The Sports Curmudgeon

After a week of buying a new house and arranging for utilities/deliveries and painters and etc., I decided that Friday night was “free time” for me to do some catching up. Our furniture shows up Monday morning after two months of storage; I figure I need a weekend of relaxation to prepare for that event. In truth, my long-suffering wife is out on the town with several old friends/colleagues who are in town for the weekend and I was disinvited…

There are three interesting games in the NFL this weekend. Houston at Atlanta is interesting – not because the game has playoff implications – but because Matt Schaub returns to Atlanta as the starting QB for the Texans. And that gives him an opportunity to rub it in against a Falcons team that isn’t going to win a lot of games this year but had one victory snatched from it last weekend by one of its own players.

Quick Quiz: Which player’s rantings and ravings were most damaging to their teams and to the player’s reputation - - DeAngelo Hall or Milton Bradley. 100 words or less…

Another interesting game will be Denver/Indy. This game ought to have playoff implications but there is another angle here. Peyton Manning will be throwing against a defensive backfield with Champ Bailey at one corner and Dre Bly at the other corner. Just watching that ought to be worth the price of admission…

New England versus Cincy should be a great dessert for the weekend games. The Pats have scored 38 points per game on some decent defenses. The Cincy defense allowed 51 points to the Browns. ‘Nuff said. I don’t think the Pats can hold the Bengals under 20, so this game could have a big number at the end - - sort of like the score of a high school basketball game.

A fourth game might be interesting if Duante Culpepper starts for the Raiders against the Dolphins this weekend. Once again, it’s an interesting story-line for the game and not a game that has any playoff implications at all.

Back when Michael Vick did his apologia, I said that I had no idea if he was sincere or not in his contrition because I cannot read minds. Recent events in the form of Vick testing positive for marijuana as he awaits sentencing in the Federal dogfighting “event” now allow me say this:

1. Perhaps Michael Vick is dumb enough to buy an autographed and game worn Roy Hobbs uniform.

2. Alternatively, if he isn’t dumber than asphalt, then perhaps he wasn’t all that sincere in his statements that he regretted letting his young fans down.

3. Perhaps when he said he had found Jesus whilst going through all of these travails, he meant that he had a new “supplier” named Jesus.

Rex Grossman got benched in Chicago after three games with 1 TD and 6 INTs. People say that’s pretty awful and it would be hard to argue with that. However, down in New Orleans, Drew Brees has 1 TD and 7 INTs and he’s still the starter there. Very interesting… Oh, if you say that Brees doesn’t have any huge talent on the bench behind him – and I won’t argue with that either – then I’ll have to point out that the Bears have now gone to Brian Griese who hasn’t gotten the job done in Denver, Miami and Tampa.

The NHL begins its season this weekend. Did you know that they had already played a whole bunch of exhibition games? So, what is more meaningless:

a.) The final NHL exhibition game for any of the teams or …

b.) The St. Louis Cardinals/Pittsburgh Pirates series this weekend?

After winning more than 50 consecutive international games, the US Women’s soccer team got torched by Brazil in the Women’s World Cup last week. The US coach decided to change goalies for that game and it didn’t work out all that well on the pitch. Even worse, the goalie who was benched jumped ugly on the coach for his decision and then on the teammate who replaced her in that game. Let’s just say that it would not be a good idea for Hope Solo and Brianna Scurry to think about double-dating any time in the near future…

A reader alerted me to the results of a college football game between South Dakota School of Mines and Technology and Mayville State. In triple overtime, the final score was Mayville 10 and S.D. School of Mines and Tech 7. Imagine you are the coach for a team that will be playing either of these teams later this year and you are reviewing this game film. How much coffee would you need to watch it through to the end?

Here is another obscure statistic from another reader. Buffalo is relatively new to NCAA Division 1-A football and you don’t expect a team to step up a level and excel right away. Nevertheless, since the beginning of 1999, Buffalo’s record is 13-78 which is not good. But here’s what’s worse… If you gave Buffalo 19.5 points at the start of every game, their record is still under .500 at 42-49. Now there are some real “growing pains”!

Finally, here’s some advice that Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle gave to Indiana Pacers’ forward Shawne Williams:

Memo to Indiana Pacers’ forward Shawne Williams: If you’re going to drive your car with no driver’s license, expired plates, and a stash of marijuana, you might want to consider using your turn signal. It’s the little stick on the left side.

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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Tennessee men’s basketball coach, Bruce Perl, filed for divorce two days before his 25th wedding anniversary on the basis of “irreconcilable differences”. Took him a while to notice them, don’t you think. Normally, I would ignore that item because I really don’t care about the marital state of coaches; but this time there is an angle. A month or two ago, Tennessee women’s basketball coach, Pat Summitt, filed for divorce just before her 27th wedding anniversary. Now imagine if these two people were Hollywood celebs instead of basketball coaches and picture the tabloids’ obsession with them and how each of them may have “caused” the break-up of the other’s marriage. It won’t happen here because these folks aren’t famous enough even though Bruce Perl waved the proverbial red flag in front of the tabloid producers saying:

“This is a very difficult time for my family and me. It is my hope that everyone will understand that this is a personal matter and respect our privacy.”

Right on, Bruce. That usually calls the dogs off…

The way the MLB post season is set up, there are lots of off-days during the playoffs that lead to the World Series that will start on October 24. Someone calculated that if there is a sweep in the NLCS, the winner of that series would have eight off-days until the start of the World Series. Tom Verducci of Sports Illustrated observed that the San Diego Padres could start Jake Peavy and Chris Young in 10 games – including Games 1 & 2 of every series – and there would be only one three-day rest for either of them. Does this make a lot of sense to you? Is the pitching in MLB so diluted that the powers-that-be are actually trying to make the playoffs into games involving a two-man rotation?

The MLB playoffs have stretched into something that is too long. But perhaps NASCAR’s protracted “playoffs” will give them cover. Here’s Greg Cote’s take in the Miami Herald regarding NASCAR’s “Chase”:

“NASCAR’s Chase for the Cup, culminating in Homestead, is now underway and lasts 2 ½ months. It is believed to be the longest sports playoffs not involving ice.”

Speaking of concocted sporting “playoffs”, I assume that all of the golf fans in the world are now officially into mourning and introspection since the Fed Ex Cup is over and done with. How will they manage to adjust?

In the world of college football, the Sun Belt Conference has long been a group of teams highly sought after by big schools to pad the schedules of the big schools. The Sun Belt teams are Division 1-A, but they rarely pose any real threat to the “big boys”. Well, this year the Sun Belt has two upset wins over BCS Conference schools. Troy beat Oklahoma State and Florida Atlantic beat Minnesota. Could there be more? Well, Arkansas State plays Tennessee this weekend… The oddsmakers in Las Vegas aren’t believers because the Vols are 20 point favorites.

Obviously, the NFL fans in Cincy had to be stunned and even a bit angry when the Bengals gave up 51 points to the Browns last Sunday in a loss. However, I think there had to be rumblings of discontent elsewhere in NFL fandom. The Dallas Cowboys own the Browns’ first round pick in the 2008 draft and every loss by the Browns means a higher pick for the Cowboys. Not only was last week’s game a victory for the Browns but an offensive display of 51 points against any team above the Ivy League level has to give Cowboy fans pause. Many of them were fantasizing about the overall #1 pick in the draft next April; now they look at the Falcons performances so far and wonder if that Cleveland pick will even be in the top five. The draftniks in Dallas probably have a severe case of agida this week.

Two NFL “battles of the unbeatens” this weekend could be interesting games. San Francisco meets Pittsburgh in one of them. It’s not a huge shock that the Steelers are undefeated so far having had to play Buffalo and Cleveland in the first two weeks. It’s a bit surprising that the Niners are undefeated at this point because they have won two games without having been able to move the ball offensively or score very many points. And these two teams have won ten Super Bowls between them – that’s 25% of the championships that have been contested. If this game is available in my viewing area, I’ll definitely be dropping in to watch stretches of it.

The other “battle of the unbeatens” matches Indy and Houston. For the Colts to have won the opening two games is not a surprise; for the Texans it is a shock. In team history, the Texans have never started a season 2-0. Counting last year’s regular season, the Texans have now won three games in a row and they’ve never done that either. With Andre Johnson probably hors de combat this weekend, the Texans would be wise to try to make this a low scoring game. And maybe the way to do that is to forget watching lots of Indy game tapes and focus on the last three times the Colts played the Tennessee Titans. In those last three games against the Titans, the Colts have averaged only 17.6 points per game. That’s the defense Houston will need to play to keep this game close.

I got the following in an e-mail from a reader without a citation as to where it was printed, so I can’t provide a proper citation. Dan Jenkins – the legendary Texas sportswriter and connoisseur of golf and football – supposedly had this to say about Michael Vick’s finding religion as he awaits notice regarding his sentence for dogfighting. I do not know Dan Jenkins but I have read many, many of his writings and this surely sounds like something he would have written/said:

“I’m so pleased Michael Vick found Jesus. I remember when Bonnie and Clyde found Jesus. It was during those moments when Ranger Captain Frank Hamer was peppering their car with machine-gun bullets. I also remember when John Dillinger found Jesus. It was just after he walked out of the Biograph Theatre in Chicago and federal officer Melvin Purvis said, ‘Hold it right there, Johnny.’ “

Finally, here’s a comment from Dwight Perry in the Seattle Times regarding Michael Vick:

“Latest Michael Vick rumor: OK so he did bet on dogfights – but just the ones Tim Donaghy officiated.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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Arrrgh! Today is National Talk Like A Pirate Day – no, not like a Pittsburgh Pirate – and I feel compelled to join in the festivities. Maybe having been threatened with a keelhauling if I neglected to do so has a bit to do with that compulsion…

Shiver me timbers, but do you realize that after two games this season Ladanian Tomlinson is averaging less than 2 yards per carry? Ouch. That’s not a way to continue to construct a Hall of Fame career that cannot be overlooked even one time by the voters. I know the Chargers have faced two “much better than average defenses” in their first two games and that easier times will be coming. But LT is the best all around back in the NFL at the moment and he acquired an “offensive guru” as the head coach this year instead of having to play for a guy whose offensive game plans had dinosaur tracks on them.

There are some NFL GMs out there who don’t seem to understand the concept of “opportunity”. It’s abut damned time that Byron Leftwich found a team willing to give him a regular paycheck for the rest of the season. Now that the Falcons have signed him, they immediately have significantly more depth at QB and they have someone who can legitimately aspire to be the starting QB sometime in mid-October of this season. Why the Chiefs and the Dolphins hesitated here is something I don’t understand. Even if you think Byron Leftwich is a stumblebum who is merely 9-5 to find his ass with either hand, he’s as good if not better than what has started at QB in the first two weeks of the season in KC and Miami and Minnesota - - and maybe even Chicago. Perhaps the GMs on some of those other teams should be made to walk the plank…

According to a story in the LA Times, a financial analyst has suggested to the Tribune Company that they might maximize their revenue from assets that are on the market if they unbundled them and sold them separately. OK, that works some of the time; but, in this case, the assets are the Chicago Cubs baseball franchise, Wrigley Field, some land holdings around and proximal to Wrigley Field and the Tribune Company’s minority stake in Comcast SportsNet. I might be convinced that separating the minority stake in Comcast SportsNet from the Cubbies could make financial sense. But I’m not smart enough to understand how any special premium that Wrigley Field and some proximal land holdings might command might offset the loss of dollars that would have to result in trying to sell a baseball team that would not have a place to play unless the new owner of the team reached an accommodation with the new owner of the stadium. And I can’t for the life of me see how MLB could allow that to happen. It would be like the Cubs using a pinch runner with a wooden leg or a shortstop with a hook for one hand. Arrrgh!

I’ll spend a kind and gentle moment here, matey, handicapping for you the season award winners in MLB as if they were horse races:

AL MVP: A-Rod wins this comfortably; he is over 50 HRs and could drive in 160 runs by the time the season is over. Magglio Ordonez finishes this exacta even though he may hit .360 for the year.

NL MVP: Box David Wright and Chase Utley in the first two slots and put Prince Fielder in for the third slot. That’s the trifecta. However, if the Brewers rally to win the NL Central and Fielder is the batting hero of the final two weeks of the season…

AL Cy Young: Johan Santana (he might lead the league in strikeouts and in ERA this year) and CC Sabathia ought to be the top two vote getters but do not forget Josh Beckett who might close with a rush here. Box these therein your trifectas.

NL Cy Young: Jake Peavy gets my vote and I don’t even ponder anyone else. Wheel the rest of the league in second to finish the exacta.

Now let me return to my more normal ruthless/slashing behavior. I want to present to you my nominees for this year’s biggest wastes of money in MLB. These are folks who took down more than an average salary and who just plain didn’t deliver the goods. What they’re doing is highway robbery - - or maybe piracy on the high seas. Ahoy there…

AL Nominees:

Mike Mussina, NY Yankees. His ERA is over 5 and he has a losing record.

JD Drew, Boston Red Sox. He has all of 8 homeruns this year as a $70M man. The good news in Boston is he hasn’t been hurt most of the season. Meanwhile, the bad news in Boston is that he has not been hurt most of the season.

NL Nominees:

Marcus Giles, San Diego Padres. His batting average is in the neighborhood of .230 and his slugging average is around .310.

Andruw Jones, Atlanta Braves. This is his contract year and he is batting .220. His agent is Scott Boras. Imagine the joy of dealing with Boras to try to sign a 30-year-old outfielder who stunk out the joint this year.

Mike Maroth is 0-4 with the Cards this year and his ERA is right around 11. That’s bad no matter how you look at it but here’s what’s even worse. Opposing hitters are batting .405 against him. That’s amazing because it really isn’t very easy to hit those moving bats with pitched balls so often…

Finally, here are two perspectives on two slumping baseball teams:

“The Mariners, 20 games over .500 and three games up in the AL wild card race on Aug 24 then plummeted down a 2-15 mineshaft of historic proportions.

“Who said you’d never see the Mariners in a fall classic?”

[Dwight Perry in the Seattle Times]

“Over the past few days, the Marlins tied Tampa Bay for the worst record in the majors, were officially eliminated from the wild card chase and played before a home crowd estimated at 400. Otherwise, good season, good times.”

[Greg Cote in the Miami Herald]

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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In the past, I have interrupted these essays from time to time to present “public service announcements” so that you might be aware of important – but lesser known – holidays or celebrations in our society. Today, I want to begin with a “private announcement”. I want to welcome into the world my first grandson born this morning at 12:09 EDT. Were I the President of the United States, he might be “the First Grandson” but I’m not. So he will have to settle for being “my first grandson”.

Over the weekend, there were a bunch of toe-stubbing incidents by college football teams. Wisconsin is supposedly the 7th best team in the country. They won last weekend by two TDs but allowed The Citadel to score 31 points. That’s not what the seventh ranked team in the country ought to do. Some of the other games on The Citadel’s schedule include Wofford, Elon, Furman, Charleston Southern and Appalachian State. The seventh best team in the country ought to stomp this kind of opponent - - if they are really the seventh best team in the country.

Minnesota started off its season losing at home to Bowling Green. Last weekend, they visited Florida Atlantic University and lost again. They start their Big Ten season next week and have only one more out-of-conference-patsy on the schedule - - North Dakota Sate on October 20. If they lose that one, their first-year coach ought to be dropped like a bad habit.

Duke snapped its 22-game losing streak over the weekend against Northwestern. The Las Vegas oddsmakers would seem to be mightily unimpressed because the early line for this weekend has Duke as an 11.5 point underdog to Navy.

Stanford won last weekend beating San Jose State by a score of 35-0. Here’s an indication of the low regard in which the Stanford football program is held. I read where the San Jose State coach ordered a mandatory practice for his team on Sunday morning at 6:30 AM. He said that any player who didn’t show up would be cut from the team and any coach who did not show up would be fired. Do you think he might have been a bit miffed?

Notre Dame lost by a score similar to the Stanford/San Jose State score but Charlie Weis didn’t order an early AM Sunday practice. Maybe he realizes that this Notre Dame team just isn’t all that good and he isn’t going to squeeze any blood from that turnip. Notre Dame is 0-3 now and has yet to score an offensive touchdown this year. Jimmy Claussen was sacked 8 times on Saturday; the offensive line just cannot block anybody. Nonetheless, the ineptitude of the Notre Dame football team this year should not tarnish the performance of Michigan running back, Mike Hart, in the game last weekend – or for the season to date for that matter. Hart gained 187 yards on 35 carries on Saturday and is averaging 167.3 yards per game for the year.

Auburn lost its second home game in a row. After South Florida beat them last week, one might have expected them to pound the bejeepers out of the visiting Mississippi State team this week. After all, this was a conference game and Mississippi State isn’t exactly a powerhouse within the SEC. Auburn still has to face Florida, LSU, Georgia and Alabama this year so it might just be a loooong season down there in Auburn.

Last week, I said that Texas Tech ought to put up a huge number against Rice. Well they won the game 59-24 and had six TD passes in the game. To demonstrate just how dominant they were, Texas Tech also had 16 penalties called against them for 183 yards. Normally, that kind of sloppy/undisciplined performance on the field produces a loss. Not last Saturday …

In what was probably the biggest shock of the weekend, the eleventh ranked UCLA Bruins went to Utah to play a team that had so many injuries the team managers were out scouring the dorms looking for “big guys”. The final score was Utah 44 - UCLA 6. I suspect that the UCLA fans and coaching staff are happy to have this game fly under all that radar chaff emitted by the horrible early seasons tossed out there by Michigan, Auburn and Notre Dame.

Let me say this with regard to the OJ Simpson situation in Las Vegas: To describe the events portrayed by the news reports as “surreal” would be insufficient. Obviously, I think it is prudent to wait to see what else turns up in the investigations and procedures that will ensue here. However, I do have to wonder how dumb does OJ Simpson have to be to think that that any kind of confrontational scene even remotely related to the one alleged to have happened would be a reasonable way to recover his memorabilia items? Here’s how dumb; we may never come to know who really did put the “bop” in the “bop-she-bop”, but we can now be virtually certain that OJ put the “ding” into “dingbat”. What a maroon! [/Bugs Bunny]

A few observations from the NFL happenings over the weekend:

Forget Carson Palmer and Chad Johnson and the Bengals’ explosive offense. If the defense that allowed the Cleveland [bleeping] Browns to score 51 points continues to play like that, this team will be out of contention by Halloween.

Forget Jim Johnson’s “exotic blitzing defenses”. If the Eagles don’t find ways to score a touchdown more than twice a month, they will be out of contention by Halloween.

Just forget the Atlanta Falcons…

Since I began this rant with a reference to my aperiodic public service announcements, let me provide you with one here. September is National Pleasure Your Mate Month. Over to you as to how you might choose to observe the month…

Finally, here’s Peyton Manning describing his high school days in New Orleans:

“I grew five inches one year in high school. I was tall, skinny and slow. I don’t think I could have run out of sight in a week.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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While the argument rages about whether or not Roger Goodell was too lenient in his punishment of Bill Belichick and/or the Pats, let me reiterate my position. The NFL has shown that it cares less about violation of this rule than it does violations of its rules on substance abuse or “personal conduct”. Those can get you suspended from the NFL up to “indefinitely.” I don’t want to belittle a fine of $500K to a coach; that’s some heavy bread. The fine of $250K for the Pats as an organization is so meaningless that it doesn’t merit a comment. Losing draft choices might have an impact on the team in some future year - - or not.

What the NFL has done in this action is pave the way for some kind of future violation of this rule – probably using some different means of access to/retention of an opponent’s signals – to gain similar advantages. Why? Because the object of NFL teams is to win a sufficient number of games to make the playoffs and “wins” are the currency of the league. If signal stealing produces wins it will happen. If signal stealing results in loses via forfeiture, then it is far less likely to happen. It may be a while until the Pats or some other team gets caught doing this but it will be ongoing.

There was a minor buzz earlier this week when JaMarcus Russell finally signed with the Raiders. He will not take a meaningful snap this year for the Raiders because he’s missed far too much practice time. Hey, that worked for Carson Palmer a couple of years ago, right? Here’s something else Russell missed out on - - interest in his bank account. Do the calculation here using 5% as a rate of return on his signing bonus money. If he had signed on June 1, not only would he have been to all the mini-camp days and all the training camp practices and etc., he would also have earned somewhere in the neighborhood of $500K in interest over the 3.5 months since he could deposit the money. And that’s interest he’ll never recover because banks don’t allow deposits in hindsight…

Down a level in college football, there was a Year when Notre Dame played Michigan State and the result was a 10-10 tie. Lots of fans were disappointed because these were the #1 and #2 teams in the country that year and there was no possibility they could meet in one of the bowl games due to contract commitments between the Rose Bowl and the Big Ten. This year Notre Dame plays Michigan in a game where neither team is nearly good enough to be in the top twenty five and where neither team looks good enough to score 10 points. So, maybe the game can end 3-3 because after five scoreless overtimes both teams just decide it’s pointless to continue?

Related to this Michigan/Notre State game, Ohio State fans might want to curb their enthusiasm regarding Michigan’s misfortunes this year. I’ll bet there will be loads of Appalachian State gear worn to the Ohio State/Michigan game; I’ll bet that the final score of that game will be chanted loudly and frequently from the Ohio State side. HOW-EVAH [/Stephen A. Smith] what would a Michigan upset of Ohio State do? After all, that would mean that the Buckeyes lost to the team that lost to Appalachian State… Rather than gloat, Ohio State fans ought to be heading to their preferred houses of worship to pray that doesn’t happen to them.

I’ve said many times that pre-season polls are meaningless and should be ignored. But they aren’t. I’ve said that late season polls are hugely inaccurate and that they should not be used to determine which team is the best team in college football for any given season. But they are. So maybe we need a suggestion as to how we might make these polls more accurate and I have one idea:

Rescind permanently and irrevocably the voting privileges in any poll sponsored by any organization of anyone who voted for Michigan as one of the top five teams in the country going into this season.

And maybe the know-it-alls who voted for Florida State to be in the top twenty-five should have voting privileges rescinded too. It’s too soon to know that one but in five or six more weeks, we may be able to thin the herd a bit more…

The USA Today poll uses coaches to make the rankings on the theory that coaches know good teams from bad teams when they see them. The flaw in the logic is that coaches don’t see most of the teams they are going to vote for because they don’t have time; but hey, pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. This week, the coaches have Auburn out of the top twenty-five (at #26) based on their loss to South Florida. That’s fine. However, they have South Florida ranked below Auburn at #27. Excuse me; South Florida just beat Auburn at Auburn.

If you are a fan of offensive football, let me point you to a game this weekend – not involving Hawaii. Last week, Baylor beat Rice and in the process of doing that, Baylor passed for over 400 yards and 6 TDs. That tells me that the pass defense for Rice is overmatched this year. This weekend, Rice gets to play Texas Tech with their pass-happy offense that is significantly superior to anything Baylor puts on the field. I’d look for at least 500 yards passing from Texas Tech in this game and maybe even more than 6 TDs. The only way Rice “stops” them is if a monsoon shows up.

The officials at Rutgers have apologized to Navy for the profane taunting of the Navy players and fans at their recent football game. These officials have pledged it shall not happen again. Good luck with that. Here’s an interesting irony. Rutgers students and fans wound themselves into an elevated state of righteous indignation when Don Imus called their women’s basketball team a derogative name. Imus was wrong to do that; his remarks were tasteless at best; but they were not profane or taunting. A former colleague used to say that I had lots of class; but sadly, it was all low class. I’m thinking that line might be applicable here…

Speaking of Rutgers makes me think about the Big East as a conference. So far in its out of conference games, the big East Teams are 14-2 by my counting – and both of those losses were turned in by Syracuse. Two of the victories came over Oregon State and Auburn; those wins point to a resurgent Big East conference on the playing field. However, most of the rest of the victories have come at the expense of teams that can’t really b e called “second level teams” because too many of them aren’t nearly that good. In alphabetical order, here are some of the top-shelf programs that have fattened that 14-2 record:

Buffalo
Duke
Elon
Grambling State
Maine
Middle Tennessee State
Murray State
Southeast Missouri State

Finally, here’s an observation from Scott Ostler in the San Francisco Chronicle:

“If the A’s build the ballpark they want to build in Fremont and build a village around it, the village rules will specifically exclude some businesses, including: Goodwill stores, card clubs, veterinary hospitals, funeral homes, porn shops, beauty schools and massage and tattoo parlors. So apparently the A’s aren’t planning to share the stadium with the Raiders.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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I think William Shakespeare had this week in mind about 300 years ago when he wrote Much Ado About Nothing. That pretty much sums up the agida I feel when I hear about the Patriots stealing signals from the Jets in last Sunday’s game. I’m even willing to make the assumption that the Patriots did in fact steal those signals – normally, I want to wait to see how further investigation uncovers more facts in a case – because I am not even remotely surprised to learn that they did it. Were I in a position to steal an opponent’s signals such that I would gain an advantage, I’d do it in a heartbeat. I’m not sure what’s worse here: the media reaction of shock and horror that such a thing might actually be going on or the inability of the Jets to come up with signals that aren’t so easily “decoded” that it can be done on the fly during a game.

Memo to the Media: This is not Watergate. This does not pose a threat to the fabric of US society or Western Civilization. These are merely football games. Don’t manufacture “shock” at these “revelations”.

Memo to NFL Honchos: If the Pats broke one of the league rules, then you should punish them. But unless you forfeit their victory and make them losers in that game, you must not be shocked when the Pats – or any other team – has a similar opportunity to steal signals and takes that opportunity. As Herm Edwards said, “You play to win the game.”

Elsewhere in the NFL, the Cleveland Browns traded Charlie Frye to the Seattle Seahawks. Normally, I would think that this was a move of marginal consequence because Charlie Frye is a journeyman QB at best. However, the circumstances of the trade make me wonder just what the hell is going on within the Browns’ organization. This team went through an entire off-season knowing that Charlie Frye is limited in what he has accomplished in the NFL and really has “limited upside”. Yet they kept him on the roster and protracted the negotiations with Brady Quinn such that Quinn missed more than two weeks of training camp. At the end of all that, the Browns decided that Charlie Frye was their best QB and started the season with him - - and stuck with him for less than a half of the first game.

Did the Browns bring in the much-heralded rookie? No. Did they go to their bench and find a crafty veteran who might be on his last hurrah but with a gloried past? No. They brought in Derek Anderson who stunk out the joint as much as Frye did. So, they have now jettisoned Frye, the guy they had determined to be their best QB on the roster, and signed Ken Dorsey in his stead. No offense to Ken Dorsey or any of his blood relatives, but if Ken Dorsey is the answer to the question, then the question must be:

Can you name one of the five worst QBs in the NFL at the moment?

Just before the season started, Browns’ GM, Phil Savage, went into a spasm of hyperbole and declared that the Browns had turned their fortunes around and were ready to compete with anyone and everyone in the NFL. He said the Browns’ current roster compared well to the Bears’ roster in 2006 – the one that went to the Super Bowl in case you forgot already – and that if things fell right for the team in terms of injuries, he expected big things from the Browns. Now, one week into the season, he has traded away the team’s designated starting QB. Once again, might I suggest that the NFL consider testing front offices for violations of the substance abuse policy…

Remember, I said Charlie Frye is no great shakes as a QB; he’s a journeyman at best. But this move shows either panic or abject confusion within the Browns’ front office. For the record, neither of them is a good thing…

In my pre-season analysis, I said that the Vikings’ defense would be helped by getting last year’s first round pick on the field instead of having him on crutches on the sideline. Well, Chad Greenway had an impact in the opener against the Falcons. He forced a fumble and was in on ten tackles.

In MLB, the Mets are 82-62 at the moment. To win 90 games, they will need to go 8-10 or better in their remaining games. The D-Backs are 82-64 and would have to go 8-8 or better in their remaining games. On the off chance that neither team does that, there could well be no team in the NL with 90 wins for the season - - and the last time that happened was before MLB expanded to a 162 game schedule. Over in the AL, the wild-card leader at the moment has the same record as the division leading D-Backs so a 90-game winner in that league is assured.

Here’s a public service announcement for you. Saturday September 15 is National Wife Appreciation Day. I certainly appreciate all the things that my wife has had to endure in the last 41 years of our marriage. But I think I won’t remind her of all those things this Saturday; there’s probably a better focus for my message of appreciation then.

While talking about national celebrations, September is National Rice Month and National Potato Month and National Honey Month and National Biscuit Month. I’ll have to check to see if October is National Insulin Month…

Finally, an observation from Jerry Greene in the Orlando Sentinel:

“What do you think? Must the WWE put an asterisk next to all the championships that were won during its ‘steroid era’?”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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Over the weekend, one of the NFL games piped into my viewing area was the Steelers/Browns debacle. It wasn’t a contest whose outcome was in doubt for very long so I began to focus on watching things other than the ball. I could not help noticing Ted Washington playing as the nose tackle for the Browns. Washington has been in the NFL since 1991; he will turn 40 next year right around the time that the NFL holds its draft; he takes up space and occupies blockers in the middle of the defense because he is huge. They list his weight as 375 lbs; it would not surprise me if he were somewhere just north of four bills. And let me be as gracious as I can here; there’s no way Ted Washington will be a spokesperson for one of those “six-pack abs” exercise machines that fill up infomercial time at 3:00 AM.

That got me to thinking about athletes who compete at a high professional level but who are not exactly in the best of shape. The name from recent sports history that jumped to mind was Gilbert Brown – erstwhile DT for the Packers and prototype for the “nose tackle as immoveable object” – and so I decided to present a list of candidates for The Gilbert Brown Award. And of course, Ted Washington will be one of the nominees - - but there are others…

Staying in the world of professional football, Grady Jackson is also a DT in the NFL and his responsibility is very similar to Ted Washington’s. Jackson probably doesn’t weigh as much as Washington but he is shorter. If he were two inches taller, he’d be spherical. Grady Jackson is a worthy nominee for The Gilbert Brown Award.

Also from the ranks of the NFL, I read a report that Kris Jenkins showed up in training camp this year weighing 384 lbs. Obviously, I wasn’t there to see the needle move on that scale nor did I check the calibration certificate on the instrument; but here’s what I know. When Kris Jenkins was one of the top DTs in the NFL, he was playing at a listed 310 lbs. That’s big. But if he chunked on an extra 74 lbs, he would be in a position to win Costume Party prizes at Halloween for “most original costume” All he’d have to do is throw a sheet over his head and show up. No, he would not be dressed as a ghost; he’d be dressed as Alaska. Kris Jenkins is nominated for The Gilbert Brown Award.

I could probably fill up my nomination list by staying in the NFL and going from team to team picking out defensive tackles or offensive guards and so to make this a more catholic list within the sporting cosmos; I’ll stop there and look at other sports. And of course, the name, John Daly, leaps to mind. Daly is nowhere near 350 lbs to be sure, but in terms of being out of shape as an athlete, I think it’s rather clear he resembles that remark. Add to his physical conditioning the fact that he smokes while competing and has been known to quaff his share of adult beverages and he becomes more than worthy for inclusion on this list of out of shape athletes.

In the world of baseball, Dmitri Young is an amazing specimen. He’s been among the leading hitters in the National League for much of this season; but to look at him, you have to wonder how he can get his bat around to hit the ball. After all, there is a lot of angular momentum that has to be applied to his torso just to begin to get it to twist. And he won’t be getting a lot of infield hits unless the opposing infielders have the defensive skills of the Easter Island statues. Dmitri Young could be the Comeback Player of the Year in the NL; he might also acquire The Gilbert Brown Award. Now there’s an exacta for you.

In baseball, pitchers tend to be more out of shape than position players and the poster child for out of shape pitchers would have to be David Wells. If Wells got even slightly larger in the “posterior region”, teams would have to forego use of the centerfield camera when he was pitching. No one would be able to see the catcher. According to his player profile, he weighs 250 lbs; if you believe that, I would really like to play high stakes poker with you. Did I hear a second for David Wells’ nomination here? Thank you very much…

Another worthy contender from the ranks of MLB pitchers has to be Antonio Alfonseca. This man puts his pants on one tent at a time; and when he goes clothes shopping, he heads for the section of the store where the sizes are Humongous and Jumbo. It would be an interesting experiment to put Alfonseca and Wells on a seesaw just to see which one would wind up in the air and which would be on the ground. I wonder if the town where Alfonseca lives has a local ordinance against him jogging every morning just to control potholes in the town. Add him to the list of nominees here.

The NBA used to have lots of fat guys but the game has changed to the point where there aren’t many left. John “Hot Plate” Williams and Laedell Eckles and Oliver Miller and Kevin Duckworth would have been nominees for The Gilbert Brown Award in years before Gilbert Brown even burst onto the sporting scene. But nowadays there are only a very few folks like that. There are times when Shaquille O’Neal looks as if he’s ready to make seismic instruments register each of his footfalls up and down the court. I don’t think Shaq is seriously out of condition but if I had to put an NBA player of note on this list of nominees, it would be him.

Lots – and I mean lots – of heavyweight boxers are just big plodding men who spend as much time leaning on their opponents as they do pummeling them. But the state of boxing is such that many sports fans cannot conjure up an image of many boxers these days just by mentioning the name. Except for “Butterbean”. When he was fighting more frequently – maybe 15 years ago – he was in the 400 lb range and would not sign for bouts longer than four rounds. He continues to participate in boxing matches and in the world of kickboxing/mixed martial arts. The image of Butterbean attempting a spinning heel kick to the head of an opponent makes me think of the International Space Station when it totally loses gyroscopic control. Butterbean is on the list…

I will not venture into the world of professional wrestling for nominees here. The most significant reason for this is that I don’t know enough of the currently active rasslers to make any logical choices here and I have absolutely no interest in delving into that sub-culture to learn enough to offer nominees here. But I’m sure there is a rassler out there named “Big Daddy So-and-So” or “Mount Kilimanjaro” or something like that. Maybe that guy belongs on this list – or maybe professional wrestling just needs its own award for this kind of person; they could call it The Haystacks Calhoun Award.

That’s my list. Any other nominations from the floor before we commence the voting process?

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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My vagabond summer is entering the home stretch and unless I get very fortunate with access to a computer and the Internet over the next two weeks, I will not be able to do Mythical Picks. So, let me give you a recap of last week and point out the gambling lesson therein. I opened the NCAA season with a 4-0 week – and warned everyone that did not mean similar results would reliably follow. And all I had to do was wait until the second week of the college football season to say something along the lines of “See, I told you so!” I made six picks last weekend; only two were correct.

There are still two Monday night games left in the NFL weekend and I did not pick the Thursday night opener so I made picks in 13 games. The record was 11-2 last weekend against the spread; and in addition, I picked Tennessee to win outright as a money-line bet. That’s so good that I have to say it again; it’s not going to be like that every weekend - - and when Mythical Picks return in a couple of weeks, I am fully expecting the oddsmakers to get their revenge on me quickly.

Of course, there is great weeping and gnashing of teeth in Ann Arbor and in South Bend this week. Not only have the Michigan and Notre Dame teams lost their first two games this year, they have both looked horrible in doing so. And they face each other next… Now that’s the good news for fans of one of these teams. Here’s what Dwight Perry had to say about this game in the Seattle Times:

“Notre Dame (0-2) at Michigan (0-2) – destined to be remembered as the Woes Bowl.”

Another team that has started out the season at 0-2 is North Texas. That’s not all that surprising; North Texas is anything but a “perennial power” in college football. However, it’s new coach, Riley Dodge, came there from a “perennial power” in Texas high school football where he lost only one game in the last five seasons. Now, he has doubled that total in the first two weeks of this season. Losing the opener to Oklahoma is understandable but last weekend’s loss was to SMU and that’s not nearly the same thing. Somewhere, Gerry Faust is nodding knowingly…

Western Kentucky is a Division 1-A school – albeit not a very good one. In one of the rankings of college teams from top to bottom, Western Kentucky is ranked 118th. They reached all the way down to the NAIA ranks to schedule West Virginia Tech for last weekend and won that game 87-0. Western Kentucky scored 49 points in the first quarter alone… Any cheering done in that stadium anytime after the middle of the first quarter was like applause at a hit and run accident.

Hawaii beat La Tech last weekend and they play UNLV next weekend. Rather than fly all the way back to Hawaii and then to Las Vegas, Hawaii will stay here on the mainland. That makes a boatload of sense; I’d do the same thing if confronted with that kind of a schedule. However, please remember this when one of the NCAA “talking suits” tells you that there can’t be a football playoff because it would interfere with the scholar-athletes’ pursuit of an education – the mainstream purpose of the university. Here’s a team cutting a week’s worth of classes. Might that same “talking suit” explain to me how that furthers their educational pursuits?

If you love controversy, here’s something for you to root for in the next couple of months. Root for USC, LSU, West Virginia and Oklahoma to go undefeated and for all of them to continue to win all of their games with ease. Then sit back and hear the screams of anguish and the charges of “foul play” that will surely emanate from whichever schools do not get to play in the BCS Championship game.

In NFL action over the weekend, the Chargers used defense and two turnovers in Chicago territory to score twice and beat the Bears 14-3. Will someone tell me how that is so different from “Martyball”? Wasn’t Norv Turner there to juice up that offense?

In my NFL pre-season analysis, I said that Cedric Benson would be in the spotlight in Chicago after the Bears traded Thomas Jones and elevated Benson to the status of “featured back”. When the Bears were down two scores late in the 4th quarter yesterday, they had fourth and one in Chargers’ territory and had to get that first down to pretend they could still pull out the game. They gave it to Benson and he went exactly nowhere. I liked Cedric Benson a lot coming out of Texas, but he had better improve a lot over yesterday’s performance lest he become a real target for fans in Chicago.

Amazingly, the Bears are now in sole possession of last place in the NFC North as the Lions, Packers and Vikings all won yesterday. That’s not gonna last all that long, but it’s interesting to note at the moment.

Did you happen to watch any of the CBS NFL Pre-Game show yesterday? James Brown tried to Keep Dan Marino, Bill Cowher, Shannon Sharpe and Boomer Esiason involved enough that they didn’t fall asleep on the set – while carving out some time for Charley Casserley.

Memo to CBS Honchos: Enough already. That set has a population density that rivals Bangladesh.

Meanwhile, at ESPN the new MNF broadcasting team hits the airwaves tonight for its first real game. It can’t be a surprise to anyone who reads these essays that I am not a fan of Joe Theismann as a TV analyst, so I have to think the announcing will be better this year. Now for the real challenge. Can ESPN find it in its heart to limit the promos for ABC sit-coms and/or new Disney movies throughout the second quarter of every game? I sure hope so.

All of the networks go overboard on showing big hits in football games and ESPN’s “Jacked Up!!” segment has always been particularly annoying. Now that Bills’ TE Kevin Everett required spinal surgery for a neck injury and has “sparse movement” in his limbs as of this morning, might the glorification of those kinds of plays be toned down just a wee bit?

I see where the three Duke Lacrosse players who were charged and then released are now suing a whole bunch of folks for a whole bunch of money. What I did not see was that any of them decided to sue either Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson for defamation of character. If they did that, it would be fun to watch either of those gentlemen on the witness stand under oath. I know I’d be glued to CourtTV if they carried it.

Finally, Gregg Drinnan in the Kamloops Daily News quoted comedian George Carlin commenting on some of the lesser lights of televised sports:

“Competitive eating isn’t a sport. It’s one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the U.S Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What’s next, competitive farting? Oh wait, they’re already doing that. It’s called The Howard Stern Show.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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Just to set the stage here, I’m writing this on Friday morning and so I won’t pretend that I took the Colts over the Saints last night. But they sure did look good in dismantling the Saints 41-10, didn’t they? The over/under line for that game started the week at 51; that would have made the game a push. But there had to be a huge influx of money on the OVER because the line climbed to 53.5 at most sportsbooks by Thursday afternoon and to 54 at two of them. And all of those OVER bets were losers.

The lesson here is that an influx of money on one side of a wager is not necessarily an indicator that someone knows something about the game…

I want to urge everyone reading this not to use anything here as part of your decision-making processes regarding wagers you might make that involve actual negotiable currency. If you did that, you’d probably be dumb enough to go to the Olympics, win a gold medal, and then have it bronzed.

General Comments:

You are going to see a lot of “Brett Favre moments” on ESPN this season because he is going to set a bunch of records this year unless he gets carted off the field in a body cast. Here are some milestones well within his reach this year:

Favre’s seventh TD pass this year will put him at #1 on the all-time list ahead of Dan Marino’s 420 TDs.

Favre’s fifth INT this year will put him at #1 on the all-time list ahead of George Blanda’s 277.

Favre’s second win this year will put him at #1 on the all-time list ahead of John Elway’s 148.

Favre’s 138th pass attempt will put him at #1 on the all-time list ahead of Dan Marino’s 8,358.

Here is a milestone that may or may not be within reach for Brett Favre this year:

He needs 3,862 yards passing to pass Dan Marino’s all-time record of 61,361.

Get set for one new rule change in the NFL this year. Players are only permitted to spike the ball in the end zone after a TD. So, if a player catches an eight-yard pass for a first down and spikes the ball, he will draw a five-yard penalty. That doesn’t bother me; in fact, I’d rather see it be a 15-yard penalty to be sure that no team has it happen twice this year.

Here’s something from Randy Galloway in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram that I had not realized. The Dallas Cowboys have not won a playoff game in 10 years. I would have lost that bet…

There are a few games this opening weekend that look to have all the appeal of pigsty in the middle of the dog days of August. You’ll probably be able to tell which ones they are as I go through the list.

KC at Houston – 3 (37.5): You may need to carry some air-freshener with you if you watch this one. I know the exhibition games are meaningless, but KC only scored 32 points in those meaningless games. At best, these two teams are mediocre so you can surely find something more interesting to do than to wager on this one. Because I said I’d pick every game – and for no other reason – I’ll take Houston at home and lay the points.

Denver – 3 at Buffalo (37): You know how Mike Shanahan looks as if steam is about to burst from every orifice in his head when the Broncos are stymied? I think he might look like that this weekend. I’ll take Buffalo at home with the points.

Pittsburgh – 4 at Cleveland (36.5): The Mike Tomlin-era is not off to a very respectful start with the Vegas oddsmakers; Cleveland is not a good team. In what I think will be low scoring games, I usually prefer to take the points, but I can’t do that here. Give me the Steelers and I’ll lay the points.

Tennessee at Jax – 7 (37.5): This is the largest spread of the week. Either the schedule-makers managed to put together all close games this week or the oddsmakers haven’t gotten a line on all of the teams just yet. I want the Titans here with the points please. And Tennessee is at +300 on the money line at several sportsbooks; at that price, they are worth a wager to win the game outright.

Carolina at St. Louis – 1 (42.5): I think the Panthers can legitimately aspire to the playoffs – albeit as the second NFL wildcard team. I just don’t see the Rams being much of anything this year. Give me the Panthers and that point.

Philly – 3 at Green Bay (42.5): Lambeau Field is not the home-field advantage that it used to be and this Green Bay team is not going to be confused with the Lombardi incarnations of the Packers. But the team and the fans should be up for the season opener here. Andy Reid’s teams typically start fast. So I see this game as a high scoring affair and I’ll take the game OVER.

Atlanta at Minnesota – 3 (35.5): Joey Harrington versus Tarvaris Jackson; give me a break! This game is a stinker. Unless you have a blood relative playing in it or coaching one of these fetid teams, watch something else. And for heaven’s sake don’t bet on this game for real. The only “angle” I see in this game is that Minnesota has a good defense and Atlanta’s offense should be one step above feeble. So, I’ll take the Vikes, lay the points, and hope that Tarvaris Jackson can find a way not to trip over his own two feet for 60 minutes on Sunday.

Miami at Washington – 3 (34.5): Miami has a good defense and should keep the Skins’ offense in check. Miami also has a weak offense, which should have difficulty scoring even against a marginal Skins’ defense. Having said that, you’d think that I see this game as a 10-7 game; I don’t. Somehow, points will show up and so I’ll take the game OVER this very, very low number.

New England – 6 at Jets (41): This is one of the three best games of the weekend. These are two good teams who happen to be in the same division so the game has a heightened degree of importance. I think the Pats are sitting on a big season so I’ll take them here and lay the points on the road.

Tampa Bay at Seattle – 5.5 (41): Seattle is the better team here even though the Bucs now have an NFL caliber QB who knows the West Coast offense. Add to that the trip diagonally across the country for the Bucs and the home field advantage that the Seahawks enjoy at Qwest Field and you get a big win for Seattle. I’ll take the Seahawks and lay the points.

Chicago at San Diego – 6 (42): This is the best game of the weekend. Nothing like a wee spot of pressure for Norv Turner in his opening game. He’s a six-point favorite over a Super Bowl participant last year at home. These are two good defenses. These can be two good offenses but Rex Grossman is hardly what you’d call a reliable QB. Then again, Rex is in his contract year … Norv Turner is also coaching against his brother Ron who is the offensive coordinator for the Bears. And when the Bears fired Ron Rivera as defensive coordinator after last season, Rivera took the job in San Diego. Lots of story lines here but the bottom line is I want the Chargers at home and I’ll lay the points.

Detroit at Oakland – 2.5 (40): This game stinketh !!! Last year, these two squads finished with a combined record of 5-27. There aren’t enough candles on the planet to make this game smell good. I think the Lions are the better team. I know the Lions tend to play very meekly on the road. The key to this game is the Lions’ suspect defense against the Raiders’ “MIA offense”. I can’t believe I am actually going to take the Lions on the road. But I’ll do just that with those points.

Giants at Dallas – 5.5 (44): In a move that shocked no one with an IQ over 72, Michael Strahan showed up to play for the Giants right after they closed down training camp. I wonder if he plans to practice with the team at all this season or if he’ll just beam down to the locker room on game day… By the middle of this year, Strahan will not be a starter at DE or an every down player at DE. That ought to make him a joy to be around. I like Dallas to win and cover here because their defense is better than the Giants’ defense while the two offenses are similar in ability.

Baltimore at Cincy – 3 (40): This is the “early Monday night game” and it is one of the three best games of the weekend. Carson Palmer makes the Bengals’ offense formidable; the Ravens’ defense is formidable even when half asleep. The Bengals’ defense couldn’t stop a run in a pair of pantyhose last year; the Ravens’ offense tries not to lose games for their defense. If there were value in playing the Ravens on the money like, I’d do that because I think they will win the game; but the odds are not appealing there. This should be an entertaining game and I’ll take the Ravens with the points.

Arizona at SF – 3 (44): This is the “late Monday night game” as the NFL puts out a Monday doubleheader to get the season started. This game does not have the “cachet” of the earlier game but it’s not one of the week’s horrid games either. I see lots and lots of points here so I want the game OVER. It will take some kind of excitement to keep East Coast fans awake to tune in for the second half that likely won’t start much before midnite.

Good luck.

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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Last weekend, I made four selections in Mythical Picks. All four were winners:

Wisconsin covered against Washington State

Ga.Tech not only covered against Notre Dame, they beat them by 30.

UNLV covered against Utah St. by a point on a late TD drive

Navy/Temple stayed UNDER 52.

Now if I were one of those guys on the infomercials for betting services, I’d be shouting as loudly as I could that I had a perfect week and I made my customers (maybe mythical ones?) thousands of dollars and I’d be willing to do the same for you if you paid me a small fee and you really need to call my toll-free number and… But I don’t do that. These picks are for fun; I put them out there for free; and because they are free, you know exactly what they are worth.

Let me candid here. If I could actually pick four out of four selections (or even three out of four) reliably every week, I’d own my own island by now. And I don’t…

So, as they say in the ads for mutual funds, past performance is no indicator of future success. No one would be stupid enough to use any information here as the basis for making a real wager using real money. Doing that would make you so dumb that you wouldn’t even be the smartest guy in the first four rows at a WWE pay-per-view event.

General Comments:

When talking about the Appalachian State upset of Michigan, lots of people say it was the biggest upset of all time. [I don’t know, but I’m sort of partial to David over Goliath in that category but whatever…] In college football, I recall a Temple/Va Tech game about 10 – 15 years ago when Temple went to Blacksburg as an underdog of 35-40 point proportion and won the game. Yes, I know that Temple is not actually a Division 1-AA school; but in actuality, they aren’t necessarily better than a lot of Division 1-AA schools.

I guess we now know why Charlie Weis kept his opening day QB selection a secret until game time. They all stunk! Forget that the Notre Dame only scored 3 points in the game; the total offense for the Irish was 122 yards. Notre Dame travels to Penn State this week and based on last week’s showings, the Irish are going to open the season at 0-2. Then they go to Michigan…

After the debacle, Charlie Weis said all the predictable things; they had to “rally the troops” and they had to “circle the wagons”. Good plan, coach. Now, don’t forget to tell the guys that after the wagons are circled they need to aim those rifles outside the circle…

In the past, I criticized Penn State for scheduling FIU, Temple and Buffalo as three out of conference games. Based on last week’s showing, maybe scheduling Notre Dame this year is a fourth patty-cake team?

Texas was a 40-point favorite over Arkansas State last week and only won by 8. But that’s better than what happened to Michigan and Notre Dame…

Duke lost to UConn last week. Duke led at the half 14-11. Then Duke came out in the second half and collapsed; they lost the second half 34-0.

I suggested last week that the Hawaii/Northern Colorado score would be 63-10. Sorry about that, Hawaii won 63-6. Colt Brennan threw for 4 TDs and 412 yards - - in the first half of the game. This week, Hawaii flies to Louisiana to play La Tech. The over/under for that game is 76.

Minnesota’s new football coach, Tim Brewster, said he was going to go from frat house to frat house to drum up interest in Gopher football. He said there were 54,000 students at Minnesota and there was no reason that the Gophers should play to any home crowds below 60,000. Then his team played their first game and lost at home to Bowling Green 32-31 in OT. I have an idea that’s not the way for him to win over new and loyal fans.

The Nick Saban Era at Alabama needs perspective. Alabama travels to Vanderbilt this week and the Tide is a 3.5-point favorite over the Commodores. Somewhere in the cosmos, Bear Bryant is weeping at the sight of this betting line…

By the way, do you think Nick Saban might be interested in the job at Michigan? It’s likely to come open at the end of this season…

Boise State is a 3-point favorite on the road against Washington. Just to show you that Boise State may have arrived as a recognized football program, consider that Boise State has never beaten a PAC-10 team on the road or any BCS Conference school on the road. [Last year’s bowl victory over Oklahoma was at a neutral site.] Yet, they are favored this week over a team that won big at Syracuse last week.

After the first week, the Big Ten has only one team in the Top 10 (Wisconsin) and only two others ranked between eleven and twenty-five (Penn State and Ohio State). Maybe the Big Ten isn’t all that good this year?

Texas started the week as a 7-point favorite over TCU. Texas was uninspiring in their win against Arkansas State last week while TCU shut out Baylor. However, it seems as if a whole lot of money has been coming in on Texas during the week because now the line is 9 at one sportsbook and 9.5 about everywhere else. That is a big movement in a college football line. I have no idea if this is “smart money” that is showing up or if this is “bet with your heart money”. It’s a good game to avoid from a betting perspective.

Games of Interest:

Usually, I only find a handful of NCAA games interesting – particularly in the early part of the season. For some reason, this weekend presents some lines that are surprising and so there are more games of interest than usual.

Oregon at Michigan – 7.5 (63): Two good offenses play two mediocre defenses. I would not be surprised to see either team beat the other one by a double-digit margin so I won’t try to guess the winner here and the margin. But I do like the OVER here.

VA Tech at LSU – 12 (40): Two really good defenses play two mediocre offenses. The Hokie offensive line let East Carolina sack the QB four times last week; might LSU have a pass rush equal to ECU? I think this game stays UNDER.

Bowling Green at Michigan State – 17.5 (57.5): Bowling Green may be flat as a tortilla this week after pointing to Minnesota in Week 1 and getting that win. On the other hand, this line says that Michigan State is 18.5 points better than Minnesota; do I believe that? No, I don’t. I’ll assume that Bowling Green uses last week’s game as a confidence-builder and plays similarly to last week. The line is fat; I’ll take Bowling Green with the points here.

Rice at Baylor – 6 (44): Rice was a feelgood story last year. They opened this year with a loss to Nicholls State by giving up a safety in the 4th quarter. I think the college football feelgood story will come from somewhere else this year. Baylor isn’t any kind of powerhouse; they were clobbered by TCU last week, but TCU is a top-25 team. Baylor is at home and they ought to be better than Nicholls State… I’ll take Baylor and lay the points.

Nebraska – 7.5 at Wake Forest (50): I couldn’t watch all of the Wake Forest/BC game last weekend, but while I was watching, BC moved the ball at will – and gave up two defensive TDs to the Deacons. Nebraska seems finally to have morphed from its power running offense to a spread passing offense. I didn’t see anything last week that would lead me to believe Wake Forest can stop that. I’ll take Nebraska here and lay the points - - but I sure would be happier if the line were only 7.

South Florida at Auburn – 7 (39): Auburn trailed Kansas State at the end of the third quarter and had to rally to win. South Florida won by two TDs - - against Elon. Auburn’s defense will probably be just a tad stingier than Elon’s was. I like Auburn here; I’ll lay the points.

Good luck.

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…

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