The Sports Curmudgeon

For the record, I don’t care if the Dallas Mavericks trade for Jason Kidd or Captain Kidd. My real interest in the NBA is still months into the future. However, the trade that went down between Dallas and New Jersey ought to be an embarrassment of gargantuan proportion for the NBA. When the first iteration of this trade was going down, Jerry Stackhouse let it be known that the Nets would release him and then he would sit out the league mandatory 30 days and then rejoin the Mavericks. Since that was done with a wink and a nod, it shows that the entire concept of salary matching in a trade is a meaningless sham. Moreover, in the second iteration of the trade, the salary cap match was achieved by including Keith Van Horn in the trade. Van Horn has not played in a long time; he was Dallas’ property so they paid him to “unretire” and be part of this sham deal. If David Stern isn’t embarrassed by this, he ought to be.

By the way, might the Lakers include Wilt Chamberlain in some future deal? They could pay his estate for him to “unretire” and then the receiving team could cut him. Just because Wilt is dead should not preclude him from being part of an NBA salary matching exercise. Wilt would have the same intention of playing next week as Keith Van Horn does. And even in his extremely low metabolic state, he might be just as good…

Speaking of players who are not able to play in the NBA, did you ever wonder what happens to players that you heard about in college but who never seemed to make it in the pros? Some wind up in European, Australian or Israeli leagues and make comfortable livings and six-figure salaries if they are good enough to play at that level. For others they play in the “D-League” or the NBA Developmental League.

In the NBA, the minimum salary is $427,163 per year; in the D-league, the maximum salary is $26K. And while on travel, D-League players get a less than generous $30 as per diem.

In the NBA, teams visit cities such as NY, Chicago, LA and Dallas. In the D-League, players get to plumb the depths of culture in Boise, Fort Wayne, Sioux Falls and Bakersfield.

If you check out the rosters in the D-League you’ll find some names that ring a bell from the past such as Nick Fazekas, DerMarr Johnson, Jelani McCoy, Kevin Pittsnogle and Yuta Tabuse - - once proclaimed as “The Japanese Jordan”. You can find out if one of your old favorites is toiling in the D-League by checking here.

The NBA is dwindling in popularity despite David Stern’s happy-face remarks about the state of the league. Harris Interactive did a poll on America’s favorite sports. Obviously, the NFL was first. Then came baseball, college football, NASCAR and hockey in slots 2 through 5. The NBA was tied for sixth with college basketball and golf. That is not a typo; the NBA come in behind NASCAR and the NHL in terms of being the favorite sport of Americans. There was a time not all that long ago when the NBA finished at #3 in this same poll; not now…

I can understand why college basketball has declined in popularity; it is grossly overexposed on television. The cable networks and the networks run by local cable providers show multiple dozens of games every weekend and a bunch during the week. But you cannot make that argument to explain the NBA drop. There have to more fundamental problems there.

By the way, horseracing, bowling and men’s soccer tied for ninth place in this poll. Each was named as the favorite sport by 2% of the people participating in the poll. I am shocked that bowling and horse racing did so well in the poll. I am surprised that soccer did so poorly - - seeing as how David Beckham arrived here last year to revolutionize the way soccer is perceived in America.

Now that the Congressional hearings regarding baseball and steroids are over, I have a question for you. Assume you have a vote for the Baseball Hall of Fame and you MUST vote to save the life of a loved one. By the way, you may assume that Dr. Kevorkian is not available to give you that option either… Now, rank order these gentlemen in the order you would vote them into the Hall of Fame:

Barry Bonds
Roger Clemens
Mark McGwire
Pete Rose

Now that the Congressional hearings regarding baseball and steroids are over, I have a role-playing situation for you. Put yourself in a position where you are part of the Disney Corp. braintrust. You have this upcoming event in a few weeks called “ESPN The Weekend”; it is at Walt Disney World; you’ve been hyping it for about 4 months now; it’s a big deal. One of your star attractions at that event is Roger Clemens.

Your move, Brainiac…

Now that the Congressional hearings regarding baseball and steroids are over, I wonder if you had the same fantasy as I did when you watched them. I wanted someone to rush into the room armed to the teeth, to seize control of the room and to inject everyone (questioners and answerers) with sodium pentothal. Now that we have a consensus that waterboarding is illegal, that would probably be the only way to get at the truth in this matter. I actually laughed aloud when one of the Congressional inquisitors declared that someone in this room was lying. I wonder if it really took him until the morning of the hearing to figure that one out. Let me be very clear about something here; if there is any group of people on the planet who would be experts in recognizing a lie and a person telling a lie, it would have to be a Congressional Committee. As the old line goes, the best way to tell if a Congressthing is lying is to check to see if its lips are moving…

Now that the Congressional hearings regarding baseball and steroids are over, I need some help with something here. I was not a theology major in college and do not profess to be an expert in religious matters. However, I do notice that many athletes communicate with God and are quick to use their success as a way to give glory to God. I have no quarrel with that whatsoever, but can someone explain to me why God has never told any of those athletes that taking steroids and/or HGH may not be the perfect way to glorify Him?

Finally, now that the Congressional hearings regarding baseball and steroids are over, here are three comments and observations by Scott Ostler in the San Francisco Chronicle:

1. “What happened in that congressional committee hearing is that Roger Clemens mistruthified.”

2. “Clemens can produce a receipt for a round of golf he played nine years ago! Forget about the Rocket’s alleged drug use, perjury and nanny-tampering, I want to know more about his filing system.”

3. “If someone told me my name came up in a steroid investigation that was going to lead to a published report, and asked me if I’d like to come in and set the record straight, I’d say, ‘No thanks, I’ll wait a couple months and state my case before Congress.’ “

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…