The Sports Curmudgeon®

Back in those heady days of Spring Training, there were some folks who pondered the possibility of a Cubs/White Sox World Series. Lots of fans have unrealistic expectations in March as they imagine mediocre pitchers on their favorite team “putting it all together this year” and winning 22 – 25 games. That kind of thing actually happens once in a great while – see Tigers, Detroit (2006) – but most of the time players who were mediocre players in the past continue to be mediocre players in the present. In Chicago, this kind of fanciful rumination tends to happen a lot. You’d think that having seen one World Series Championship amongst the town’s two teams in the last 99 years would temper that kind of exuberance or at least make folks think such exuberance is irrational [/Alan Greenspan]. Whatever.

Well, if you look at the standings today, the Cubbies are actually in second place in the NL Central. They happen to be 7.5 games behind the Milwaukee Brewers and they are one game under .500, but they are in an amazingly weak division where any team can go in the tank at any moment. I shan’t be making any wagers with the mortgage money on the Cubbies going to the World Series this year – or even on their making the playoffs – but they still have a shot.

The White Sox on the other hand seem to have come apart at the seams. They are nine games under .500; they are twelve games out of first place in the AL Central; they are only two games ahead of the Kansas City Royals. The season is just about half over and the White Sox would need to climb over the Twins, Indians and Tigers to win their division. That simply is not going to happen without Divine intervention.

Since I mentioned the Milwaukee Brewers above, here’s something to ponder. If one is in recovery and participating in an Alcoholics Anonymous program, would it still be appropriate for him to root for a team known as the Brewers? Just asking…

The Baltimore Orioles shook up their organization when they fired their manager a short time back. Peter Angelos hired Andy MacPhail to be the Orioles’ Chief Operating Officer – whatever that title means in baseball. Folks in Baltimore tend to see this in an extraordinarily positive way and they point to his baseball pedigree – father and grandfather were “baseball men” – and his experiences working his way up the ladder in the game. I think they may be looking at the world through orange-colored-glasses to some extent. Andy MacPhail’s prior job in baseball was as the GM for the Chicago Cubs and as the President/CEO for the Chicago Cubs. I don’t recall exactly how long he was there in Chicago, but let me estimate that he spent 10 years in one or both of those jobs. If he were such a stupendous choice to turn around the Orioles’ franchise, wouldn’t his genetic make-up and baseball experience have led him to turn the Cubbies into a powerhouse sometime during that 10-year period?

I guess I have to resign myself to being an old-school baseball fan. I’m so old-school that I remember double headers on Memorial Day, the 4th of July and Labor Day. In the current time, it isn’t even certain that every team will play on those holidays. I also remember Sunday doubleheaders for most of the Sundays from mid-May to mid-September. The next time some goof tries to tell you that no species has ever gone extinct, ask them whatever happened to all those Sunday doubleheaders. The goof will probably call you an unflattering name; just tell him, you’re “old-school”.

As NFL teams wound down their “Organized Team Activities” last week, there was a lot of gushing in Dallas about how much more fun things are within the team now that Wade Phillips is the coach and Bill Parcells is doing TV work. It became de rigueur for players and writers to intimate that the martinet atmosphere of a Bill Parcells “OTA” was not conducive to positive team chemistry or a winning atmosphere. Here’s what I know about Bill Parcells; he coached 4 different teams; all of them were losers when he took over; he had all of them in the playoffs within two years of his arrival; no other coach in NFL history has ever taken 4 different teams to the playoffs.

Now, does that mean he was perfect as a coach and that anything he decided to do with his team was automatically the correct thing to do? Of course not. But I think the players and the writers in Dallas ought to take a step back and look at the big picture here. Bill Parcells’ Cowboys made the playoffs last year as a wild card team and lost to Seattle on a fumbled snap from center on an extra point try. If he stays retired, he is a mortal lock to be in the Hall of Fame. I wonder how many of the players complaining about his coaching can look forward to certain induction in Canton?

Parcells’ influence around the league is pervasive. Tom Coughlin and Romeo Crennel both coached under Parcells. Coughlin is probably close to the end of his run in NY, but recall that he took an expansion Jax team to a conference championship game very quickly. Crennel simply does not have enough talent on the field to win a lot of games. Sean Payton coached under Parcells and he seemed to do pretty well with the Saints last year; I believe he was Coach of the Year. And of course, Bill Belichick – he of the three Super Bowl Championships in New England – had a long coaching association with Parcells. One would be mightily hard pressed to come up with a comparably accomplished “coaching-tree” for Wade Phillips.

People are already handing out grades on last night’s NBA Draft. I’m on record that drafts can’t really be evaluated for the first couple of years but you’d think that it might be interesting to wait until the draftees have actually played in an NBA game or two – even exhibition games? – before declaring that this guy will be a star and this other guy was an awful draft pick. If you’re waiting for me to give an early assessment here, check back sometime in late January/early February of 2008. I don’t focus much on NBA basketball until then because most of the players aren’t all that focused on the games either.

Finally, here’s an item from Dwight Perry in the Seattle Times:

“FilmSchoolRejects.com has released its rankings of the 10 best ultra-violent movies of all time, and ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’ (1974) edged out ‘Hostel’ (2006) for the No. 1 honors.

Also receiving votes: the 2006 Oakland Raiders highlight film.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…