The Sports Curmudgeon

I know I said that I’d do a rundown of upcoming NFL free agents today, but I had “other business to attend to” yesterday and I’m still not ready. Free agency doesn’t start until 2 March, so I still have time to get that done next week. But I did notice an interesting NFL related story whilst browsing around the Internet yesterday related to Jim Sorgi. Come on now, you know that name; right, he’s the back-up QB for the Indy Colts; he’s the guy who wears a helmet on Sundays about as frequently as Paris Hilton says, “Not tonight, I have a headache.” Just prior to the Super Bowl, Sorgi said he was like the “Maytag repairman”; he was there if he was needed except nobody ever needed him. Recently, Sorgi signed a deal with Whirlpool - - the company that bought out Maytag - - and auditioned for the role of the reincarnated “Maytag repairman.”

It seems that the Chicago Bears and Lovie Smith have not been able to reach an agreement on a contract extension – and a pay raise for Smith who will remain the lowest paid head coach in the NFL. If reports are correct, Lane Kiffen in Oakland will make about 50% more than Smith next year. I know that the Bears are notorious for “controlling payroll costs”, but this is so out of line that it doesn’t make sense. I don’t pretend to know what the deal is here, but there have to be some other factors at work.

Brian Billick just got a contract extension and at least one report said he would make $5.5M a year. I like Billick as a coach and I certainly have no problem with him getting top dollar. Having said that, I’m not all that sure that the Ravens are going to excel next year even though they have maintained coaching continuity. The key players on the team have imminent appointments with Father Time; Steve McNair, Jonathon Ogden, Ray Lewis, Derrick Mason, Samari Rolle and Chris McAlister all have “tread wear”. I’m not saying the team is going to fall apart and get the overall first pick in the 2008 draft; but this is a team on the brink if a championship just as much as it is a team on the brink of 5-11. Oh, and now it appears as if Adelius Thomas will hit the free agent market without a franchise tag attached. The Ravens are good, but the foundation pieces for the team are beginning to show some wear.

I’m sure you’ve already heard more than necessary about Pacman Jones and the shooting in the Las Vegas strip club last weekend. Here’s an angle on the story I haven’t heard yet. Jones supposedly was part of a group who were there to “rain dollar bills” down on the stage; when the strippers were called to the stage to pick up the money, some of them evidently made a cash-grab and that wasn’t part of the script. It seems as if it was supposed to “rain money” and then the money was supposed to go back to the folks who made it rain. Now, can someone explain to this very un-hip and so 25-years-ago old man how that is supposed to square with the coveted image of “keeping it real”. That posse showed up with so much cash to throw around – except it was all for show and they wanted it back. Impressive…

Arena football starts next week; I guess that means that all the Arena league fantasy drafts will be held this weekend, right? What surprised me was the announcement that the Arena league will begin its 21st season next week; if you had put me on the spot and asked me how old Arena football was, I would have guessed 12-15 years at the most. I guess time flies - - even if you aren’t having fun.

I saw this note in a Greg Cote piece in the Miami Herald:

“The U.S. team beat the host Czech Republic to advance in Davis Cup play. Still trying to find anybody who cares about the Davis Cup. I don’t believe even Davis cares all that much.”

That is a perfect summary of the stature of tennis in the sporting cosmos in 2007. Without resorting to a Google search, how many of you know when the Davis Cup Finals will happen? How many rounds are there in the tournament? Was that U.S. victory early in the tournament or late in the tournament? What other teams are still in the running? Now, tell the truth; how many of you are willing to expend the energy to do a Google search now and find out the answer to even one of the questions above? The prosecution rests, Your Honor…

Another big piece of news in tennis is that Wimbledon will offer the same prizes to the men and the women this year. I am totally in favor of that but let us not get wound up in some kind of “equality argument” here because that’s not particularly relevant. The fact of the matter is that the women’s tournament is more interesting and draws more attention than the men’s tournament. Wimbledon is – at its core – a business proposition and there should be no question that the women deserve at least the same prize structure as the men. Since that balance may change in the future and it would be a subject of great emotion and bloviating any time the overseers at Wimbledon chose to change the prize formula, the best thing for them to do is to pay the men and the women equally.

Of the tennis Grand Slam events, three of them have equal prize structures for men and women now. Naturally, the French Open is the “different one”. The men’s champion in the French Open gets the same prize money as the women’s champion, but the rest of the men get a bigger pool of money than do the women in that tournament. How “French” is that?

I have to hand it to MLB; they have come up with a really transparent way to dip their hands into the fans’ pockets and are pushing it as an improvement for the players. Baseball caps will no longer be wool; now they will be a polyester blend, which supposedly will allow them to “breathe better” and will resist shrinkage when they get wet. That’s fine; I don’t care if they make baseball caps out of “non-obtainium”. Here’s the kicker though; if you want to buy one of the new caps, it’s going to cost you 10% more than the wool caps used to cost. And just wait, in about four or five years, they’ll come out with the wool caps as “retro versions” or “old-tyme authentic versions” and those babies will probably cost 50% more than the already inflated price for the polyester blend ones. You have to tip your cap to the MLB marketing folks for this one.

Finally, another line from Greg Cote in the Miami Herald:

“Cannot confirm but we hear that one of the Marlins’ planned promotions this coming season will be a weekly $10,000 giveaway. Small snag, though. So far, they have been unable to find any fans willing to give the club that much money.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…