The Sports Curmudgeon®

Happy Halloween, everyone.

In the spirit of this day of festivities, let me try to go with a “trick or treat” theme today. The NBA season began last night and so I want to go over what David Stern has accomplished during the off season. Let me be polite and say that David Stern is “not a treat”.

His single rogue official – Tim Donaghy – may or may not have been singular. We found out just last week that “half” of the NBA referees have violated the casino gambling restriction in their contracts. [They’ve been violating other rules too as you’ll learn below; so of course, David Stern has no idea if they’ve been violating the “consorting with known gamblers” rule too.] The referees weren’t punished; David Stern changed the rules. Note he never does that when players violate a rule; note he doesn’t want his referees changing the rules while they call the games; only David Stern can change the rules when it is convenient for him to do so.

The NBA is so short of respected and competent officials that David Stern reinstated Joey Crawford after Crawford’s unwarranted ejection of Tim Duncan from a game last year and their verbal confrontation. The simple fact is that there are precious few “three person crews” where coaches and players think all three are top-shelf officials.

David Stern figured out that the information Donaghy “sold” to gamblers was the identity of the officiating crews for specific games because the NBA actually spent time and energy trying to keep that a secret until game time. So, David Stern announced that referee crews will be announced the morning of all games – as if that were an idea of such brilliance that fans would take days to absorb it before they could grasp the implications of it. Nonsense! The NBA should not have been wasting time trying to protect that information for the past 20 years that David Stern has been pontificating to us.

The NBA has another rule for referees that has been routinely violated and once again there will be no punishment - - but the league will now enforce the rule more stringently. Henceforth, there will be no use of a cell phone by an official from the time the official arrives at the venue for the game until the game is officially over. That will assure the integrity of the game, won’t it?

The NBA will have a developmental program for referees to make them better at what they do. You might think that was something that they should have been doing all along but now the program will have “emphasis”. [Translation: The folks in charge of polishing the NBA’s image told the league they better spend some money on this kind of stuff to make it look as if they are trying to get better.] A retired official, Bernie Fryer will work with the crew chiefs on how to mentor young officials. Oh, that sounds so modern and so proactive. However, according to a report in the Dallas Morning News, Bernie Fryer was released by the NBA early in his career because he didn’t grade out as sufficiently competent on the floor. Is that the career path model for young NBA officials? Flunk out on the competency part of the job and then get involved with a mentor and get back in the league and stay out of any controversies? I’m sure that’s not exactly how the “image polishers” would portray it.

Is David Stern arrogant? Well, if arrogance were an Olympic event, every other hominid on the planet could compete for the silver medal.

Is David Stern stupid? Absolutely not!

Are there a whole lot of things he still does not know about his league and his officials – or maybe doesn’t want to know? You bet – sort of like the way Tim Donaghy bet for years without the NBA or David Stern knowing a thing about it.

In MLB, we can look forward to at least 8 or 10 weeks of “where Alex Rodriguez will play next year.” Scott Boras will milk this moment for enough air time to make it a mini-series if it were all strung together. And don’t think that Boras cannot get A-Rod more money; remember, he got $70M from the Red Sox last year for JD Drew and Drew isn’t nearly the player that A-Rod is. In fact, if you go by last season’s stats, A-Rod is about as productive as JD Drew and Stephen Drew put together. The Drew boys combined for 23 HRs, 124 RBIs and 144 runs scored last year in 1013 at-bats. Alex Rodriguez had 54 HRs, 156 RBIs and 143 runs scored in only 583 at-bats. If JD Drew is worth $70M, then A-Rod ought to be worth at least $150M. And with Scott Boras – aka “The Dollar Lama” – leading the way, don’t be surprised if the total number is north of that figure. Alex Rodriguez is a treat.

The last four World Series have all been tricks. In 2004, the Red Sox won in a sweep; in 2005, the White Sox won in five games; in 2006, the Cards won in a sweep; this year the Red Sox won in a sweep again. The promos for the World Series say there is only one October. Not to be picky; but in the previous four Octobers, there certainly hasn’t been a surfeit of drama.

Whether or not you believe Joe Torre is a great manager, he is a treat as a human being. There has been more coverage than needed about his departure from the Yankees but here are three quotes that will sum it all up for you:

“Torre and Steinbrenner balanced one another beautifully, the yin and yang o’ the Yanks. Torre has intelligence, warmth, compassion, heart, a good soul and baseball knowledge. Steinbrenner has money.”
Scott Ostler San Francisco Chronicle

“George Steinbrenner’s parting words to Torre: ‘You’ll always be a Yankee.’ Torre shouldn’t worry. I’m pretty sure that there are religious people who can remove that kind of curse.”
Scott Ostler San Francisco Chronicle

“A matter of class: After Joe Torre said he was insulted by the Yankees’ contract offer, Hank Steinbrenner huffed, ‘Where was Joe’s career in ‘95 when my dad hired him?’ The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Hank’s tacky comment begs the question: where was his career before Daddy George brought him into the family business?
Bob Molinaro Hampton Roads Virginian-Pilot

David Beckham turned out to be such a non-entity for the LA Galaxy that he might not even qualify as a trick on this day. After his signing in March and his much anticipated arrival in LA – delayed because of a sprained ankle that took more than a month to heal – and subsequent injuries, David Beckham managed to play all of 252 minutes in MLS games this season. In those 252 minutes, this guy who was touted to be the best player in MLS managed exactly zero shots on goal - - or in soccer parlance nil shots on goal. Recall now this hyperbolic flight of fancy by Alexi Lalas, Galaxy GM, prior to Beckham’s arrival:

“There will be interest in Beckham over here that exceeds everything else. The U.S. will never have dealt with an athlete who has had this kind of international impact. Tiger Woods has that international appeal, but with due respect to Woods and Michael Jordan, David Beckham is at an entirely different level.”

He sure is, Alexi. He’s on the same level as Jaromir Jagr, Swin Cash, Marco Andretti and Kent Desormeaux. With just a bit more PR effort, he can reach the level of Hulk Hogan.

Finally, it is always a treat to close with an item from Dwight Perry in the Seattle Times:

“The federal government has filed suit against Darryl Strawberry, saying the former slugger owes $481,656.86 in back taxes and interest from 1994.
“Defense lawyers, undaunted, are vowing Strawberry appeals forever.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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Well, I’m back from my Annual Autumnal Pilgrimage - - to Las Vegas and the sportsbooks out there. I feel rejuvenated and in better contact with my inner grumpiness now that I’m back. And since I got to watch the World Series games and a ton of football games (college and pro), I have some reactions…

People complain about Red Sox fans and their angst and all that stuff. Whatever. Let me tell you that many Colorado Rockies fans are merely annoying people; they haven’t risen to the level of interesting yet. A common theme among the commentaries of these fans on Saturday night and Sunday night every time the Rockies did something positive – admittedly not all that frequently – was “That’s Rockies baseball; that’s how you play the game.” Then when the Series ended in a sweep, they said that the Red Sox should not be all that proud because they just beat a team made up of “kids and players who weren’t good enough yet to earn ten million dollar salaries”. The Rockies were a great story this year; that team overcame humongous odds just to get into the playoffs. It’s fine to root for them but it is not fine to demean the achievements of the team that beats the Rockies by turning on the Rockies and saying that the victors didn’t beat anybody. Like I said, these folks haven’t yet become interesting.

With regard to football, this is a down year for USC. Against Oregon, every time they needed to make a play – on offense or defense – they generally didn’t make it. I don’t read minds so I don’t know if this is the case, but it looks as if the team is not nearly as disciplined or committed as other USC teams have been in recent years.

USC’s cross-town rival, UCLA, also laid a huge egg last weekend losing 27-7 to a Washington State team that is mediocre at best. Talk about a letdown after beating a ranked Cal team…

Michigan State absolutely dominated Iowa in the first half; both of the Michigan State lines dominated the line of scrimmage. Then in the second half, they could not block anyone on offense and the defensive line was routinely pushed back three yards on just about every running play. Did they serve up Quaaludes in the Spartans’ locker room at halftime?

Rutgers’ fans need to accept the fact that last year’s Miracle in New Brunswick is officially over, finished, done, kaput, closed … you get the point.

Lots of folks were upset when Notre Dame fired Ty Willingham a few years ago. After watching Washington give up 48 points at home – and more than 500 yards passing – to Arizona over the weekend, that is the kind of game that gets coaches fired. Arizona is a mediocre team; losing that game by giving up that many points in front of the home town fans and boosters is embarrassing to say the least.

Nebraska gave up over 200 yards rushing in the fourth quarter – to a single player no less – as they found a way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory against Texas last weekend. Bill Callahan needs to rent the movie The Green Mile to find out what it might take for someone to suck all the hate and all the ill will out of his program. At the end of the year, Callahan will be leaving town…

The Washington Redskins were de-pantsed on television over the weekend. The Redskins just stunk; that is actually a polite way to describe how they played. They could not run the ball or pass the ball effectively; they made up for that with a complete inability to stop the Pats from running or throwing the ball effectively. After the game Skins’ reserve LB, Randal Godfrey, said that the Pats had no class and he hoped he could meet them again this year. Yeah, right! What were the Pats supposed to do? Kick field goals when they were up 38-0 or 45-0? That would not have drawn any criticism, would it? Mike Ditka had it right on ESPN. Stop the belly-aching; if you want to get off the field, just stop somebody. Here’s the corollary to Ditka’s comment. If you can’t stop anybody at any time, then just admit you’re not nearly as good or get out of the game and stop cashing those paychecks under the false pretense that you are nearly that good.

The 49ers have seriously regressed on offense this year - - no matter who the starting QB is. Might it be that the loss of Norv Turner as the offensive coordinator is a bigger deal in SF than they would want to let on?

If the Giants/Dolphins game was meant to market the excellence of the regular season NFL product overseas, that was about as successful as “New Coke”. The game stunk; the weather stunk; all the hoopla turned out to be just that.

If the Dolphins played the Rams on a neutral field, I’d set the following lines:

The game would be “pick ‘em”.

The over/under for the attendance would be 15,000.

[For perspective, that’s about what MLS draws for a game…]

The Jets/Bills game was close all the way. Nonetheless, it was painful to watch. Imagine watching someone getting oral surgery; that’s what that game looked like. The Titans/Raiders game was similar to the Jets/Bills game except the weather was better.

For the record, the Bengals’ defense is actually as bad as advertised… If you haven’t seen them play recently, you might want to tune in for a series or two if they are televised in your area soon just to marvel at how a defensive coach like Marvin Lewis could put together an agglomeration of guys who play defense so ineffectively.

The Bears offense scored all of 7 points on the Lions defense last weekend and QB, Brian Griese, threw three more INTs. Can someone explain to me just what it is in that showing that is beyond the capability of Rex Grossman? Bears’ fans and Chicago writers clamored for Lovie Smith to bench Grossman and go with Griese. Now they want Kyle Orton. Here’s the problem:

No one on the Bears’ roster is a top shelf NFL QB. Any one of them can have a good game once in a while but the weighted average of their performances will be sub-standard at best. Deal with it…

Watching the Colts dismantle the Panthers in the second half was like watching a cat “play with” a mouse before devouring it.

The Eagles scored two TDs in the red zone last weekend. That’s news all by itself. Oh, and Vikings Coach Brad Childress challenged two calls in the first half that were so clearly called correctly on the field that you have to wonder what kind of TV his coaches in the booth were watching. I didn’t know they still made those old round screen black and white sets…

One final note about Las Vegas. They still have shows featuring Celine Dion, Carrot Top and Blue Man Group. My personal form of Hell would be having to see those three acts over and over and over again.

Finally, Scott Ostler had this comment recently in the San Francisco Chronicle regarding the Patriots and “Spygate”:

“It should have been obvious long ago that the Patriots were cheating.

What’s more suspicious than a video-cam guy on an NFL sideline with his camera pointed at something other than cleavage?”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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Well, Game One of the World Series was certainly a nail-biter, wasn’t it? The Rockies were certainly well rested; they also looked to be “well rusted”. I believe the Red Sox have scored 43 runs in their last four games. With that kind of offensive output, it doesn’t matter if they have an ace on the mound or an ass.

FOX did not disappoint those fans who really wanted to see dugout close-ups or images of fans “representing” the home team. If every viewer were charged two cents for each of those camera shots, the government could retire a healthy part of the national debt.

One other note about the telecast… Tim McCarver attracts criticism – lots of it and lots of venomous criticism too – about his loquaciousness and his focus on minutiae within the game. Sure, he does all that and it can be annoying at times; I’ve sometimes thought he was filibustering the telecast. But think about John Madden for a moment and what Madden does. He may not chatter and talk as much as McCarver, but John Madden focuses on LOTS of minor stuff and often bludgeons it to death during a telecast. Yet, Madden is generally considered to be a top-shelf analyst and an avuncular figure; McCarver usually draws the same loveable attention as a case of poison ivy. Too bad for Tim, I guess…

Will someone please explain to me the logic behind putting a Super Bowl game in London? Reportedly, that is a topic under consideration by the NFL and its Commish. Now, I admit that my name has never come before the Nobel Committee for any reason and that my experience at running a $10B business is nil, but think about it this way. Why has there not been a clamor for the English to stage the Finals of the FA Cup in New York City? Why aren’t World Championship Tests for Cricket played in Chicago? The reasons are that soccer and cricket are games of great interest abroad and minimal interest here; the same goes for NFL football. The Super Bowl is a huge event here; it is a novelty overseas.

I can see only one good economic reason for the NFL to put a game in London – or Tokyo or Kuala Lumpur or Melbourne some year in the near future. Putting the game there will discourage ordinary folks who happen to be real football fans from attending the game because the cost and the logistics of such a trip may be beyond their means. Did someone ask why that is a good idea? Well, that would allow the NFL to allocate ALL of the tickets for the Super Bowl to corporate partners, fat cats and FOTCs [Friends Of The Commish]. At the moment, only about 75% of the tickets are targeted that way; there may actually be 10,000 real football fans at the game who didn’t arrive in a chauffeured Bentley or in a limo that picked them up at the airport when they flew in on their leased executive jet. The NFL might really want to get those plebeians out of the way of their corporate partners… Those plebeians might have cooties, you know.

There may be a changing of the guard in the NFL. The Cincinnati Bengals have not been in the headlines regarding player arrests all that much this year. I haven’t had the opportunity in a while to point out that the Bengals’ solid orange jerseys look ominously like prison overalls. The Bengals are on good behavior at the moment. But quietly – and without a lot of fanfare – the Denver Broncos may be in position to take over for the Bengals here. Maybe it goes back to the day when the Broncos wasted a first day draft pick on Maurice Clarett and allowed his brand of character and social responsibility to enter their organization? Whatever. Here are a couple of recent Broncos’ PR nightmares:

They trade for Travis Henry who must have had previous run-ins with the NFL substance abuse policy because now that he has a positive urine test for something-or-other he faces a 1-year suspension. That only happens with the fourth transgression of that policy.

Oh, by the way, Henry also wound up in court for being a “deadbeat dad” in terms of some child support payments leading to the revelation that he fathered nine children with nine different women in four different states. This man knows “family values” and is deeply involved in “family matters”.

Then, Brandon Marshall celebrates a last second win over the Steelers on MNF such that he gets arrested for DUI the morning after the game.

If you’ve read any of these rants in the past, you know that I believe the Vikes’ Tarvaris Jackson is a looong way from being an effective NFL QB. In the event that the Vikings’ braintrust reaches a similar conclusion later this year, there is an interesting question for them to ponder. There are four college QBs who could be eligible for the draft this year and who seem to have the makings of a better-than average NFL QB. In alphabetical order they are Colt Brennan (Hawaii), Brian Brohm (Louisville), Matt Ryan (BC) and Andre Woodson (Kentucky). So here’s the question:

Will the Vikes finish poorly enough to be sure to have a shot at one of these guys in the draft next spring without having to trade up for one of them thereby losing other draft picks?

Speaking of NFL QBs, you have to be impressed with what Jeff Garcia has done so far this season. Given the injury situation to the RB position in Tampa, their running game wouldn’t scare an NFL Europe defense - - if there were still an NFL Europe. Yet the Bucs have a winning record because Garcia is playing so efficiently. In seven games so far, he has yet to throw an INT and it’s not because he isn’t throwing the ball; in the last two games he’s attempted 76 passes.

You have to have seen the commercial where Peyton Manning is in a hotel corridor trying to pass and he’s opening various doors to find a way to avoid an onrushing defensive lineman. [Is that Jason Taylor?]. The ad is for a phone company. So, I need your help here.

What is all of that supposed to symbolize – particularly the zombie-like kid in the background?

How is this supposed to make me think positively about the capabilities and the reliability of whatever phone company paid for this?

If Peyton Manning actually saw Marvin Harrison drowning, wouldn’t he stop what he was doing to try to rescue him?

The Falcons cut Grady Jackson this week. Jackson and the team were involved in some legal action earlier this year that seemed to be settled before the season began but now it may find its way back into the headlines. Part of that action alleged that the Falcons spread word around the league about Jackson’s athletic condition and other matters in an effort to keep the price tag on his free agency down. Maybe they did that; I don’t know; they never called me. But I do have to say that it would not take me a whole lot of film study to conclude that Grady Jackson was an extremely heavy human being. This man probably qualifies for group health insurance all by himself.

Finally, since the Mets aren’t in the World Series thanks to their dismal performance in September, here’s a line from David Letterman:

“It’s not all bad news for the Mets. After they rolled over and played dead, Leona Helmsley left them $12M.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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The World Series starts tonight. The Colorado Rockies have been on their longest break since they reported to Spring Training. If the Series goes to seven games – without having one snowed out -, the last one will be on November 1st. That means that on the day after the World Series when one city is exulting in victory, fans in the other MLB towns can take solace in the fact that there are only 115 days until pitchers and catchers report…

I read that FOX will use 24 cameras and more than 75 microphones to cover the World Series. Let me break that down for you based on the way FOX covered the ALCS.

One camera will give you the “centerfield shot” of the pitcher/catcher/hitter.

One camera will give you facial close-ups of right handed hitters as they are out of the batter’s box.

One camera will give you facial close-ups of left handed hitters as they are out of the batter’s box.

One camera behind home plate at ground level will give you a great look at the umpire’s derriere.

The other twenty cameras will focus on crowd shots and dugout shots.

Since I alluded above to the impending baseball off-season and the hot-stove league, I want to beg the baseball poets to ignore the “Will Roger Clemens Retire?” story this winter. Even if there are some folks outside the Clemens nuclear family who still find that story interesting, it’s not nearly the big deal it was four or five years ago. Look at what happened this year:

Clemens was 6-6. Most people call that “ho-hum”…

Clemens ERA was 4.18. Most people call that “ho-hum”…

Clemens pitched all of 10 innings down the stretch in September. “Ho-hum”…

For this the Yankees paid the season-long equivalent of about $28M. The story here wasn’t whether or not he’d come back; the story really was, “How else could the Yankees have spent $28M so uselessly?”

Now that Tom Osbourne is temporarily on board at Nebraska to set the football program on a winning course again, I think it’s fair to say that every real estate agent in Lincoln is rehearsing his/her pitch to Bill Callahan’s family as to why that agent should be the one to list their house. And the new Athletic Director that gets hired there will surely be given Osbourne’s short tutorial on how to schedule Utah State, a Division 1-AA cupcake and Florida International each and every season. It’s worked for Osbourne and Nebraska in the past…

For the last three weekends, the team ranked #2 in the polls has lost (USC, then Cal, then South Florida). This week, second-ranked Boston College is a three-point underdog to Virginia Tech. Maybe the oddsmakers have spotted a trend here?

Probably, the best college game this weekend is #9 USC at #5 Oregon. The winner stays in the BCS mix; the loser has a deep hole to crawl out from.

The worst game of the weekend could be Rice (1-6) at Marshall (0-7). Unless you had a blood relative playing in this game, would you travel from Texas to West Virginia to see this stinker?

Other bad games this weekend are:

La Tech at Utah State – bad enough to make your hair hurt.

Akron at Buffalo – at least it isn’t a long trip for the Zips.

UCF at So. Mississippi – nationally televised on Sunday night against the World Series. Maybe someone will actually tune in?

Minnesota lost to North Dakota State last week to achieve a 1-7 record this season under new coach Tim Brewster. When Brewster arrived he complained about this game saying he wanted to play non-conference opponents that gave him some kind of advantage when it came to recruiting. He referred to North Dakota State as “the little guys in green”. Maybe North Dakota State is the team that is ready to “upgrade” its schedule? This week, Minnesota gets Michigan – the team that is 6-2 after losing its first two games and causing the city of Ann Arbor to raise angst to an art form.

In the NFL, the AFC has been dominant for the last five years or so. The recent match-up between the Pats and the Cowboys didn’t do much to show that the NFC is ready to assert its claim to top dog status. Dallas is one of the NFC’s top teams and they just got smoked by the Pats. Maybe the AFC Championship Game will be the “de facto Super Bowl” again this year?

By the way, this is only the third time since the merger of the AFL and the NFL when two teams with records of 5-0 or better have met during a season. The Cowboys and Pats put 75 points on the board; in the previous two meetings, defense ruled the day:

Rams at Vikings (1973): Final score Minnesota 10 LA 9

Jets at Pats (2004): Final score New England 13 New York 7.

What has happened to home-field advantage in the NFL? Twenty-six teams have lost home games this season. Obviously, New England and Indy are undefeated at home because they haven’t lost anywhere this year. If you can name the other four teams that have won all their home games so far this year without peeking, you are better than I… [Answer below]

The best NFL game this weekend is probably the Colts at the Panthers. It’s the only game where both teams lead their divisions at the moment. The problem is that Carolina will probably work to keep the clock running to keep the Colts’ offense off the field. Vinny Testaverde had an impressive debut with the Panthers two weeks ago and the team has had a bye week to rest and recuperate; but if the total for this game goes “into the fifties”, the Colts have a significant advantage.

By the way, the success of 43-year old Vinny Testaverde two weeks ago may have implications for the NFL. Everyone recognizes that the NFL is a “copycat league”; when something works, other teams glom onto it and try to emulate it. So, could this mean that Jeff George, Richard Todd and Jim McMahon might get invitations to training camps next season as emergency QBs?

The other four NFL teams who are undefeated at home so far are:

Pittsburgh
Baltimore
Tampa Bay
Detroit.

Finally, here’s Scott Ostler in the San Francisco Chronicle on a recent QB dilemma for the Niners:

“Much hand-wringing all week over the possibility that the 49ers would send Alex Smith and his separated shoulder out there against the pass-rush-crazy New York Giants. That bullet is dodged, but can we spare a prayer for Trent Dilfer? Starting Dilfer against the Giants is like shoving an elk onto the freeway. Not many pretty things can happen.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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Lots of stuff to catch up on so let me get right to it… Leo Mazzone was fired as the pitching coach for the Baltimore Orioles. Mazzone had previously earned a cult-like adoration as a pitching genius when he was with the Braves for something close to an eternity. Obviously, this man knows something about pitching; but just as obviously, his staff will have more success when it contains Greg Maddux, John Smoltz and Tom Glavine year after year after year. The only place where coaches can turn significantly under-talented teams into heroic winners is in the movies - - cf The Bad News Bears.

The Paul Byrd/HGH business is a difficult one. On one hand, it does appear that Byrd has/had a medical condition related to his pituitary gland for which HGH is a known and proper medical treatment. On the other hand, when he got his prescription for HGH, he took it to some Internet vendor - - who is also under investigation for various and sundry legal transgressions related to selling drugs/meds to people who should not have them. I don’t know about you, but when my doctor gives me a prescription for something, I send it off to the prescription service that is associated with my health insurance company and they mail me back the pills to take. If I need it quicker than that – say if it is a pain medication – then I go to the local pharmacy and get it filled there. More info is needed on this matter.

One thing is clear however. If Paul Byrd has/had such a condition and a reputable doctor did prescribe HGH for treatment, then MLB really has no option other than to extend a “therapeutic exception” in that case. No player should be asked to put his health at risk just to stay “legal” in the baseball sense of the word.

Chris Chambers was a Miami Dolphin; that team is 0-7 stands a better chance to go 0-16 than it does to make the playoffs this year. Just before the trading deadline, Chambers is traded to the San Diego Chargers; that team is 3-3 at the moment but looks to be in good position to make the AFC playoffs. So, who says there aren’t Fairy Godmothers out there?

By the way, those Miami Dolphins who don’t need Chris Chambers any more also didn’t need Wes Welker during the last off-season and Welker is now in New England. Compare Chambers and Welker with the receiving corps that the Dolphins trot out on the field routinely. Then ask the Dolphins’ braintrust a simple question:

How’s that working out for you?

Why do I think that the Chargers at 3-3 are in a good position to make the playoffs? Just look at the AFC West standings. KC leads at the moment at 4-3 but the Chiefs have been outscored by their opponents. Nine AFC teams that have had a bye this year – the Chiefs have not – have scored more points than the Chiefs. Elsewhere in the Division, Denver is also 3-3 but has been outscored by 58 points cumulatively this year; and then, there are the Raiders…

I have managed to see the last three games that the Philadelphia Eagles have played. One was that nationally televised debacle against the Giants; the other two games happened to be shown in the local market I was in on the last two Sundays. I know I picked the Eagles to make the playoffs in my pre-season analysis, but I’d like to assume the privilege granted to US Senators and Congressthings to revise and extend my remarks. The Eagles are not a good football team at the moment. Here’s why:

Donovan McNabb is not nearly recovered from his knee injury last season. You can see that the instant he tries to run with the ball.

McNabb’s passing is very erratic this year and probably that is related to his knee rehabilitation status too.

The Eagles have only one running back who is worth more than the league minimum salary.

The defense is good but not dominating.

The injury to Brian Dawkins has been devastating.

After the Bills beat the Ravens last weekend, one of the talking heads said that Trent Edwards had solidified his hold on the starting QB job in Buffalo over JP Losman. I understand that the bottom line in the NFL is wins and losses, but Edwards stat line for the game was meager at best. He was 11-21 for 153 yards with 1 INT and zero TDs.

Did you happen to notice in last night’s Colts/Jags game on MNF that the stadium in Jax still has some upper deck sections covered with black tarps? Even a winning record can’t seem to stir the interest of fans in Jacksonville sufficiently to sell out the stadium the way it was built. The Jags need to pray that David Garrard is not hurt seriously because if Quinn Gray has to be their QB for the rest of the season the Jags will be out of contention by December 1st and home attendance might begin to look like a WNBA game.

The Saints and Falcons met in a game where the cumulative records going into the game were 2-9. The game lived up to its advanced billing…

If you are an aficionado of the punting game, you had to love the Raiders/Chiefs game last weekend. There were 17 punts in the game – and the Raiders gave up the ball on downs one time meaning there could have been 18. Those 17 punts produced a total of 79 yards of punt returns or an average of 4.6 yards. How did those fans stand all that excitement?

Bad as the Miami Dolphins are, the St. Louis Rams could be worse. No, they don’t play each other later this year; if they did the ACLU might be in court today asserting that such a game would violate the Constitution’s ban on cruel and unusual punishments for NFL fans. But the Dolphins and Rams will both share a bye week in early November. Maybe the NFL can market that as “Product Improvement Weekend”?

Do you think that David Boston’s NFL career may have come to the end of the line just yet? Boston has run afoul of league rules/policies in the past; he has been a problematic teammate in the past; he had been trying to make the Bucs when he got himself arrested for DUI and subsequently tested positive for GHB. Now, he’s been arrested on a domestic violence rap where he allegedly pulled the phone cord from the wall while his wife was calling 911. Current charges include domestic battery, false imprisonment, resisting a police officer and “culpable negligence” – which sounds like a charge that could be added on to just about every arrest that’s made.

Finally, an observation from Greg Cote in the Miami Herald:

“Just saw a guy wearing a sandwich board that read

‘Jesus Saves!
Why Can’t Armando Benitez?’ “

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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I see where the NBA is playing exhibition games in China and that the league is thrilled by this step toward global presence. Lots of upbeat statements emanate from the league’s publicity mill. Meanwhile, here at home, the NBA Commissioner remains in retreat.

David Stern was humbled by the Tim Donaghy mess; please notice that the NBA has taken no major actions to try to prevent any such recurrence of scandal. The sporting public has not been privileged to be lectured at by David Stern since l’affaire Donaghy broke and so it is in that context that David Stern has not said or done much of anything regarding the Isiah Thomas/James Dolan/Madison Square Garden mess. A jury said that Thomas/Dolan et. al. were guilty of sexual harassment and creating a hostile working environment. David Stern – the same guy who is involved in decisions as to the material from which basketballs are made and mandates as to the type of attire that is acceptable for players to be seen wearing – has done nothing; the Viscount of Verisimilitude has gone into hibernation. So just to be sure you don’t forget the scope of David Stern’s actions, he’s the guy who:

Took years to change the abominably stupid “illegal defense rule”.

Altered the outcome of various playoff series with suspensions that need not have been imposed.

Pretended – and continues to pretend – that declining TV ratings to the point of irrelevance do not matter to the league.

Professed complete faith in a security staff and system that had no clue that one of its referees was involved with gamblers for about five years.

Cannot figure out how to make the NBA look like the “good guy” after one of its teams loses out on a sexual harassment verdict.

Scott Ostler had an interesting item related to Isiah Thomas’ trial in one of his recent columns in the San Francisco Chronicle:

“Isiah Thomas said that his” head never left basketball” during the sexual harassment trial. Reader Steve Dunn notes, ‘Knick fans know Isiah’s head leaves basketball only when he’s coaching.’ “

Stay tuned for sexual harassment type items coming from the NBA. A young woman has just charged Jason Kidd with groping her in a “trendy Manhattan nightspot” repeatedly until she was forced to leave the club. The police are investigating. Kidd says there’s nothing to the woman’s allegations. Time will tell …

Since I’m on an NBA track here, let me give you four NBA players who are salary cap albatrosses around the necks of their teams. Feel free to add to this list and/or to suggest who the worst albatross on this list is.

Stephon Marbury (Knicks): Last year, the self-proclaimed “Starbury” shot 41%. He makes $17M a year for doing that and for providing leadership. This is the “leader” who thinks Michael Vick is “misunderstood” and involved in nothing particularly bad. He was also one of the people cited as being part of the “hostile work environment” in the recent sexual harassment case involving the Knicks.

Theo Ratliff (Timberwolves): It has been a long time since Ratliff has been able to stay healthy for a season; he’s going on 35 and was never much of an offensive threat to begin with. He makes $12M a year. If the Boston Celtics make it to the NBA Finals – or win it all – then Ratliff may be the Celtics’ MVP for the year because it was that $12M salary that allowed the Celtics to put together the package they did to get Kevin Garnett.

Kenyon Martin (Nuggets): At $13M a year, he’s damaged goods with continuing knee “problems” and the same kinds of “attitude problems” that have followed him around for a while.

Ben Wallace (Bulls): OK, maybe it’s too soon to come down on him like this but less than 7 points a game and 10 rebounds a game seems pretty paltry to me for a guy making $15M a year. I’ll admit he might be the guy to come off this list, but after his inaugural year in Chicago, I’d say he’s overpaid at the moment.

You could always put Kwame Brown in any list of overpaid NBA players no matter what his salary might be but at the moment he is actually a potentially valuable commodity to the Lakers - - albeit not an “on the court asset”. Kwame Brown’s contract is up at the end of this season so he is attractive as trade bait to a team looking to free up cap space for next year. Yes, that’s the reality of the great league over which David Stern has presided for a couple of decades…

We have not made it to Halloween yet and a coach in the NHL has already been fired. The Atlanta Thrashers started the season at 0-6 and they just fired Coach Bob Hartley. The GM has taken over coaching in an interim capacity and demonstrated his mastery of understatement with this comment:

“We felt after six games the direction we were going was not the direction we wanted to go.”

In case you have not been paying attention to the New England Patriots this year, check out three of their stats and what they project to over a 16 game schedule:

They’ve scored 230 points so far; that projects to 614 points for the season. The NFL record for most points scored in a season is 556 (Vikes in 1998). At this rate, the Pats will break that record with a game still to play.

Tom Brady has thrown 21 TDs in 6 games; that projects to 56 TDs for the season. Peyton Manning holds that record with 49 TD passes in a season. Brady would pass that record after 14 games.

The Pats have gained 2587 yards on offense this year; that projects to 6900 yards for the season. The “Greatest Show on Turf” holds the NFL record here at 7,075 yards. The Pats are within shouting distance there.

Finally, here’s another comment from Scott Ostler in the San Francisco Chronicle regarding NBA matters:

“Milwaukee Bucks rookie Yi Jianlian issues a no-comment when asked about his age. His age! Guess there’s no point in asking him his opinion of China’s ruthless suppression of free speech and political dissent.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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There certainly were some unusual football happenings over the last weekend to include losses by LSU and Cal in college football and the announcement that South Florida is now the #2 team in the BCS rankings. Tomorrow night, South Florida plays Rutgers on national TV; Rutgers was last year’s Cinderella team in college football. Three years ago, if anyone had told you that a South Florida/Rutgers game on national TV would have potential major impact on the BCS Championship Game, you would quietly have taken steps to have that person restrained and sedated before he could hurt himself. But it’s gonna happen later this week…

The Boise State/Nevada game put 136 points on the scoreboard. There will likely be college basketball games this season that fall short of that total.

I have a problem with the ranking of Ohio State as the #1 team in the first BCS poll. In the week that they made their big move to the top spot, they took on the mighty team from Kent State. That’s a game that should not have been scheduled in the first place. It would have sent a real message to football coaches and ADs everywhere if Ohio State had not moved up at all this week.

Navy is now 4-2 on the season and stands an excellent chance to go to a bowl game this year. They’ve won 2 games in OT and another by a field goal, but they look to have an inside track to six wins - - and that’s the magic number to be bowl eligible. Still on their schedule are Wake Forest, Notre Dame, Delaware, North Texas, Northern Illinois and Army. For a team that leads the nation in rushing offense, there ought to be two wins in that mix somewhere…

Recently, I asked rhetorically if Wisconsin might be the worst 5-1 team in the history of NCAA football. Well after the Badgers were absolutely dismantled by a less than awesome Penn State team by 31 points, you should be severely tempted to answer that question in the affirmative.

In the wake of a less than spectacular season in Lincoln Nebraska, the University of Nebraska did something unusual. They didn’t fire their coach; they fired their athletic director - - who happens to be the guy who hired the current football coach. Two weeks ago, Nebraska lost to Missouri by 5 TDs; last weekend, they lost to Oklahoma State by 31 points. You’d really have to be a cockeyed optimist to see those results as the mark of an “improving team”. Oh, in the history of the Nebraska football program, they had never allowed opponents to score 40 or more points four times in a season. Well, they’ve done that this year and they have a bunch more games to play. I’d say that Bill Callahan needs to win every game from here to December to have an even-money shot at coming back next year.

In NFL action last weekend, the Panthers beat the Cardinals. That may not be particularly newsworthy except that the Panthers’ QB was Vinny Testaverde because the top two QBs were injured and could not play and the Cards’ QB was Tim Rattay because their top two QBs were injured and could not play. I wonder how many fantasy owners rushed to acquire Testaverde when he was signed last Wednesday. I wonder how many fantasy owners will be scrambling to pick up Tim Rattay this week with visions of Earl Morral dancing in their heads.

The Baltimore Ravens beat the St. Louis Rams handily last weekend. But the Ravens offense has to be a point of great concern to the coaching staff. The Ravens intercepted Gus Frerotte five times and recovered a fumble in that game; those six turnovers plus the normal offensive possessions yielded a total of 22 points. That’s pathetic.

What is equally pathetic is the showing of the Eagles in their win over the Jets. The Eagles had 413 yards of offense and managed to score all of 16 points. And no one can blame the officials for stifling the offenses here; the Eagles had two penalties assessed during the game for all of 14 yards; the Jets were not flagged all game long.

LaDanian Tomlinson seems to love to play against the Raiders. On Sunday, he carried 24 times for 198 yards; that’s an average of 8.25 yards per carry for those of you who are math-phobic. For his career, Tomlinson has played 13 games against the Raiders and has a total of 21 TDs in those games. No truth to the rumor that Al Davis is contemplating filing suit against Tomlinson for damaging the value of the Raiders’ franchise…

The Bears have a dominating defense – or so we thought as the season began. The Vikings have a dominating defense – and they damned well need one because their offense is so meek. So, when these teams got together last weekend the final score was 34-31 and there were 902 yards of combined offense produced on the field. How’d that happen?

In the world of golf, Michele Wie’s agent has resigned from that job. He’s the second person to bail out on her in less than a year. Wie played in 8 LPGA events this year and only made the cut twice in the ladies events; in fact she only had two rounds under par in all of those 8 events. Of course, she also made celebrity appearances in a few men’s events this year and didn’t do squadoosh in any of them either. What we have here is a huge squandering of talent…

Finally, here is an item from syndicated columnist Norman Chad:

“Q: After Rebekkah Brunson of the Sacramento Monarchs was arrested on DUI charges, she apologized to her fans. Do you think she did this individually? (Joe McCann; Pittsburgh)

“A: Pay this fella on the sly, Shirley – don’t want to get WNBA types stirred up.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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Andrea Kramer reported on NBC that the Bears traded RB, Thomas Jones, to the Jets last winter because Jones and Cedric Benson could not share a locker-room. That would certainly explain why the Bears dealt away a productive running back for a second round pick in the draft but it might beg the question as to why they chose to trade away Thomas Jones and not Cedric Benson. I liked Benson in college and thought he’d be a stud as a RB in the NFL but that has not happened. In five games this year, Benson is averaging exactly 3 yards per carry and projects to a total of 970 yards for the season. That is nothing special.

Perhaps the Bears’ brain trust thought that if Benson didn’t have to share the carries with Jones, Benson would emerge as a top-shelf running back. That’s a far more polite reading of the situation than one might come to given that Benson was a high first round pick by that self-same brain trust and Jones was not. Whatever. In each of the Bears’ three losses this year, Benson has been held under 50 yards rushing and he lost a fumble in each game. It sure looks as if he lacks the speed to get to the corner and turn it against NFL defenses and that takes away an entire dimension of the rushing offense.

Yes, I’ve seen some of the Bears’ games and yes, I know that their offensive lines aren’t exactly opening gaping holes for anyone to run through. Nevertheless, if the Bears really did trade Thomas Jones to preserve harmony in the locker-room, then that is an indictment of the coaching staff’s ability to keep the team harmonious.

I think I read this in the Charlotte Observer but I’m not certain. Now that Jake Delhomme is going to need season-ending surgery on his right elbow, there are rumblings that the Panthers might want to offer the Raiders a draft pick in exchange for QB, Andrew Walter. I’m not sure the Panthers can put together an advantageous deal for themselves here. There aren’t any eleventh round draft picks in the NFL draft anymore…

In their hugely embarrassing loss to the Giants a week ago, the Eagles did something that is actually very difficult to do. They came up with a negative number for their offensive output. Do the math:

The Eagles gained 190 yards on offense against the Giants.

The Eagles gave up 62 yards on 12 sacks. That brings the net yardage down to 128 yards.

The Eagles were penalized 15 times for a total of 132 yards. That makes their net yardage for the night “minus 4 yards”.

The Eagles had a bye-week to get things right – and hopefully to give Winston Justice a crash course in pass blocking at the NFL level. The Eagles come back from their bye to play the other NY team – the Jets – this weekend and there is a trend to consider here. The Eagles have never lost a game coming off a bye week since Andy Reid showed up as the coach. We’ll see if that situation can continue to obtain…

The St. Louis Rams continue to stink. Going into last weekend’s game with the Arizona Cardinals, the Rams offense was 29th in the league and the defense was 24th. Against the Cards, the Rams finally put some points on the board scoring 31; but that defense demonstrated that no lead is safe when it gave the Cardinals 34 points and almost 400 yards of offense. The Rams may still have Tory Holt and Isaac Bruce and Mark Bulger – when he recovers from his rib injuries – but this is no longer the “Greatest Show on Turf”. And the Rams’ defense would need the full reincarnation of the Greatest Show on Turf to look competent.

The Rams visit the Ravens this week. That should be an interesting match-up. The Ravens defense should hold the Rams offense in check. However, the interesting part of the game will come when the Ravens have the ball. Can the Ravens’ offense exploit this demonstrably sub-standard defense or is the Ravens’ offense capable of stopping itself no matter who the opponent might be…?

The Dolphins are a bad team and will probably be picking in the top three next spring’s draft. Given Trent Green’s second major concussion in two years, quarterback has to be an “area of need” for this team. Last year, they invested a second round pick in John Beck. It would seem to me that the Dolphins ought to have him on the field for some significant time this season to find out if he can actually play. If so, they can look to some other position for that top pick; if not then they really do need to select their QB of the future. If you conclude from these remarks that I do not consider Cleo Lane as the QB of the future, you are absolutely correct.

I’ve read/heard from several national commentators that Titans’ DT, Albert Haynesworth, has come into his own as a force majure on the defensive line. I’ve caught two Titans’ games and, indeed, Haynesworth is playing very well. Maybe he has finally caught on regarding what it means to be a dominant top-shelf defensive lineman in the NFL. If that is the case, then he will be someone who has to be reckoned with for quite a while to come. On the other hand, this is Haynesworth’s contract year; the contract he signed as a rookie out of Tennessee runs out at the end of this season and he will be a free agent hoping to ring the cash register. Once he gets his fat signing bonus and settles down to an off-season of hearing how he is the missing piece to the puzzle for at least a half-dozen NFL teams, will he develop “Fat Wallet Syndrome” and revert to his good-but-not-great status that he showed for the past several seasons? We shall see…

I also see where David Beckham has resumed practice with the LA Galaxy and that he plans to play again this year. The celebrity glut in Los Angeles may have gotten lots of folks out there to the point where they forgot who David Beckham was and why he was interesting in the first place. So there is a potential motivator for him to get out on the pitch for at least a little while before the season comes to a close – which it will do in the next ten days or so before the playoffs commence. In addition, the Galaxy has gone on a four game win streak without Beckham and has moved into striking distance of actually making the playoffs. That would be good for MLS – if he can play in the playoffs and showcase his game around the country a bit more – and it would be good for his celebrity status. Hence …

I wonder if the Las Vegas oddsmakers will set an over/under on Beckham’s next injury…

Finally, when Donald Trump tells you that he can teach you his keys to success in the real estate world, does that mean he will teach you how to have a father who is already successful in the real estate business who can hire you and let you start your career with a multi-million dollar cushion? Just asking…

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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Being here in the middle of Big Ten Country at the moment, I’ve been able to overhear several conversations at restaurants and in supermarkets about the unavailability of the Big Ten Network on the Comcast cable system here. The common thread in those conversations is that Comcast is the villain and they are preventing people from watching whatever Big Ten football game they happen to want to see on any given weekend. Naturally, I see this from a different perspective…

The Big Ten wants a huge rights fee from Comcast to show the Big Ten Network and Comcast wants to pay only a small one and put the Big Ten Network into one its packages where one can opt to have the network or not. That makes a lot of sense to me. Even if I lived here all the time and loved one or two specific Big Ten schools, all I really want to see are football and basketball games. I don’t want to see cross country meets or golf tournaments; there are only two “revenue sports” in college and I would not want my cable bill to be inflated by even a dime a month so that a handful of yahoos can watch some minor sport on basic cable TV at my expense.

And by the way, the Big Ten has already sold the rights to the games that are considered “prime meat”. Check out ESPN and the broadcast networks; they carry Big Ten games – the ones they want to carry. Why should Comcast have to pay the Big Ten top dollar for the leftover games?

Since I’m on the subject of college football – sort of – let me make this a college football day here in Curmudgeon Central. I see that there are lots of discussions about which teams belong in the Top Ten this week. It looks as if there is plenty of fodder for debate out there. Naturally, I’m more interested in who belongs in the Bottom Ten this week and so I’ll give you some nominees:

Utah State, Florida International, North Texas, Marshall and Colorado State are all winless.

NC State is 1-5 with that win coming over Wofford. The Wolfpack defense is 114th in the nation against the run; the offense is 102nd.

Duke, Syracuse, Iowa State and Minnesota are all 1-5. Minnesota’s win was a triple OT event against Miami-Ohio. Would the Gophers have been this bad with the coach they fired last year in order to bring in this new guy?

The perennial denizens of the Bottom Ten such as Temple (1-5), UAB (1-4), Middle Tennessee State (1-5), Rice (1-4) and SMU (1-4) all deserve mention here.

While LSU is atop the polls as the best team in the land at the moment, La Lafayette is 1-5 (with its win coming over winless North Texas), La Tech is 1-4, La Monroe is 1-4 and Tulane is 1-4. It seems as if there is a pox on football programs in Louisiana this year but that they’ve found an antidote in Baton Rouge.

Oh, is Wisconsin the worst 5-1 team in the history of college football? Just asking…

Was the Stanford win over USC a bigger upset than the Appalachian State win over Michigan? Just asking…

Was the 5-0 start for Kentucky a mirage? They cracked the Top Ten; then they lost on the road to South Carolina last week and now face LSU and Florida in succession. We shall see …

I got a note from one of the folks that I will join in Las Vegas at the end of the month for our annual pilgrimage. He asked me to see if I could find any college football prognosticator who had LSU, Ohio State, South Florida, BC and Cal in the Top Five for the preseason rankings. His thinking is that if anyone did that, we ought to follow his advice on the games being played whilst we are in Las Vegas. Probably not a bad idea at all…

Remember a while back when the back-up punter at a school in Colorado stabbed the first string punter in the leg in order to win the punting job? That had to rank way up there on the outrageous behavior meter, but it is no longer alone in its outrageousness. Recently, in Jacksonville, one of the running backs on the team was feeling pressure from a new freshman running back. So, to relieve that pressure the incumbent back planted some marijuana in the freshman’s room and then dropped a dime on the freshman. Just for the record, this is not a good example of how open competition for jobs on a football team makes everyone better.

Florida safety, Tony Joiner was arrested in what turned out to be a misunderstanding regarding his attempt to get his girlfriend’s car out of an impound lot. The owner of the towing company in Gainesville who alerted the police about the incident received several hundred threatening phone calls about the incident and “more than a dozen” of them contained death threats. Folks, it is perfectly all right to have a fanatical interest in a football team, but threatening someone with bodily harm or death under these kinds of circumstances is so far over the top that it can’t be ignored. I hope the Gainesville police work to track down and charge those who threatened to kill or have this man killed.

Bowl season is not yet upon us but already is seems as if there are going to be some strange pairings this winter. The reason is that there are too many contractual tie-ins between bowl games and various conferences. For example, did you know that there are six spots reserved for Conference USA teams in bowl games? That’s half of the conference. I wonder just how many folks can rattle off all twelve conference members without peeking; I could only get to ten… Oh and four of those dozen C-USA teams got a mention above as possibly being in the Bottom Ten nationally. Why does this matter?

Well, the Big East only gets five slots for its bowl eligible teams and it sure looks as if six of those teams will be bowl eligible this year. Even though the Big 12 gets a whopping eight slots, it seems that there could be 10 bowl eligible teams from that conference this year. Two are probably going to be sitting home. Look, I’m not making the argument that a ninth Big 12 team versus a sixth Big East team would be scintillating and compelling college football viewing; but I refuse to believe that in every case the sixth best team in Conference USA – maybe Tulsa or Houston? – will provide me with a better viewing experience. Oh, and there aren’t slots for independents at all so what happens if Navy is bowl eligible…?

Lest anyone think I’m picking on Conference USA, the MAC has three guaranteed slots. At the moment the best record for any team in the MAC is 3-3; the combined conference record for the 13 teams – and I couldn’t name all of them either without peeking – is 30-47. Do I need to see the third best team in this league play in a bowl game? I don’t think so.

Finally, NASA sent a rocket probe to Titan – the largest of Saturn’s moons – and the instruments sent back data indicating that the surface of that moon is covered with a “flammable liquid gas”. I had no idea that Taco Bell had expanded into that region of the solar system…

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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Even if you’ve only read a few of these rants, you probably realize that I live in the Northern Virginia suburbs of Washington DC. I certainly have not earned any kind of “homer” title there given my less than kind remarks about the area as a “sports town” - - it’s a really bad one. Washington DC is a town for winners; the losers go home and wait for another few years to run in elections one more time trying to become winners again in order to return to the city. It is a town of front-runners that supports only winning teams with only one exception - - the Washington Redskins.

I’m not qualified to give you some kind of deep sociological explanation as to why the Redskins are different from all the other sports teams in the area; all I can tell you is that they are. Even if the Redskins were to go about 15 years only making the playoffs twice and spending the majority of that time under .500, they would still draw huge crowds to every game and enjoy a huge and rabid following in the town. In fact, that is just what the Redskins have done for the last 15 years…

Every other team has to win to get significant attention. When MLB was ready to put the Expos into Washington, I said that the team would have great support for the first year and then attendance would drop until the team was good or until there was a new stadium to be the attraction for fans. That is exactly what has happened. This year the Washington Nationals averaged less than 25,000 fans per game; it is the second consecutive year of declining attendance and at lots of games – not just the Cubs and Mets who have a national following – the number of fans rooting for the visitor is about 50% of the crowd. Unless the Nationals get very good very quickly, this is a franchise that could turn out to be a bottomless pit for money.

And the Washington Nationals are about to get a new stadium paid for by the good people of Washington DC courtesy of their City Council and their previous and current mayors. The citizenry will spend more than $600M on this project – not counting the cost of building a new Metro station near the new stadium site. No matter how you slice it, that’s a lot of money for a stadium for a team that just hasn’t generated all that much interest in the town.

Meanwhile, there is a team in DC that averages over 20,000 fans per game and who plays in the same fetid sewer of a stadium that the Nationals play in and who wants to build its own stadium in the city and is willing to pay the lion’s share of the construction costs. That would be DC United in MLS in case you don’t know who plays where in the DC area. And somehow those same politicians who found a way to spend $600-700M of the public’s money on a stadium for the Nats cannot find a way to dedicate the parcel of land that would accommodate this soccer-only facility for DC United.

It wasn’t all that many years ago that Jack Kent Cooke wanted to build a new football stadium in DC on his own nickel. Even in the 1980s, RFK Stadium was an armpit that needed to be vacated and then imploded. But after years of negotiating with previous mayors, Jack Kent Cooke couldn’t get the deal done for the city to get him the land he needed to build the place and so he took the stadium and the team to Prince George’s County in Maryland. Might that same scenario be playing itself out once again but this time with DC United? It could.

Some DC United fans have attributed this lack of cooperation on the part of the city government to malicious motivations and nefarious shenanigans. They may be right; but on the other hand, they may want to think about a comment that I believe was first offered by H. L. Mencken:

Never ascribe to malice that which may be equally explained by stupidity.

To put the DC United attendance in perspective, last year’s Washington Wizards made the playoffs and, for a time, had the best record in the NBA Eastern Conference. The Wizards averaged 2,100 fewer fans for their games than DC United averages.

Changing the subject, I have two suggestions for changes that the NFL ought to make. I am not implying that the NFL game is a bad entertainment product; it certainly is not. But it can be made better with these two alterations:

The rule allowing coaches to call timeouts just as the ball is being snapped on game ending field goals has to be changed – and it ought to be changed today. Normally, I do not like the idea of changing a rule in the middle of a season, but this one has gotten out of hand. If a team wants to ice a kicker, so be it. But they should have to call time out such that the play is not going to unfold as if it might actually count. A kicker trying to win or tie a game should only have to do it once and not twice.

On a statistical level, the NFL names it top receiver on the basis of passes caught. That makes about as much sense as naming the top rusher on the basis of carries. Surely, we do not need another complex formula for rating receivers akin to the QB rating which might only make sense to Stephen Hawking; but shouldn’t yards gained on receptions be more important than number of catches?

Finally, the Pacific Institute for Research and Evaluation worked very hard to come up with the finding that alcohol use by minors is higher in those communities where it is easiest for the minors to buy alcohol. Who woulda thunk it?

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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