The Sports Curmudgeon

OK, everyone who got their singlets in a knot over the Selection Committee’s actions a couple of Sundays ago needs to offer an apology. The Elite Eight consisted of all four teams seeded #1 and three teams seeded #2 and one team seeded #3. If you thought the Selection Committee was nothing but a bunch of doofuses a couple of weeks ago and said so, you should now say with similar vigor that they may have gotten it right this year. I won’t hold my breath until I hear that chorus.

Man, there was some really good basketball played this weekend. Even the teams that lost played well – except for Memphis who play an undisciplined style all the time and win because they have better athletes than most of their opponents.

Most of Thursday’s games were close and most went to the final minute. UCLA/Pitt was close but it was an ugly game featuring a lot of missed shots and a lot of fouls. Pitt seems always to make it to the Sweet Sixteen with the same kind of team – big and strong with minimal athletic ability and no scorers. I’m not sure how they do that.

Friday’s games featured comebacks – and the Georgetown/Vandy game had some very inconsistent officiating. I’m not talking about the traveling/not traveling call in the final three seconds; I’m talking about how the game was called as it unfolded. There were periods where touch fouls were whistled; then they’d go three or four minutes where it seemed that the officials were waiting for autopsy results before they blew a whistle. But they didn’t seem to favor either team when they went from one mode to the other.

Please notice that all of the teams in the Final Four play strong defense. Even though the college three-point line is too close to the basket and many teams simply try to outrun and out-score opponents, good defense is a very much underappreciated aspect of college basketball. Next week’s games should be very interesting; I’m particularly waiting to see Georgetown/Ohio State; that should be outstanding.

Let me offer an idea here. Every year, lots of folks focus attention on the Cinderella team in the tournament and who will fill that role in any given year. It is a standard theme leading up to the first couple of rounds of play and should a double-digit seed of a team actually get to the Elite Eight, the chorus achieves stentorian status. Cinderella is a bad metaphor; it doesn’t work here.

In the fairy tale, Cinderella escapes her dreary world for a moment; is forced to return for another moment but finds everlasting happiness with her Prince. She goes on to be a Princess – and perhaps a Queen someday. That doesn’t happen in the NCAA Tournament; the “Cinderella” there always takes a seat and watches someone else win. That would be like having the fairy tale end with the Prince putting the glass slipper on Cinderella’s foot – as if no other woman in the kingdom had the same shoe size – and seeing that it fits but telling her something along the lines of:

“Hey it was nice dancing with you last night and I wanted to let you know that I had a good time but I have enough women in my stable of concubines at the palace now. If a few of them decide to take a hike, maybe I’ll give you a call. But in the meantime, if you’re the one responsible for cleaning up around here, you missed a couple of spots over there by the fireplace…”

Will everyone who has watched the CBS telecasts of the NCAA Tournament please invest 5 minutes of your time and 39 cents; write a short letter to the mavens at CBS and thank them profusely for not using “sideline reporters” in all of these games. While you’re at it, thank them for doing the same during the NFL season. Did you really miss having some goof stick a microphone in the face of some parent or “celebrity” in the audience to hear what that non-participant had to say at a random moment? I sure didn’t. In fact, I appreciated that they did not interrupt the flow of the game for such nonsense. The mailing address for CBS is:

CBS Television
51 W. 52nd St.
New York, NY 10019

If they get enough contacts, they just might maintain the “absence of sideline reporters” and the idea might catch on elsewhere. Wouldn’t that be nice…?

As we are all enjoying hard-fought college basketball games, few if any folks are watching whatever games the NBA is putting on TV these days. And it’s getting down to crunch time with regard to the NBA playoffs, too. Maybe there’s a reason for that and maybe the reason is right there in the standings in your morning newspaper. Please focus on the Eastern Conference of the NBA where eight teams have to make the playoffs. If there were ever a reason to think about changing the way playoff berths are earned in the NBA, the standings at this moment should be compelling evidence.

There are only two teams in the East who win more than 60% of their games as of today. There are four others who win more than 50% of the time but less than 60% of the time. Those six teams will make the playoffs even if some might not be “compelling presences”. But the NBA has two more spots to fill. At this instant, Orlando and New Jersey would be the teams in those spots and both the Magic and the Nets have records of 32-38. Should either team falter – who could possibly think that was unlikely – the teams within striking distance of their records are the Pacers at 31-38 and the Knicks at 30-39. Give me a break. Unless you are a charter member of the fan club for one of these four teams you cannot possibly want to see them play out the rest of the regular season let along want to see any of them play on from there. The NBA will represent these teams as contenders for their championship; they should be sued for false advertising.

Finally, a comment from David Letterman:

“Did you know that the vacuum cleaner has been around for 105 years? The only thing that’s sucked longer is the Knicks.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…