The Sports Curmudgeon®

It is already upon us. We are now officially eyebrow deep into Super Bowl Stupid Season - - and there are still eleven days to go until the game. It is bad enough when some reporter from MTV asks a stupid question of the players on media day; it is bad enough when a magazine such as People tries to be “Super Bowl relevant” for a week without any clue as to what is relevant/irrelevant; but we are beyond all of that already. Here we are with an article in the Boston Herald informing us that both QBs in the Super Bowl have blonde girlfriends. This is in a Boston newspaper; Boston is one of the two epicenters of interest for this game; there are days upon days to go and a Boston newspaper has to dip that deep into the pot for a story angle? Oh my, we are indeed awash in the Super Bowl Stupid Season.

Let’s try to get some of the other highly predictable Super Bowl Stupid Season items out of the way quickly. What would be the over/under on the number of players from the 1972 Dolphins that will be interviewed in the next eleven days. Remember, those were 40-man rosters back then so I would put the number somewhere around 23. If the media starts on this angle too early, it might run out of steam well before game time and that would be bad because then we might have a feature article on how many 1972 Dolphins had blonde girlfriends as compared to the 2008 Patriots. That would make my teeth itch.

You know that there will be “game analysis” on TV and on sports radio to such an overwhelming extent that your ears will bleed if you hear any more. I will give you the basic keys to victory and defeat here for both or either team. Listen carefully to a few of the expert analyses and see if most of their verbiage doesn’t boil down to this:

Keys to Victory: No turnovers, avoid sacks/third-and-long situations, play good special teams, pressure opposing QB, be efficient in the red zone.

Keys to Defeat: Turn the ball over, fail to protect the QB/too many third-and-long situations, poor special teams play, no pressure on opposing QB, allow TDs when opponent is in red zone.

Please notice, you can substitute the name of any team into those keys to victory and defeat. You can save them and check out their utility in next year’s Super Bowl Stupid Season if you would like…

The Giants enter this game with a ten game road winning streak; that has never been done before in the history of the NFL. Please understand that I am not trying to minimize that accomplishment. I am trying to put it in perspective.

Six of those road wins were against Atlanta, Buffalo, Chicago, Detroit, Miami and Philly. Atlanta, Detroit and Miami were just plain bad football teams last year; Chicago wasn’t anything all that fearsome either; Buffalo and Philly were good but hardly great teams.

The other four road wins came against playoff teams – Washington a long time ago – and then the three playoff games against Tampa, Dallas and Green Bay.

The Giants are definitely the NFC team playing the best football at the moment and their prowess away from home is what fueled this run. I do think it is reasonable to point out however that the meat of the road winning streak is the Giants’ very recent run in the playoffs because the regular season road schedule for the Giants after the second week of the season was not all that big a deal.

There cannot be any doubt that the re-emergence of Randy Moss as an elite WR in the NFL was a major part of the Pats’ success this year. I think I have gotten this right. I recall that the Pats traded a 4th round draft pick last year to the Raiders to acquire Moss and I believe that the Raiders used that pick to draft a CB named John Bowie from the University of Cincinnati. If I am right that he is the guy the Raiders got in exchange for Randy Moss, this might be one of the more lopsided even-up trades in NFL history. According to the Raiders’ website, Bowie appeared in two games last year and made one tackle.

If you are going to trade an established player in the NFL – even if he has been a pain-in-the-posterior and you really want to move him out – for a draft pick, you really ought to have a college player targeted on the board that you believe will be a contributing member of your team. If not, you can just cut the putative pain-in-the-posterior and achieve your end of moving him out. That would save you time, energy, and stomach-acid. If indeed the Raiders made that move with the idea that this was the pick they needed to make in order to have some kind of impact on their team, then Al Davis needs to have a chat with the guy on the staff that does the personnel evaluation. Oops, it’s probably Al Davis who does that…

Bill Belichick has certainly received more than his fair share of negative publicity this year. There was that whole “Spygate” thing; the Pats “ran up the score” on hapless opponents; he was reticent almost to the point of being curt with the media in his mandatory press conferences; he didn’t shake hands with opposing coaches after games in a sincere way; he wore that ratty hooded sweatshirt on the sidelines. There are people who dislike him for his image in addition to those folks who dislike the Pats because they are 18-0 at this point. He even earned the moniker, “Darth Belichick” in some circles even though he never did show up at a press conference in a smoky glass visor and a helmet. So, that leads me to pose a question.

Will you root for the Pats and “Darth Belichick” to end the season 19-0 or will you root for the Giants and watch the creaky and cranky 1972 Dolphins and Don Shula do their silly celebration?

Just a snarky observation here for a moment. Don Shula is now a spokesperson for a diet/weight loss “system”. Given that fact, I hope the company provides him with a girdle for any of his TV appearances. When last spotted in the ESPN MNF booth, it looked as if he might have put back a few pounds. Or maybe he was wearing a girdle in those ads for the weight loss “system”…?

Now for a far more serious question. Assume for a moment that the Pats win the Super Bowl. Would that be the biggest victory in Super Bowl history - - or would that honor remain with the NY Jets win over the Baltimore Colts in Super Bowl III? Frankly, I still think the Jets’ win would be more significant because that game was a watershed event in the march toward the merger of the NFL and the AFL. Nevertheless, I would be happy to hear arguments from the other side of the table.

Finally, here is a note from Greg Cote in the Miami Herald:

“Dan Marino has come out with a new charity wine, with proceeds benefiting his foundation. The signature wines will be called ‘’Vintage 13.'’ Notably, when you have finished the wine, there’s no ring in the glass. (Ouch! Sorry.)”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…