roger Goodell. The commish says that he has known Roski for a long time and that Roski is a “credible man”. That cannot hurt…

The whole story on this – at least the whole story from Mr. Roski’s position – can be found at www.losangelesfootballstadium.com. If you go there be sure to click on the options so you can see the design for the stadium itself. It is a unique design concept…

Finally, Mike Bianchi summed up much of a current sporting situation with this single line in the Orlando Sentinel recently:

“New motto for The Players Championship now that Tiger Woods will skip it while rehabbing after knee surgery: ‘We buried our ratings at wounded knee.’ ”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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The Lakers swept the Nuggets out of the playoffs. That the Lakers advanced is hardly unanticipated; that they swept is not all that stunning. Nevertheless, this does provide a glimpse at the potential for another NBA chronic underachiever. I have talked about how Tracy McGrady has never gotten his team out of the first round of the playoffs and how that indicates that he might be underachieving his “$20M salary”. Consider now Carmelo Anthony. He has been in the NBA for four years now and like McGrady, Anthony has never been on a team that made it out of the first round of the playoffs. I believe that the Nuggets with Anthony have gone 4-19 in playoff games.

In a couple of previous versions of the Nuggets, Carmelo Anthony did not have a whole lot of help on the squad. However, this year the Nuggets have Allen Iverson and Kenyon Martin out there with him. Iverson is a top shelf player; Martin was an overall first pick in the draft at one time. In one of the more interesting ironies, Marcus Camby was just named defensive player of the year on a team that allows almost 107 points per game. So, Carmelo Anthony is not out there alone trying to fend off opponents; he has a bit of help. Nevertheless, the Nuggets are going home at the end of Round 1 yet again.

Lamar Odom and Ron Artest were once on the same AAU basketball team. (I believe that Elton Brand was on that team too.) Odom shares an off-court interest with his former teammate, Artest; Odom is an aspiring music company executive. Odom has a music company called Rich Soil Entertainment and that company will release an album by a rapper known as Ali Vegas in August. [I am informed that Ali Vegas is indeed known to folks who actually listen to rap music; I do not.]

Odom, however, seems to understand a bit of how the world works that might have escaped Ron Artest’s cognitive view. Artest asked for time off during the NBA season to promote an album that he had released under his own record label; Odom is purposely waiting to make the release in August, which is the off-season in the NBA for every player. It would seem as if Odom has indeed made the connection that playing basketball provides him with the resources and the status to do other things in his life and that the resources and status from basketball need to be maintained if he wants to do other things in his life that rely on resources and celebrity status. Maybe Ron Artest should give him a call…

As the horseracing season stumbles toward Kentucky Derby Day – it’s this Saturday if you had not been keeping track – the state of horseracing is moribund. The fact that this year’s crop of three-year olds has excited exactly no one has shone the light on many of horseracing’s significant problems. Some of those problems have to do with changing demographics and changing interests of new sports fans to be sure. Other problems fall into the category of self-inflicted wounds.

The people who run racing and who own the racetracks make their money on the “take-out”. In pari-mutuel wagering, all the money goes into a pool; the track takes a percentage off the top and then distributes the remaining money to all people holding winning tickets. So, large betting pools mean large revenues for the track. That’s not so hard, is it?

The problem comes when betting pools shrink – as they have been doing for some years now. What the racing moguls have done is to raise the percentage of the “take out” thereby reducing the amount of money returned to people who have made winning wagers. Guess what that does. It makes some of the people who used to bet the races take their money and wager it elsewhere – such as on football games or basketball games or in casinos. In some of the exotic wagering pools such as superfectas, the “take out” can be as high as 25% and that is abject nonsense. On a simple sports wager, the biggest “take out” I can recall is 15% and often you can find sports wagers with 10% as the “take out”.

After the moguls have driven away some of the bettors who might provide money for the betting pools, these same geniuses card too many races on too many racing days. It may not seem logical at first, but overdoing the number of races available for betting actually decreases revenue. When the fields are short and uncompetitive or if the quality of horses entered on a day are so miserable that it is obvious that the only reason they are there is to fill out the card for the day, bettors will turn their attention elsewhere. When they turn their attention elsewhere, that is like asking the Grim Reaper to show up and do his thing.

Oftentimes, the arrival of the Triple Crown races rejuvenates an interest in horseracing. If that is the case this year, then that rejuvenated interest is muted far more than in any year that I can remember. A friend of mine who is of British extraction suggested that the reason for horseracing’s decline here is found in American history. He said that racing is indeed the sport of kings and that Americans fought a couple of wars to assure that they would have no kings. He could be right; but I think that horseracing’s decline has more to do with the blockheads who run it.

Speaking of wagers on sports, one of the Internet sportsbooks listed the odds for teams to win the MLS Championship this year. The defending champions – the Houston Dynamo – are not nearly the favorite. The Dynamo are listed at 6-1. Teams with lower odds are:

DC United (5-2)

New England Revolution (7-2)

Chivas USA (5-1)

Interestingly, the LA Galaxy is listed at 7-1 and I wonder how that can be since they have Landon Donovan (US national team star player) and David Beckham (asserted by his acolytes to still be a top-shelf player) on the Galaxy. How can there be two “world class players” on one team in a second-tier or third-tier league and still that team is not one of the top three favorites to win that league championship?

I absolutely could not make this up. Last week, on msnbc.com there was a story about three teenagers who were practicing synchronized swimming in a pool at St. Edwards State Park in Washington. They are members of the Seattle Synchronized Swim Team. All three passed out and went under at the same time. They were taken from the pool and to the hospital. I have never held synchronized swimming in any measure of high regard but synchronized swimming is more than a few steps above synchronized drowning.

Finally, Greg Cote had this item in the Miami Herald recently:

“Marlins players served food Friday at Camillus House of Miami, a homeless shelter. Given the team’s baseball-low payroll, there might or might not have been doggie bags involved.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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Let me make something clear at the outset. You cannot evaluate or “assign grades” to a team’s draft for at least the first two years - - and maybe three. I do not believe in giving out draft grades to teams the day after the draft and so I will not do that. I do have a few observations and comments about the draft and since that was the thing that dominated sports radio and TV last weekend, let me get those remarks out now.

This was the Year of the Offensive Lineman. Not only did Jake Long go first in the draft, but also seven other offensive linemen went in Round 1 compared to only five running backs, two quarterbacks one tight end and zero wide receivers. If that ever happened before, I surely do not recall it.

Rumors floated around that the New Orleans Saints were offering to trade Jamaal Brown who made the Pro Bowl not so long ago. With all the teams rushing to get offensive linemen, it is somewhat surprising that a team did not pick up on that offer.

The Arizona Cardinals’ pass defense last year was pretty bad; it was 29th in the league statistically. Yesterday, the Cards seemed to recognize that need and spent picks on cornerbacks and defensive ends/pass rushers. If the players pan out, that should improve the team.

The Carolina Panthers need a running game because they do not have a stud quarterback or a dominant passing game. They took Jeff Otha (OT, Pitt) and Jonathon Stewart (RB, Oregon) in the first round of the draft; that cannot hurt their running attack.

The Chicago Bears need a quarterback; they have for about the last 60 years. They also needed help on the offensive line and at running back and at wide receiver this year and – as usual – the Bears seemed to focus on those other needs and not quarterback. Eventually, even if only by accident, the Bears need to find a quarterback who is well above average every weekend. Maybe next year?

Denver’s defense was miserable last year; it was a major contributor to a losing season for the Broncos. Before the draft, they did acquire DT, Dwayne Robertson, from the Jets; but before anyone falls all over themselves in declaring the defensive line problems solved, please recall Denver’s history with “used defensive linemen”. Do the names Courtney Brown, Darryl Gardner and Gerard Warren ring any bells? [By the way, is Wahoo McDaniel still alive? Can he still play a little?] Anyway, the Broncos emphasized offense in their draft and that seems strange to me.

The Indianapolis Colts either plan to move some of their draftees to new positions or they have some inside information on new rule changes coming to the NFL. The Colts drafted three centers over the weekend. They already have one on the roster. The way football is currently played, you do not need more than one on the field on any given snap.

The NY Giants needed to fill the hole in their defense created by Gibril Wilson’s departure for a fat contract in Oakland. With the last pick in the first round, the Giants found the best safety in the draft - - by my evaluation. My mother always used to say it was better to be lucky than smart. The Giants were lucky AND smart; that’s got to be still better.

The Washington Redskins need help at WR and they took two WRs within their first three selections. The problem there is that the two incumbent WRs are in the midst of long-term contracts of the “$30M variety”. The guys getting the big bucks are the ones not getting the job done sufficiently to create the need to draft new players there. Just to clarify, this is not a good situation…

Dallas had the 22nd pick in the draft and took RB, Felix Jones, from Arkansas. Immediately after that, the Pittsburgh Steelers took RB, Rashard Mendenhall from Illinois. Everyone thought Mendenhall was the better pick but Jerry Jones explained the Dallas selection this way. He said that Felix Jones would be a better back-up running back to Marion Barber because Mendenhall had the potential to be an every-down back and they were looking for a back-up. You don’t think that the fact that Jerry Jones played football at Arkansas had anything to do with this selection, do you? Me neither?

The Broncos took a very large defensive tackle from Va Tech in the fourth round. According to data in the scout reports, Carlton Powell majored in “nutrition and exercise” at Va Tech. There was no mention as to whether or not he minored in “sleeping”.

The Eagles departed from their usual “no bad apples policy” taking Jack Ikegwuonu (CB, Wisconsin) in the fourth round. He faces a trial on felony charges for grand theft. In addition, Ikegwuonu – how long before he gets the nickname “Ike” which is so much easier to type? – is rehabbing from an ACL injury. So, he will not be physically able to play in 2008 but in 2009, he might not be able to play because he might be in jail or the NFL might suspend him. Strange pick…

The Bengals are no strangers to players who are “bad apples”. You might think that the Bengals might be on a course to focus sharply on “high character” draftees but if you think that, you might be wrong. The Bengals took a defensive tackle in the fifth round who is facing a trial next month on counts of DWI, driving without a license and hit-and-run. I have no information on the details of the case so I make no judgment about his innocence or guilt, but this is the fifth round of the draft where player rankings tend to collapse one upon the other. If you are the Bengals, is this a critically important player?

The Raiders traded CB, Fabian Washington, to the Ravens over the weekend. Three years ago, Washington was a mid-first round pick in the draft; this weekend, the Raiders got a 4th round pick for him. If Fabian Washington were an Yugo, he could not have depreciated any faster.

Enough with the NFL draft. If there were a Brainiac of the Month Award, this month’s winner would have to be Josh Howard of the Dallas Mavericks. Last week on Michael Irvin’s ESPN Radio show, Howard said that he enjoyed smoking marijuana in the off-season and that lots of NBA players smoked marijuana.

Forget for a moment that he admitted to breaking the law on the radio and forget for a moment that he players in a league so image conscious that it imposed a dress code on its players and forget for a moment that he threw his fellow-players under the bus with his broad and unspecific statement about their smoking habits. In addition to all of that, his comments caused people to focus on how he has been doing in the current playoff series between the Mavs and the Hornets. The answer is not so good; Howard is 15-58 from the floor in four games. One more like that and the Mavs season will be over and Josh Howard can sit back and light up and …

Finally, here is an item from Dwight Perry’s Sideline Chatter column in the Seattle Times:

“Brian’s Song (1971) and Rudy (1993) finished 1-2 in eHarmony.com’s “20 Movies That Make Men Cry,” and four other sports offerings landed in the top 17. But the news wasn’t all good.

Miami Dolphins 1-15 Season Highlights (2007), the odds-on favorite, was unexpectedly disqualified from tear-jerker consideration when judges ruled it was more of a comedy.

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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The drawings for Olympic soccer competition this summer happened a few days ago and some say that the United States team drew into an advantageous group with regard to being able to advance to the second round. Here are the Groups:

Group A: Argentina, Australia, Ivory Coast, Serbia

Group B: Japan, Netherlands, Nigeria, USA

Group C: Belgium, Brazil, China, New Zealand

Group D: Cameroon, Honduras, Italy, S. Korea

The top two teams from each round of “group play” will advance to the second round from which the medals will be determined. I am not going to pretend to be able to “break down” these pairings because I do not know nearly enough to do so. Having said that, I am shocked by the teams that are absent from the competition. Note the absence of England, France, Spain, Portugal and Germany. In World Cup play, all five of those country teams “make noise”. I realize that in the Olympics they have a shorter field and that they apportion slots geographically, but it is a bit surprising to me to see Europe “represented” by Belgium, Italy, Netherlands and Serbia.

Sometimes I wonder if the New York Yankees – as individuals and as an organization – are addicted to publicity. George Steinbrenner surely never eschewed the spotlight or the back page of the NYC tabloids. As soon as George started to quiet down, his son emerged from total obscurity to become “Yammering Hank” – the sound bite that keeps on giving. Not to miss out on the action, new manager Joe Girardi seems to have decided that in addition to his managerial duties he needs to perform paternal duties with regard to the players on the roster. Girardi has banned candy from the Yankees’ clubhouse and has asked the other teams in the league to keep it out of the visiting locker room when the Yankees are in town.

The idea here is that good nutrition is essential to sustained athletic performance and Girardi prefers to have the team nibble on dried fruit or granola than on gummy bears. While nutritionists and people who are mesmerized by the importance of the food pyramid will surely agree with him, you have to recognize that the Yankees’ roster is made up of adults who ought to be able to make their own dietary decisions when it comes to snacks.

By the way, if the food pyramid is so damned important and so carefully researched to optimize the nutrients for human health, can you explain to me why it gets changed every five years or so? What happens to the health of the people who were religiously following the last version of the food pyramid? Sounds like a class action lawsuit could be brewing there…

When teams play poorly and managers are fired, you often hear that you cannot fire the players so you have to fire the manager. Well, in Cincinnati, they have already gone through a bunch of managers recently and over the winter put Dusty Baker in charge there. The Reds are off to a miserable start; as of this morning, only the Washington Nationals have a worse record in the National League. So, the team can’t fire the players and they really can’t fire Dusty Baker yet – despite the fact that I have never been all that impressed by Baker’s managerial acumen – so the Reds took “Door Number Three”. They fired the GM and replaced him with Walt Jocketty who had been the GM in St. Louis for the last decade or so until the Cards replaced him at the end of last year. The Reds’ owner, Bob Castellini, said:

“We’ve just come to a point where we’re not going to lose anymore.”

Whom does that sound like? Cue Popeye the Sailor Man:

“I’ve had all I can stands; I can stands no more…”

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that Barry Zito’s huge contract with the Giants might be a stinking albatross around the team’s neck. He is not pitching well in SF and he has five years and more than $110M to go on that deal. Since arriving in SF, his record is 11-17. However, there are other “albatross contracts” out there in MLB; maybe they are not as big or as long as Zito’s is now, but consider these:

Jason Schmidt signed with the Dodgers for 3 years and $47M. He started six games last year and had a 1-4 record. Then, he had shoulder surgery.

Esteban Loaiza signed with Oakland for 3 years and $22M on 2006. By last August, the A’s had had enough and put Loaiza on waivers and Christmas came in August. The Dodgers claimed Loaiza and thereby became responsible for the final part of last year’s salary and the continuation of his deal at about $7M per year. His ERA with the Dodgers so far is 6.30.

Juan Pierre signed with the Dodgers - - are you picking up a trend here - - for 5 years and $44M. Pierre is now a part-time player for the Dodgers who are upset with the fact that he is an aggressive hitter who rarely walks and who is not a great defensive outfielder. Excuse me, but that was Juan Pierre before he signed on in LA; why are the Dodgers upset that he is exactly the player they signed?

Andruw Jones signed a 2-year contract for $36M with – you guessed it – the Dodgers last winter. Jones is listed on the Dodgers’ roster as weighing 210 lbs. Take a look at him during any televised game and play “Over/Under” 250 lbs; if it’s after lunch and before game time, take OVER. Jones has one full season where he hit .300 or better in his entire career; that’s worth $18M per?

Carl Pavano - proving that the Dodgers do not have a corner on the bad contracts in MLB - signed a 4 year contract with the Yankees for $52M three years ago. It has one year left to go and so far, the Yankees have gotten 111 innings out of him producing a losing record and a 4.77 ERA. Pavano had a career losing record and a history of injury problems at the time the Yankees made their offer.

AJ Burnett signed a 5-year $55M deal with the Blue Jays in 2006. In the first two years of that deal, he won 10 games each season. If that does not seem worth $11M per year to you, consider that Burnett had a career losing record when the Jays signed him and that he has never won more than 12 games in a season in his career.

Finally, whenever you feel tempted to curse the fates for some minor tribulation in your life, think about going through life with the name Ugly Johnny Dickshot. No, he was not a reject from a Playgirl centerfold photo shoot; he was a baseball player in the 1940s. Google is your friend…

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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They say that life sometimes imitates art. Well, I think I have discerned another “situation of imitation”. We are now 90% of the way through the Presidential primaries here in the US; and for at least the last six months, I have heard the cadre of TV political analysts huff and puff and repeat the same thing over and over again. Last night, I realized that the “Road to the Final Four” and the arguments for and against teams being included in the NCAA basketball tournament are nothing more than the same kind of “political coverage” and prognostication - - except the subject is basketball and not votes. I doubt that realization will make next year’s bloviating about the tournament and/or the “bubble teams” and/or what Northwest/Southwest A&M needs to do to advance any more palatable. However, it will explain the presence of that hot air mass settling in over the country…

By the way, there is another way that the basketball pontificating and the political predictions and analyses are very similar. In addition to the common element of endless bleatings about the obvious, all of the predictions are eventually rendered moot because of objective results. Only one team can win a basketball game; only one candidate can win a primary election. Who wins and who loses is determined outside the venue and the purview of the TV pontificators.

Enough philosophy. There was a point earlier in the NBA season where the Houston Rockets were winning 22 games in a row and it sure looked as if – even with Yao Ming injured – the Rockets had a good shot to advance in the NBA playoffs. Tracy McGrady has been on the NBA All-Star team seven times but his team has never advanced to the second round of any playoff series – in those years when his teams made the playoffs. Based on the first two games of this year’s series against the Utah Jazz, it sure looks as if that trend will continue. In addition, Tracy McGrady needs to shoulder a big part of the blame if that indeed happens this year.

In the fourth quarters of the first two games of the playoff series, McGrady has scored a total of two points and has not made a single field goal. He just missed a triple-double in Game 2, but was 0-4 from the field in the fourth quarter of what was a close game. That is not what is expected from a player making $19M this season and whose salary escalates to $23.2M in 2009/10.

In another NBA playoff series, the Cavaliers have a comfortable 2-0 lead over the Wizards. Much has been made of Brendan Haywood’s hard foul against LeBron James in that series but if anyone is buying into the idea that the Wizards are a tough/physical team, then they have not been watching the Wizards for the last decade. Some folks would like to believe that the referees are protecting LeBron James so much that the Wizards have no chance. Balderdash! Of course the referees give “star preference” to LeBron; that is NBA basketball. However, for the Wizards’ fans to think that this is the reason for the 2-0 deficit in the series is purely delusional thinking. Consider:

In Game 1, the Wizards missed eleven consecutive shots from the field in the fourth quarter.

In Game 2, they played terribly from the opening tap until the final whistle and got blown out. The way they played in Game 2 might have gotten them beaten by 10 points against the Grizzlies or the Heat.

The Dallas Mavericks have now lost 10 consecutive playoff games. After leading the Heat 2-0 in the Final series two years ago, they lost four in a row. Last year, they were the #1 seed in the NBA West and they lost four in a row to Golden State. This year they are down 0-2 to the Hornets. And unless someone on that team figures out a way to stay in the same zip code with Chris Paul, the Mavericks will continue to lose. I watched a little more than half of the second game between the Hornets and the Mavericks and the best thing the Mavs did on defense against Paul was that two players faithfully kept their eyes on Paul at all times as he dominated the game with a jillion points and a half a jillion assists.

For the record, if you actually believe that Jason Kidd has the ability to put the defensive clamps on Chris Paul in this series, I would suggest that you are living proof of reincarnation - - because no one could be that ignorant with only a single lifetime to work on it.

In baseball, the Chicago Cubs are off to a torrid start. They share the best record in MLB after 21 games. What I find hugely interesting in their record is that they have accomplished most of their success with Alfonso Soriano out of the lineup. When a team has a player on the DL who they signed to a “nine figure contract”, you would think they would be a whole lot better once he recovered and started playing again, no?

A lot has been made of the ESPN “gotcha moment” with Miguel Tejada where they presented him with his birth certificate showing that he is actually two years older than he has claimed to be. Danny Almonte jokes have abounded. If you stop and think for a moment, Miguel Tejada is still the subject of a DoJ investigation for perjury involving the whole steroid mess. Forget whether or not he could be found guilty of perjury in a court; the fact that he might be investigated for that offense indicates to me that Miguel Tejada and “The Truth” have only a casual relationship. So he lied about his age; big deal! How many guys lied about their age in order to get into a bar before they were of legal drinking age?

Here is a Quick Quiz:

1. Which MLB player will be the first to do an infomercial for a device that will give you “six-pack abs” - - Andruw Jones or CC Sabathia?

2. Will that infomercial sell 11 devices - - OVER/UNDER?

Finally, Scott Ostler had this observation in the SF Chronicle:

“Michael Vick, serving a 23-month prison sentence, will enroll in a drug-treatment program that can reduce the sentence of nonviolent offenders by as much as one year. Our family dog Petey just asked me to explain to him the part about ‘nonviolent offenders.’ “

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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Unlike many of the people who write about the upcoming NFL Draft, I do not pretend to have put in hundreds of hours of work breaking down films and working the phones. The reason I don’t pretend to have done that is that I have not done that - - although I really wonder if all of the other “experts” who claim to have done so really have done so. Here is my claim:

I like college football. Therefore, I watch a lot of college football. For the hell of it, I keep a notepad with me while I watch most of those games and when I see a player that I think has pro potential, I make a note of it.

That’s all there is to it. And now this is sort of a compendium of my notes.

There is an obvious bias here; I really only can give you first hand knowledge of players on teams that have been on TV in a geographic area where I happened to be at the time. So, even if there was a hugely impressive performance in the Rocky Mountain College/Dickinson State game in Wherever North Dakota, I would not be able to tell you about it because I had no chance to see it. In a few rare cases, I will relate here the comments of others about a player I have never seen; those cases will be clearly identified.

In the past, I’ve identified late round picks who actually made the roster of the team that drafted them and then went on to play for that team. I’ve also identified players who never drew even a whit of interest from NFL teams. I’m not a scout; I don’t claim to be one; I don’t have a pipeline into the “scouting network”. Whatever…

Let’s start with quarterbacks:

I saw Delaware play in two of the Division 1-AA playoff games and was impressed with QB, Joe Flacco. He is not fleet afoot by any means but my notes say he is “huge”. Indeed, he is listed as 6/7” tall and he probably looked big by comparison because he was playing in Division I-AA games; but in addition to being physically large, he has a strong and accurate arm. Can he step in and be a starter in Game 1 of the 2008 NFL season? No. Can he be developed into a starter? I think so. Before he went to Delaware, he was at Pitt and left there because the Pitt folks picked someone else to be the starting QB there.

I started out very impressed by Brian Brohm of Louisville; my first notes say he is a candidate for the Academic All-America team (always good for a QB) and that he is very accurate with his throws. Subsequent notes say his arm isn’t that strong and that he floats the ball too much. Because of the competition he played against, he’ll probably be taken ahead of Joe Flacco but I’m not sure that Brohm will be the better pro QB.

Matt Ryan is the acclaimed best QB in the draft. My notes say “good arm but not great”, “accurate passer”, “mobility against college defenders will not translate to mobility in NFL” and “not worth playing him ‘QB money’ high in first round”. Obviously, I differ from the common wisdom here; so be it.

I was underwhelmed by Kentucky QB André Woodson. My notes say “slow to deliver the ball”, “throws into traffic a lot” and “not real accurate”. Lots of folks have been raving about him for the last two years, so that’s why I focused on him while watching Kentucky play last year. I’d take him in really late rounds but not before that.

Colt Brennan can surely throw the football even though he looked awful in the bowl game against Georgia. Any QB will look bad when he is being knocked from pillar to post by defensive linemen who overmatch the offensive lineman nominally protecting that QB. Nevertheless, his numbers are inflated by the system he played in and his performance in that big game was horrible. He’ll be a late round pick - - but if he gets on a good team and takes a couple of years to learn how to play big time football and plays with protection, he could be pretty good.

Dennis Dixon has impressive running skills and an accurate if not a powerful arm. Playing in Oregon’s spread offense means he would have a major transition to make in the NFL in any circumstances. On top of that, his knee injury at the end of the season – surely aggravated by his decision to try to play on it – makes him an even bigger gamble. All my notes on Dixon are positive, but I don’t think I’d spend a first day pick on him at this point.

Finally, there are three QBs for major football programs that I saw who I noted were not worth spending a draft pick on. My notes say that if these guys are free agents, you could think about signing them and seeing if they can scramble to make your developmental squad. They are Anthony Morelli (Penn State), John David Booty (USC) and Erik Ainge (Tennessee).

Moving on to running backs:

Jonathan Stewart (Oregon) has the most positive comments on my sheets. I said I liked his strength and his aggressive running style. I also liked that he caught the ball on the few occasions when they threw it to him and that he blocked well out of the backfield. He’s built like a bowling ball and runs low to the ground. The bad news is that he had surgery on his toe and that might drop him to the point where he could be an ever-loving steal in the draft. I liked him a lot.

Because I liked Jonathon Stewart, I also liked Rashard Mendenhall (Illinois). I saw speed, strength, aggressiveness, and blocking skills here. And he has not had toe surgery any time recently…

I had mixed feelings about Darren McFadden (Arkansas). I noted that he is very fast and that he’s effective returning kicks. I also noted that lots of his plays come from direct snaps from center where he lines up where a shotgun QB would line up; that’s not gonna happen in the NFL. And I don’t think he will be an aggressive runner at the NFL level where he gains a couple of yards after every initial contact. Everyone says to pick him in the top five; I would not pick him nearly that high…

While I was watching Delaware in those Division I-AA playoff games, I also noticed RB, Omar Cuff. He’s not going to be a star in the NFL and he won’t be drafted on Saturday, but I have notes here that say he is a “tough runner” and has “good speed”.

Ray Rice (Rutgers) looked spectacular on some plays and decidedly mediocre on others. My notes say “wildly inconsistent” and “starter in NFL if he plays up to potential”. There aren’t loads of great running backs in this draft; nonetheless, his up and down play would lead me to wait until late in the draft to take him.

With regard to Mike Hart (Michigan), my note reads “too small and too slow”. Sorry to all the Michigan fans out there.

Cory Boyd (So. Carolina) impressed me as big and “quick to the hole” Also he caught the ball when they threw it to him. The negative side of my notes say “not a breakaway threat”. He’s probably a late round selection or a guy you sign as a free agent if he goes undrafted.

I only saw one fullback that made enough of an impression on me to write down anything on my notepad. That was Owen Schmitt (West Virginia) and I really was impressed with his blocking ability. He can block in a passing situation from a “fixed stance” and he can block effectively on running plays to get the running back out on the edge. He is “not a game breaker but a guy who will help an offense with his fundamental blocking skill.” I doubt he’ll go on the first day of the draft, but some team will get a pretty good player in the fifth or sixth round of this draft…

With tight ends, I think it is important to look at them for their blocking abilities in addition to their abilities to run patterns and catch the ball. So I like these guys for different reasons:

John Carlson (Notre Dame) is a very good blocker on running plays and he can catch the ball when he gets his hands on it. He is “not fast – looks like he’s running knee deep in peanut butter”. He also covered punts. There is no reason to draft him in the first round but my notes say “should make a roster in the NFL as a late-round pick”.

Dustin Keller (Purdue) is “fast for a tight end” and has “very good hands”. But I also said that he was “unimpressive as a blocker on run plays and when double-teaming a defensive end.” Again, he is probably a late round pick.

Anthony Hill (NC State) is “big as a house and not a whole lot faster” than a house. A screen graphic said he weighed 270 lbs; my guess is that would be the case if you weighed him before lunch. Power blocking is his calling card; he should be available late in the draft.

A friend says that Adam Bishop (Nevada) is a sleeper in the draft and someone who will make an NFL squad for sure next year. I saw Nevada play Boise State last year and found no reason to take any notes on Adam Bishop. So, I mention his name here only because he was mentioned to me in a very specific way.

Before talking about wide receivers in this draft, I want to say that drafting wide receivers in the first round – particularly in the early stages of the first round – is a dangerous proposition. Just off the top of my head, here are a few WRs who cost their teams a first round pick – and first round pick signing bonus money – and who never amounted to much more than a dollop of donkey dung in the NFL: RJ Soward, Mike Williams, Troy Williamson, Freddie Mitchell, David Terrell and Charles Rogers. So, for teams considering a wide receiver with a top 15 selection, the words to remember ought to be caveat emptor.

Going through my notes, I notice that I have very few mentions of wide receivers in there. That means either I slept through a huge fraction of the passing plays in the college football season or that there were only three wide receives worth the time and energy to write something down about. I suspect it was the latter. Nevertheless:

James Hardy (Indiana) is tall, big, and fast and can catch anything he gets his hands on. He does not look particularly fast so he’s probably not going to be an NFL “vertical threat”. He blocked on running plays, which is always a plus. He “will be drafted on the first day.”

Mario Manningham (Michigan) is big and strong and goes aggressively after balls thrown high in the air. That’s the good news. He also “drops passes that NFL WRs will be expected to catch.” And, he’s just not very fast - - which could be his undoing in the NFL. I’d pass on him unless it was a really late round in the draft.

DeShawn Jackson (Cal) is the opposite of Manningham. Jackson can fly but he’s really small. I doubt that he weighs 180 pounds with all of his gear on. He catches the ball well and did some kick returning. My notes say, “if NFL team that wears blue uniforms takes him, he’ll look like a Smurf”.

Another friend sent along a note praising Akron WR, Jabari Arthur telling me that Arthur caught 15 passes in a single game last year. That’s impressive at any level of the game even if one is playing against a defensive secondary made up exclusively of zombies. I thanked this person for his note and promised to mention it here; then I got a follow up note after the Motor City Bowl asking me if I had seen Jabari Arthur in that game. Of course, I had not; but my correspondent mentioned that Arthur “caught nine passes for 180 yards” in that game against Memphis. Take all this information for what it’s worth; my correspondent may have been Jabari Arthur’s older brother for all I know. I can tell you with certainty that I do not know Jabari Arthur from King Arthur or Bea Arthur.

Several offensive linemen were impressive last year. Because the NFL moves these players around so often, I just try to look for guys who are big, strong and quick and who have sound blocking techniques. I don’t “project” them as left tackles or right guards or whatever.

My notes on Jake Long (Michigan) say that he “buries defenders lots of the time” and that he can pass block as well as he can run block. The stats say Long is 6’7” tall and weighs 315 lbs. This is the kind of offensive lineman I tend to like. According to reports this week, Long has signed with the Miami Dolphins as the #1 overall pick in the draft.

Gosder Cherilus (Boston College) is also a “very large human being” who hustles and “plays hard on every play”. I also noted that he was downfield on running plays throwing blocks. I liked him a lot too.

Brandon Albert (UVa) is big and blocks well on run plays and pass plays. Maybe he so good because he has to practice against Chris Long every day? My note says “sure to be gone by end of Round 2”. If the signing of Jake Long starts a run on offensive linemen, then he may be gone by the middle of the first round.

Fernando Velasco (UGa) was always aggressive and usually successful in getting his man out of the play. A screen graphic said he had played both guard and center for Georgia so that can’t be a bad thing for an NFL team looking for help on the OL. My notes say, “mid-round pick”.

I liked Steve Justice (Wake Forest) at center because of his quickness off the ball. My notes say, “second day pick”.

Two other offensive linemen made my list with the simple notation “worth taking if available late in the draft”. Those were Tony Hills (Texas) and Mike McGlynn (Pitt).

By the way, I mentioned above that I watched the Nevada/Boise State game last season. I made no notes about Boise State tackle Ryan Clady. Some now think he is one of the top two or three offensive linemen in the entire draft. Sorry, but I just didn’t notice him…

On the defensive side, I had fewer players than usual highlighted. Maybe I was mesmerized by all the spread formations in college football last year and didn’t focus on defense as much as I usually do. Or maybe, this is not a draft loaded with defensive stars in the making? Whatever…

On the defensive line, I noted several players:

Glenn Dorsey (LSU) and Chris Long (UVa) were obvious standouts. Watching them in different games, I made the same note about each player, “If you need a DT (or DE) and you don’t take this guy, then what do you think you need?”

Quentin Groves (Auburn) “will be a pass rushing specialist” either as a DE or as an OLB depending on the defensive philosophy of the team that gets him. My notes say he ran down a sweep to the wide side of the field away from him and stopped play for no gain. He is both quick and fast.

Cliff Avril (Purdue) is also someone who may be a DE or an OLB. He is a good pass rusher and he uses his hands well to get off blocks on running plays to his side of the field.

Keilen Dykes (West Virginia) was a “run-stopper” who didn’t get moved around very much. My notes say take him on the second day of the draft.

DeMario Pressley (NC State) is also a run-stopper who also gets good push inside on passing plays. How does NC State turn out so many good defensive linemen and linebackers and still remain a mediocre team? That’s a mystery of the universe.

Derrick Harvey (Florida) is a “pass rushing machine”. My notes say he “can probably scratch his ankles without bending over”; he has a huge wingspan. My notes say “third round - - maybe second”.

Carlton Powell (Va Tech) is “big and strong” but “not fleet afoot”. My notes say “late round pick because of his size and strength”.

Please note that Vernon Gholston (Ohio State) is not on my list here. I saw Ohio State play at least twice last year and maybe three times and I was never moved to write his name on my notepad. Perchance I failed to recognize his greatness; perchance he is one of those “workout wonders” who rocket up the draft charts every year. If I am right and he was not worth noting last year as an outstanding player, then the two words every team tempted to take him in the top Ten must remember are these: Mike. Mamula.

I also did not make any notes about Sedrick Ellis (USC) and he too has been written about as a highly regarded defensive end in this draft. I never said I was perfect…

A few linebackers impressed me:

Dan Connor (Penn State) seemed to be “in on every tackle of the game”. I also liked the fact that he was fast enough to play pass defense effectively. My notes say, “first round pick”.

Keith Rivers (USC) “sheds blockers well” and seems to be around the ball a lot. He’s probably a second round pick.

Curtis Lofton (Okla) is a hard hitter but my notes say he “doesn’t cover pass routes well”. I said Lofton was a second round/third round pick.

Vince Hall (Va Tech) is a big hitter but he is awfully short for an inside linebacker. My notes say, “looks like Sam Mills reincarnated”. Now if he could play as well as Sam Mills, that would be just fine …

Xavier Adibi (Va Tech) is a speed rushing outside linebacker. He might be a teams “designated sacker”. My notes say he “tends to get pushed around on power runs to his side”.

Now that I look at my notes as a whole, this would not be a great year for an NFL team to be looking to “get well” in their defensive backfield based on the draft. I only have six players mentioned in my notes in defensive backfield positions and some of them are “lesser round picks”.

Tracy Porter (Indiana) is a cornerback who is good if not great in coverage but is a “sure tackler”. My notes say he is also “small”. Depending on the source you read, he is listed at 5’ 9” or 5’ 10”. He’ll see much bigger receivers in the NFL.

Antoine Cason (Ariz) is a cornerback who covers well and who is a hard hitter. What I liked particularly about Cason was that he “hustled on every play”.

Aquib Talib (Kansas) is a good coverage guy who is also a decent tackler. But my notes say he “might be a step slower than an NFL cornerback needs to be”.

Josh Barrett (Ariz St) is “fast” “good in coverage” and “a solid hitter”. That sounds like a good strong safety pick to me.

Kenny Phillips (Miami) is “a big hitter and very quick”. He should be a solid safety – probably free safety – in the NFL.

Trae Williams (U So Fla) is “very fast but very small”. I say he’s worth a look on the second day of the draft.

I saw only one punter and one kicker worth noting all of last year.

Durant Brooks (GaTech) was a punter with a big leg who got lots of distance plus hang time on his punts.

Taylor Mehlhalf (Wisconsin) had some booming kickoffs deep into the end zone when I saw him.

So there it is. In addition to having your draft tracker on the laptop next to your easy chair this weekend as you watch the NFL Draft, you can also have this listing open and available to you. It probably will not add to your viewing enjoyment all that much, but it can’t hurt either.

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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Ray Ratto suggested in a column on cbs.sportsline that the Yankees should sign Frank Thomas and Barry Bonds. He thought that would create enough of a distraction for Hank Steinbrenner that “Yammering Hank” would stop trying to manage the Yankees’ starting rotation.

Scott Ostler in a column in the SF Chronicle wondered if the Oakland A’s fast start might convince the A’s front office to forget about any rebuilding program and make a run at the playoffs this year. In that case, might they sign the tandem of Bonds and Thomas?

The problems associated with signing Bonds are well known. The “problem” with Frank Thomas is that his contract in Toronto had a clause in it guaranteeing him $10M next year if he played a certain amount this year. And the way he started off the season, it looked as if he is out of gas. So, any team thinking of signing this pair of aging sluggers is thinking outside the box; and in that spirit, let me suggest to any such general manager that he take the next logical step:

Sign Thomas and sign Bonds and sign Sammy Sosa.

Of course, the field manager of that squad may need a whip and a chair to keep order in that clubhouse…

Yankees’ reliever, Kyle Farnsworth, was suspended for three games for throwing a big time fastball behind Manny Ramirez’ head. It’s a good thing for Ramirez that he didn’t get hit in the head; it also makes me wonder how long the suspension might have been had Farnsworth hit him. But the strangest part of all this was the reaction of some of the Yankees and some of the people who cover the Yankees. They didn’t think it was that big a deal. They thought it should have been handled as a “no harm no foul” situation. I wonder if they would think the same way if Derek Jeter had a 95 mph fastball come within two inches of his cranium. Somehow, I doubt it…

Supposedly, Doris Day and Mickey Mantle got to know each other in the Biblical sense back in 1962. Greg Drinnan of the Kamloops Daily News put that entire story in perspective:

“The Mick played in only 123 games that season, meaning he spent a lot of the season listed as Day-to-Day.”

A high school baseball game in Japan ended with one out in the second inning and the score of 66-0. The manager of the team on the short end of that score asked the umpires to stop the game earlier than the standard four innings when the “slaughter rule” would kick in. One reason he did that was that his starting pitcher – who was still in the game – had already thrown 250 pitches and had only managed to get four batters out. And in the second inning, the opposing team had already scored 40 runs with only one out… Is there anyone else on that team who might be able to pitch as well as that starting pitcher? If not, maybe canceling the entire season based on a “mercy rule” might be in order for that squad.

In addition to offering wagering opportunities on all NBA playoff games, some of the Internet sportsbooks also have some proposition bets on those playoffs. At bodoglife.com, you can wager on who will be the MVP of the NBA Finals, which is interesting because that will also make you project at least one of the teams in that final series. Kevin Garnett (at 3-1) and Kobe Bryant (at 4-1) were the shortest odds offered. Shaquille O’Neal, who has won that award three times in the past, was at 50-1.

The Denver Nuggets play the LA Lakers in the opening round of the NBA Playoffs. With Carmelo Anthony and Allen Iverson the Nuggets try to outscore opponents because the team’s defense is virtually nonexistent; they gave up almost 107 points per game this year. Against a team like the Lakers who can score in a lot of ways, this is not a series where you want to try to keep score in your head.

By the way, the last time the Nuggets played a Los Angeles team in the playoffs, they made history. In that previous encounter, the Nuggets became the only team in NBA history to lose a playoff series to a team owned by Donald Sterling. Since the Clippers are not in the playoffs this year, the Nuggets’ place in history remains safe for the time being.

The following data comes courtesy of Bob Ryan of the Boston Globe. You really do need to pay attention to the exploits of LeBron James because they are prodigious ones indeed. Because he has no one of all-star caliber around him, that makes his Cavaliers less than a “team for the ages”; nonetheless, LeBron James is special. Consider:

LeBron is already the leading scorer in Cavaliers’ history.

LeBron has already scored more than 10,000 points.

LeBron is only 23 years old – younger now than Larry Bird was as a rookie.

The Duke lacrosse affair is not yet over. The lacrosse players who were never even indicted in that whole fiasco have filed a suit against Duke University and the city of Durham NC. I don’t pretend to understand the legal theory behind that suit, but it exists. Those players have set up a website – Dukelawsuit.com – where there is discussion of the case and progress made and all that sort of stuff. The lawyers for Duke and for Durham recently tried to get the judge to close the site and to apply sanctions to the lawyers for the players for violating the North Carolina Code of Professional Responsibility. The judge refused to do that. That attempt and the judge’s ruling raise a couple of interesting points:

1. If there is no “gag order” in place for the trial, then how can Duke and Durham justify abridging the plaintiffs’ right of free expression by asking for this website to be closed?

2. It seems to me that the reason there are any lawsuits involved in this matter at all is based on the fact that someone violated the North Carolina Code of Professional Responsibility - - and it wasn’t the lawyers for the players.

Finally, here is an item from Dwight Perry’s column, Sideline Chatter, in the Seattle Times:

The annual Rindhovda Rundt ski race in Gudbrandsdalen, Norway, won’t be crowning a 2008 champion, the Oslo Aftenposten reported, after organizers canceled this year’s event because of a moose infestation on the groomed trails.

In other words, somebody’s reign just got called on account of game.

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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It wasn’t all that long ago that I grudgingly offered a word of praise to the NCAA because they did not allow college football teams with losing records to play in their bowl games. That could change. The NCAA has applications for three new bowl games – we need them only slightly more than we need a new TV channel that features Celine Dion music 24/7 – and the NCAA is expected to approve those applications. The new games would be played in Washington DC, St. Petersburg FL and Salt Lake City UT. And with the addition of these three games, the NCAA draws perilously close to having a team with a losing record play in a bowl game.

Last year there were 32 bowl games; that required 64 teams with at least a 6-6 record. Last year there were 71 teams who hit that mark. With three new games, that will require 70 teams with at least a 6-6 record and if there aren’t a sufficient number of dead awful teams out there going 0-12 and/or 1-11, there is no guarantee that there will be 70 teams at .500 or better. Remember, there are only about 120 teams playing Division 1A college football.

Speaking of college football, there was a story on gatorsports.com that Florida sophomore speedster Percy Harvin had a heel injury that would keep him out of spring practice. Coach Urban Meyer said:

“It’s a heel injury and it’s gone up into his knee. We had a specialist from North Carolina and two guys, a foot specialist from here, and also (head team physician) Dr. Pete (Indelicato). We’re coming up with a plan and should have it in the next couple days.”

I don’t want to be accused of practicing medicine without a license here, but it seems as if this condition could be caused by something that we all know:

The heel bone’s connected to the anklebone…
The anklebone’s connected to the leg bone…
The leg bone’s connected to the knee bone…

With the NCAA Women’s basketball tournament Final Four in the Tampa/St. Petersburg area, the Tampa Tribune had a story proximal to the Finals there with this headline:

‘’Final Four Gives Lesbians Forum To Celebrate Women.'’

In the article itself, these two quotations appear:

‘’I don’t care about sports. I can’t wait to check out all the parties and the great lesbian scene.'’

‘’I don’t know what percentage of fans are gay, but I know that all lesbians support women’s college athletics.'’

Let me be perfectly clear about something here. I do not care even a little bit if women who are lesbians are fans of women’s college athletics. I do not care if women who are lesbians use the women’s Final Four as a reason to come together and enjoy each other’s company at parties. I don’t care if individual women choose to be lesbians or heterosexuals or asexuals. All of that is their business and not mine.

The NCAA probably felt as if it needed to respond to this business. I would not have responded were I in charge of the NCAA but someone there or one of their PR consultants convinced them to say something. And here was the NCAA’s response:

‘’To say any NCAA championship appeals to a certain percentage of a particular segment of the population, especially without scientific backing, is without merit. The truth is each tournament appeals to a core group of fans but that core is as diverse as the American population itself.'’

That sounds good and it certainly pushes the right buttons - - unless you read it analytically. The NCAA characterizes the appeal of their women’s basketball tournament to lesbians as “without merit” because there is no scientific backing to that claim. Then in the next breath it asserts that the women’s tournament appeals to fans “as diverse as the American population itself” - - which is also without any scientific backing. If the claim of “appeal to lesbians” is without merit, then so is the assertion by the NCAA.

Please remember, this is the organization run by Dr. Myles Brand who told us how he – as a former university president – was going to marshal the forces of university presidents around the country to keep athletics in line with the mainstream mission of universities everywhere.

Memo to Dr. Myles Brand: Teaching students to use logical reasoning as the foundation for debate on issues in contention has been part of the mainstream mission of universities for centuries. Perhaps, you might get some of your NCAA minions to take a refresher course there…

Al McGuire was a character - - in addition to being a very good basketball coach. After he retired from coaching, McGuire teamed with Dick Enberg and Billy Packer to do NCAA basketball telecasts. That trio was outstanding. McGuire’s quick wit and his fundamental lightheartedness about college basketball kept Billy Packer in line and kept Packer from being the annoying scold he tends to be. Now, Dick Enberg has written a one-man play called McGuire. According to reviews, it captures the essence of Al McGuire. If that is the case and if it comes to my part of the world, I’ll be checking it out.

Finally, here is a comment from Greg Cote in the Miami Herald from several months ago:

“German pole-vaulter Yvonne Buschbaum announced she will undergo a sex change and become a man. I didn’t believe it at first. Thought it was just one of those ‘’he said, she said'’ things.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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Yesterday, I read that Tiger Woods training regimen included a 7-mile run every time he worked out. There’s nothing wrong with long distance running but when you juxtapose that concept with the fact that he had a knee injury, which required surgery right after the Masters, you have to wonder what kind of training advice Tiger Woods was getting. You would think that he could afford to have the best. I cannot imagine how running 7 miles on an injured/damaged knee would make it better…

Believe it or not, Isiah Thomas was not the first NBA coach to lose his job this season. The Milwaukee Bucks fired Larry Krystkowiak while there are only reports that Thomas will not continue on as the Knicks’ head coach. The Knicks’ new basketball honcho, Donnie Walsh has said that he wanted to take some time to evaluate the situation in NY before taking any major actions in his new position. It would be hard to find fault with that. However, he also said regarding Thomas, “I think he’s got the skills to help this franchise.”

Excuse me, but if Isiah Thomas is not the head coach of the Knicks’ team, I cannot imagine any other part of the organization where his skills might help. Can he stay on as the GM? I don’t think so; he’s already signed a roster full of shooting guards and power forwards to humongous contracts and then he has to play people out of position because he overloaded the roster with shooting guards and power forwards. Can he be the “face of the franchise” in the community outreach department? I don’t think so; Josef Mengle and Isiah Thomas are about equally popular in NYC at the moment.

There is an AP report that several members of the US House of Representatives will introduce a resolution calling on the Justice Department to investigate whether or not the college football BCS series violates federal antitrust laws. The idea is that only the largest schools get to compete in these most lucrative games and therefore this is an illegal restraint of trade. I am of two minds on this one.

First of all, I think the Congress of the United States has much bigger fish to fry than the potential inequities of the BCS. I really wish that the people who have been elected to the Congress would find the time, energy and intellect to address some of the major problems in a constructive way. Such actions might require a small measure of altruism on their part and altruism is a commodity in very, very short supply in Washington DC. To make my point about altruism, the Representatives who will introduce this resolution are from Hawaii and Idaho (states where undefeated teams were not allowed to compete in the BCS Championship Game) and Georgia (state where its football team was “passed over” for a slot in the Championship Game last year).

On the other hand, making the BCS - - and by extension the NCAA - - face up to the antitrust laws in their activities is probably a good thing. The NCAA and the BCS rule by fiat and basically answer to no higher authority. Their decisions cannot be appealed; they are manifest as “take it or leave it” propositions for the sports fans. There was already one antitrust suit brought against the NCAA by the previous owners of the NIT and the NCAA thought it was better to settle that case out of court than it was to let a judge hear the case. So maybe a DoJ investigation wouldn’t hurt…

I have to give the NCAA a smidgen of credit here - - albeit grudgingly. At least the NCAA will not allow a team with a losing record to play in a bowl game. True, some can come out of a bowl game with a losing record, but no one will have one going in. Would that the same were the case in the NBA and/or the NHL.

Since I was talking about college football, there is another story out there to consider. Students at the University of Tennessee have always gotten free tickets to UT football games as part of their “student activity fee” or whatever it’s called in Knoxville. Next year, students will have to pay that same fee and then pay an additional $15 per game to get football tickets. As you might imagine, the students are not universally pleased with this new circumstance. And the student body president had to make his thoughts known on the matter:

“We’re simply baffled that there can be that large of an increase in such a short amount of time … It doesn’t make any sense whatsoever to make such a dramatic decision without consulting the people who are directly affected.”

OK, let us analyze these statements. First, the increase in the cost of the ticket is infinite because they were free. That would be the same increase if the price of the ticket were ten-cents or fifteen dollars. Every increase that could be made would be the same percentage increase. So, the magnitude of the increase is less of a big deal than the student leader would make it out to be.

Secondly, if you want to talk about something that doesn’t make any sense whatsoever, think about this proposition from the point of view of the athletic department or the football team. If they took this “proposal” to the students and presented it honestly, they would say:

Ever since there has been a football team at Tennessee, we’ve given students free tickets but now we need more money and so we are going to charge you $15 per ticket. What do you think about that?

Is there any doubt what kind of “feedback” the athletic department would get in those circumstances? So why should they go through the hassle of presenting it to the students who will complain about the “proposal” and then complain that they were not listened to after the ticket price increase is put in force? I will give the student body president credit for not threatening a boycott of football games in Knoxville; that would have been an empty threat at best.

Finally, Greg Cote had this comment in the Miami Herald several months ago regarding attendance at college football games:

“FIU [Florida International University] has completed its new 45,000-seat campus stadium. Based on what I’ve seen of Golden Panthers crowds, there will be about 8,000 fans who will rank No. 1 in the NCAA in elbow room.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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I am neither a psychiatrist nor a psychologist; some folks think I’m a psycho but that won’t help me here. I have no intention of judging whether Herschel Walker actually has Dissociative Identity Disorder or not; neither do I intend to make fun of person who has a mental illness – on the chance that his diagnosis is a correct one and that he really does harbor a dozen different personalities within himself. Herschel Walker was very good football player who definitely lived his life on a path that was orthogonal to most of the athletes of his day. Even if someone harbors a dislike for Walker, it would be hard to call him a ne’er-do-well or a sociopath. However, his autobiographical revelation of the existence of these multiple personalities in his body seems to balance the books on a previous event:

Back in 1989, the Cowboys traded Walker to the Vikings for five players and six draft picks – or maybe it was six players and five draft picks. Whatever. Well if Herschel had those multiple personalities, maybe the trade was pretty much an even-up deal…

Steve Rosenbloom of the Chicago Tribune had this item in his blog:

“Bears coach Lovie Smith said he supports Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama and that the senator from Illinois gave him some advice on the quarterback situation. Like what? Get one?”

Bears’ fans should not be overjoyed with a prominent politician offering advice to their team’s football coach. Richard Nixon was a football fan and supposedly, he designed a play for the Washington Redskins and gave it to then coach George Allen. The Skins ran the play in a pre-season game – surely as a friendly gesture to the President who had taken the time to communicate the idea to the team – and as I recall the play lost about 10 yards. I think you would draw a very long bow if you were to try to convince me that Lovie Smith had some unique and fertile insights into geopolitics, which may lead to immediate world peace. Similarly, you draw a long bow if you try to convince me that Senator Obama knows enough about pro football to advise a head coach … unless that advice is of the generic variety that Steve Rosenbloom has suggested here. If he told Lovie Smith that the Bears need to get a QB, then Senator Obama is on the money.

Maybe the Bears could get a QB from the Bucs. It’s not unusual for an NFL team to carry four QBs on their roster at this time of the year. If they don’t have four now, then they will often bring in a fourth QB for training camp just to provide some nominal competition for the back-up spots. However, the Tampa Bay Bucs seem to have gone to new dimensions here; I think they have five QBs on their roster and a sixth “on-hold”.

Jeff Garcia was the starter and the leader of the team last year; he’s still there. The Bucs traded to acquire Brian Griese – from the Bears – a couple of months ago; you have to think that he is in their plans as a back up since they gave up a draft pick to get him. Luke McCown and Bruce Gradkowski are both on the roster and have NFL experience – albeit that experience does not come with anything near a winning record in the NFL. Chris Simms is on the roster and is in rehab coming back from his splenectomy; he has NFL experience too. And of course, Jake Plummer is still retired and remains the “property” of the Bucs after the Bucs traded for him in years past. I guess Jon Gruden is committed to depth at the QB position…

The sports universe is 180 degrees out of phase at the moment. I for one would like to hear from Matt Walsh about what evidence he may have related to “Spygate” if only to bring closure to that entire issue. Matt Walsh is totally silent. I for one have grown hugely tired of hearing from Skip Bayless on ESPN. Skip Bayless continues his perorations.

We need to have the sports universe orbit near the event horizon of a huge black hole to put things right. Then Matt Walsh will have his say and then disappear into the night from whence he came. Simultaneously, Skip Bayless will enroll in Marcel Marceau University. That would set things right…

Assume for a moment that Brett Favre was serious and truthful when he said that he would have to think seriously about coming back to the Packers if Aaron Rodgers got hurt and couldn’t play this year. Now put yourself in the position of Rodgers’ agent with the responsibility to do what is best for your client’s career.

Question: Do you hire a team of bodyguards for Rodgers to protect him from rabid Cheeseheads who might consider injuring Rodgers?

Break up into groups of three and discuss. Then select a spokesperson from your group and report back to the rest of the class…

Golf on television drives me nuts. Not only do I have to watch a bunch of guys strolling leisurely down the fairways – be still my fluttering heart – I also have the distinct honor of watching golfers take 90 seconds or more to analyze and line-up a putt. I realize they need to do that, but it is not compelling television. Therefore, I have an idea for a televised golf event that might be more exciting. Don’t tell me that the game of golf is sacred and cannot be “altered” for television; that’s what half of the golf events in the autumn are all about.

Perhaps we could call it “Golf on Steroids” – but that might not be a good image for this new event. Maybe a better handle would be “Kentucky Derby Golf”. Here’s how it would work. Golfers would earn a score equal to the number of strokes per round PLUS the number of minutes it takes for them to complete the round. Lowest score wins. I don’t know if it would catch on, but I would certainly watch it once…

Finally, Greg Cote had this observation in the Miami Herald:

“KU rewarded championship coach Bill Self with a pay raise to keep him, after deciding this was not the time to be Self-less. (By the way, when Bill jots down a reminder of something he has to do, does he write, ‘Note to Self’?)”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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