The Sports Curmudgeon

I think William Shakespeare had this week in mind about 300 years ago when he wrote Much Ado About Nothing. That pretty much sums up the agida I feel when I hear about the Patriots stealing signals from the Jets in last Sunday’s game. I’m even willing to make the assumption that the Patriots did in fact steal those signals – normally, I want to wait to see how further investigation uncovers more facts in a case – because I am not even remotely surprised to learn that they did it. Were I in a position to steal an opponent’s signals such that I would gain an advantage, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I’m not sure what’s worse here: the media reaction of shock and horror that such a thing might actually be going on or the inability of the Jets to come up with signals that aren’t so easily “decoded” that it can be done on the fly during a game.

Memo to the Media: This is not Watergate. This does not pose a threat to the fabric of US society or Western Civilization. These are merely football games. Don’t manufacture “shock” at these “revelations”.

Memo to NFL Honchos: If the Pats broke one of the league rules, then you should punish them. But unless you forfeit their victory and make them losers in that game, you must not be shocked when the Pats – or any other team – has a similar opportunity to steal signals and takes that opportunity. As Herm Edwards said, “You play to win the game.”

Elsewhere in the NFL, the Cleveland Browns traded Charlie Frye to the Seattle Seahawks. Normally, I would think that this was a move of marginal consequence because Charlie Frye is a journeyman QB at best. However, the circumstances of the trade make me wonder just what the hell is going on within the Browns’ organization. This team went through an entire off-season knowing that Charlie Frye is limited in what he has accomplished in the NFL and really has “limited upside”. Yet they kept him on the roster and protracted the negotiations with Brady Quinn such that Quinn missed more than two weeks of training camp. At the end of all that, the Browns decided that Charlie Frye was their best QB and started the season with him - - and stuck with him for less than a half of the first game.

Did the Browns bring in the much-heralded rookie? No. Did they go to their bench and find a crafty veteran who might be on his last hurrah but with a gloried past? No. They brought in Derek Anderson who stunk out the joint as much as Frye did. So, they have now jettisoned Frye, the guy they had determined to be their best QB on the roster, and signed Ken Dorsey in his stead. No offense to Ken Dorsey or any of his blood relatives, but if Ken Dorsey is the answer to the question, then the question must be:

Can you name one of the five worst QBs in the NFL at the moment?

Just before the season started, Browns’ GM, Phil Savage, went into a spasm of hyperbole and declared that the Browns had turned their fortunes around and were ready to compete with anyone and everyone in the NFL. He said the Browns’ current roster compared well to the Bears’ roster in 2006 – the one that went to the Super Bowl in case you forgot already – and that if things fell right for the team in terms of injuries, he expected big things from the Browns. Now, one week into the season, he has traded away the team’s designated starting QB. Once again, might I suggest that the NFL consider testing front offices for violations of the substance abuse policy…

Remember, I said Charlie Frye is no great shakes as a QB; he’s a journeyman at best. But this move shows either panic or abject confusion within the Browns’ front office. For the record, neither of them is a good thing…

In my pre-season analysis, I said that the Vikings’ defense would be helped by getting last year’s first round pick on the field instead of having him on crutches on the sideline. Well, Chad Greenway had an impact in the opener against the Falcons. He forced a fumble and was in on ten tackles.

In MLB, the Mets are 82-62 at the moment. To win 90 games, they will need to go 8-10 or better in their remaining games. The D-Backs are 82-64 and would have to go 8-8 or better in their remaining games. On the off chance that neither team does that, there could well be no team in the NL with 90 wins for the season - - and the last time that happened was before MLB expanded to a 162 game schedule. Over in the AL, the wild-card leader at the moment has the same record as the division leading D-Backs so a 90-game winner in that league is assured.

Here’s a public service announcement for you. Saturday September 15 is National Wife Appreciation Day. I certainly appreciate all the things that my wife has had to endure in the last 41 years of our marriage. But I think I won’t remind her of all those things this Saturday; there’s probably a better focus for my message of appreciation then.

While talking about national celebrations, September is National Rice Month and National Potato Month and National Honey Month and National Biscuit Month. I’ll have to check to see if October is National Insulin Month…

Finally, an observation from Jerry Greene in the Orlando Sentinel:

“What do you think? Must the WWE put an asterisk next to all the championships that were won during its ‘steroid era’?”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…